Saturday, May 31, 2014

Time Travel - Part 4

Rockwood Asylum 1878 - 1959

This building was at the bottom of my list of abandoned buildings.  An asylum!  My imagination was really working over time.  And for some reason I left it to the last visit of the day - when I was hot/tired and really needed to go pee (ok ok that was probably TMI)

I punched the address into my GPS.  It found "Gable Lane" but told me no numbers were available for that street.  Ok - no biggie - I figured a hospital should stand out on any street - right???  I followed the GPS directions round and round I went - turn left here take next left take first right.. until I had done a complete circle and was facing south towards the lake with a cross street and (what I initially thought was ) a wall in front of me.  Then I realized if I zigged when I drove across the street - then zagged I would actually land up on another street behind the wall.

I made it in one piece and drove down this long and I do mean long street with government buildings on either side of me.  Weird - I just kept thinking how weird.  I didn't see any hospital - and my GPS was still telling me to keep straight as I had not yet reached "Gable Lane" and the lake was coming up in front of me.  

Suddenly as I rounded a turn - one eye on the GPS and one eye on the road - there looming straight ahead of me was this HUGE massive foreboding building..... Rockwood Asylum.

I was itching to get out and start taking photos................ but there was no where to park and the signs around the main building clearly stipulated "no trespassing - trespassers will be prosecuted"  I drove around for a little bit (going in circles actually) While my mind played back the research I had done on this building. 

 "The institution, which was meant to rehabilitate insane inmates as well as Kingston residents labeled “mentally disturbed,” was built by the very convicts it intended to help, to save the province money on construction costs. Gangs of convicts were sent from the penitentiary to work at the site on a daily basis. The inmates lived in the basement of the penitentiary dining hall until work on the asylum was complete and they could be relocated. The women were housed in the stables "

 On the right of the circular drive were some "out buildings" that did not have the fencing or warnings.  I pulled the car onto a grassy patch and got out with my camera. 

And then I worked my way back to the main road and my car and took one last shot of the main buildings.............

More history flooded back as I studied the many windows and my imagination saw the interior some 136 years ago...... 

" Bedrooms measured 3 by 3 meters, large enough for a single bed and wardrobe. Room doors included a wicket for the transfer of food, and wide hallways were meant to be social areas for patients. McKendry said every aspect of the building is designed with a specific purpose, including its location—as far away from the street as possible. “The facility sits far into the grounds, and the designers said it was because they didn’t want the patients to be scared or disturbed looking out at people in the city,” she said. “But really, ordinary folk wanted to be as far away from these ‘deviants’ as possible. 

The facility was run by Dr John Litchfield who relied on large amounts of alcohol by day and sedatives at night to control the patients. The patients were subjected to inhumane treatments including bloodletting, enemas, blistering and leaching.  

Women were admitted for such "offenses" as postpartum depression and promiscuous behaviours"

Apparently the hospital is haunted - what I wouldn't give to be able to roam the hallways - listen for the moans - the clanking of doors - the rattling of keys................

Friday, May 30, 2014

Time Travel - Part 3

On my trusty list of abandoned buildings - I had 3 houses.  I was really looking forward to the houses.  There is something about old / abandoned houses that gets my imagination going.

When I got to the first address - nothing - just a hill of weeds.  Obviously it had been demolished.

On to the second address.  Nothing.  And when I say nothing I mean NOTHING!  no empty lot - no pile of ruble - nothing...... Obviously someone must have torn it down and rebuilt.  (I came to that conclusion after going round the block a couple of times thinking I had some how missed it)

By now my hopes of finding an abandoned house were all but gone.  I went on to the 3rd address with little hope of finding anything.  I drove down the street - eyes peeled for a run down house. Nothing.  Again.

I turned around and cruised slowly down the street again.  This time I spotted a gravel driveway (believe me I am using that term VERY loosely) between some very overgrown hedges.  I turned around and went back again - much slower this time.

When I reached the driveway I slowed to a near stop ... do I ?? don't I??? I swung the wheel and edged onto the driveway - which dropped down almost immediately - but opened into a large green space at the bottom of the hill.  

I inched my way down the driveway praying I didn't tear the underneath side of the car off.  When I got to the green space I turned the car around so it was now facing up the driveway (in case I needed a quick get away)

I still hadn't seen any house though.  I did spot a "For Lease" sign so I figured I wasn't exactly trespassing.  But I will admit to worrying a teeny tiny bit that neither my car nor I could be seen from the street.

I got out of the car with camera in hand and walked a few feet further in....... and lo and behold hidden behind some overgrown bushes and trees was this house.......

 day 20 of 365

I started shooting - barely worrying about focus or settings - it was just plain eery.   
I walked around the back of the house to be faced with "forest"  and a pathway that I was pretty sure led to Lake Ontario.  

I headed down the path........... 
now when I say "path" don't picture a nice groomed pathway - nope no way.  It was more a trampled down path with branches at face level.  I worked my way further down the path - hoping to suddenly come upon the Lake.  But this path just seemed to twist and turn.  

AND then I heard some male voices.  Honest to god my heart nearly jumped out of my chest!!  Every single episode of every single police/mystery/scary show flashed through my brain.  I turned around and beat it like a bat out of hell back up to the abandoned house.  

I took a couple more shots then decided not to push my luck.  It was time to get the show on the road and return to civilization again    

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Time Travel Part 2

Ever since I moved here to Kingston - when we are on the East side - I have seen  this - for lack of a better term  - a grain silo against the city back drop.  W and I were out looking for some car wash place he wanted to investigate a week or so ago and we drove right past this grain silo thingy.  Only thing is it wasn't a grain silo - but a Farm Feed Depot.  AND best of all - it was all boarded up.

So that was my second photo shoot on Monday.  (day 19 of 365)

When I drove up I was very disappointed to see it had a brand new chain link fence around the front of it.  I did a mental shrug, got out of the car - and decided to shoot what I could.

The one thing I learned in my photograph class was to ALWAYS walk around your subject - taking pictures from every angle - cause ya just never know............ 

So I started my "hike" around the fence - snapping a picture here and a picture there.  When I got around to the back side of the depot - lo and behold - someone had ripped the entire chain link fence down!!  I was able to get in.  I will admit the heart was pounding slightly as I was now officially trespassing - first   time EVER!!

As I got closer to the building I saw that a couple of doors had been ripped open and some boards pulled off windows.  YAY!  I was actually going to be able to get into the building........ see the insides - take pictures of the insides

I casually took pictures (playing it cool in case some unknown someone was watching me) as I worked my way over to the open door........... 

As I approached the door and peered in - I remembered the advise a photographer had given me about deserted building photo shoots - NEVER  GO ALONE.  yeah well it was just me, myself and I - I mean how many people do you know want to go trekking around dirty old buildings??? 

I stuck my head in.  It was dark and gloomy.  I moved onto the landing of the stairs leading down into the bowels of the building.  And right then it hit me - the STENCH,  It smelled like rotting decaying........something.  It made me gag.  I totally lost my resolve to explore the interior of the building.  (didn't take much did it??)  I pulled back thrust my camera in and snapped a picture of the interior - that's as good as it got................

Then I moved around to the side of the building and took some more pictures while I took deep breathes of the fresh air and waited for my heart to stop pounding. (Maybe I am not cut out to shoot abandoned buildings?)  


And  that was it for the Farm Feed Depot.  I walked back to my car.  Ready to move on to the next adventure................. 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Time Travel

Just a little back story - something you may not know about me.  When I was in university I minored in history.  I LOVED history and if I could have found some career that allowed me to research and revel in history I think I would have done it.  As fate would have it, it has become just a hobby of mine.......... a passion.

One of the photo projects I have had rolling around in the back of my mind is the "disappearing history"  - buildings that are slowly turning to dust that hold stories of our history,

 On Monday when I went off on my day long photo shoot - I took with me a list of addresses/co-ordinates of abandoned buildings.  I was well aware that I was - in some ways - going to break the law.... trespassing for sure - and maybe (depending on the definition of the law) breaking and entering.  I was nervous (I am not much one for breaking laws or rocking the boat) but I pushed ahead.   I wasn't going to get any pictures of our disappearing history if I didn't wiggle around the law a little bit.

I have divided my shoot on Monday into two distinct categories -   1) industrial and 2) residential.  And will share the pictures with you over the next few days.

Day 18 of 365

The first stop I headed for was supposed to have 2 warehouses to shoot - there was supposed to be an old ice house behind another warehouse ............ only thing was, I discovered the ice house had been renovated and refurbished and is now making the bags of ice we buy for camping trips and parties and various other affairs.....

that left this building - I couldn't find any recordable history and I was pleased for my first shoot of the day I would not have to trespass or violate any laws... the building was right on the street - boarded up - but no fencing around it.

The shoot was off to a good start

Tuesday, May 27, 2014


W went to Montreal for the day yesterday and I decided I was not going to lock myself up in the house and do chores.  

I loaded up the car with camera equipment and - believe it or not - a list of abandoned buildings in and around Kingston and headed off.

Now you have to understand how much gumption that took.  I have wanted to do this but have been nervous about trespassing on other people's property.  BUT for whatever reason I decided to test the waters (and my nerves)

I had an amazing day!!  Lots of fun and loads of pictures (not of them all good but that's another story) 

I have enough stories to tell for a least a week full of blogs........... but unfortunately this morning I am rushing as I have to have my car at the garage in under an hour....... but I promise lots of stories for the rest of the week

BUT - day 17 of the 365 is special!!  I got to cross one more thing off my "bucket list" 

It wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be - based on all the tv characters who sit around perched on desks eating food from cardboard boxes - BUT HEY!! - it was on my bucket list and it is now done!

Monday, May 26, 2014

Play Time

And it was really like a play time......... the paddles came out - the whips came out - the canes came out.. I held my breathe - it had been 5 months since we played with any real 'feeling' 

I am always amazed (maybe a little amused too) at how something like a whip can be used so sensuously and then in a blink of an eye - a twist of the wrist it can cut into me - leaving me feeling as through the skin has been sliced from my body.

There is the rabbit fur glove - it looks so sensuous - so soft - so gentle.  I feel it brushing against the hot cane welts and I melt - absolutely melt.  Then - just when I am completely pulled into the softness - W uncurls his fingers and the sharp pointed metal claws bite into the welts, into the skin and my mind whirls and twists and I can hear myself moaning.  It hurts.  BIG TIME hurt............ and I love it.

The marks are temporary much to W's chagrin.  He works so hard to create them and in no time at all they fade............... 


Saturday, May 24, 2014

Let's Go!!

Yesterday morning W and I had a talk........ He was able to explain to me what had been said at the doctor's after the word "cancer".  I also had a number of people step forward with comments about the good/great post - kaya had probably the best advice - "eat a donut" - so I did..... 

Around mid afternoon I "suggested" to W that perhaps this weekend we could find some toys and make some noise................ I have been holding my breathe for 5 months - since Jan 7th. now it is time to live again - no???

So yesterday I made a list of possible abandoned buildings.  I researched the legalities of traipsing through someone's abandoned building.  I HAVE to make up some business cards listing myself as an amateur photographer - just in case.  

Now I am ready (well I think I am ready) to go urban exploring and photographing.  (maybe ready cause I get HUGE butterflies about breaking the law and trespassing - but if I am gonna shoot the shots I really want to - gotta take a risk or two)

I am hoping to get a start on this project come Monday (if the weather cooperates) while W is off in Montreal.  

For today I am gonna drag out the toys and dust them off - and hope we make some noise ..................... 

 Day 16

This tree is in our front yard.  It's branches are absolutely laden with buds.......... I remember last year being stunned by the beauty of the tree in full bloom...... 

 up close and personal with the buds.........

Friday, May 23, 2014

Good/Great News??

I have been trying to work out in my head what happened yesterday.  You see when the doctor came in - he said "good news"  good news to me is benign.  

BUT then he started sketching the four different cancers that occur in the bladder and dividing them in to groups ........... and he started with the last 2 first - saying these involve removing the bladder.  Then there was one in the middle of the drawing and he said "this one is the most difficult to decide what to do" and then he pointed to the last one (which really was the first one) and said "this one - like the last two - are easy to decide what path to follow - we watch and see".  (and all the while I am thinking what has this got to do with me - I have good news)

And he talked more - lots more - but my brain was still dealing with 'good news you have cancer'.....  Not 'good news it is benign'.  I honestly don't think I heard anything else he said............... I MUST have missed some secret decoded message......... cause W thought it was great news... everyone we have told thought it was good/great news and my brain is still going round and round saying "CANCER is NOT good/great news"  

I feel stupid??? confused??? definitely like I am missing something here....... and I can't figure out what it is..... 

And then some dipstick (a friend from Montreal) made a crack on Fetlife saying "hey if you have bladder problems I am quite a connoisseur of diapers I can help."  And I lost it on him... told him if he was trying to be funny he wasn't even close - if he was being serious he was insensitive - in fact the whole comment was totally insensitive,.

Then I turned my computer off.

I am still trying to work out how this is good/great news - I don't understand why everyone else sees this as good/great while I keep thinking i have cancer..........


Day 15 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Evening Out - addendum

 Just got back from the urologist's - the pathology report - cancer - stage 1 low grade - I will be having cystos every 3 months....... but no chemo or radiation needed


The one thing Kingston does have a lot of - is munches.  Last night W and I went to a downtown Kingston munch.  We had hummed and hawed about going but in the end we went.

It was a small group - very small - the food was good - and the evening was short.  As we were leaving firetrucks screamed past us.  W looked at me and asked if I wanted to go to a fire (man after my own heart!!)

By the time we got down to the bottom of the street (cause the fire was at the bottom of the street)  it was all but out............

BUT there were still firemen and firetrucks and some smoke.............. and me without my camera!!!   I did however have my cell phone and used it as my back up camera - not nearly as good and very frustrating for me... but still I managed to snap a couple of pics which means I will be able to add to my 365 project..................

Day 14


 As we were leaving I hugged W and said he always found the most interesting adventures for me (cheeky grin)

Today - for anyone keeping track - I am off to the urologist's to get the pathology report... my mantra is "breathe........ breathe...... breathe". 

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Out of Practice

I have been feeling like I am out of practice - maybe W feels out of practice too I honestly don't know....

I feel like I have forgotten how to be a submissive - 
I feel like I have forgotten spankings
I feel like I have forgotten orgasms
I feel like I have forgotten the total surrender that comes from the above...

This morning - being the brat I can be - I wiped my soaking wet hands on W's face - saying - oh so very sweetly - "I love my Sir".  He turned around with that look....... THAT look - opened the utensil drawer - found the BIG spoon - turned me around - pulled up my nightie and whalloped my ass until I was doing the subbie jig - crying out - complaining - and laughing - saying " I had forgotten how much it hurts!!  I am out of practice!!"

I went on Fetlife - and saw a picture of myself - sitting in the backyard under my red umbrella - and I was flashing W..... he had taken a pic and posted it on FL.  When I saw it - I felt my face go red - and redder still when I read the comments - especially when i read Dr Suck's comment "I know those!!"  and all the memories of naked days at camp came flooding back.

I am out of practice .......... totally............. it has been almost 5 months of detouring and I am ready to find my way back to the Journey we had planned....... more than ready.

Tomorrow I see the urologist - I get the pathology report - and I hope I get an ok to return to a more normal life............. (even if that normal life involves chemo - or some such follow up)  I NEED my normal life - NOW

But first I think I need some practice,

Tuesday, May 20, 2014


I have so many ideas for a blog today - clamoring ideas yelling "pick me pick me"..... I want to write about "friends" - supposed friends - definition of friends - but I want to write about W and me - and this feeling I have that things may be getting back on track...... and I want to write about yesterday - at Lake Ontario Park for Victoria Day and freezing our asses off as we waited 2 hours down by the lake for the start of the fireworks (my bright idea!) - and I want to talk about Bruce - the service dog I met - and how he made me laugh......... 

So many ideas....................

Victoria Day wins I think ........... (and consider all pictures here - day 13 of 365)

The city planned this celebration for our Victoria Day weekend - Victoria being the Queen of England from June 1837 until her death in January 1901.  I have no idea why we picked her to celebrate - why not just have one day to celebrate all the monarchs who have ruled over Canada - much like the Americans do with their "President's day" (shrug) but whatever the reason we have the 3rd weekend in May as a long weekend in her honour.  When I was teaching it was the last bit of a holiday before the summer break - 6 more long weeks of school.

Anyway getting back to yesterday.............. I really wanted to go...... mostly cause I wanted to take pictures of the fireworks - or try to.  W - I think would have been happier vegging out in the family room.  So we compromised............ we waited till dinner time to go.  My logic was all the families who had been there for the afternoon activities would probably go home for dinner and a bit of a rest before coming back for the fireworks - and that would possibly get us a parking space in the main lot.

So we went at 5:30 and lo and behold got us a parking spot right at the gate - which meant we could leave our chairs and camera paraphernalia in the car (well mine anyway)

Dinner was my treat - from a food truck - yeah for hotdogs............. 

and ice cream from another food truck for dessert................

I met up with Bruce - the service dog right after dinner.  I wanted a picture and his owner was quite obliging.  I then got huge butterflies and nerves as I am not particularly good at taking portraits.  AND I had promised to send his handler copies of the pics.. 

At one point his owner dropped the leash so she could move her wheel chair out of the pic - but Bruce wasn't having any of that!!!  He picked his leash up and gave it right back to her ...... well trained service dog.  Despite everything, I did manage to get a decent portrait of Bruce.................


W and I decided to stake out our seats for the fireworks early - like 2 hours early!!!  We ate our ice cream (we should have opted for hot coffee!!) and watched the sights ... while we impatiently counted down the 120 minutes.............. 120 minutes absolutely DRAG when the temperature is dropping faster than the minutes are ticking.  (note to self - time to buy a warm blanket for cold nights by the lake)

And then finally - 

What a great evening it was!!!  Of course parking by the main gate meant it took us longer to get out of the park than the fireworks took - but it was well worth it!!

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