Finding the Right Words

On Saturday I wrote a piece "Conflicted"........ mostly I knew it was something I had to deal with -- work my way through it .... and find peace with my decision..... Cause there was no way in hell I was gonna walk away from this relationship!

On Friday afternoon Sir Steve and I had a trip to the Nation's capital to take care of some 'business' (more on that much later) ... and I was very quiet.  He asked what was wrong and I gave my pat answer "nothing".... because I wasn't ready to talk about my conflicts.  And yet I knew I had to share with him... had to make him understand how I was feeling -- and let him help me find a solution.  BUT it was so difficult to find the right words.

When we got home Sir Steve ordered pizza for dinner ....... and out of the blue I just started talking...... I talked about how I was very proud of how hard he was working at this job... how he was climbing the ladder of success... but I asked him if he had ever thought about how -- without me - he wouldn't have been able to do this.  (this isn't just an exaggeration on my part -- without me he would have to hire a full time nanny because of his hours) I told him no one was gonna give me a pat on the back -- or give me a raise or a promotion.......... what was happening was I was turning into a 'stay at home Mom' and I left that position many many years ago.......

AND I pointed out that even financially I wasn't gaining anything....... 

His reaction surprised me to be honest.  Usually when we have one of these sorts of talks -- his response has always been "you're right..... I'll fix this"...... but then I don't really see any big changes.  This time he wrapped his arms around me and told me I was right -- he wouldn't be where he is today if it wasn't for me........ and that he DID appreciate the work I did to free him up ....... and that he loved me muchly :)


On Saturday Sir Steve took me out shopping and he bought me a new winter coat one that actually fits (I have lost so much weight since I bought my last one that it just hangs one me) and then he helped get ready for the Thanksgiving Feast.  On Sunday he told me he would put my winter tires on my car .... and got me to order the brake parts that I need and he will fix my brakes .... AND.... he took me into the bedroom on Sunday afternoon and made sweet love to me (despite suffering from his carpel tunnel and needing a nap) ...... and then took me out to dinner so I didn't have to cook!

He talked to me -- mostly about nothing --- just bantering back and forth -- we used to do that a lot and I have been missing it.   

It turned out to be a very good Thanksgiving weekend -- I think we both realized how much we have to be thankful for...........  and maybe this is a new beginning for both of us!



Life is good when you find the right words ...........