Saturday, February 27, 2010

March Madness

Last evening at 5:00 p.m. sharp i started my "spring break". This morning i slept till 6 (yeah yeah that's sleeping in for me !!!) and am having my coffee leisurely here at my pc. i am on Spring Break !!!

i have a list of "to do's" over the break - like finally sorting out all my books .. organising them and getting them back on the book shelves in some sort of order. It is my favourite room - yet it seems to get lost in the hustle and bustle of every week cleaning....... books get tossed onto the shelves once read........ and it becomes the storage space for Christmas presents (cause no one else but me ever goes in there !!) and Birthday presents........ and bits and pieces that i have no idea where to put them. So it is time to get into that room and make it my reading room once again.

i also want to launder the curtains in the house ........ and make the spider webs disappear (they have appeared like magic over night and grace the tall corners in nearly every room)

And my mind is whirring with snippets of ideas for programs for March - for my kiddies at school. Did you know March has numerous weird sort of celebrations??
Like earmuff day - and paper money day - Alexander Graham Bell's birthday - International Woman's Day ........... but the best day of all is ........ Dr. Seuss's birthday !!! So i have named the theme for March - March Madness !!!

But for now............ i will recharge my batteries ....... clean out the cobwebs and bring some fresh air and spring into the house and into my soul...... and on Wednesday i will take off and go stay with Sir for 5 days....... 5 DAYS !!! and who knows .......maybe just maybe i will post more regularly here.. come on!! dontcha all want to know how many cobwebs i have swept out of the house?? how many books i have sorted?? how many curtains i have washed??? come on ...... you know you wanna know !!!

Here's to March Madness ------------- and ----------- SPRING BREAK !!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


i was thinking this evening as i dusted the house naked with nipple clamps on my pussy - that i am not a masochist. Oh not because of the clamps on my pussy - once i got used to them.. and figured out how to walk with the chain dangling between my legs....... oh yeah and remembered to bend slowly cause for some reason bending really REALLY hurt !! - no not because of that...... but because i take no joy from pain for pain sakes.

So when i finished dusting the house and was able to remove the clamps from my pussy - which hurt more than when i put them on - i checked out the definition of masochist.

1. The deriving of sexual gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from being physically or emotionally abused.
2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or mistreated, either by another or by oneself.

i used to get sexual gratification from pain..... well i used to get turned on by it ... but not so much now. Actually not at all now.

i have been known from time to time to actually have an orgasm from having my pussy whipped, or from a nice sensual flogging. But that isn't happening so much these days.

i wonder if it is my age........ have i finally reached the stage in my life where sex isn't the be all to end all??

And if it is........ does that mean i lose the title 'masochist' beside my submissive name???

Just some silly thoughts as i relax after dusting the house with clamps on my pussy and not even the smallest desire for sex...........

Friday, February 19, 2010

This 'n that and then some

Things have been a little upside down around here.. starting with the weather... it is mid February and i had gone back to wearing shoes ......... SHOES..... to work. The snow was melting like it was March/April. The sidewalks were dry the parking lot was dry........... the sun has even been poking it's head out once in a while.. i was even contemplating get my car washed. Up here in the Great White North if you don't have a garage - which i don't - you do not wash your car in the winter............ well unless of course you don't need to get into it till the spring thaw.

Nice eh??

Till this morning. Winter is back......... snow, cold, boots, shoveling. ughhhhhhhh it isn't nice of Mother Nature to tease like that !!!


This week i was out running some messages for school......... was all finished up and was edging my way out of the parking lot when some stupid male a**hole decided to gun his car out of his parking space - without looking to see if he had the all clear. (don't tell me women drivers are the worst!! don't EVER tell me that) i slammed on my brakes / and horn at the same time ... so hard i was almost standing on my brakes and my shoulder and arm were shaking......... he pulled back into his space.. and then backed out again .. around the front end of my car.. giving me SUCH a look !!!! Honest to god i sat there shaking and finally the tears came............. two days later my back still aches .. my neck is still stiff and my right arm feels like i lifted way too many weights !!!

BUT my brand spanking new car is safe .. not a scratch on it...... (lots of salt and dirt - but no scratch !!)


Remember the old joke about masturbating?? that you will go blind?? and "can i do it just till i need glasses"??? Well February is my "go blind" month......... and no not from masturbating (i wish!!)

It is the month that i have to do the tax receipts for my families who use the " pay as you go" programs at school - from daycare to lunch program. It means hours of staring at spread sheets checking and double checking social insurance numbers, monies received etc etc..........

Yesterday i spent the morning at the Board on a training for the new tax program.. and tax laws....... (have i told you all how much i hate math and all related subjects to it?? ) Then i spent the afternoon staring at the spread sheets going blind.

And so it is.......... i have very little interest in coming on the pc.. even to play my farm game on facebook - or writing here on my blog. i just want to lie in a dark room in complete silence and shut the world away.

BUT on the bright side........ if i survive all these weeks of going blind - without actually scratching my eyes out....... or someone else's eyes out from frustration...... Next Friday night as the last receipt goes in the mail box.... i start Spring Break !!!!!!!!!!


Sir is here at the condo this weekend.......... i have barely planned any meals never mind done much cleaning.......... i hope Sir will turn a blind eye to the hair balls and dust bunnies........ hopefully my cheeky grin and wiggling ass will keep Him preoccupied.

And that is what is going on around here ............ this 'n that and then some........

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


i belong to a couple of mailing lists...... in the beginning i was posting to them regularly - now - not so much. It isn't because i don't have anything to say.... it's more that i have said it all before so many times.

The other day i was half following a thread that started off with the usual "i think i might be submissive - how does one know?" i kept an eye on the thread cause ya know....... it's been so long since i had those "could i be submissive feelings" (ok ok so maybe it's more that i wanted to see what half assed stupid comments that line would bring out)

i won't bore you with all the usual comments ........ but there was one comment that mentioned there was more to being submissive than accepting pain. Now that sounded like something i might say...... so i kept on reading the following emails............. finally the initiator of the subject came back saying "giving someone complete power over me sounds exciting".

sigh......... major sigh.........

Complete power over someone sounds exciting yes........ and in the beginning maybe it is exciting for both Dom and sub ......... but i am here to say ........ after 9 years of this power exchange - the excitement has died out.

i am NOT saying i don't want this complete power exchange anymore..... nope .. i am quite happy with it.......... BUT....... i am here to say there comes a time when the orders don't come flying fast and furious anymore. The corrections don't come fast and furious anymore. The whole 'feeling' of power exchange doesn't come fast and furious anymore.

It is just the way i live my life.

It's as normal as making morning coffee... doing the washing and ironing.. making a meal. It is what it is. i don't need orders anymore nor do i need corrections (which is as it should be).

Like i said..... it is the way i live my life, the newness has gone... and yeah maybe some of the excitement. i don't get butterflies the size of elephants stomping around in my belly anymore at the thought of Sir coming over..... i don't get butterflies the size of elephants stomping around in my belly anymore when the whips come out......... hell i don't even get a red ass like i used to !!!

Does that mean the excitement is gone???

Maybe - but what has replaced it.......... the deep abiding love/respect i have for Sir and He for me (at least i hope!!!) is far more meaningful than a quick excitement fix.

So for all those newbies who are stumbling around trying to figure things out....... enjoy the excitement for now......... but my true wish for you is that you find your way through the frenzy of the newness and come out the other side - not jaded by your experience - but with a deep abiding love and respect for your partner that will last a life time.

Monday, February 15, 2010

"love is in the air"

i brought a Valentine's feast to Sir's on the weekend....... well it was a feast by our standards....

steak fillets, baked potatoes, veggies...........

and for dessert fresh strawberries and chocolate to dip them in..... and small bite size brownies .........

i even lit the candles for a candle light dinner (thank god Sir has a romantic bone and didn't insist on lights)

i was a good subbie and dipped the remaining/left over strawberries and left them for Sir in the fridge to enjoy this week.

That's the "foodie" report for the weekend...... if you want to read the juicy bits...... Sir wrote about it on His blog....

And for those of you worried about the broken cheese board (reference Sir's blog) don't be worried........ Sir fixed it Sunday morning.

And for those of you - well one anonymous commenter to Sir's blog - why don't you sign your comments so that one can respond directly.......... you think i wimped out?? well i'd love to see you break a wooden paddle ............... grrrrrrr i get so angry at those misinformed malcontents who show up once in a blue moon with rude comments!!!

ok ok... i am finished with that mini rant........

All in all it was a wonderful Valentine's weekend.......... maybe the best ever !!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

How do i love thee - let me count the ways......

There are all sorts of love poems out there.. written - probably - in the heat of the moment.

When i posted that i didn't know what to get Sir for Valentine's day - that screamed i want to kneel at Your feet etc etc.. a comment was left that i should write Him a love letter and read it to Him while He had me in the labia lifter........... well the first part was a good idea!!

That got me to thinking that sometimes especially during the rough patches one tends to have to look hard for the "love"..........and love can be so commercialized ........ just look at Valentine's Day........ duh !!!

Love for me is so much more than one day a year or only for the good times...... it is working through the rough bumpy times and coming out the other side stronger and more bonded to each other.

So i went looking for something that said "i love you - through the good times and the rough patches...

As i gave this card to Sir this morning - i give it you all now....... as a declaration of my love for Sir..... through the good times and the bad times...........

I will love You
on days when you are
perfect in my eyes.
and on days when i wonder
why you do the things you do.

I will love You
when you are the strong center that calms me.
and when you want to rest
in the comfort of my embrace.

I will love You
when you are confident
and proud of everything
that you stand for,
and when you need me to remind you
how far you've come,
and that there is no limit
to how far you can go..........

Now and forever
come what may
just as You are.......

i will love You.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Long Day

It was a long day............ emotionally long and physically long. Thank the gods i will be leaving in a few minutes to drive to Sir....... i really could use some sanity in my life right about now................

This morning i was told about an incident that happened last evening between a step father and his two daughters....... the whole thing turned my stomach.

Back in November this man came raging into my office because i did not "force" his youngest daughter to eat her lunch. He leaned over my desk - getting into my space - threatening attitude. i told him to "back off AND back down". He did. He told me - in way of an apology i guess - that he had anger management issues. i have been "lucky" enough to witness a couple of episodes of this anger management problem.

But last night's was the worst. He went after his five year old daughter. (all over her not wanting to come to school in the morning) Some of the garbage he spewed at her was ........... "I am going to put my foot up your ass............ I am gonna put you in a 'home' and you'll never see your mother again........ if I have another heart attack I am going to take you and your sister with me"

This morning i tried to get the powers that be in my school to act on one seemed to want to do anything....... filing the report under a stack of papers. i kinda shrugged.. there is only so much i can do. But right around the time of the bell i saw a psych worker i knew from my old school. i told her what had been going on........ gave her MY copy of the incident - hell i gave her the whole file. She asked me to come back early .............. i did.......... and the next 2 hours were spent on the phone with DYP (youth protection department).

The long and the short of it is........ it isn't a priority problem. Neither child is in imminent danger. They are not being sexually abused - and as far as we know they are not being beaten. No marks to show no immediate action.

They did promise they would do a home visit when they get time. .......... when they get time.

i understand.. i really do.. they have much more pressing problems........ with children who do have marks................ that show. And that is what is bugging me... my kiddies have marks too.. on their souls ........ and those marks don't show... so they go on a waiting list...........

i can only hope and pray that the waiting list is short............ and that step father's anger management problem doesn't explode before the waiting list shortens......

It was a long day............. a very long day.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


i had a meeting with Human Resources and the Union today.

And it is official

i am staying at my school next year !!! (see me do the happy dance)

Now this is where it gets a little confusing......

i am staying but everyone i have worked with this year (well except for 3 teachers and about 70 kids) are leaving.

See if you can figure this out.............

They are moving 200+ kids and 17+ teachers and other assorted staff out of the building and moving 200+ kids and 17+ teachers and other assorted staff in. Does that make any sense to you ??? doesn't to me or anyone else around here.

The 200+ kids and the 17+ teachers and assorted staff are going to be integrated into other schools. My staff ......... well ........... most of them will be declared "excess" except for the one tenured educator i have......... and they have no idea where they are gonna put her.

Come September i get to face a whole mess of new kids and families and staff....

But my office will be the same........ my space will be the same........... and i will be.......... praise the powers that be .......... exactly 10 minutes from home. After 15 years of driving 30 minutes one way to work this is a total PLUS.

i am a very happy camper.

The only thing that would make me happier - an early Spring.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

This 'n that and the other thing.......

i am tired of winter (i think) even though it has not been such a bad winter - as winters go here in the Great White North. i am tired of being cold.... cold to the bone - even though i have the heat pumped up in the house.... i am still cold. i am wearing heavy wool socks, turtleneck and a shawl thingy around my shoulders, cords and am thinking long underwear might be an idea. What is it with THAT??!!

And as i am trying to type this post i keep getting some stupid editing window at the bottom of the screen which is not allowing me to use contractions or slang...... what the hell???!!!

i am tired of being tired - and oh god am i tired !!! i feel like i could sleep for days. i am so much fun these days :( i am antsy and cranky and feeling totally out of sorts.. someone wanna shoot me now please???


Tomorrow i am at meetings all day........ in the morning i have a Board meeting - can i say "boringggggggg"............ and then right after lunch the Union and the Head of Human Resources are coming out to my school to "talk to me". i am so hoping that they will have some solution to my employment issue for next year. i do not want more "promises and maybes" .......... i want to feel settled......... i can always hope right???


And this weekend is Valentines day........ Sir has already given me my presents.. a thingy to hold my gift cards and coffee cards (cause i am always leaving them at home - or can not find them in my wallet or purse

(damn !!!! this bloody editing feature is driving me f*&king nuts!!!! anyone else having this problem on blogger?? or am i the only lucky one?? )

And Sir gave me a super duper pair of red olympic mittens........... YAY Sir !! i could not find them anywhere ........ and i love the olympics.. especially when they are here in Canada !!!

But now i am faced with finding something special...... something that screams "i love You" something that says "i kneel at His feet and am all His"......and i can not think of a thing.............. oh i can think of ideas for gifts .. but i so want something special............ any suggestions?? come on.. someone must have some brilliant idea right???


Sir and i were talking about my stats on here... and on the fictional journey........ i told Him my numbers have dropped off drastically........ i do not know why.. i just know they have.......... and i sure as hell can not tell if anyone is even interested in my ramblings as hardly anyone leaves comments.......... mind you i am not that good at leaving comments on other blogs........... and i remembered why i had given up writing stories for the fictional journey......... virtually no one reads them... after 9 months only 19 people read the last installment............. if i was a published author my publisher would fire me !!! ok maybe the lack of interest - readers - is because i have about as much talent as ........... well fill in the blank with your own suggestion.....


This and that and the other thing........... not much of anything....... but there ya have it........

Monday, February 08, 2010

300 +++++

Ok....... so the weekend was spent over at Sir's place. We spent Saturday afternoon at a curling event with the 78th Fraser Highlanders (and i have to say i am still NOT used to being called "milady") i am pleased to report that a good time was had by all...

On Sunday....... well now.. that was the real fun bit. Sir told me to lean over the sofa for a whooping ( i never say no to a good whooping !!) There were 2 interesting bits about this whooping............. (cause honestly i can only describe a whooping so many times in so many different ways).

The first interesting bit was what Sir used to whoop my ass.

No that is not a handy dandy wooden paddle......... that is a cheese board. When Sir and i cleaned out his mom's kitchen we found this old fashioned cheese board (not the one pictured above - but that is a close facsimile) And i do believe it may be His favourite toy to use (cause He uses it almost every time i am there) It packs a helluva whallop. i was kinda white knuckling it...... dancing and twitching and what not ......... when i decided to see how many smacks Sir would give me. (which is the second interesting bit about this weekend's session)

i have often wondered how many hits i take in a session.......... curiosity killed the cat and all that. So after Sir had been going for about 5 minutes i started counting. (which is why this post is entitled 300+++ i don't have an accurate count starting late and all )

Then just to keep things interesting Sir changed to His next favourite pervertable - the old paint stirrer.

Now that doesn't pack a whallop - but my god it does sting.......... and Sir can go much faster with the stirrer than with the cheese board. i was trying so hard to keep an accurate count - cause i know you all would love to know how many smacks i can take in a session.......... at times Sir went too damn fast for me to keep up............

But by the time Sir put the stirrer and the cheese board down, i had reached 300 hits........... i know it was more than that cause i started counting late.. and Sir double hit with the stirrer so many times i couldn't keep up............

So my question is.........

have you ever counted how many hits you have taken in a session????

and why is it we (subs that is) so often have fits when we are faced with birthday spanks or some celebratory spanking that involves over 100 hits???!!!

thoughts anyone??

Friday, February 05, 2010

Tale of Woe

i honestly truly HATE February............ and the funny thing is... it really doesn't have anything to do with mid winter blahs............

February seems to be the month where the wheels generally fall off the cart..... where if it can go wrong it does.............

and it is income tax receipt month.

and i hate math !!

i am responsible for two completely different set of tax receipts........ one for my private school (that i own and operate) and one for the public school where i work. (says something about society when one has to have 2 jobs to make ends meet doesn't it??)

Anyway............. the public school supplies the program to run the receipts.. it generally isn't uploaded to my pc until sometime about mid February - if anyone is checking the damn receipts have to be in the mail no later than February 28th midnight !!! Some years they have had glitches in the program and it isn't ready to use until sometime around the end of the month - which means LOADS of overtime.

My lil school receipts can be much simpler - once i find the damn forms on the government website that i MUST use - and figure out how to work them. Our government does not believe in the old adage "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" cause almost every year they change the process and the forms and the location on the net !! It is like a scavenger hunt for the right materials............

BUT this year i found the forms in quick order.. downloaded them and have been working on filling them in.......... this morning i was awake at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am .... and went back to work on them.... my rationale is....... the sooner they are done the sooner i can sleep. i have high hopes of having them completed and in the mail by mid week next week. YAY ME !!

The public school receipts are a different matter.. we are still waiting for the updates.. still waiting for the testing.. still waiting for it to be uploaded........ oh well .................

On top of that fun stuff other wheels have been wobbling off the cart..........
i have an employee - JJ i'll call her - who is a perfect pain in the ass. She is the one responsible (we think but can't prove) who sabotaged my work in the fall. (i took over from her mommy dearest who buggered things up right royally) Well JJ has been taking an awful lot of sick days........... (as the Union noted - funny thing is she wasn't sick once the whole time her mommy dearest was running the show) Anyway i digress...... JJ has been off since Tuesday afternoon - again. This time she has declared i ....... lil ole me......... has caused her so much stress she is on the verge of a break down !!! The Union and Human Resources seem to think i should be doing the dance of joy to be rid of her.......... problem is i have another employee who is on CSST (workman's comp) and am now very short staffed and no one has anyone for me......... so i am left hiring less than trained.. less than skilled ... well meaning women who really just want the job for the bucks.. and don't care much about the kids.

See a problem here???

Kids are special people

Kids come first

Those are just two of my mantras........

Then add to that mix..........

Yesterday the school nurse came in to talk to the grade 3ers (aged 8) about sexual abuse. i didn't have the dubious pleasure of sitting in on the lil talk..........but i did have the definite dubious pleasure of fall out from this talk.

One lil girl came to me sobbing... chest heaving........ body shaking sobs......... wanting me to call her mommy........... her tummy hurt.. she was gonna puke.. she didn't want to come to school anymore.....

She sat on my knee cuddled into my chest and cried a river of tears that soaked through my sweater.

She didn't talk much to me.. except to say she didn't want to be in school .. and she was scared.. and and and.........

Well it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out that lil talk on sexual abuse stirred something buried deep inside this sweet lil thing.

When Mom came to pick her up........... Mom told me she had always had suspicions something happened to her daughter (by an ex husband) many years ago..... but she didn't think her lil daughter was old enough to remember???!!!! Well guess what Mom !!!???

And it was on that note that my day ended yesterday. When i got home i honestly felt like i had been emotionally hit by a truck.

But this is my job.......... this is .......... believe it or not......... my dream job. i wouldn't change it for the world

(well maybe the tax receipts!! i really do HATE math)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

The things i saw ...........

Ok........ so i promised to talk a little bit about the other scenes i witnessed on Saturday evening............

Early in the evening........ almost before everyone had arrived and said "hello" i noticed a sub standing by a bondage table naked except for a pair of lacy black panties. Sir was busy chatting and i was - i admit it - a little bit bored...... so i wandered over cautiously to see what was going on with the black lacy sub. What had drawn my attention was the Dom had something in his hand that looked pretty much like a pen (from where i was standing) but it was glowing.

When i got close enough to see....... but not close enough to disrupt their concentration...... i saw that the Dom had a small light fastened to his head with a strap (sort of like a miner's hat - but without the hat). The light was glinting off the metal scalpel he held in his hand. He was cutting an intricate pattern into her right shoulder. i was fascinated by the steadiness of his hand and his concentration. Every so often - after he had made a cut - he would press the skin together then pull it apart. Each cut was very small (maybe no more than 1/4 of an inch) and he never stopped to wipe up the blood. Actually i was surprised there wasn't more blood. The scene went on for about 30 minutes.... and then He had started needle play - making a pretty pattern down her back .. and then having her sit up and another pattern was created down the fleshy part of her breasts .......... i never did get to see the end result of the cutting pattern .. i wasn't brave enough to ask to see it up close.

A bit later on, there was a fire play scene. Now fire play has always intrigued me...... probably because i can never experience first hand (i am highly allergic to alcohol). Fire play always makes me wish i had my camera and could take pictures. It is amazing to watch.. and the leaping dancing flames mesmerize me. This Dom used a towel soaked in alcohol over his sub's body to prepare it..... and then he wore a heavy sort of glove that he must have dipped in more alcohol as he lit the glove fingers and ran them over her naked back. The flames burned blue with a yellow tinge. The sub purred - absolutely purred !!

After a bit the Dom had her roll over and he repeated the routine........ covering her body with the alcohol soaked towel, then running the flaming glove over her body........ his ungloved hand followed suit quickly rubbing the flames out. At one point he pulled the glove off - to rub his bare hands across her body - but the glove must have gotten a little 'warm' as he shook his fingers and blew on them. i have a feeling i had a very cheeky grin on my face - cause the thought i had was "serves Him right!!"

After he had caressed her body and kissed her (and i am guessing - after his hand stopped burning) the glove went back on and the flames were soon dancing over breasts..... belly and down over her shaved pussy. One hand spreading the flames the other hand following quickly behind rubbing them out........... except...... he was moving faster and faster.. and the flames were burning so pretty on her pussy - his "put out" hand ran over the flames and moved up to her belly - but the flames on her pussy weren't out............. and she shrieked. Talk about an "ooooops" moment. That was the end of their fire play scene as he pulled her up into his arms smothering her face with kisses and whispering in her ear.

There was just one other scene that i watched for all of ...... ummmmmmmm.. two minutes maybe. There was a male sub tied down to a table.. and two Dommes had done some cock torture ... fastening chopsticks tightly over his cock and his balls....... and then they were taking turns hitting the chopsticks and cock and balls with crops. i am always fascinated how the penis seems to have a life of its own.... rising to the occasion..waving back and forth......... flopping back down ....... only to rise again with the next hit.

And that dear friends and readers are "the things i saw"...........

Monday, February 01, 2010

Weekend in Review

Well as i posted on Sunday - Sir and i went to our play party on Saturday evening.. and my breasts got worked over.. and my ass..... what else is new??

It was all a bit weird.......... and i realize i have some trouble putting it down (and make sense - mind you how often DO i make sense?? )

ok let's start back at the hotel at 6:30 when i was getting dressed to go to the play party. Usually fet wear is required for play parties........ and for those of you who don't know.. i am most definitely not into fet wear. But i have this lil black number that is see-through and has a black collar that is attached to the bodice with chains. There is even a lil thong to go with it.. a strip of material that goes around the waist and a chain runs between my legs.

i had gotten into the outfit.. was trying to fasten the chains on the collar/neckline to the bodice when i shuddered. It was -30 degrees outside and i just couldn't face setting off to the club in black mosquito netting. i wanted to crawl back into my thick wool turtle neck sweater and heavy velvet pants.

Imagine my surprise when Sir gave me permission to take the fet wear off and get snuggly !!! (He said that i was just gonna get naked anyway )

So off we went - with me dressed up warm as can be.

i was a little nervous about being dressed "so vanilla" but was thrilled to see even the hostess was in warm snuggly type clothing.

Sir and i were visiting in the lounge section of the club. Some folks had wandered off to the play area.......... others were snuggled up on the couches ........ and Sir started pinching my nipples or trying to...... i have the fastest hands in the world when it comes to protecting my nipples !!

It all became a little bit silly ... a challenge of sorts. Sir trying to slap my breasts/pinch my nipples and my trying to thwart His attempts. At one point He told me to put my hands on my head. i did.. but quickly brought my elbows down to cover my breasts. i was laughing.. Sir was laughing.. it was all silly and fun.. and relaxing.

Finally Sir told me to take my turtle neck off ....... and then He started in on my breasts in earnest. He was pinching my nipples.. then He grabbed a breast and held it in one hand and slapped it hard with the other........switch breasts repeat.

i asked if He brought the crop........ (and He had) and (shoot me now !!) i asked Him to use the crop. And Sir obliged. More than once managing to hit the nipple dead on.

And then it was over. And i was back in my snuggly warm turtle neck watching everyone else play. (and i promise i will talk about that.......... but not right now)

i felt like the floor had been pulled out from under me... i thought that was the play for the evening.. i thought i might just dig me some worms... i thought - which is what Sir repeatedly tells me - gets me in trouble !! i should not think !!

You know how they say that the mind is the largest sexual organ (or something like that)??? well it works the same way with BDSM....
The minute i started the climb up the stairs to the club my mind was switching gears.... the knots were tightening in my stomach... the body was getting ready.

Entering the club ratchets it up a notch or two............. low lighting....... smell of leather......... equipment on the left....... toy bags spread out like unwrapped gifts holding surprises and thrills

And so when i pulled my turtle neck back on....... the floor fell out from under me.. and i was left virtually shaking from the build up

There were two scenes going on that i watched with interest....... (but i will describe them another time) And i felt my body settle down.. my heart rate decrease and everything felt ok.

Right about then Sir asked me if i was ready to get my ass beaten.

i just kinda stared at Him.......... the heart rate went from 0 - 60 in 3 seconds. Was i ready?? my god YES

And so we moved over to the easel. i kinda held back. There is a step for the submissive to stand on....... and for some reason....... that small step was doing me in. i swallowed my fear and stepped up....... the whole easel is highly polished wood........ and i was in stocking feet. No sooner had i positioned myself on the step/ledge thingy .... my feet started sliding forwards .. threatening to slide right off the ledge. i told Sir.. He said it wouldn't be a problem once He had my ankles firmly fastened to the base. But it didn't work... yeah my feet were fastened to the base.. but i was still sliding downwards........ Sir let me step down and stand firmly planted on the ground. My wrists were fastened firmly to the chain dangling from the top of the easel. And Sir picked up the first toy.

It took - what seemed - forever for me to get into the mind set. i was shaking........ and i honestly don't know why. It just felt weird. People were watching then they walked away. And for some reason....... for the first time ever...... i felt embarrassed by my desire/need for pain............. which of course made it really hard to get into the whole process.

Sir was using the gorean whip (at least i think it was the gorean whip 'cause truthfully i wasn't looking - i had shut my eyes tight and was white knuckling the whole thing)

A hit with the whip went a bit wild and hit too high ........... my no-fly zone. Sir stopped and came over to rub the spot.. but that hit centered me.. the pain was very real and very bad............. but it focused me.. made me snuggle down and get with the program (so to speak) ......... weird how that happened... usually a bad hit like that bangs me down to earth with a vicious thump........ this time it had the exact opposite effect.

And so things went better. Floggers and canes and crops and quirts were used...... and i was past caring what people thought........... this was what i needed/wanted........ it just felt right........

When it was all over........... and i was down off the easel........... and dressed.. i was cold.. very very cold... Sir found a blanket and i wrapped myself in it..... i shivered and shook and couldn't get warm......... that is not a good feeling.... not at all.......... Mistress K came over and started rubbing my body .... fast and furious .. getting the blood flowing again.......... moving from my shoulders down my arms and body to my legs.. and working her way down even my legs......... i appreciated Her care........ but it made me feel awkward too......when Mistress K was rubbing my arms my face was pressed into her breasts and i was inhaling her scent..... and feeling damn awkward and weird and i turned my head so that i wasn't snuggled tight into her breasts...... and it felt like i was making a fuss.. i can't explain it......... but let's just say it added to the whole weird feeling.

Finally the heat returned to my body.......... and by midnight like Cinderella Sir had me in the car heading back to our hotel and the sweet comfort of a warm bed.

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