Thursday, December 31, 2009

SURPRISE !!


Surprise !!

i bet you all didn't expect to see a post from me today did you???

surprise surprise surprise !!

i just popped on to say......... i am fed up with all the Christmas decorations now... anyone else feel that way??? i am so DONE with the holidays....

Come this weekend........All the Christmas decorations on The Journey are coming down.......... and i am going back to the every day look around here..........

Come Monday all the decorations in the condo will be down and tidied up............

i so look forward to the holiday season... to the lights, the decorations, the music..... BUT .. by December 31st i am SO done with it all... done as dinner.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My bags are packed....... i'm ready to go..




Anyone even know that song??? (shrug oh well it's just one more thing that shows my age)

My bags aren't packed - yet !! But they will be by early afternoon. i am off to Sir's for the next few days. Well that isn't exactly true either.... i am off to Sir's and then tomorrow we are off to the States to bring in the New Year with our American friends......... i am sorta excited about it.. and sorted stressed about it.

They have a beautiful home - a castle of sorts - at the top of a mountain. (seems to me all our American friends live out in the country on the top of mountains - which is great for privacy !!! BUT oh my god !! the narrow winding roads to the top are hair raising in the summer........... what are they going to be like in the winter??!!)

But we were invited to their "Spank in the New Year" party and ya all know we couldn't resist the invitation!! Spanking in the New Year sounds so much better - honestly - than counting down the seconds with the TV.. and the ball in Times Square!! And it sure beats past years where Sir and i hosted a BDSM Open House on New Year's day.......... which involved a whole mess of cooking and organising and preparations........ and a house full of people!! And days of cleaning up afterward....... and truthfully hardly a spank at all for poor lil me........... so yeah i am up for this party !!

Now i am wondering......... seeing as i have never been to a "Spank in the New Year" event.......... do we subbies get spanked for 10 seconds?? or do we get spanked 2010 times to celebrate the start of a new year?? OR is the challenge to squeeze in 2010 spanks in 10 seconds ?? (can i just skip that challenge??)

AND i will take a page out of our friend's party book............ from now on hold pot luck parties !! Don't try and feed the masses by yourself. i have enough leftovers from the holidays that i am taking a sweet tray and a hot crab dip. For you foodies out there....... no pictures i am sorry..... everything is packaged up for travel - not exactly picture taking qualities.

You all play nice now..........

See you all in the New Year !!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Scarlet Letter

When i was growing up i read a book entitled the Scarlet Letter. The Scarlet Letter was an "A" which stood for adulteress. Now to be perfectly truthful with you all, i don't much remember what the plot of the story was....... just that there was a woman who was an adulteress and she was forced to wear a scarlet A on her clothing so everyone knew.

There was something about the shame of that letter that stuck with me. i never EVER wanted to be branded with a scarlet letter. That and my upbringing probably went a long way in keeping me honest............


Now i don't know if it is the season .. or something in the water.. or something in the air.......... but there is a whole lot of talk going on (in blogs and lists) about playing outside of your primary relationship. And i am watching with some interest the reactions of both sexes. i have noticed that more men seem to endorse the playing on the side......... and more than a few woman are struggling with the idea.

What some of you don't know......... is that way back when....... i too considered myself the "other woman" in my relationship with Sir. You see...... He was already in a relationship when we met........ and when we first started to play. That relationship was not a D/s relationship........ but more a bondage / girlfriend/boyfriend sort of relationship. i was ........ at the time....... identifying (for lack of a better term and because the whole story is best saved for another day) as a lesbian. So you see.......... when Sir offered to teach me about bondage..... and D/s neither of us.. or i should say - NONE of us - expected anything in the way of a long term relationship developing.

However, as time went on, i looked at it as having the best of both worlds. You see Sir's partner at the time was Domme and from time to time she would dominate me (mostly at play parties and with some trepidation - but still she did dominate me ) i kept thinking how much fun it could be having two Masters (so to speak ) to serve.

But that's not how it turned out. When i realized i was having very serious feelings for Sir......... i didn't keep it to myself. i went to the Domme and told Her. (see that's where the honesty bit comes into play) She and i had many long talks....... and suffice it to say for now.......... i had her blessing to pursue my desire to be collared by Sir.

BUT there were times when i wanted to crawl into a hole and pull the top in over me. Times when i felt so ashamed of my feelings for Sir that i thought i should pack it all in and walk away. But something stopped me. And well.. here we are some 8+ years later........ and i have to say i am very glad i didn't walk away. (though in all honesty - the relationship between Sir and Her didn't end exactly the way i foresaw it ending........... there were hurt feelings - and truthfully that is something i have to live with )

There is something i took away from that period of my life.......... besides the feeling guilty about their break up. And this may sound just a tad twisted........ but i don't trust any submissive/slave who "just" wants to play with my Sir...... nope no way no how!!

i especially don't trust the ones who think - for some reason - that is OK to play without even a "by your leave" to me. And you know what?? i wouldn't want to play with a dominant who was married - or in a committed relationship who had to hide me from the world. THAT spells Scarlet Letter to me.

i am sick to death hearing about the "feelings" and not being able to deny them any longer. i am sick to death of hearing how it is only "play" and not serious. (ok ok sometimes it is just play - every now and then - at a party - i am not talking about that...... i am talking about the "i want to kneel at your feet and kiss your boots and give you my all" type of relationship)

i don't understand how hiding in the shadows is fulfilling to either party. Especially at holiday time - when everyone is with loved ones - except for the Scarlet A - hidden away - waiting for the holidays to be over so they can be together again - stolen moments in a lifetime. i really do struggle with how one rationalizes it all........ to themselves.

i may not be proud of moments in the beginning with Sir....... but i am very proud that i never hid in the shadows, that i was open and honest with everyone - including my family. i never wore the Scarlet A and never will. Life is too precious to spend it waiting in the shadows.

Monday, December 28, 2009

BDSM - finally !!


It would seem that the last 28 days have been filled with vanilla activities....except for a little tease (over on Sir's blog) of a spanking with His new paddle the other day...



So i decided ....even though i wanted to show you pictures and more pictures ( ad nauseam ) of Christmas up here in the Great White North.... that it was time to do a post on the BDSM side of Christmas.

On Saturday (well i think it was Saturday - my days are all mixed up) Sir ordered me down to the play room for a full on session. Do you have any idea how long it has been since i have been taken down to the play room???

i didn't drag my heels .. or whine.. nothing like that.. but inside i was a total mess... a whining, stressing, worrying mess. Why?? because it has been so long.... and to be in the play room means all the toys will be probably be used.. from soft floggers to knotted rope floggers, to paddles, to quirts, to whips. The whole shooting match.

But i was good.. i put my hands up to allow Sir to buckle me into the suspension cuffs, i even stood quietly as He hooked them up high to the chains in the ceiling. i clenched my teeth and thought.. "right! let's get this over with".

But Sir was nice to me... in a Sir way. He started off with the soft kid leather flogger.. and actually (sort of) warmed me up before He moved along to the leather flogger and then the knotted rope flogger..... and my mind was tripping all over the place... it was very difficult to find that one spot to focus on... to catch my breathing and slow it down........ to ride the pain instead of fighting it. It had been so long you see.......... the spankings/floggings over the ottoman in the living room are becoming easy to endure (yes endure - i never seem to really fly ) and i was totally completely out of practice with the whole focus breathing thing..........

i was doing the subbie dance... and yelping occasionally...... Sir asked me why i was always saying "OUCH"........ in that cheeky way He has....... and i said "FINE! i will give You more varied adjectives!!" And the four letter words started streaming from me............... and Sir laughed.. and just hit harder.

Then i smelled something.. i sniffed.. and tried to identify what the scent was... it took me a while..... in fact i don't think i fully identified the smell until i realized my juices were flowing freely down my legs....... and then i knew....... that musky smell was ME......... aroused and loving every minute of this time in the play room.

No need to worry about breathing anymore.. or focusing.. my body just took over..
It was sorta like Sir said (at the beginning i think - when i tried to explain to Him i was a little bit scared.. and most definitely out of practice) "it's like riding a bicycle - you never forget how"

And we have a little ritual - something i have done since the very beginning - after a session i get down on all 4's and move to Sir's feet and thank Him - sometimes if it hasn't gone well - i think how ludicrous it is to be thanking Him for causing me pain.......... but on days like Saturday......... the emotions are so thick i can barely say the words........... because i do indeed thank Him with all my being.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Toys toys and more toys....

Christmas is always celebrated here at the condo on the 24th.... Personally i think it was a HUGE success !!

Youngest daughter landed up laughing and crying over the printer we bought for them....

Eldest daughter and son-in-law enjoyed their gift for their "new baby" - Spike - the combination golden/boxer they got in the fall.......



The eldest grandson was excited with the old fashioned hockey bank complete with money to buy a game for his DS...... youngest was thrilled with the bucket of old fashioned blocks to build castles with.........



Baby Jordan found the whole thing boring ..... and spent his day eating, crying and sleeping.

BUT the very best reaction was Sir............ i gave Him (His vanilla gift) a remote controlled helicopter. Christmas Eve - after dinner was done - Sir and the other "men" worked on learning the basics of flight.......... even my male cat got into the spirit of things...........



As little Tim said....... "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night"



The 25th was our traditional BDSM Christmas ...... i (cause i am a stupid stupid subbie ) gave Sir more Christmas clothes pegs...



And the mystery box .. that took the long way round to get here...... was a huge hit ... it was a leather paddle with a blue rose worked into the leather..... (hard to explain) BUT if you want to see the paddle ... in action even...... check out Sir's blog here

Today is deemed a quiet snuggle up day......... the fire is laid in the fireplace.. the leftover turkey and trimmings are on the menu....... the snow is moving in..... it is a wonderful time of the year !!!


Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas......




It's magic and memories
Wonders and wishes
And when it touches your heart
It feels like Christmas

Wishing each and every one of you
The Magic of Christmas!




Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve

Well as you are reading this....... my family is gathered around the table....... which is groaning under the weight of the turkey, the ham, the veggies, the potatoes, the drinks, and the rafters are resounding with Christmas carols, laughter and family memories.

But as promised ............ a post ...... from the Great White North

If you check the Photo Journal today you will see some Christmas pictures .......... i hope you enjoy................



And just a little Christmas laugh - for all of you stressing over getting everything finished by tomorrow............









Wednesday, December 23, 2009

More Christmas Carols........

Another special Christmas Carol for your singing pleasure...........


i am off to make dressing for the turkey, wrap last minute gifts... organize the house for the arrival of the kids and grandkids for Christmas dinner tomorrow...... Yes tomorrow......... we celebrate on the 24th to give the kids a chance to spend the 25th with the rest of their families.......

But don't think i won't be around..... i have a few blog entries cued up and ready to go!!

Enjoy !!!

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?
(sung to the tune of "Do You Hear What I hear?")
(author unknown)

Do you hear what I hear?
Said the Mistress to her little slave,
Do you see what I see?
Across the room little slave,
A chain, A chain, swinging with delight,
With room enough to swing a whip,
With room enough to swing a whip.

Said the little slave to the Mistress Ma'am,
Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the dungeon Mistress, Ma'am?
Do you hear what i hear?
A cry a scream of joy from deep within
Behind a wall which we can not see
Behind a wall which we can not see.

Said the Mistress to the nearest Dom,
Do you know what I know?
In this dungeon so dark, my old friend
Do you know what I know?
This slut, this slut serving us so true
Let's make her ass black and blue
Let's make her ass black and blue.

Said the nearest Dom to the Mistress Ma'am,
Listen to what I say,
Play your slaves, Dominants everywhere
Listen to what I say
The screams of pleasure filling up the night
They bring us joy and pleasure so right
They bring us joy and pleasure so right.




Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Presents??

Christmas presents come in all shapes and sizes .... some we love and some.. well thank goodness for "re-gifting" .......

A huge number of people received a "Christmas Present" from the school board this morning...... a huge lump of coal. They are closing my school. Yeah .. after only 4 months of working my buns off to bring their programs up to norm....... and shooting for beyond........ we were all told this morning that come June 2010 .. 6 months from now .. they will divide up our kids.. send them in all different directions to all different schools.

Why are they doing this?? Well for some reason they are going to close down another school and move them lock stock and barrel into our school. And our staff and kids........ gone.

i have a theory....... our school is a poor school...... and most of the time the Board has to step in and bail them out. And yes i get that this may be a financially sound move... splitting up a community that can't/won't pay their bills and disperse them .... cause the other schools/communities will absorb their debts and the Board won't have to pay out so much every year.

But what i don't get ........ i have been working hard.. hounding i guess some would say.... and explaining to these families why they must pay something .. no matter how small an amount towards their bills. i explain over and over again how the money is going back to their children.. to the programs that keep their children safe and happy and challenged. Four long months of hounding.

Yesterday i did the accounting.. one month ago one of the programs was in the red by over $14,000...., yesterday that same program was just over $9,000 in the red. The other program was just over $29,000 in the red..... yesterday?? $10,000.

Now if i can do that...... why can't they all work towards taking the school out of debt.. why isn't time being invested in explaining to the families.., some who are unschooled.. and don't read or write English.... first generation Canadians.. proud people who just need to understand. It just doesn't make sense to me.....

This morning the head of our sector came to the school to speak to the staff.. to calm them down.. (in my mind to keep them away from the media who showed up an hour later) ......... i spoke to this woman after the meeting... she was very flattering about how much the Board respects my talents and how i need not worry about having a job next year........... (shaking head) BUT what about all the other women who work for me.. who have balked and then accepted my philosophy of kids come first .. and kids are people too...... and have been working harder then they ever have..... what about them??? 14 of them will be without work come September....... and that just doesn't seem right to me!!!!

The Board gave us a lump of coal......... and it makes me very sad... very frustrated.. and just a little bit angry...............


On a happier more Christmasy note...........

Remember i wrote a few days ago about how Sir's gift .. Sir's special gift.... was lost.. and i was fussing cause i wouldn't have the special gift for Him?? Remember how i said Sir suggested i pop a message in the mail box of the house that WAS receiving the boxes??

Last night... just after dinner.. my phone rang .. and this woman asked if i was the recipient of the mystery box. i said "yes" She said "Well I have it and you are welcome to come and pick it up"

Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus.. and sometimes they come in the shape of friendly neighbours

For those of you curious about what Sir is getting this year...... well i guess you will just have to wait until the 25th ..... i have a sneaking suspicion Sir will be posting to His blog..............

Monday, December 21, 2009

Holier than thou

This is most definitely a grump................ a rant.... a release.............

i have this "thing" about goodie two shoes......... you know what i mean - the ones who wouldn't say shit if they stepped in it... who have this "holier than thou" attitude......... who have put themselves so high up on the pedestal of life that we mere mortals can barely see them....... never mind converse with them.

They are the world's best slave........ best at everything....... on line. Take it to real life and oh my god !!! They can't do this because well it might break a nail........or they can't do that because .. well.. ya know .. they had a rough life and it scares them......... and they most certainly can't do THAT because wellllllllll it just isn't right.

Or the ones who are so timid they are scared of their shadow............ run from any suggestion of something difficult.............. BUT oh they are quick to criticize if they see someone else doing something that doesn't fit into their mold of what's right or not!!

BAH HUMBUG on the lot of them !!!

i am sick to death of being held up to inspection by newbies and wannabes.......

i am sick to death of being accused of "topping from the bottom" (though the wonderfully good lil slaves call it dominanting)

i am sick of being tsked tsked and of my Sir being tsked tsked (though i am sure He doesn't see it that way!) by well meaning .. stick your nose into everything - types.

And so i will say it again........... for the umpteenth time !!!

Sir and i are who we are !! We are Sir and sub. We may not do it your way (god forbid) but we do IT ! day and night 24/7 ..... together or not together.

i do not play poor me ever !! i do not imply at every turn that i deserve a punishment in that cutsey lil girl voice that decalcifies one's spine at 30 paces .......... i do not brag about how many punishments i have coming - cause you see - i have this strange habit of wanting to please....... and so i don't earn punishments....... i earn rewards !!

i am real....... stick a knife in me i bleed..... say cruel hurtful things i bleed....... and one other funny thing about me... when you do that to me....... i don't wanna be your friend.......... geeeeee i wonder why !!

putting my soap box away for now............ i feel so much better !!!

Yeah... in every way........ the bug has retreated to no voice - a cough and runny nose.. but i am up and even managed to get to work today. The kiddies love that i have very little voice........ gonna be a wild run for the next day and a half.....

The gifts are wrapped....... the baking done........ the fire is laid out in the fireplace.... and i can coast (nah nah to all you last minute procrastinators) to Christmas with a smile on my face and a Christmas carol on my lips..........

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Bugs

Tis the season............ of bugs and more bugs.... the school is full of them....

AND the bug fairy managed to drop in for a visit .......

So instead of being over at Sir's getting my ass whooped (well a girl can dream can't she??) i am snuggled under the blankets with a therometer in my mouth.. (and no comments from the peanut gallery about where the therometer COULD be)... tylenol, kleenix, juice at the ready.

Mind you i am feeling much better than last night..thank goodness the presents are wrapped and the baking done...... just the silver to clean and Sir says if it doesn't get done - we'll use the kitchen stuff.............

Joy to the World - said very tongue in cheek

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Piles and Piles.......

i have been trying - these last couple of days - to get some wrapping done. Sir and i have been shopping for months (well it feels like months!!) and all the gifts got stored in the guest room/library/gift storage room.

Now they are all in my office............ and indeed they look a bit like the picture i posted above........... honestly i do not remember buying that many gifts... but then there are daughters and daughters' husbands and grandbabies and dogs and staff..

i should be content that the shopping is done.. and the wrapping is underway........ but i am not.

There is one gift missing.

Sir's gift.

i can hear you all asking WHY??

Because i had this perfect idea........... this amazing idea....... this absolutely the best gift ever idea. It meant i had to order from a company in the states (ya all know i am not going to say what company - EVER! and i am not gonna say what i ordered - cause for now hope springs eternal)

Ok ok let me explain. i placed the order back in November...... NOVEMBER!! and it was shipped in November..... NOVEMBER!!!

But it never arrived.

i wrote and told them this. They said be patient - it is Christmas and perhaps the mail is slow.

i waited another two weeks. It didn't arrive. So i wrote them again. They agreed (after many emails - and much foot stamping on my part) to reship. This time i told them to ship it with tracking AND a signature required (who ships anything these days without that??!!) i would pay the added expense.

So they shipped it..... again. AND to their credit (it IS Christmas and i AM trying to be charitable) they sent me pictures of the tracking paper....... the box addressed.... and the gift.

i opened the first picture to see the wrapped box.......... i opened the second picture of the tracking paper ......... and then i noticed it........ they had reversed the numbers in my address !!! (can i say dyslexic??) i emailed them immediately!! They told me to go find the house with the reversed numbers and ask them to watch for my package.

Now i am not the sort of person who goes up to a complete stranger's house and ring the bell and ask them to watch for MY parcel.

i stewed..

i stressed...

i even shed a tear or two........

Then i told Sir.......... well i didn't tell Him important details like the name of the company or what i had ordered.. but i did tell Him about the mix up......... and like always He had a BRILLIANT idea...... write a note explaining the problem .. put my phone number in it and pop it in their mail box.

So today........ with temperatures at - 29 degrees (that's Celsius) i walked around the neighbourhood trying to find the address - cause dontcha know google maps had it all mixed up !! i finally found the house - believe it or not - a stone's throw away (the numbers here are all mixed up and don't seem to go in sequence!!)

Now i sit and wait....... and hope...............

If any of you out there in blog land believe in Christmas fairies and Christmas good will......... send out some positive energy will ya please?? Cause i really really want Sir's gift to arrive safe and sound !!


oh and i have added one picture .. this one's for Sir.........

and for those of you who actually pay attention.... yes i know the Christmas tree is gone...... apparently i could only use it for a certain number of days then they want me to upgrade to "premium" ..... yay right .. like that's gonna happen !! so no more sparkly Christmas tree...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sing Along.........




Whipping Wonderland
sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland

Slave bells ring, are you listening??
Through the pain, their eyes are glistening.
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a whipping wonderland.

Gone away is their freedom
Here to stay is their service
You hear a good song, You're whip is quite long
Walking in a whipping wonderland.

In the dungeon you will see a chained man,
And you know he needs a beating down
You'll say "are you ready"
He'll say "yes Ma'am"
So, you'll grab your whip and go to town

Later on, You'll perspire
As You set her ass on fire,
That sound ya heard
Was not a safe word
Walking in a whipping wonderland.

Hear their screams, Aren't they thrilling?
In your ears they are filling
We'll frolic and play
The S&M way
Walking in a whipping wonderland!!


Ok i admit it.. honestly didn't have much to say today........ and then i remembered a few years back (actually more than a few) hunting down and finding BDSM Christmas songs for a munch Sir and i were going to...... and decided for today anyway i would share one of the favourites !!

All together now................. "Slave bells ring - are you listening??"



Monday, December 14, 2009

Holidailies

It's funny how things happen............

Last year i posted to holidailies and felt like i was writing dirty stories in some Christian magazine. So i decided no more posting to holidailies........... it was embarrassing...... in fact i dropped out after a couple of weeks .. it made me feel that squirmy.

This year....... i am writing sugar and spice and all things nice........ what's up with that??????

i guess some of the reason is that there isn't a whole lot of anything "dirty" going on around here......... ohhhhhhhh on Friday night... Sir used His Christmas clothes pegs - the wee tiny ones that hurt like hell - santas and snowflakes...... quite pretty ..... except i wasn't shaved and didn't want any pictures of my hairy cunt. And on Sunday Sir shaved me.......... which i love right up to the point that He liberally spreads on the Gold Bond Super Duper Medicated powder......... His favourite method is to spread it liberally into my pussy........ now that burns cold........ know what i mean?? so hot it feels cold?? AND going pee afterwards usually sets up a whole new sensation of burning............... BUT i admit it.. no more razor burn or itchy scratchy rash.

i think in past years i tried too hard to have "dirty" lil things to write about.. i stressed over it..which made Sir stress.......... round and round we go..........

This year i realize Christmas is a mostly vanilla time......... between friends and family there just isn't a whole lot of time or energy leftover for spankings and whoopings... needles and wax. And i am hoping this revelation will make Christmas a whole lot less stressful and whole lot more enjoyable.

Sugar and spice and all things nice are good too !!



i haven't forgotten about the adding bits of Christmas to my blog either........ just slowed it down some as my blog is running out of room........ so many pictures so little space !!! i have added a new bit of Christmas today............ a cheeky Santa pic one might say............ Can you find it??

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Tree Day

Well yesterday was the big ...long awaited... decorate the tree day at granny and Gramp's!!!

Now i am nothing if not organised and after 6 years of doing this even eldest grandson has come to expect a fun busy organised - not a minute free - day!!

The kids arrived at 11 ...... and Sir got busy putting the lights on the tree .. the kids were in the kitchen dropping Christmas capsules in water and watching them explode into Christmas .... umm.. icons??? trees/reindeers/santas and snowflakes all made out of sponges......

Finally the tree was ready and two over anxious kids got busy throwing on the decorations.. all the birds together.. all the musical instruments together... all the balls together - you get the picture.. even the angel at the top of the tree looked a bit drunk..... hanging off to one side.. holding on for dear life.. the christmas train was set up underneath..... and littlest grandson (nono not the baby - pig pen will probably always be the "littlest one" in my head and heart - had to figure out the on / off switch.... how the wheels fit on the tracks... and how it worked !!

The kids helped me make hamburgers for lunch.. after gulping it down.. "what's next granny??" rang through the halls.

We decorated gingerbread boys (with POUNDS of gumdrops).... watched a Christmas movie ... played in the snow ... and created imagination with wiki sticks...

We played till granny dropped !!!


setting up the train





lunch is served!!!


fun in the snow


Today the tree has been moved (cause i really didn't like it in THAT corner) and the decorations have been readjusted and the angel is finally sitting upright .. looking a whole lot less off balance.



For me it was truly a magical Christmas day !!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Magic


Christmas - i think we can all agree - is a time of magic for the lil ones. Dreams can come true at Christmas (ok ok........ for you Scrooges out there ......not always .. but it is a time of dreams )

My father - despite his hardness - became a very different person at Christmas. It was magical to me (even now when i think about it) to watch the change from this strict Victorian style man to this gentle childlike adult who believed in the magic of Christmas and did much to create the magic.

His edges softened and rounded.... his smile was brighter, he laughed more, and hugged more.

There are so many Christmas memories of my dad..... from the man who crawled into my bed one frosty Christmas Eve when i was just too excited to sleep .... who told me stories in a soft gentle voice to lull me to sleep......... the man who allowed our dog to climb up on his lap... cause she was frightened of this monster tree that had taken up residence in HER living room....He would welcome people into his home in gracious way not as evident at other times of the year...... He would leave gifts for the less fortunate and tell no one about it (it was only at his funeral that we learned of some of his "good deeds")

And he was the grandpa who spent months upon months creating a doll house from scratch for his granddaughters ...... complete with working lights and a wreath on the front door, and a magical fireplace and a lit Christmas tree in the living room.

He was the grandpa who laid under the Christmas tree with my eldest - while i was making dinner one Christmas eve....... and told her stories about the Christmas fairies that danced in the tree... and they both spent ages under the tree watching the fairies dance and play in and around the ornaments.

He was also the same grandpa who one year .. many years later... built a HUGE fire in the fireplace on Christmas eve......... and when the girls asked him if he was going to put it out before he went to bed..... replied.........."No I am going to add more wood and make a roaring fire!! Gonna burn Santa's bum when he tries to slide down my chimney !!" (He thought he was being funny...... i spent more than a few hours calming two very excited/worried little girls)

My shopping is done......... but yesterday with my dad close to my heart ....... i made one more purchase....... i bought a silver key.... a massive big heavy silver Santa key...... i will give it to our 3 grandsons on Christmas eve........... there is a poem that goes with it, that explains if you don't have a fireplace hang the key near the front door and Santa will be able to come in...........

On Saturday when Sir and i are decorating / baking / entertaining our 2 eldest grandsons, we will make magic reindeer food (a combination of dry oatmeal and glitter) and they will take it home........ and on Christmas Eve they will spread it on the front lawn to guide Santa's reindeer to their house........ reindeers LOVE magic reindeer food don't you know??!!!

Spread a little Christmas magic around........ it's amazing really.....how it warms the cold dark corners of the heart...........

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Let it snow let it snow let it snow


Which is exactly what it has been doing today........... snowing and snowing and more snowing............. One thing is for sure..... we're gonna have a white Christmas.

You are all gonna have to forgive me... between negotiating snow covered streets filled with loonie toon drivers, shoveling my car out at school, shoveling the condo out at home, and trying to get some of my Christmas baking done........ i am literally and truthfully brain dead.

So in the spirit of "let it snow" here are some "special" snowflakes for your viewing pleasure............

snowflake #1


snowflake #2


snowflake #3

answers tomorrow.........

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Christmas at Home


On the 7th day of Christmas
i posted 7 Christmas presents.......






i think i have almost finished the decorating of the house....... i think...... though every time i see a corner missing some Christmas dodad i tend to add a sprig of holly or a clump of red berries......... BUT for the most part and except for the tree .. it is done!



Welcome to our Christmas condo (done in Victorian style - or as close as i could get it)




This is my white feather tree in the front hall - now if i can just keep the cats from thinking it is something for their amusement - all will be well.........


This is the top of the antique desk that came from my grandmother's house... a little greenery and a couple more of my Christmas fairies with a candle or two for effect............


This is the top of Sir's TV cabinet.......... more greenery and candles.........


For all the chocolate lovers that will visit over the holiday season..... a glass vase filled with assorted Lindt chocolate.......... Fortunately for me we have a Lindt outlet shop just around the corner (more or less)


The lil crocked table on the landing is the perfect place for my Santa sleds.........


This year i bought a garland for the china cabinet....... bless Sir.. He climbed up and screwed in brackets to hold it on each corner so i didn't have to duct tape the damn thing down !!! Now i just have to find the extension cord so i can have it lit up.........


You've all seen this before.......... my Victorian village ..... it is set on the tea wagon in the corner of the dining room....... and thankfully this year the cats are too busy claiming the feather tree as theirs to notice the nice soft woolly "snow" is back. Last year - every time i left the house - the damn cats would climb up... squiggle round and make a nice lil bed...... to hell with the houses and people !!!


Another side table in the dining room holds my collection of Santa Clauses........ plus two chocolate ones that will be claimed ( i am sure ) by my two eldest grandkids..........


This is the wreath that hangs on the front door....... i bought a plain green one this year and added bits and pieces to carry through my theme........ each year i can change what is on it to fit the theme........ (yeah yeah i know.. i am more than a little Christmas nuts!!)


This small table sits in my entrance way.......... holding a gorgeous Christmas basket i found on one of our cross border shopping trips...... filled it with greenery red berries and pine cones...........



These lil houses on my dining room table came with centerpieces from the first 3 Christmases that Sir and i celebrated together............ they have wee tiny lights inside and look very ....... Christmasy......all lit up at night time.

And that my dear friends is Christmas at Home...............


This weekend is our annual tree decorating party...... where granny and Gramps host the grandkids for a day of tree decorating, cookie making, and whatever other craft i can find to keep their lil hands busy............... trust me... next week i will post pictures of our tree in all its glory !!!


Both Dae and BlaznScarlet got yesterday's bit of Christmas.. it was indeed the candles............ Can you find today's bit of Christmas???


Monday, December 07, 2009

Shopping and more shopping


On the 6th day of Christmas
i posted 6 Christmas bows.....
(yeah yeah i know i missed the 5th day - BITE ME !!)


But i am telling you ........ i had a really GOOD reason for not posting on the 5th day .. honest i did !!! and besides i only said i would TRY to post every day during advent........ not that i would actually succeed... and besides....it's all Sir's fault i didn't post yesterday (nodding) yup yup All His fault.


Ok.. going back to Saturday - i arrived at Sir's house by 9:15 am.. (yes in the morning !!) ready to start our cross border shopping trip. Thankfully all bad weather took a holiday and things were running really smoothly until we hit the border. Geeeeeeez.. everyone must have decided to do some cross border shopping on Saturday...... and the "crossing guards" must have all been sipping mulled wine....... cause it took an hour to get across.. (definitely the last cross border shopping trip for awhile!!)

We quite literally shopped till i dropped.......... got back in the car by 5;30 to head home........ no line ups at the small border crossing (note to Sir - no more using the BIG border crossing !!) We arrived home at Sir's place by 6:30 unloaded all His packages.. jumped back in the car to head to the condo .. unloaded the rest of the packages...... hoped back in the car and tore over to eldest daughter's house warming party...... arriving there just after 7:30 ........ (colour me exhausted and STARVING)

One would think after all those hours of cross border shopping our Christmas shopping would be finished....... but no it wasn't/ isn't. So Sunday morning we were up and out bright and early again......... and managed to almost .. ALMOST .. finish the list. Back home for a late lunch and ....... i was dearly hoping ... for a nice nap by a winter's fire.

But mid afternoon or so.........Sir decided to show me that i was so wrong on my post on Saturday about the whips. SO WRONG!! remember i said the vegan whip was amazing...... when Sir sort of moved it back and forth across my ass..

Well.. it turns out i was wrong.. i do NOT like the vegan whip going slowly back and forth across my ass. Sir had me over the dining room table and was flicking that damn whip back and forth across my ass.. and i wasn't breathing.. but i was yelping and dancing the subbie jig ........ oh my god it hurt !! i swore it was stripping the skin off my ass........... where did i get the damn idea (fantasy is more like it!!) that the vegan whip was my friend.. was my favourite toy on the toy wall?? someone wanna explain that one to me!!!


After Sir proved He was right (yet again !!) Then i was allowed to curl up by the winter's fire.. write some Christmas cards and i even managed to sneak in a little nap before making dinner.


And that is why ....... dear friends..... there was no 5th post yesterday !!


oh i almost forgot.......... BlazinScarlet found the seasonal BDSM symbol - yes it is a bit ambiguous - red roses with holly (well i call it holly and it's my blog!!) i have added yet another bit of Christmas today.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

On Prancer and Dancer


On the 5th day of Christmas
i posted 5 coiled whips



Do i hear you all asking why whips today??? considering how up to this point i have been posting traditional Christmas items........... well because for some reason this morning i was thinking of whips......... specifically of Sir's circus whip.. the one He used last weekend while calling out the names of the Reindeer........

i was wondering .. of all the many toys that hang on the wall.. why it is i like the circus whip. Sir believes (and it was true) that i love the wooden paddles.. love the feel of the wood against my skin. But it is the circus whip i have to come love most of all.........

It certainly isn't because it doesn't hurt.. or it doesn't raise welts.. or it doesn't cut and burn and feel like it is tearing the skin off my body......... cause it does.

i think i love it because there is no way in hell that Sir can go at my ass fast and furious with the whip. He must lift it over his shoulder......... swing forward .. arching slightly... causing the whip to crack just before it hits the exact spot Sir was aiming for (99% of the time - there are a few times - i think when Sir is trying to rush it - that it does stray upwards.. or wrap around.. or hit some other tender soft spot) Then He must bring it back to the starting position before starting all over again.

This means i get a second or two to catch my breath.. to do the "subbie jig" as Sir calls it. i get to whimper and whine .. and finally reach acceptance .. which is when i stick my ass out in time to catch the next strike. For the uninitiated it must make me look like a "nut case" actually sticking my ass out.. wanting more.. begging for more.. even as the welts rise across my ass.. but it just feels THAT good!!

Now the cane.. or the paddles.. or the leather straps.. even the crops.. those toys don't need the precise arm movements.. they don't need a set up (so to speak) .. those toys can wail down on my ass .. usually the very same spot each time .... over and over and over again........ until i am gasping for breath and wishing Sir's arm would cramp up and fall off. (which it never does btw)

Yup... i like the whip.......

we actually have 2 whips.........

The vegan whip ...... called that because no animal was harmed in the making........





it is much stingier than the circus whip........ but i do love when Sir stands back and swings it side to side .. slowly.. methodically... the tip of it barely touching the skin........ just kissing it... a promise of things to come...............

The circus whip (Sir's first whip) was a "learner" whip so to speak - it is much shorter than a bull whip (though Sir does have one of those too)



and can actually be used (carefully) in the house.. with me bent over the dining room table.. and Sir standing off to the side.. and all the extra bits and pieces of furniture moved out of harms way......

Perhaps this weekend.. after much cross-border shopping...... and a house warming party at eldest daughter's ... maybe.. just maybe.. Sir can play Santa Claus again........and somewhere in the night air..... someone will hear......

"On Dasher On Dancer .. On Prancer and Vixen!"



(i have posted yet another "bit of Christmas" on my template..... though i have no fear you will find it in a blink of an eye)

Friday, December 04, 2009

Worst part of Christmas


On the fourth day of Christmas
i posted 4 candy canes......


I am thinking everyone gave up on my "find the Christmas" game.. only Cinderella played yesterday.......... and yes she won... it was the Xmas train at the bottom of the blog........ makes me think the rest of you are a bunch of "bah humbugs!!"

Now you all have to realize something here........ IF i am going to post every single day for the 25 days of Christmas.... IF i am gonna find some mundane boring thing to talk about.......... YOU have to at least come up with a boring mundane comment or two to spur me on to greater heights. It's not easy talking to myself.

Thirty plus years ago .......... i started my Christmas shopping in September/October. ........ not because i particularly wanted to...... but because i was pregnant with my first........... and reason and rationality ....... and my mother...... told me i would not want to be out in the shops in December pregnant!! (she was due the 29th of February - but managed to come exactly one month early - on the 29th of January - she being my daughter not my mother!!) They were right. So it became a tradition for "mom" to have all her shopping done before the 1st of December.

This year i have barely started........ and it is the 4th of December...... see me panic??!! The worst part of Christmas shopping actually is knowing what to buy everyone. It is so damn important to me that i find the exact right gift....the gift that makes the recipient go......."OH MY GOD!!! IT'S PERFECT!!! I ALWAYS WANTED ONE!!!" see the pressure i put myself under???

i did good the year i bought Sir His train......... and i did good the year i bought Sir His whip....... but ....... with all the other gifts i buy....... for all the other people... i didn't do so good............ and that just adds more pressure. i am thinking though, we might all be a little grown up now.. and the excitement of the absolutely perfect .. gotta have .. gift is not there anymore. Christmas gifts are perhaps becoming a polite acknowledgement of the season....... rather than the "oh i just HAVE to have this" that children experience.

But having said that... i am not sure that is right either. Sir and i have bought some pretty nifty gifts for the grandkids... and we get polite thank yous..... but not the excitement i remember from my days as a kid.. or as my days as a mom..... have i lost my touch??

Or have we all just gotten too jaded?? Do we all have more "stuff" than we need??

Last night driving home i was listening to an interview on the radio ........ some woman and her kids and hubbie organise a Christmas dinner for all the folks who have nowhere to go on the 25th........ no one to share the day with. This family canvassed restaurants and found one that would donate their space and their staff.......... the family canvasses for turkeys and chickens and all the trimmings to be cooked ........ they canvass for gifts for the children who will come.. they canvass for a Santa to do the honours. This will be their 9th year doing this........ on Christmas Day !! and i thought how amazing this family is... one family making a difference. Turns out last year they served 956 dinners...... and didn't run out of food (made me think of the 5 loaves and fishes story from my Sunday School days)

Anyway....... getting back to my shopping list...... Sir and i have come up with some pretty damn good ideas for the kids this year........so now i am set to dash off to the shops and find all the items on our list..........

Tomorrow Sir and i are taking a quick cross border shopping spree - hoping we might find some bargains. Definitely i will find some food stuffs not available up here...... which makes me happy.......... and who knows we might just find some of the gifts on our list at bargain prices...........

But the worst of the shopping is done..........the list is finished.

As for the OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT THIS IS PERFECT!" reaction........ well i doubt very much it will be part of our Christmas celebrations....... but we will all be together for one day.......... and i will say THIS IS PERFECT in my heart........ cause it will be !




ps.......... there's no added Christmas to the blog today.......... giving you all a little rest from my silly Christmas hunt

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Memories


On the 3rd day of Christmas
i posted 3 Christmas trees.......



Yesterday i spent the day at home - stressing cause i wasn't at work - and my front door lock was taking forever to get fixed. i absolutely HATE not having control over things in my life....... weird eh?? a submissive who craves control.

But i can explain..... i hate not being in control...... but would be quite happy if Sir was here, then getting the lock fixed would be in His control - even if it meant i had to stay home and wait for the locksmith. (confused yet??) i don't know how better to explain it .. except to say......... i find it much easier to have Sir tell me what to do with the things that get out of control and spin off wildly .....

Anyway......... i had an unexpected day at home........ and i was determined not to let it go to waste. i baked and i wrapped. In fact i baked so many loaves of bread that i was still baking (my last loaf) at 8:30 pm !!!

Today my freezer is full of cinnamon bread to give as gifts - and one for Sir to enjoy. i also made the most wonderful looking loaf of cheese bread......... and the smell?? to die for.............




The rising bread smell floated throughout the house...... mixed with cinnamon... my christmas mantle lights on....... (no fire but still) and suddenly i was 10 years old again back in my grandmother's kitchen.

Now my grandmother's kitchen was usually filled with pies, cookies, bread cooling......... but Christmas..... that was a special time. The counters were piled high with shortbreads, Christmas breads, mince tarts, Christmas pudding... and for some reason i specifically remember coloured meringues in the shape of small bowls. She always kept them in a container in the cupboard over the stove. For Christmas dinner - well dessert actually - all the grandkids were served these meringue bowls filled with ice cream and smothered in our choice of chocolate or caramel sauce (homemade as well). i remember the year i was given the honour of reaching up high over the stove and carefully bringing the container with the meringues down to the kitchen table. i was the one who scooped out the ice cream into their sugary bowls ......... and i got to smother each dessert in sauce. i felt very grown up.

Christmas is a time of memories....... and it is a kinda sad time for me too.... all my family is gone now...... i am now "grandma" and the responsibility of making memories falls to me............. i hope i make her proud.

and for the few of you playing my "find some Christmas" i have hidden yet another Christmas picture on the template........ not as easy as the previous ones... good luck !!!

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Life in general



On the second day of Christmas
i posted 2 white candles .. one red ball...

(ok honestly this could get to be a bit much....... gonna rethink it)


Well the snow is gone...... and has been replaced with mild weather ......... and RAIN........ this doesn't feel one little bit like Christmas!!

i realized why it is i get so damn exhausted during the Christmas season.... i don't just do Christmas at home.. but i DO Christmas at school too!! My kiddies are busy making wooden clogs to hang for St. Nicholas day......(and yes i have the chocolate and candy canes to put in them) ... i have explained how the children in other countries celebrate differently than we do... encouraged some of our international students to share their customs with us.......

Meanwhile - i have been coming up with easy (cheap) crafts for them to do for the entire 15 school days........... been shopping for decorations (cause they never celebrated anything as far as i can tell in past years) ........ trying to find small inexpensive gifts for each of them...... oh yeah.. and trying to accomodate my kiddies who don't DO Christmas .. and because of religious reasons can't participate in any of our activities. Life is so challenging........... and fun

Over the weekend i noticed that the lock on my front door was "sticking" ........ and i worried i would break my key in the lock. Yesterday when i got home... the key opened the door - with difficulty - and then when i tried to lock it behind me.. the lock wouldn't move at all. OH LORD.......... what to do now??? i immediately called the locksmith........ and then barricaded the front door...... and turned my alarm on. So i am sitting here writing a post when i really should be at school. Fortunately the locksmith is supposed to show up this morning and fix it!! It isn't Christmas without some glitch in the works - is it??

i do have 4 loaves of Christmas cinnamon bread i want to make as gifts for some of the staff who have gone above and beyond to support me.. and welcome me to my new school....... and of course if i am making my cinnamon bread...... Sir is gonna expect at least a loaf or two for Him. i am thinking i might try getting one loaf made this morning.......thank god for freezers!!

One last bit of nothing......... there is a new Christmas addition to the template.. can you spot it?? (it's not very hard...... again!! And Spankedhortic got it right yesterday....... it was the Christmas Countdown Clock - which if anyone is very observant - has been changed slightly today)

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Day one


On the first day of Christmas
i posted one red ball!!
(hum 12 days of Christmas while reading the above - it sorta works)


i do love challenges........... it would seem....... one post per day for the next 25 days...... well we'll see how well i do !!

i am thinking of offering up a challenge........ mind you..... i don't have any prizes to award.... except the knowledge you were the winner.

ok ok so the challenge is going to be to spot the added Christmas decoration to the blog...... and that does NOT include in a post... no no.. i will add something to the template and you have to find it........ Today's is easy .... the winner will be the first person to leave their answer in my comment box.......... now don't be shy......... just cause someone else has answered doesn't mean they are right !! (especially as the days go along.. and more is added) so jump in and play along

Ok... back to the weekend.......

So Sunday Sir helped me drag up some of the Christmas boxes .... so i can start decorating the house. Each year this seems to be a daunting task - until i actually get going. Daunting because each year i pick a theme.......... and then try to work with what i have - or what i find at the dollar store - to create the theme. Last year if you remember my theme was built around a candle i bought.... a blue and white candle.

This past September when Sir and i were in Quebec City we wandered into a Christmas shop. They had the most gorgeous trees decorated in their shop....... and of course you could purchase the very same decorations to decorate your own tree at home. Well i fell in love with the Victorian Tree. i will admit i did purchase more than a few decorations to create my very own Victorian Tree.

BUT ............ i don't just do a Christmas Tree.. i decorate the entire house....... in the theme. When we went to see A Christmas Carol on Saturday evening, Sir poked me and told me to pay attention ......i might get more decorating ideas from the movie.

The one thing that stood out was that they hung wreaths on their walls (as well as their doors). So Sunday i am pawing my way through all the boxes, finding greenery to hang on the mantle ... and my Christmas fairies to add to the greenery.... and i came across an old wreath that was delegated to the bottom of one of the boxes. It fit perfectly into my Victorian theme (well in my opinion it does) .........

So i hung the greenery.. hung the fairies.. grabbed a chair and climbed up above the fireplace and hung my wreath.

And then i stopped.

It takes me weeks to get the house just perfect.......... adding a little bit more each week........... and then come January i don't understand why it takes so damn long to take it all down and pack it all away again. i want it all packed up in a day....... when it takes me 4 weeks to get it all out !!! go figure ........

Anyway...............

here's the picture of the fireplace complete with a fire burning...........



now doesn't that look Victorian??


Monday, November 30, 2009

Not quite but almost

My calendar says November 30th.......... not quite winter, not quite Christmas - but almost.

That is until i opened the front door this morning to this.....................



Over night everything changed, from drizzly warm rain to snow......... so it feels like Christmas is indeed coming !! No sense waiting for tomorrow.... i decided that i would add a little Christmas spirit to The Journey....... just a little tease of what is to come.


Sir and i had a busy weekend........... Saturday morning i made two huge casseroles of tortellini (one cheese ... one beef) to take out to youngest daughter's. Saturday afternoon Sir and i headed out to the country (well i call it country) to visit with the newest edition to our family and the rest of the clan. i have to say Jordan Liam is as good as his PR says he is. He eats... he sleeps.. he fusses a little bit.

Sir and i both had a snuggle with him......... and it warmed my heart to have the eldest grandson pop over to give a "fairy kiss" to his sleeping brother and whisper "I love you buddy" and then dash off to play some more. Mom and dad are definitely doing something right to have such harmony !!! And yeah i am probably gonna bore you all to death with baby pics.. but here is Jordan Liam at 5 days...............



After dinner on Saturday evening.. Sir and i left the clan and headed off to see the new Disney "A Christmas Carol" in 3D. It was better than i imagined - but most definitely not a kiddie flick.

We arrived home at midnight to find that that spanking new furnace that has already had 2 service calls for not working....... was once again on strike. The house was bloody COLD... Sir....... god bless Him.. agreed to wait up for the service guy who was supposed to show up between midnight (when we called) and 2 am.......... by 6am when i went downstairs he still hadn't showed up. i was torn between being livid with the gas company and upset that Sir had spent a sleepless night on the sofa waiting..... and waiting........

The guy did show up after breakfast.. and while he was trying to figure out why the damn furnace keeps shutting off and refusing to start.. i dragged out some of the boxes of Christmas decorations........ and Sir helped me drag them upstairs.

Once the furnace guy had left.. and the furnace was belting out warm air once again.... (for how long is anyone's guess!!) Sir found the circus whip and had me bent over the dining room table amongst the balls and holly, fairies and candles... and was whipping my ass while calling out "On Dancer, On Prancer, On Vixen " etc etc......... i personally think if Sir is gonna play Santa in real life... then He absolutely positively HAS to wear a Santa suit!!!

Sunday afternoon found us with an impromptu visitor - an old friend from the community - and we spent a couple of hours catching up on each other's news.... which is always a good thing !

Sunday evening we watched the Grey Cup Game.......... YAY Alouettes !!! (and drakor i don't care what you say about the game....... the end result is the Alouettes won fair and square and it was a true nail bitter right to the end!!)

And that dear friends is my Monday Morning Report.............

You are all gonna have to check back to see the Christmas additions i will be adding to the blog........ and the Christmas Corners (pictures of the house as it begins it's transformation to a Victorian Christmas) i have every intention of blogging every day through the month of December......... even if i am NOT participating in the Holidailies......... (is anyone participating this year?? is it even running this year??)


Friday, November 27, 2009

took a peak......

i took a peak at next week on my calendar........

OH MY GOD it is December 1st !!!

Every year for so many years i have been so ready for December 1st.. the blog had a holiday look.. i had signed up for the Holidailies... the baking was started.. the parties planned.

This year..........

nada.

Well that's not entirely true.. i have done some Xmas shopping - got gifts for my staff, for two of the grandkids, and i at least have a half assed baking plan.........

BUT that's it !!

dear swan left me a message over on the Heron Clan a week ago..... reminding me that i said (last Christmas) never again to entertaining my staff....... but that was the old staff.. i have new staff.. and am sorely tempted. i also said no Holidailies - and that i AM sticking to...

i kind of .. sort of... told my kids how i felt after last Christmas (for those that missed that happy - NOT - post ........... i felt like i was playing second fiddle to all their other activities). So they have promised me the 24th for OUR Christmas. and i know .. in my heart of hearts that somehow .. someway .. in the next 25 days or so i will pull it all together.. and Christmas will indeed come.

It's just right now............ it seems such a daunting task.

Stay tuned though........ i do plan on decorating a bit around here... on The Journey .. mainly for all the "Scrooges" and "Grinches" that read here....... i love to wiggle my ass and be a pain in their butts as much as possible (and no...... Sir.. i am absolutely NOT referring to You.. no way no how !!)



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