How do I love You?

 

 

There are many ways of showing someone you love them... besides gifts/flowers etc... 

Sir Steve said "I love you" loud and clear this morning............. 

When he brought me my morning coffee it was in MY special Christmas coffee mug (some day I'll tell you the story behind this mug) AND he even had his coffee in a Christmas mug ............. 

 

(my special mug is the "jingle bells" mug)

That - dear friends - is true LOVE !! 

Lucky Me

 

 

My Day

YUP I've completed one more year around the sun........... 

What a year it has been - from moving in here with Sir Steve -- to the engagement last Friday night.........  

Yesterday I got my annual "my shopping day" done -- and managed to get 2 new pairs of jeans - one new sweater -- underwear (not as sexy as I intended) -- and a new dress to wear to dinner on Saturday night.

Today I have received many happy birthday wishes on Facebook......... 

BUT

the biggest surprise was when I woke the lil one up  (all she has been thinking of for the last week or so is Halloween)......... but as she sat her lil bum down at the kitchen table for breakfast -- she looked over at me through messy bed hair and sleepy eyes and said
"Happy Birthday S"

Best birthday wish EVER !!!

 

BIG happy News

So as most of you know I have been 'under the weather' for the last week or so.... I have been following Sir Steve's orders and taking it easy ... which means for the most part I have moved from the bed in the morning to the sofa..... and just vegged all week.

Yesterday we had an appointment ... so I washed my face, pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and met Sir Steve.  By the time I got home I was exhausted.. though truthfully I was feeling much better just not much energy.

When Sir Steve got home from work later in the afternoon -- he said he was taking me out to dinner to a new Bistro in town.  I said 'my hair is a mess and I look like sh*t' -- He said come on let's go.......... 

So I pulled on a pretty sweater -- ran a brush through my hair -- put on some perfume and lipstick and thought that's the best I can do on short notice.......... 

It was a lovely lil Bistro -- and we had a delightful dinner 

Dessert came and we were discussing my birthday (it's next week) and I told him (again!) how much I HATE my birthday cause it reminds me how much older I am than him.......... and OMG the numbers are really creeping up there......... 

Sir Steve said something along the lines of 'what can I do to make it special?' I didn't understand what the hell he was talking about....... there's nothing he can do to make me get over this age difference.......... 

While I was thinking all that..... Sir Steve stood up and then knelt down on one knee beside me (and all I could think was 'what the hell is he doing -- he's gonna hurt his knee!!) And he pulled out a ring box and opened it to show me a beautiful engagement ring........ I started crying and threw my arms around his neck ....  

He did manage to get the ring on my finger then I started crying and hugging him again..... He pulled back and said " Sooooooooo is that a YES?"  I started laughing through my tears and said Yes of course it is!!

The owner of the restaurant came over thinking there was something wrong with the dessert.... when she realized what had just happened she offered to take a picture... I squealed "nooooooooooo my hair is awful".... (I must have sounded like a mad woman cause she smiled and slowly backed away - grinning)

We took a picture of the ring when we got home.......... 

and the fairy tale continues.........

Memories

One year ago yesterday Sir Steve shared the following on my facebook wall.  When I read it yesterday it made me smile -- cause ya know what?  That is exactly what we both have ....... and it IS perfect -- and that is a very good thing!

Whispered Words

Sir Steve texted me instructions -- they made my knees go weak.

I sat in the parking lot by the gym waiting for him to arrive.  

I stood by the trunk of my car as I watched him walk across the parking lot.  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me -- and one hand stroked my hips and my ass......... 

and he whispered in my ear

"good girl"

two words that made my heart skip a beat and then soar.........

True Measure of Love

This morning I am sitting here in the trailer taking stock of my life....... and realizing for the millionth time how lucky I am.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I would find this sort of love.

A love built on respect and caring and trust.

I was thinking of all the little things Sir Steve does that shows me the depth of his love......... besides sex that is..... the sex is fantastic and frequent and more than mind blowing......the spankings are spontaneous and never forced or begged for... 

Nah - it's more the normal every day things he does for me....... like getting the coffee ready before bed so when I wake up in the morning I only have to flip the on switch .... or coming home late from work and turning the barbecue on to cook dinner.... or his probing looks -- his insistent "tell me what's wrong" and fixing whatever 'it' is or assuring me it WILL get better.... it's how he wraps his arms around me as we climb into bed at night - and no matter how tired he is -- or how much his body hurts -- he whispers in my ear -- and we laugh together -- and finally he kisses me goodnight - soft sweet kisses..... and I fall asleep with his arm around me - protectively holding me close.

OH and he thanks me all the time -- for taking care of the lil one -- for a meal -- for thinking of something he has forgotten -- for all the little things I do. 

He honestly truly makes me feel loved and valued.... and that is a very good thing!

 

Tickling

 

I have never been ticklish -- EVER!  I prided myself on that fact.  Actually I found 'tickling' annoying or painful -- never a pleasant sensation.

Sir Steve tried a few times to tickle me and no reaction -- nothing!  

Then on Saturday night we were in bed playing ...... and I was totally relaxed and enjoying myself..... Sir Steve was biting me -- here there and everywhere -- he hit a spot around the pubic bone and I started to howl with laughter... and wiggle ... and finally was shrieking at him to stop before I wet the bed.  

We laughed about it and he went back to some fun torture mixed with some sensuality and I got cheeky about something....... Sir Steve stood up and I watched him walk to the end of the bed -- I had no idea what he was gonna do but will admit I was intrigued (he is after all a Sadist and play time with him is always an adventure)  I watched as he ripped the covers off the end of the bed and toss them up over my body..... and before I could second guess him -- he had grabbed my ankle with one hand - restraining it tightly -- and with the other he was tickling the bottom of my foot.  

OH MY GOD!!  I was twisting and turning and shrieking with laughter again (god only knows what the campgrounds were thinking! )  I could barely catch my breath and my tummy hurt.

After ..... long after .... we were snuggled together whispering to each other when it hit me..... I have never relaxed or trusted anyone enough to feel tickling -- I always had one lil bit of control that I would not relinquish.  I whispered to Sir Steve my epiphany and immediately filled up with tears...... the level of trust I have with him -- the total surrender of all my walls -- is scary stuff to deal with....... to understand -- to grasp. Sir Steve knows how difficult this whole control thing is for me -- how wounded my heart has been -- and he whispered in my ear that he loved me and he would never hurt me....... and I slipped into a sound sleep feeling safe in his arms.

And that is a very good thing !!  

Verbal Again

It didn't take hardly any time at all for my spirits to lift.  It is amazing the strength that comes from being loved.  His quiet calmness -- his belief that everything will work out is contagious.  His love lifts my spirits and helps me work through the fog ... and that is a very good thing!

Yesterday despite the gloomy skies and 3 nights of almost no sleep -- I packed a picnic lunch and drove to the campsite to surprise Sir Steve.  He was there waiting for his new RV to arrive. 

We sat on the edge of the deck eating sandwiches and talking about the summer -- while the new RV loomed over us.  We spent a couple of hours together and then both headed in opposite directions down the highway ......... It was a good picnic -- one of many to come (except future picnics will involve sunshine and warmth) 

  

Intimate

It was almost dark in the room - the only light being the small table lamp on his side of the bed.

All the laughing/teasing/bratting was done for the day.

He sat up and moved over on top of me.

Taking his time -- changing positions -- going fast -- going slow -- teasing me with his cock -- then going as deeply as possible - then pushing in more taking one more inch of me.   His eyes never left my face.  There was no rush -- I felt it in my soul -- there was no rush -- this was his love pouring out of him into me -- giving me such pleasure.

No rush -- I could savor his cock inside me -- I took time to feel the ridges -- the pulsing -- feel it banging against me -- almost painful -- but not - just pure pleasure.  

I whispered to him "I can't wait anymore" (I wasn't begging -- I wasn't asking permission -- I was simply stating a fact) and he whispered back "then don't hold it" and I didn't.  Not that time -- or the times after that.

He would stop between - rest inside me -- tickle me -- and my eyes would widen from the sensations and then he would start again ..... and my body moved in complete unison with his.

Sometime much later -- when we were finished -- he gently rolled onto his side -- sorting out my legs, my arms softly -- gently -- I felt like a china doll -- not fragile just so precious.

He pulled me in close to him - arms wrapped around me tightly and sleep came ........ 
But not before I realized this -- THIS -- was making love and I smiled as sleep closed my eyes. 

 

Moving Heaven and Earth

During the Fairy Tale entries -- I talked about how LLF would say "I promise" and how I would react to the word 'promise'.

When LLF says he's coming to spend the weekend -- I hold my breath -- cause anything could happen - out of his control -- that could cancel our weekend together.

A couple of weeks ago he had just arrived when his lil daughter called and said she wanted to go home.  My heart dropped.  BUT his daughter comes first!  I heard him tell her he couldn't come that night -- but if she still wanted to go home he would come and get her the next morning.  Then he got on the computer and found a favourite aunt who would go and spend the next day with her.  He told her he had made a commitment for Saturday and wanted to keep it.  I couldn't believe what he was doing...... he was trying with every ounce of his being to keep his promise to me!  The aunt went and visited ..... and we got to spend the weekend together.

We have a big weekend planned this weekend.  We have been looking forward to it all week.  On Thursday night he told me the 'mom' had called and said she might not be able to take the daughter as she didn't feel well.  

I sat quietly and took a couple of big breaths....... and realized it wasn't the end of the world -- shit happens -- and there are still many more weekends to come....... 

BUT -- about 10 minutes later he told me he had babysitting covered if 'mom' did back out.  I couldn't believe it.  He had moved heaven and earth to keep his promise.  He will bring the dog (I can't wait to see how Missy handles having a black lab house guest for the weekend) and we will get to do everything we planned!

He is one of the few men I have met who 1) actually makes promises and 2) actually keeps them. 

He is a man with good intentions AND good character.
I am a very lucky lady.

Freeing the inner me

After all the writing I did last week -- it seems my head is empty.... I am basking in his attention 

So for today I will leave this for you all .......... 

Possibly a Fairytale - continued

chapter 5

I feel a little like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz -- I'm so close - so very close - I just have to click my heels together to be home..........

LLF is very much like the Prince Charming from the fairy tales.  He has kissed me awake.  He is reminding me -- showing me -- what life should be like.  He leaves me little messages on facebook that cheer me up -- encourage me on -- and give me hope. He pushes me gently to leave the past lessons behind.  He hushes the voices in my head sternly.  

He has reached deep inside me and slowly one by one - removed each brick that completed the wall around my heart..... leaving me feeling quite naked and vulnerable.

He has chased away some flying monkeys -- and like a Knight of ole he has promised to do battle to keep me safe.  He is a man of honour.  He is in no rush.  He left me a note the other day on FB 

This tale is far from finished.......  we will write it chapter by chapter together....... There is just one thing left to do -- one thing I have left to do

click my heels together -- and I am home. 

 AND it is done!