Saturday, October 31, 2020

AND ........ the hits keep coming


 Yeah yesterday was a shitty day...... and the hits just kept coming........ 

The mother (really the grandmother cause mother doesn't drive) is supposed to pick up from 'school' at 2 sharp - according to the court decision.  Yesterday 2 o'clock came and went with no sign of a pick up.  (second week in a row!)

2:15 the grandmother finally showed up.... she had messages to run before pick up and well ya know - she just didn't get finished in time......... too bad so sad!!

It doesn't matter that I get 3 hours a week - from 2 till 5 on Friday - to run MY messages - do MY thing.  Nope that doesn't matter at all!!! I don't dare make any appointments on Fridays (well not till late in the afternoon) cause I can't trust them to be on time..... 

Right now.......honestly I am feeling so used...... like a doormat.  Sir Steve's reaction to this.... 'it's who they are! they aren't going to change'.

I am (to put it mildly) pissed................ and someone once said "don't make S mad - cause you won't like her when she's mad'

Friday, October 30, 2020

Step Mother Rant


I lost it this morning...... totally lost it.  I know I am OCD and like everything in it's place... but I am able - for the most part - to overlook messiness of my family ... 


This morning I went into the lil one's room to change her bed..... we store her linens in a storage box in her cupboard... (she has a HUGE cupboard).  I opened her cupboard door and 'stuff' fell out!!  I couldn't even get into the damn cupboard!!!

Then I went to strip her bed....... OMG....... the headboard (which is shelving) was crammed with stuffies and jewellery (she has 2 - TWO - jewellery boxes!!) but opted to throw her good jewellery on the shelves.

I lost it.  I'm not proud of losing it.......... but ya know sometimes it feels as though it's a 'let's test S's patience and see what it takes to make her blow'   

I don't think I ask for much from anyone....... I keep the house clean and tidy.. I just ask that everyone pick up their 'stuff' and put it away.......... NOT throw it in a cupboard and shut the door.  

AND the stuffies all over her headboard??!!!  GAH!!!  

Her father lies on that bed - every single night - reading bedtime stories with her..... he didn't see the mess - the accumulation of stuffies spilling over??!!! 

I just feel defeated right now.........

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Checking in........


Oh boy!!  It is getting scary again...... our numbers here in our lil town are rising - worse than in March - and it's scary!!  Where Sir Steve works - there is a person from the office who has been off sick since last Friday and has had a Covid test - and is awaiting the results...... that's just a little too close for comfort ya know??? wayyyyyyyy too close.... 

We were informed yesterday that there is a confirmed case of Covid in the lil one's school - thank god we are home schooling!! 

In the last week our numbers have grown by 15 - doesn't sound like much?? BUT we only had a total of 17 from March - June ....... so yeah 15 in one week is HUGE!!

Quebec has had 'hot spots' in lock down for 28 days ......... and because the numbers really haven't come down - the lock down has been extended for another 28 days!  BUT it makes me wonder ya know - if there was no improvement in the first 28 days why do the politicians think there'll be a change in the next 28 days??  AND just because an area is put in lock down - it doesn't mean that folks from that area can't / won't move to an area not in lock down - and spread it even more........... GAH!!

We keep hearing how we have to stay open cause of the economy - but New Zealand keeps locking down and I don't hear a whole lot of worries about the economy from them....... OR am I just missing that bit???

I don't have any answers to any of my questions - except I'm stressing again..... and really just wish I could gather my family together in the house and lock the doors to keep everyone safe............  

Tuesday, October 27, 2020



We had a dear soul who lived 3 doors down from us (she has since moved - into a group home I am hoping).  I would see her leaving her house and she would get to the bottom of her stairs and have to turn in circles - 3 or 4 times (honestly I never actually counted)  She would get to street corners and the turning in circles ritual would happen again - both stepping down off the curb and stepping up on the other side.  I always fussed that she would get hit by a car.

That is OCD at it's worst I think.

My mom had OCD - though I am sure it was never diagnosed as such...... but she would wash her kitchen floor every single day...... EVERY SINGLE DAY! She washed her hands constantly (she'd do well through this pandemic).  She had lists and routines and god forbid if something happened that altered those routines.  AND everything had a place and was in it's place.  A lesson she drilled into me!

I joke that I have OCD...... (mine is actually diagnosed) I tend to joke about a lot of things that bug me.  and yes my OCD bugs me.  

My OCD (see my ownership of this?!)  manifests itself in routines and schedules.  My life is good when my routines and schedules aren't disturbed.... BUT if something happens that disrupts my schedules/routines one of two things happens........ I either get very bitchy!  OR I get very panicky.

Yesterday I had the dentist appointment....... on a Monday.  BUT Monday is laundry day.  I figured I would be able to get it done when I got home - the eternal optimist that I am!!  BUT despite getting a good report from the dentist (the infection has healed - the bone migrating out of the gums is totally normal - and I need to be patient cause the time frame to heal is not a week or two but more like 6 - 8 weeks!!) I still came home with a headache.  I managed to get 2 loads of laundry done....... but there were still 2 loads sitting on the laundry room floor... AND.... I still had to strip the beds and do the bed linens and the towels.  I was very 'adult' and announced at dinner time that I would finish the laundry tomorrow......... 

I said the words out loud - but inside my gut flip flopped.  There was laundry on the floor!!! OMG!!!! Ask me if I had a good sleep last night.......... le sigh.

The minute Sir Steve left the house this morning I was in the laundry room doing laundry!!!  It will be done by the time he comes home... the laundry room will be all tidy again..... and my world will once again spin smoothly through the universe.

Monday, October 26, 2020

Covid Birthday Parties


Here's a little known fact about me - I HATE birthday parties -- well birthday parties for me.  I hate being the center of attention.  


Covid made my birthday a wonderful celebration.  There was no way that Sir Steve could throw a big celebration - just eldest daughter and SIL. (though I do think youngest could have come down......... but she didn't)

We have birthday traditions.......... like birthday cakes for me HAVE to have roses on top... (having my birthday this close to halloween meant that as a kid my mom god bless her would always make a halloween themed cake)....  Chinese food is the birthday dinner (been that way for... mmmmm... must be 30 years or so).

Because the lil one goes to her mother on weekends - Sir Steve arranged a small birthday celebration on Thursday night so she could take part.


She made me a sweet card and a couple of gifts with her 3D pen 


Then Saturday was the main celebration - with the Chinese food and gifts and family.


 Spankedhortic said in his comment that he hoped I got some birthday spanks.  (le sigh) unfortunately NO............ my mouth is not healing - and despite antibiotics it is still swollen and now I have bone bits pushing out of the gums.  I see the dentist again this morning.......... colour me discouraged.......... V E R Y !

Life is good though - when pandemics make your birthday perfect!

Sunday, October 25, 2020

Milestone Birthday

I nearly had a breakdown when I turned 30!

Fifty was pretty bad too 

Sixty found me retired

and now.................... phewwwwwww.... I have been dreading this one..... but it came anyway.......... 

Celebrate with me........ hopefully with a smile........






Saturday, October 24, 2020

Ignorant People



From the beginning of this pandemic back in March I honestly thought we'd get a handle on it fairly quickly - whatever it took.... I could almost see a light at the end of the tunnel.

BUT over the 8 months it has distressed me how many folks rant about conspiracies and their rights to not wear a mask and to party and to do whatever the hell they want to.......... in a word 'ignorant' people.

Yesterday I was out doing groceries..... at our local grocer I watched while a woman sampled a grape from numerous packets of grapes...... pulling one out of the bag - pulling down her mask and popping it in her mouth.... over and over again.  I couldn't believe it!!! I spoke to an employee who got the manager.   As much as the manager spoke to the woman - that is all they did.  The packets of grapes were not removed or even washed down....... The woman was left to roam through the rest of the fruit department and the fresh veggie department - handling everything!

AND we wonder why our covid numbers are climbing..... 

Life is frustrating when we have to deal with ignorant people 

Friday, October 23, 2020

School Days



I will say again how much easier home schooling is this year compared to last spring!!  (thank god!)  The lil one signs in to her virtual classroom at 8:05 and stays connected till 1:30 which is the end of her school day.

The one major advantage to home schooling (besides keeping her healthy) is that she has now made a 'best' friend.  It is a lil girl who has been in her class since Kindergarten but because of schedules and busing they haven't been able to play together after school until this year.

I made a Teams group for "play date" and they play together every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon....... and when I say play I mean PLAY!!  It boggles my mind how they have adapted their play to work over a computer.  The other day the lil one asked her friend if she wanted to see how the 3D pen worked.......... she got it set up and angled the camera down so her friend could watch while she worked......... I have also seen them playing "Veterinarian" with their stuffed animals - the lil one dragging out her doctor's kit and examining the dog via the screen....... I hear laughter and chattering and even singing during the play dates.  It does my heart good 

On Monday's and Wednesday's I try to find some extra curricular activity for the lil one.  This week she started an apple head...... 

she carved out a face from an apple.......

then  we put it in a low oven for a few hours to kick start the drying process



AND in a week we are hoping for something that looks like this..........    

Life is good when - with some compromise - a plan comes together .........  

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Merry Halloween


 Life is a wee bit confusing around here ...... Halloween is a week away and yet I am doing Christmas 'stuff'.

Yeah you read that right........ CHRISTMAS stuff.  

You see - a year ago Sir Steve was reminiscing about fruit cakes and how he loved them.  My ears perked up.  I had never made a fruit cake before - BUT how difficult could it be??? and I do love to please!!  so I looked up recipes and ingredients and discovered to my horror that fruit cakes should be made - at least - 10 weeks before Christmas.  I did manage to get one made in 8 weeks ... and it was a hit!

Last week I realized it was past time (AGAIN) to get the fruit cake made!!  I dashed out and bought the ingredients......... got the fruit soaking in rum... and actually got it baked yesterday.  It's all wrapped up in rum soaked cheese cloth sitting in the cupboard aging to perfection (hopefully).

I got thinking how Christmas this year is going to look so different from Christmases past....... so I called a 'family' meeting and we organised a virtual Christmas for Dec 19th ... as well as confirming with eldest daughter and SIL that they'll come down for Christmas Day. 

That got me thinking that I won't be able or willing to go poking around the shops looking for perfect gifts this year....... so I hit the net.  AND if I am gonna order gifts then I had better get that done in record time too - ya know?!  I am expecting more than a few folks will be shopping on line and there will be delays in shipping.  I spent last weekend shopping online ..... and bought almost all my gifts!  JOY oh joy!  all but one gift will be here this week and next week.  They'll certainly be here in time for Christmas but I'll have to find good hiding spots for 8 weeks!!

None of this has been too much of a hardship for me....... for those of you who read here regularly you know I don't DO Halloween but do DO (with great enthusiasm) Christmas!!

Life is good when Christmas is close enough to cheer me up.......... 

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

How's It Going?



'Member back in March and April how we all kinda checked up on one another?? Then as things settled into a new normal rhythm we all stopped?? Recently with an upswing in number of cases again - and talk of the 2nd wave - I have been wondering how you folks are doing in your small corner of the world.

Last night I went to 2 - TWO! - virtual school meetings for the lil one.  During the day I had read a couple of times hints that our schools might close again.  I was hoping I would get more information at the meetings.... and I wasn't disappointed.  At both meetings they talked about the strong possibility of the schools closing down again.  Our lil town is between 2 hotspots - Ottawa and Montreal... and more than a few residents work in those 2 cities.  Our numbers have been slowly climbing back up again.  In the spring we had a total of 20 cases...... since August we have gone up by 21 new cases!! which on the big scale of things really isn't that many - a total of 41 cases in 8 months...... but still it's worrying.

In this house we are still self isolating - I only go out once a week for groceries... and want these dental appointments to be over!!  I feel very exposed when I go - even though the precautions taken at the offices is impressive.  

Last week when I was at the denturist's office I overheard a couple of his nurses talking about getting hair dresser appointments cause... they seemed to think the salons will be closing down again!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!! Fortunately I have an appointment this Friday (please don't close them down on Thursday!) 

So tell me - what's it looking like in your corner of the world???

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Two Steps forward - one step back



Sooooooooo I went to the dentist yesterday for my post op checkup.

Guess what?

My extractions are infected.  (le sigh)

Now I am on antibiotics for 7 days - and she told me sternly "REST". and I am not to wear my dentures except for eating until next Monday when I see her again.  

Ask me if I'm a little down............... I had high hopes of being 100% by this coming weekend....... got me some plans........... 

BUT - on the plus side - I'm not losing my mind.  Since last week I have been feeling punky ya know?  not myself.... now I know why........ in the big picture this is just a little hiccup .............   

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Sunday Sentiments

sticking to my theme of Life pulling cruel jokes.........


Saturday, October 17, 2020

Not Laughing



Sometimes life is just not funny ya know??

Sir Steve and I had just started to click again - play times were starting again - sex was back on the agenda........ things were looking up....... 


oral surgery happened........ trust me when I say it's hard to feel sexy when your face feels like it's gonna explode...... or be in the mood for some spanking fun when all you can think about is 'when is the pain gonna stop'?!


this isn't the first time - some days it seems like we just start to get our groove on and Life goes 'wait - you having fun? let me see what I can do about that'

yeah - I'm not laughing........... 

Friday, October 16, 2020

Horse's Ass


Sooooooo I went to see the denturist yesterday morning..... Appointment time 10:00 am.

I got there at 9:58....... the waiting room was full!!!  I was told he was running a bit behind schedule - it would be 10 minutes... so I told them I would wait in my car - 15 minutes later I entered the waiting room - it was empty ..... I sat down and waited .. and waited .. and waited.

20 minutes later I was called in...... 10 minutes after that he wandered in to see me.  that made him 45 minutes late!!!  

When I told him the agony I had been in he said 'ohhhhhh everyone goes through that' 

WTF???? everyone goes through that??!!!  AND he didn't think to warn me??!!  I said to him - ' do you realize how much easier it would have been to know this pain was normal?? Do you realize how much I stressed that something was very wrong???!!"

He laughed!!

yes you read that right - he laughed!!!! He then told me he would fix it all up and it would be fine!  Honestly I didn't believe him.... I could not imagine that he could do anything that would make it possible to put the plate back in my mouth....... my gums looked like raw hamburger meat!! The bones felt like they were crushed!!  

He wandered away - said it would take about 10 minutes.  When he wandered back he slipped the plate into my mouth -- I was white knuckling it BEFORE he even got the plate in my mouth....... I only knew the excruciating pain that had been my reality for the last 4 days......... 

There were a couple of ouchie spots - and he fixed those.  There was a problem with the bite on my left side - he fixed that.  He even put a rubber coating on the top of the plate - the bit that goes against the roof of my mouth.  

When he was done - he said he'd see me in 3 weeks - I said 'you'll see me sooner IF I have any problem!!  ANY problem!  I'm not going through that again!" 

Other than the bad taste from the rubber coating - things seem much better.  My jaw is still tender - still healing from the extractions - but for the most part it was 100% better.  I even managed to eat mashed potatoes and a hamburger pattie for supper!!!  (all mushed together - but hey it was real food!)

Here's hoping life will improve and I'll soon be back to 'normal'........  

Thursday, October 15, 2020

It's a 10!



know how when you go to the doctor's they always ask you to rate your pain on a scale of     1 to 10??  

The last 4 days the pain in my mouth - no not mouth - face - no not face - HEAD!! is a 10 - a resounding 10! 

I am going to see the denturist today - he better have some answers..... I haven't had the plate in my mouth for 24 hours as I couldn't stand the pain - and no amount of pain pills even dulled it.

This is not what I had hoped for..........

Sunday, October 11, 2020

Happy Thanksgiving (in Canada)




Have a safe Thanksgiving ...........

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Still Feeling Rocky

Still feeling a tad 'rocky' ........ living on 1 Advil and 1 Tylenol every 4 - 5 hours - the joys of not being able to have codeine or opioids....... 

So for your reading pleasure.................. 





As we seem to be heading into wave 2 ....... everyone stay safe!


Thursday, October 08, 2020

Day After

I am here...... feeling like I've been hit by a truck .... BUT the surgery is over and I have my smile back.  YAY!


Sir Steve is working from home so I can lie on the sofa and moan (grinning) I'm taking pain meds every 4 hours and waiting till the swelling goes down and my face feels normal again

One thing........ I was told to eat lots of ice cream - I'm not a big fan but hey it's easy to get down.......... AND a bonus - no brain freeze with the plate in the roof of my mouth!! 

Wednesday, October 07, 2020

Colour Me Nervous



I was scheduled for my dental surgery today.... at 1:00.  And then immediately after pop over to the denturist's office to have my new smile installed.

However yesterday - because I hadn't heard from my dentist - I called to confirm my 1pm appointment.   Turns out the damn denturist's office hadn't paid attention and booked my appointment for the extractions on THURSDAY and my appointment with him on WEDNESDAY!!!  I threw a small hissy fit!!  I have been going through this since mid August - I want it over with you - ya know?!  I was SO unimpressed!  Well it took 2 hours and I am sure some juggling - and many phone calls between offices ... BUT  I finally got a call from both offices ......... surgery at 3:40 and dentures at 4:30...... TODAY!

I have butterflies the size of elephants stomping around in my belly.....I keep holding onto the thought that after today I will be able to smile again....... talk without lisping and other speech problems.. and able to eat properly again.  AND be a whole lot poorer...

Life is good ........... when........... sigh... when this day will be over. 

Tuesday, October 06, 2020

Spanking Thoughts


10 years ago when I first played with Sir Steve - I noticed his technique was different from other Tops I had played with....... he had a very distinct warm up...... hard play and cool down.  I wasn't used to that..... 

BUT there was something else that he did that screwed with my head at first..... He used his hands to massage and stroke between some pretty spectacular hard hits - it allowed me to endure enjoy the play time better and longer. 

On the weekend I did some time travel - back to those days of playing...feeling his hands beat a tattoo on my ass - raising the endorphin levels - then just as I thought I couldn't take another hit - there were his hands stroking and massaging... running up my back.... back down to the red aching ass - stroking making it feel sensuous - making me want more ........ 

Life is good when you purr through a spanking........ 

Monday, October 05, 2020

Red is My Favourite Colour



Red has always been my favourite colour!!  I have red sweaters and a red coat ... a red dress and red socks.  

AND today I have a red bum!

Have I told you that Sir Steve is a Sadist??!!  Not only did he have fun 'painting' my bum red yesterday - he has taken a perverse delight in poking it and/or slapping it every time my ass is within reach....... and sometimes when it isn't

"Where are you going?" as I try to sidle past him "Get your ass over here"...... and then I earn a couple of stinging slaps.

Life is good when my ass is coloured RED...........  

Sunday, October 04, 2020

Saturday, October 03, 2020




This is just a little addition to yesterday's homeschooling report........ 

The lil one had to write about Terry Fox and draw a picture of him.  We turned the work in as usual at the end of the day.  A couple of hours later the school had posted her picture and her writing to their Facebook page.  In that instant I was SO damn proud of her...... and the work we have done together.  

Here's what she wrote and her picture........... (you can click on the picture to get a larger view)



Life is good when you see the results of hard work...........  

Friday, October 02, 2020

Friday Report


Week 3 - can you believe it?? 3 weeks of home schooling and I haven't killed anyone yet - or burned out!!  YAY me!  

BTW you might not know this -- but ronnie of "Heart and Soul" asked me to post weekly updates like I did last spring... so it's her fault you all have to suffer through Friday Reports ....... (grinning)

This virtual learning process is amazing!  I have very little to do teaching wise compared to last spring.  My only teaching responsibility is gym....... Wednesday mornings at 11:00 for 30 minutes.  Google is my friend....... I found beginner's yoga for children....... aerobics for children ........ and dancercise for children.  So when it's gym time - we clear the floor in the living room and I put on one of the Youtube programs for her.  She LOVES it!!  

AND I do a follow up on things the lil one may not have completely grasped.  Easiest way to catch problems - checking her work sheets from the day - and looking at the sheets that have a LOT of erasing.

The lil one learned a vital lesson the other day - DO NOT PLAY WITH THE BUTTONS.  Apparently (the teacher shared this one with me) the lil one clicked on a button and managed to take over the teacher's screen.......... AND didn't know how to give back control!!  I asked her WHY she would do that........ did she even know what 'take control' meant?  Turns out she thought she could turn the pages (on the screen) quicker ... she now knows 'take control' is sorta like being the boss and she is NOT the boss!

One new feature this year - her teacher contacts me at the end of each week to let me know how she sees the lil one doing and to ask how we see this virtual learning process - glitches? problems? successes?  I LOVE the personal touch........ when the lil one was in school we never heard from the teacher unless there was a problem.  I am not sure if the teacher contacts the other parents ... which is mind boggling and time consuming!  BUT we love the contact.

Life is good when a plan comes together ........ 

Thursday, October 01, 2020



 I had some spare time yesterday - had read everything new on Facebook - had more or less caught up on everyone's blogs...... so I logged onto Fetlife.  I hadn't been on there in months!!  I wondered how it was doing now that we are in the middle of a pandemic.  Obviously the munches weren't happening...... obviously play parties (they were few and far between before covid hit) weren't happening........ SO what was going on??

Truthfully nothing much....... I didn't stay on very long......  there were still the usual posts about looking for kinky sex partners (really??!!!) and bondage pics and nude pics........... but for the most part there was nothing that caught my interest.

BUT it did get me thinking - reminiscing really.  When I started off in the BDSM community (and it was a community back then.... especially since I was in a BIG city) BDSM  stood for - Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism.  Nowhere does it say 'sex'.  It wasn't about sex (for most of us) ..... it was about whips and chains and floggers - oh my! It was about leathers and corsets and protocols.    

The last few BDSM parties that I went to didn't look anything like the parties I was used to.... there were no protocols -- no respect - and a whole lot of sex going on in the dark corners.  I think that was one of the reasons Sir Steve stopped taking me to parties... Thus there hasn't been a whole lot of pain going on here - no knives or floggers or whips or paddles.  As I said once before...... playing for us involved going to clubs.. much like vanillas going to dance clubs.  Oh you can dance at home alone but it's just not quite the same thing....... there's an energy missing.

Our BDSM has devolved?? evolved?? to kinky sex.  Don't get me wrong...... I have always found kinky sex H O T!  My masochist side gets enough pain to be satisfied.. and taking my body and using it satisfies Sir Steve's sadist side.

Life is good when your needs are met by evolution .........

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