Holidays........

This is NOT my favourite holiday -- and as I type that I wonder if folks who LOVE Christmas all dislike Hallowe'en -- cause that's the category I fit in -- HATE Hallowe'en and LOVE Christmas.

I was hoping having a lil one around again might bring back the joy of Hallowe'en... but NOPE not even close. Is there such a thing as a Grinch for Hallowe'en?? cause I might just win that title.

However -- I would not spoil the excitement of this ghosts and ghouls day for the lil one.  

Last week we went looking for a costume for her........ she wanted to be a clown -- but ya know what ? they don't make costumes that are meant to fit over snow suits..... and here in the Great White North by the end of October we are into at the very least snow jackets.... definitely long sleeves of some sort.  We were educated that most of the costumes that they sell up here are made in California........... 

REALLY??!!  that's the best the costume stores can do??!!  getting costumes from a state that doesn't even know what a snowsuit is?? (le sigh)

Sooooooooo we convinced her that she really wanted to be one of the 100 and 1 Dalmatians ........... that way we have a small hope of getting her snow jacket under the costume.

Thankfully the dance class party allowed her to wear her costume with only leotards under it....... (tonite is the snow suit challenge) She got dressed up and wiggled her tail and loved her black painted nose....... and was thrilled with the Zombie dance they learned and all the candy treats she got........ 

Then after supper, continuing the Hallowe'en tradition Sir Steve and the lil one cut out the pumpkin.  Can I say 'ewwwwwwwww'?  I can't stand the smell of pumpkin and am despairing I will ever get the smell out of the house......  BUT I was the good "step mom" and sat there watching them -- taking pictures -- and 'ohhhing' and 'ahhhing' over their progress....... 

I have to admit I was so impressed with the final product -- Sir Steve has the patience of Job and a steady hand....... 

Tonite I am making 'pumpkins' for supper (english muffins smothered in cheese with hot dog eyes, nose and mouth) -- bundling up to sit outside and hand out candy while Sir Steve and the lil one (complete with umbrella -- cause not only is it cold but it's raining!!) go door to door trick or treating.......... 

Tomorrow will end this Hallowe'en madness and I can - without guilt - start planning all the Christmas festivities !!

Warm Fuzzies

It's Monday and all the birthday celebrations have come to an end......  I am filled with lovely warm fuzzies.

I am feeling very spoiled and very very loved --
from the surprise engagement a week before my birthday 

to the flowers and birthday cake on the actual day

to my girls and their husbands coming down for dinner with us on Saturday -- and bringing gifts for their old mom - bath pampering products and a book "All the Ever Afters" and cards that made me laugh.......

to the birthday spanks (AND Sir Steve actually count them out!)  and wonderful earth shattering sex and orgasms last night.

I have to say this year's birthday was probably the best one in many years!

Life is good when you are spoiled and loved.

 

Sunday Sentiments

Technology -- UGH

My cell phone has been dying -- a slow painful death.

Last weekend Sir Steve suggested we go look at a new phone for me........ he was frustrated because occasionally my phone wouldn't ring -- but would go right to voice mail...... AND....... it happened mostly when he called.

Sooooooooo I got a new phone.  The reason I hate getting new phones -- or computers -- is because they aren't the old ones...... and will work differently and I will get frustrated trying to sort it out.

This phone was no exception.

It started with the phone not being compatible with my fitbit app.  So I removed the app from my phone and figured I would just work off the website on my laptop.
BUT then when I was out for lunch on Thursday I noticed I had a voice message.  I tried to access my messages and was told I had the wrong password.  OH and I had special ring tones for my contacts and they got lost in the transfer (or so I thought) and I knew I would have to figure out how to d/l new ringtones and get them assigned.

Colour me more than a little frustrated. 

Yesterday I went back to the store for the messaging problem.  They told me they weren't allowed to work on that sort of thing I would have to contact my phone company.  BUT when I told them I was frustrated over my fitbit app...... they suggested I delete the app and reload it.

The first thing I did when I came home was try the fitbit app....... et voila it worked!!  My confidence was increasing...... I could do this !!

I contacted my phone company and found out it was a real easy fix...... instead of all the steps I had to go through before..now I just have to push the #1 on the phone and it will automatically take me to my message box.......... et voila it worked!!  I was on a roll.

Then I goggled how to d/l ringtones and get them to work......... took a bit of time.. and some frustration.......... but suddenly it made sense and I was d/ling files like crazy and moving them into the right folder and then assigning them to the right contact ... et voila it worked!  

So now when Sir Steve calls me I hear the song "I'm a gonna whip somebody's ass".... it always makes me smile..

Life is good when you tackle technology and win !!!

Holiday......

welllllll sort of.......... 

The lil one has a PA day today (day off school) so she has gone to her mother's a day early -- which means I didn't have to get up before the sun today to get her ready for school.  Thus it feels like a holiday !!

Which doesn't mean I am gonna sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day.... My new cell phone has a couple of glitches so a quick visit to the shop is on the 'to do list' today...... and sprucing up the house ........ because the birthday celebrations continue........ Tomorrow my girls are coming down for a dinner celebration at a local restaurant..... and hopefully they will stop by the house for some coffee after...... 

I'm really looking forward to seeing them both........ I miss my eldest daughter - after a summer of seeing her and her husband every weekend means I find I am missing her...
and when we go to visit the youngest daughter the house is always full of people... loud noisy people and I don't really get any quality time with her.... so a few hours with her to catch up will be very nice.  Sir Steve started this tradition last year ... where only MY family gets invited to MY birthday -- what a great tradition!!

Update on yesterday.....

I met a friend for a birthday lunch and we spent 2 hours catching up on news...... while we enjoyed a wonderful lunch......

Then Sir Steve came home with an armful of flowers for me.............. 

AND a birthday cake!!  As he said "it's not a birthday without cake!" 

 This is turning out to be the BEST birthday ever!
 

My Day

YUP I've completed one more year around the sun........... 

What a year it has been - from moving in here with Sir Steve -- to the engagement last Friday night.........  

Yesterday I got my annual "my shopping day" done -- and managed to get 2 new pairs of jeans - one new sweater -- underwear (not as sexy as I intended) -- and a new dress to wear to dinner on Saturday night.

Today I have received many happy birthday wishes on Facebook......... 

BUT

the biggest surprise was when I woke the lil one up  (all she has been thinking of for the last week or so is Halloween)......... but as she sat her lil bum down at the kitchen table for breakfast -- she looked over at me through messy bed hair and sleepy eyes and said
"Happy Birthday S"

Best birthday wish EVER !!!

 

Try Again

Sooooooooo the landlord didn't show up till just after noon yesterday -- there was no way I was gonna go shopping then!!  My mood was - to put it mildly - pissy!!

But today is a new day -- and though I don't have the level of excitement I had yesterday - I am gonna take the day for me.  

So once I get the lil one on the school bus I am heading to the shower -- putting on make up ......... and heading off for the day..... 

Shopping list includes;
new jeans (maybe 2 pairs as I really would like a black pair)
some new snuggly sweaters 
IF I am really adventurous I might just pop into the lingerie shop and see what I can find that checks the 'sexy' box -- as Sir Steve notices and appreciates sexy.... 

AND if I am really on a roll -- I might just do some Christmas shopping...... YES Christmas !!!  I do like to have that totally under control long before the month of December when the crowds in the shops get crazy..

Waiting and waiting and waiting

A little background........
I HATE shopping -- absolutely hate it!
EXCEPT
once a year........ during my birthday week.
I go and buy myself some new clothes 

This is my birthday week....... I had plans to shower and dress up and head out this morning to shop for some new sweaters and black jeans and maybe some new sexy lingerie........ 

Last night Sir Steve told me the landlord would be here early this morning to install some smoke detectors and pay him for some work Sir Steve did for him........ Sir Steve told me he would be here first thing this morning......... 

WELL
it is after 9 am he is still not here -- I can't exactly go have a shower and dickie myself up...... I have to sit and wait....... and wait ......... and wait.  (I have texted the landlord and no answer)

Somehow this shopping spree birthday present to me has lost it's thrill........... 

I think I will go sulk in the corner........ and come out NEXT week -- after my birthday.

History

Since the announcement of our engagement -- some folks have said "that was quick"... 

Time for a little history lesson (grinning)

Sir Steve and I have known each other for over 10 years.  When I first met him he was married........ This was back in the days of play parties every weekend.... I was single at the time and looking for a play partner with no strings -- or expectations -- attached.   Sir Steve and his wife became my play partners... sometimes it was Sir Steve -- sometimes both of them -- and rarely just his wife.  Then on Sunday they would come and spend the afternoon with me and we'd drink coffee and solve the great mysteries of the world.

After weeks of playing together I realized I was developing some serious feelings for Sir Steve............ but I am an honourable woman and would never EVER do anything to act on those feelings with a married man.... we were friends only.

When his marriage imploded -- quickly and without much warning -- we went our separate ways.  BUT BDSM is a community ... and I would get news on both of them and the different directions their lives went.

Then Sir Steve met the lil one's mom... oh the gossip in the community!!!  She didn't have the best reputation -- was a bit of a gold digger so I heard.....shrug... his life was moving along and I was happy for him.  

We still bumped into each other at munches and play parties... I even got to meet the lil one when she was just a babe in arms..... 

It turns out that Sir Steve kept his ears open for news about me -- much the same way as I did for him.... and he has told me he fussed a bit with some of the decisions I made.  

BUT we weren't meant to be ya know...... he had made a life for himself with someone else and I had gone back to the man who had been my Dom....I closed the book and moved on.

Then two years ago........ out of the blue........ Sir Steve contacted me on Facebook.  I was SO conflicted!!  BUT he only wanted to be friends again....... what could happen right?? We talked for a couple of months via messenger... and then he convinced me to stop for coffee on one of my trips to Montreal....... even then I didn't make it easy for him.... in November I agreed to meet him -- but on my way home -- and I warned him it would be early in the morning.  I texted him at 8 am and said 'I'll be there in an hour' and he met me !!!

More talking for another month and then just after New Year's he came to visit -- twice in one week !!  and the second visit lasted 2 1/2 days..... and that was it.... we were one.  We fit together like a puzzle.. complimenting each other.

He helped me heal -- did what was impossible for my therapist do (yes I was in therapy for a long time after the relationship with my Dom ended)    He gave me a whole new perspective of what a 'good submissive' could be... he held my hand and helped me grow -- helped me move forward....helped me heal.

And so it was -- after a only a few months of commuting between cities I decided to move .......... 

And here we are now -- engaged!

Wedding plans??? Sir Steve is still legally married to the lil one's mom...... he will have to get a divorce and neither of us have any illusions about how easy that is gonna be........... 

BUT

as I told him...... knowing he wants to marry me -- wearing his ring on my finger... having that commitment is all I really need ..... if the day comes when we can make it legal .. shrug... it'll probably be a quick visit to city hall (on a lunch hour -- grinning) 

 

Sunday Sentiments

BIG happy News

So as most of you know I have been 'under the weather' for the last week or so.... I have been following Sir Steve's orders and taking it easy ... which means for the most part I have moved from the bed in the morning to the sofa..... and just vegged all week.

Yesterday we had an appointment ... so I washed my face, pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and met Sir Steve.  By the time I got home I was exhausted.. though truthfully I was feeling much better just not much energy.

When Sir Steve got home from work later in the afternoon -- he said he was taking me out to dinner to a new Bistro in town.  I said 'my hair is a mess and I look like sh*t' -- He said come on let's go.......... 

So I pulled on a pretty sweater -- ran a brush through my hair -- put on some perfume and lipstick and thought that's the best I can do on short notice.......... 

It was a lovely lil Bistro -- and we had a delightful dinner 

Dessert came and we were discussing my birthday (it's next week) and I told him (again!) how much I HATE my birthday cause it reminds me how much older I am than him.......... and OMG the numbers are really creeping up there......... 

Sir Steve said something along the lines of 'what can I do to make it special?' I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about....... there's nothing he can do to make me get over this age difference.......... 

While I was thinking all that..... Sir Steve stood up and then knelt down on one knee beside me (and all I could think was 'what the hell is he doing -- he's gonna hurt his knee!!) And he pulled out a ring box and opened it to show me a beautiful engagement ring........ I started crying and threw my arms around his neck ....  

He did manage to get the ring on my finger then I started crying and hugging him again..... He pulled back and said " Sooooooooo is that a YES?"  I started laughing through my tears and said Yes of course it is!!

The owner of the restaurant came over thinking there was something wrong with the dessert.... when she realized what had just happened she offered to take a picture... I squealed "nooooooooooo my hair is awful".... (I must have sounded like a mad woman cause she smiled and slowly backed away - grinning)

We took a picture of the ring when we got home.......... 

and the fairy tale continues.........

So very proud.........

Sir Steve and I arrived at the school at 2:30 yesterday.  The teacher (not looking very pleased to see us) greeted us at the door.  As I glanced to the left and there was the lil one all dressed in her winter coat sitting alone in the main office ... looking very small and alone.

The principal came out and took us all into her office.  Before anything could begin I insisted on the lil one taking off her coat and being comfortable.... I had also suggested to Sir Steve that we sit on either side of her.

The principal started by asking the lil one to tell her what had happened.  The lil one was hugging her school bag.... and fidgeting.. but she didn't hesitate -- she spoke up and told them exactly what had happened... even when the principal questioned her about the 'box' the lil one explained it was really a 'bin'.  

Even when they asked her what happened after she told her friend (hoping I think to get the lil one to say she had told others in the class) the lil one said the friend had told the other children.

The teacher leaned forward and said (rather gruffly in my opinion) that he was sorry -- he should have asked why she had used the word and should have gotten to the bottom of the incident.  The lil one just smiled at him.

The whole thing was over in 15 minutes.

But last night I was going over the whole thing in my head...... and I realized what a bright, brave young girl the lil one is. She gets.. really gets! .... that she has the right to voice the truth and she has the right to be listened to.  This time we had to fight for her right -- for her voice to be heard ... but I have a feeling this lil girl is one day not going to have any trouble using her voice.

Life is good when you are watching the caterpillar transform into a butterfly 

 

Authority Figures

I am so submissive by nature.......... when someone is in a position of 'authority' I put them up on a pedestal and 'worship' them?? OK OK maybe not worship -- but I sure as hell never question what they tell me...... 

Let's start with  DOCTORS 

A couple of years ago my then family doctor called me after some blood tests and told me I had to go on a B12 supplement because my B12 levels were terribly low.  He told me to go get the largest dose of B12 one can buy and take it every day.  Being the good patient I did as he told me.......... 

Now I have a new doctor -- and he reviewed my medications with me -- prescription and over the counter.  He questioned why the B12 and I told him.  He was looking at my file -- he told me I was just barely under the acceptable level...... he said I certainly didn't need such a large dose........ he told me to cut my daily intake by more than half.  I asked for another blood test to give me (if not him) an idea of where my B12 levels were......... 

Yesterday I had the blood tests -- today I got the results.  The only item on the list of tests that was abnormal was -- you guessed it -- my B12!!  It was even marked as being VERY high.  My B12 is 800+  ....... it had been 138 ...normal is between 150 and 400.......... So now I am thinking I maybe should cut the dose I am on in half...... I see the doctor in another 4 weeks  and I'm sure he'll have some thoughts on the dosage.....

BUT it kinda leaves me wondering who can you trust with your health???

Now another set of authority figures........... 

Teachers.

A little over 2 weeks ago I wrote #Mybody....... explaining how the lil one's teacher had reacted to her reporting (to a friend) an accidental 'bad touch'.  Sir Steve contacted the teacher and principal -- and as I told you all -- their response did not satisfy us.  (you can read that one HERE)  So Sir Steve asked for a meeting with both the teacher - the principal - and the lil one.  

He has played telephone tag with the school for all this time....... BUT finally yesterday they agreed to a meeting this afternoon after school !!!  
About bloody time!  Let's hope we have some resolution to this today and maybe it'll make just a small impact on how other similar situations are handled.

Life is good when you find your own voice...... for yourself and the lil ones.

Yuck Season

I have a cold.. complete with aching bones, runny nose, cough and headache.  Anyone want the germs before they kill me?? I am quite willing to send them off to you via email .. or 'cold-a-gram'......... I am not a good patient -- not a patient patient ya know?? I can handle being sick for maybe 2 days then I want to be over it !!  Unfortunately the bugs aren't on the same page -- and seem to drag on forever !!

Last night Sir Steve came home to pick up the lil one to go to dance class -- he took one look at me and said 'I'll order pizza for supper on my way home'.  God bless that man!!  I honestly wasn't looking forward to having to create some sort of nutritious meal ............ so we had pizza... then I laid on the couch blowing my nose... taking my Tylenol... and dying.......... 

Today I don't feel much better -- but I do have an appointment for blood tests this morning and we do need some essentials from the grocery store........ THEN I will come home and climb back into my comfy clothes and die.............. 

I HATE being sick !!

Catch Up

We had a quiet weekend -- I had the sniffles -- we did take a nice drive on Sunday through the fall colours.  I can't believe it's mid October and the colours are just coming into their own!  (usually it's the beginning of the month -- our Thanksgiving)

Yesterday I felt crappy -- still only have the sniffles -- but add body aches and a low grade headache...... yuck !!

Last night I decided to make a special supper -- I made schnitzel...... and we had roasted bacon and potatoes with it.......

my presentation could use some work -- but it was delicious !!

 
fair amount of work but it was declared a success...... and Sir Steve did the washing up which was wonderful cause I was "done" by the time dinner hit the table......

When the lil one got home from school yesterday she was very excited -- she had lost her first tooth......... 

It made me a little sad -- the lost tooth makes her look older somehow -- no more little girl...........  BUT I had bought her a 'tooth fairy doll' complete with a pocket in her dress for lost teeth and she got to use it last night...... ohhhhhhh the excitement over the tooth fairy coming !!!  was almost as good as Santa Claus!

Today I am under orders to have a quiet day -- sniffle my sniffles and cough my coughs.............

Sunday Sentiments

L'Chaim

I grew up in a mostly Jewish neighbourhood.  My best friend was Jewish.  We used to spend all our free time together.... and we celebrated each other's holidays together.  She learned about Christmas and Easter... I learned about Hanukkah and Passover.  I was lucky enough to pick up some Yiddish words as well.  

Yesterday I was thinking about a Jewish toast - "L'Chaim" ...... 'to life'.  And I thought YES -- to life!!  It's the first time ever (I think) that after a clear cancer test I actually realized how lucky I was -- how much I should have been celebrating 'to life'.  Life never seemed as important as it does now....... I want to live fully and lovingly and forever (even if that is a bit of a pipe dream).  

My heart felt light..... the aches and pains of recovery from the test were hardly noticeable. The snuffy nose and cough I had developed over night barely registered.  I was looking To Life !  and realizing how lucky I am !!  So much to be thankful for.

Last night Sir Steve and I had a real celebratory dinner............... 

Piles and piles of the best Chinese food ever! 

The rest of the weekend stretches out ahead of us -- nothing major planned -- mostly resting and recharging our batteries -- and that is a good thing!  

Life is a good thing......... L'CHAIM!

Happy Dance

Today I am doing the happy dance........ 

Yesterday's cancer test went well -- no anomalies and no cancer.   My next appointment is in one year!  Sir Steve was by my side through the whole thing.... watching the screen ... telling me how good it was looking (because I can NOT look) ..... and then we went out for a celebratory lunch..

Today is mending day -- mending from the test and the stress I put myself through..... Sir Steve ordered a 'quiet day'........ I think for once I will do what I am told.  

Life is good when you have someone by your side through the bad times .... AND when the bad times turn out to be good!

#Mybody continued

Last Friday I wrote #Mybody........ Today I thought I would do an update ......

We heard back from the teacher and the principal ....... the teacher said the principal was going to handle it...... The principal said she would call.  She did -- BUT -- she didn't pay attention to the times Sir Steve was available to take calls.... so they played telephone tag yesterday.  I was disappointed because I was hoping to have some closure by yesterday.

BUT

the saga continues..... 

the lil one came home from her mother's yesterday.  She reads the agenda and saw the note from the teacher (as well as Sir Steve's mention of sending an email).  She told the lil one that she isn't supposed to use "bad words" (!!!) I had given the lil one the tools she needed IF mother tried to intervene.  So the lil one simply said "Daddy and S are dealing with it."

BUT I was livid again.  Why would a MOTHER not ask what happened?? Why would a MOTHER not have probed a little deeper ?? Instead she assumed her daughter was at fault and had used a BAD word. 

It's a pretty sad world where a mother doesn't protect her daughter from the possibility of abuse or harassment....... where a mother doesn't give her daughter the power to say NO....... to say My body My choice......... but where a mother perpetuates the politics of keeping quiet.  

All of this is a pretty sad statement of how far we haven't come in regards to women's/girl's rights. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Sir Steve finally got in touch with the principal.  The school is sticking to the story that the lil one was using the word vagina for no good reason.  The lil one is sticking to her story of an accidental bad touch ....... we asked her if she would be willing to come to school and tell her teacher and the principal -- she agreed without hesitation.  This child is not lying...... 

I feel as though the school might have circled the wagons  - so to speak.  We aren't looking to blame the teacher.... we just want them to recognise that the lil one wasn't wrong -- didn't do anything wrong.

(le sigh)

Worrying Time

I am due for my cancer test this Thursday.  I have/had bladder cancer.  I'm never sure if it is past tense or present tense.  5 years ago they found a big tumor that they removed in surgery.  Since then - when I go for the re-tests - they mostly find small spots that can be removed by laser immediately.  

Sounds easy right?

Yeah except they put the tube with camera inside me without any freezing....... and they do the laser zapping without any freezing.

AND
it hurts like hell !!

The last time - a year ago - he found a 'wrinkle'.  He said it didn't look like cancer -- looked just like a wrinkle -- but better safe than sorry he said.  It took 10 - TEN - zaps to eradicate the 'wrinkle'. 

This Thursday Sir Steve will drive me back to Kingston (cause I love my oncologist and can't imagine starting with someone new).  Sir Steve says everything will be fine.... probably will be.  Nothing more than what I have already been through -- but I still stress.  Whoever says you forget pain didn't have bladder cancer...... didn't go through the tests or removal.  I am not worrying about whether they find it again -- but worried about the pain I endure......... too bad being a masochist doesn't extend to every sort of pain........ 

All that to say -- if I am quiet for the next couple of days -- it's because I don't have anything to write about -- and one post on worry per test is my limit.

Good thoughts ..... prayers... good vibes would be appreciated.......... 

Finding the Right Words

On Saturday I wrote a piece "Conflicted"........ mostly I knew it was something I had to deal with -- work my way through it .... and find peace with my decision..... Cause there was no way in hell I was gonna walk away from this relationship!

On Friday afternoon Sir Steve and I had a trip to the Nation's capital to take care of some 'business' (more on that much later) ... and I was very quiet.  He asked what was wrong and I gave my pat answer "nothing".... because I wasn't ready to talk about my conflicts.  And yet I knew I had to share with him... had to make him understand how I was feeling -- and let him help me find a solution.  BUT it was so difficult to find the right words.

When we got home Sir Steve ordered pizza for dinner ....... and out of the blue I just started talking...... I talked about how I was very proud of how hard he was working at this job... how he was climbing the ladder of success... but I asked him if he had ever thought about how -- without me - he wouldn't have been able to do this.  (this isn't just an exaggeration on my part -- without me he would have to hire a full time nanny because of his hours) I told him no one was gonna give me a pat on the back -- or give me a raise or a promotion.......... what was happening was I was turning into a 'stay at home Mom' and I left that position many many years ago.......

AND I pointed out that even financially I wasn't gaining anything....... 

His reaction surprised me to be honest.  Usually when we have one of these sorts of talks -- his response has always been "you're right..... I'll fix this"...... but then I don't really see any big changes.  This time he wrapped his arms around me and told me I was right -- he wouldn't be where he is today if it wasn't for me........ and that he DID appreciate the work I did to free him up ....... and that he loved me muchly :)


On Saturday Sir Steve took me out shopping and he bought me a new winter coat one that actually fits (I have lost so much weight since I bought my last one that it just hangs one me) and then he helped get ready for the Thanksgiving Feast.  On Sunday he told me he would put my winter tires on my car .... and got me to order the brake parts that I need and he will fix my brakes .... AND.... he took me into the bedroom on Sunday afternoon and made sweet love to me (despite suffering from his carpel tunnel and needing a nap) ...... and then took me out to dinner so I didn't have to cook!

He talked to me -- mostly about nothing --- just bantering back and forth -- we used to do that a lot and I have been missing it.   

It turned out to be a very good Thanksgiving weekend -- I think we both realized how much we have to be thankful for...........  and maybe this is a new beginning for both of us!



Life is good when you find the right words ...........

Sunday Sentiments

Non-Traditional

It's Thanksgiving weekend up here in the Great White North.

We're having a very non-traditional feast tonite....... roast beef, yorkshire pudding, and all the other trimmings.  Sort of suits us ya know -- non-traditional customs for a non-traditional couple.  We'll be celebrating with eldest daughter and son-in-law (thankfully they weren't sold on turkey either!!)  

Wishing all my Canadian readers a Happy Thanksgiving -- 

traditional or not !!

Conflicted

I am so proud of Sir Steve.  He is doing so very well at work.  He has received a raise.. and lots of praise for the job he is doing.... He received a bonus... and now he has received a promotion.

On the surface it looks pretty damn good doesn't it ??

But after the shine wore off the good news I started thinking......... who praises me for a good job?? Who gives me a raise?? Who gives me a bonus?? and there's no promotion possible in my 'job'.  And if it wasn't for the job I do....... Sir Steve wouldn't be able to give 110% at work.... leaving nothing left for us (or nearly nothing)

Am I feeling sorry for myself? Maybe.  I thought I had worked the pros and cons of starting a relationship with a man much younger than myself who comes with a small child.  Honestly I thought I had worked it all out and come into it with my eyes open.  But I missed the bit about being a stay at home Mom again....... with almost no recognition.... and always having to juggle my time to accommodate bus schedules and work schedules and ballet classes and home work.  After so many years of 'freedom' it is proving difficult 

And I feel very conflicted ....... cause I love this man and want the very best for him......and I know my being here .. my picking up all the slack... handling all the day to day problems makes it much easier for him to do what he needs to do...... 
but it's hard to go backwards ..... back to where I was 40 some odd years ago....... 

nodding

yup it's hard to go backwards

#Mybody

The lil one and I spent some time this past summer talking about 'good touch/bad touch'..... and private body parts... and what to do if something happens.  I honestly didn't think she'd need to use the information -- but I wanted her forearmed ya know.

Yesterday she came home from school with a note in her agenda from her teacher.  I read it -- T W I C E -- because I couldn't believe what I was reading.  Her (male) teacher reported that the lil one had whispered the word 'vagina' to another student.  

I looked up from reading the note and the lil one was almost in tears -- visibly stressed, pulling on her braids and fidgeting.  I did what I think any responsible adult should do.......... I asked her WHY she would talk to another student about 'vaginas'.

It took some work to get her to talk to me -- I had to be reassuring.... I had to coax... I had to use every trick in my arsenal to get her to tell me what happened...... it was very obvious to me she thought she had done something wrong... that she was in BIG trouble!!

It turns out that she and some friends had been playing -- the lil one was sitting in a plastic box.  This box had a hole in it.  One of the boys put his hand in the box and "touched my vagina".  She whispered to a friend that he had touched her vagina.

OK she did get most of it right -- but she should have told an adult.  She didn't.  BUT she did exactly what she was taught to do -- she spoke up and told someone!!  

Her teacher called her over and said he was sending a note home to her father!  He didn't ask why she had used the word... he totally missed a "teaching moment".  Not all of teaching comes in the curriculum -- some teaching happens spontaneously.  And he missed it.  Worst of all he made the lil one feel guilty -- bad -- she had done something seriously wrong if a note was going home to 'daddy'  !!!

I was livid.  I wanted to go to the school and tear this guy a new one.  
Instead I spent a goodly amount of time assuring the lil one she had NOT done something wrong (though if it ever happens again telling an adult would be better) that I was proud of her ... that her father would be proud of her.  

When Sir Steve came home I had found the teacher's email address and the principal's........ I suggested he cc the principal.  He wrote the email .......... 

This morning I prepared the lil one in case the teacher decides to talk to her..... I told her that she was to tell the story exactly the same way she told me ... I reinforced that she had done nothing wrong....... and that her teacher had goofed.  She was not to be afraid to talk to him today.  

God willing this teacher will talk to her and maybe apologize to her for not getting the whole story...... and help her to feel confident about telling him if -- god forbid -- it happens again

I am still seething this morning.   Especially considering all the current talk about believing women.......... it starts early ....... teaching girls to speak up and speak out!!! teaching girls their bodies are theirs....... and they have the right to say NO...... to call 'bad touch'  ........ to have the confidence to speak up and out.......... and to realize it is NOT their fault!!


(putting away my soap box now)