Friday, October 05, 2018
The lil one and I spent some time this past summer talking about 'good touch/bad touch'..... and private body parts... and what to do if something happens. I honestly didn't think she'd need to use the information -- but I wanted her forearmed ya know.
Yesterday she came home from school with a note in her agenda from her teacher. I read it -- T W I C E -- because I couldn't believe what I was reading. Her (male) teacher reported that the lil one had whispered the word 'vagina' to another student.
I looked up from reading the note and the lil one was almost in tears -- visibly stressed, pulling on her braids and fidgeting. I did what I think any responsible adult should do.......... I asked her WHY she would talk to another student about 'vaginas'.
It took some work to get her to talk to me -- I had to be reassuring.... I had to coax... I had to use every trick in my arsenal to get her to tell me what happened...... it was very obvious to me she thought she had done something wrong... that she was in BIG trouble!!
It turns out that she and some friends had been playing -- the lil one was sitting in a plastic box. This box had a hole in it. One of the boys put his hand in the box and "touched my vagina". She whispered to a friend that he had touched her vagina.
OK she did get most of it right -- but she should have told an adult. She didn't. BUT she did exactly what she was taught to do -- she spoke up and told someone!!
Her teacher called her over and said he was sending a note home to her father! He didn't ask why she had used the word... he totally missed a "teaching moment". Not all of teaching comes in the curriculum -- some teaching happens spontaneously. And he missed it. Worst of all he made the lil one feel guilty -- bad -- she had done something seriously wrong if a note was going home to 'daddy' !!!
I was livid. I wanted to go to the school and tear this guy a new one.
Instead I spent a goodly amount of time assuring the lil one she had NOT done something wrong (though if it ever happens again telling an adult would be better) that I was proud of her ... that her father would be proud of her.
When Sir Steve came home I had found the teacher's email address and the principal's........ I suggested he cc the principal. He wrote the email ..........
This morning I prepared the lil one in case the teacher decides to talk to her..... I told her that she was to tell the story exactly the same way she told me ... I reinforced that she had done nothing wrong....... and that her teacher had goofed. She was not to be afraid to talk to him today.
God willing this teacher will talk to her and maybe apologize to her for not getting the whole story...... and help her to feel confident about telling him if -- god forbid -- it happens again
I am still seething this morning. Especially considering all the current talk about believing women.......... it starts early ....... teaching girls to speak up and speak out!!! teaching girls their bodies are theirs....... and they have the right to say NO...... to call 'bad touch' ........ to have the confidence to speak up and out.......... and to realize it is NOT their fault!!
(putting away my soap box now)