Monday, December 30, 2019

He's Backkkkkkkkkk

7:45 last night He looked at me and said
"In 15 minutes I want you in the bedroom - naked - bent over the end of the bed"

Do you have any idea what happens in my head while I am watching the clock click down??!!  It has been soooooo long -- I could barely wrap my head around the thought of naked bent over the bed........... 

In 15 minutes I was naked bent over the end of the bed -- my heart pounding -- feeling so exposed -- shy and anxious and needy.

He didn't keep me waiting -- and my ass was soon red and hot and I was swearing and cursing him and loving every single spank....... every single minute!!

(whispering) then I heard the zipper on his jeans ....... and he forced my legs apart and thrust into me hard and fast......... and oh dear god my heart nearly stopped.......... it hurt soooooo good !!

Later hugging him and kissing him... and holding him tight I whispered "my man is back" and he laughed and said "hell yeah!"

Life is good when the man comes back......... 



Sunday, December 29, 2019

Sunday Sentiments

I don't very often talk about the other step child in my life....... Lady is a 7 year old black lab rescue.  

She and I have an interesting relationship - much like I have with the lil one........ except Lady will roll her eyes at me -- mumble and grumble and occasionally pout.  

She loves ... and I mean LOVES.... to visit my eldest daughter because she has 3 rescues....... and the littlest one "Willow" is Lady's best bud!!

The 2 days with a house full of dogs is probably the main reason the following is this Sunday's Sentiment........... 

Life is good when you share it with a dog.

Saturday, December 28, 2019

AND........ it's over

What a busy holiday it was!!  Dear god I am almost glad it is over........ the older I get the more tired the holidays make me.......... 

We had an amazing Christmas Eve and Christmas morning here at home with the lil one..... read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' just before bed on the 24th....... and believe it or not we had to wake the lil one on Christmas morning at 8:00 am!!!  Stockings were opened in bed with Sir Steve and myself....... and Santa brought us warm woolly socks - Papa Bear, Mama Bear and lil bear......... 

We didn't rush opening the gifts - took our time - and nibbled on fresh croissants and jam while we opened them....... we even had some time to relax before packing up the car with goodies and gifts and suitcases and heading off to eldest daughter's ..... 

We had a delightful visit with eldest daughter and son in law -- opened more presents including squirrel socks for me and a squirrel tree ornament (have I told you about the continuing squirrel saga?? ) Feasted on Chinese Food (so not traditional turkey) and spent a fun couple of days with them.

We came home yesterday and the lil one has just left with Sir Steve to go to her mother's for the rest of the Christmas break.  I can't help but think we may have spoiled her a wee bit too much........ by yesterday she was acting a wee bit more entitled than I like....... 

Sir Steve and I now have a week together (fortunately he's off work till the 6th!!) We want to finish the redecorating we started last spring........ and spend some quality time together....... I am even hoping - hope against hope - that maybe.......... Sir Steve will have the inclination to find the spanking toys.

Life is good when the holidays were the best they could have been -- and even better now they're over!!

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Monday, December 23, 2019

Excitement Builds

Yesterday the lil one had a busy day -- which means WE had a busy one too!  

She went shopping with Sir Steve for odds and ends in the morning - and then we had a 'family' bake session.  Actually the recipe I had was an excellent one for younger kiddies to make....... simple enough that they can almost make them themselves!!  Bonus -- they are actually really good!!  Christmas Hugs........

Then mid afternoon - we all headed back to Montreal to have dinner with Sir Steve's son and girlfriend.  (thank god I did ALL that baking cause the son asked if he could have - as his Christmas gift - some of my baked goodies)

BUT the best part of this weekend ....... as far as I am concerned ... I got the best Christmas presents ever!!

More than once over the weekend the lil one said how happy she was to be with us for Christmas - cause that is the REAL Christmas!!  

Then last night -- in a parking lot in the dark waiting for Sir Steve to grab some meds from the drugstore -- the lil one said she wished she didn't have to go to Mom's (tonite through till dinner tomorrow) ....... I asked why and she said "I just want to stay with you and Daddy -- there's no yelling with you ....... and we have so much fun together"........  

AND then.......... we're home snuggled in for the night - lil one tucked into bed -- and I get a message from Sir Steve's son.  (just a little back history - he has pretty much tolerated me up to this point and I got it!  I stayed back and figured when he was ready he would include me/accept me) The message thanked me for the baked goods BUT then he added 'thank you for coming with Dad tonite to have dinner and thank you for all you do for my Dad.  I love you S" ....... 

Life is very good when love fills the air.

Saturday, December 21, 2019


Today we are off to Montreal to celebrate Christmas with youngest daughter and family.   In past years we have gone down on the 24th and stayed until the 26th BUT this year we really want to spend some time at home celebrating Christmas with the lil one in our home....... creating our own Christmas traditions and memories.

I have been seeing a lot....... and I mean a LOT...... about charcuterie boards..... basically they're cheese trays filled with meats and fancy breads and cheeses and fruits.  Everyone helps themselves - making open faced sandwiches or anything they want I guess.  I've never done one before but it beats trying to organise umpteen different hot dishes.... and it's for lunch not supper.  So I have at least 4 different cheeses, smoked salmon, 4 different meats, strawberries, and grapes, and pineapple, 3 different breads, and crackers.  I have nuts and candies and 2 sweet trays.  


I get to drag it all down to Montreal and of course all the presents and then drag all the leftovers home again (cause we're going to Ottawa on the 25th to have Christmas with eldest daughter and leftovers will help with lunches) 

Life is good when it's filled with family fun over the holidays.

Friday, December 20, 2019

And so it begins.......

Last night we had our first 'family Christmas' Adventure -- we went to see Santa and have dinner out.  The lil one was so excited she was (again) literally vibrating!!  She apparently was very clear with Santa about what she wanted --- 4 things -- a fuzzy sweater (something to wear) - a cross stitch set for beginners (something to do) - a cook book (something to read) and a camera (something she really really wants) 
Watching her sit on Santa's knee talking -- seeing the awe in her face just made my heart melt - such a special memory.

About a month ago -- I was at a meeting at the lil one's school and the principal asked if I would come in and do story telling on the last day of school before the Christmas break.  OF COURSE !  I said yes........ story telling is one of my most favourite things to do with kiddies.  The principal ok'd  The Grinch (these days you don't know what's politically correct anymore - ya know?!)  The only glitch was the timing -- it got changed 3 times (the last day of school is a busy day!!)  we went from a civilized time of 11:30 to 8:45.  Thank god I am a morning person.  

The lil one told anyone who would listen that S was coming to school to tell stories.  Her class was the first class and she was vibrating again (grinning) and I got a BIG tight hug as she walked into the story telling area.  It was amazing - honestly!!  The kids were all over me in no time -- hugging me and touching me and talking my ear off.  It took a little while to get them all settled down so I could do the story telling.
Honestly when I left the school I was walking on air.  Story Telling is truthfully my first love.

Life is good when Christmas is close!

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Small things....

I treated myself to a poinsettia today - not just any poinsettia -- but the smallest one I have ever seen.

It makes me so very happy. 


Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Let It Snow

It snowed last night

Soft gentle flakes that floated down and coated the world in soft white glitter

It softened the edges of the world and lifted my spirits

It added magic to an already magical world.

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Recharge Day

I have declared today a 'lazy day'.  My batteries have run down -- way down.

It really has been a busy busy month...... Saturday we ran out shopping to get the needed things to finish the front porch -- then we had company for dinner.  Sunday we drove into Montreal to shop ...... only getting home late in the afternoon.  Yesterday a girlfriend came over and we went out shopping -- 

OH I found an advent wreath - something I looked for in November -- on sale!!  and bought it..... it fits in perfectly with our theme!!! 

and we had lunch out at new cafe here in town -- nice lunch but a tad pricey for what we got!!   

Today ........ well today I just kinda hit the wall.  Too much 'peopling' for me the introvert.  So I am doing laundry and hiding away inside the peace and quiet that is our home.

 Life is good when you can recharge the batteries !


Monday, December 16, 2019

Yes Virginia........

Two and a half months ago the contractor tore down our front porch -- meaning we had no access to our front door -- no numbers on the house and no mailbox.  That began 2 and a half months of challenges!

 We were told 3 weeks to get it all put back together - better than before.  
Well 3 weeks wore on to a month -- then a month and a half.  The contractor complained it was the city's fault -- slow to approve the permits.  WHY? I asked did they tear down the existing porch before they had their permits??!!

The lil one was fussing as much as we were ........ where were we gonna put the Christmas garland and Christmas lights?? How was Santa gonna find the house without the lights and garland??? GAH!!  

Then they showed up one day and worked (half heartedly) and got the foundation water proofed ........ 
AND failed the city inspection!
Two days later they fixed the problems and 2 days after that they passed the inspection.  

YAY!  now they would put our front porch back up right??


They had other jobs on the go and ours seemed to fail to lowest priority.  My blood pressure went up.......... 

The contractor seemed to have no rhyme or reason for work on our house.  He'd show up on a Tuesday do about 4 hours work and leave promising to be back the next day..... we wouldn't see him for 3 or 4 days!

I bribed....... 
I stroked his ego....... 
I bitched........ 
I begged.......... 

Finally I said that the work HAD to be done by the 14th at the latest ........ the contractor nodded at me......... and brushed me off........ We honestly figured it wouldn't be finished until the New Year -- or worse scenario - next spring!

They showed up last Tuesday and worked a full 7 hours!!  et voila -- it was almost done!  We could use the front porch and the front door -- BUT we couldn't put up any lights or garlands as they hadn't put the finishing touches on.  GRRRRRRRRR

Friday they showed up and in less than an hour put the finishing touches on our front porch!  We put the garland and the lights up!  YAY! 
The front yard is a mess of gravel and mud.  The patio stones they laid are mismatched and not square.  At this point we don't care -- we will fix it in the spring.  

On Saturday we ran out and bought a new mailbox and new numbers for the house.  We finally had our front entrance back!!

On Saturday night - our neighbour upstairs came round to tell us he can't get his front door open!  The contractor somehow managed to put the new roof on without allowing for the door to open!!!  He's supposed to be back today to fix it........ maybe we'll see him after the holidays (I have NO faith in his ability to keep his word)


Life is good we finally have a front door again -- with street numbers and a post box
AND Christmas garland and Christmas lights!  Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus!

Saturday, December 14, 2019


It is a very mild morning (+2C about 45F) and it was very early -- still dark early -- I was sitting outside on our new deck (more about that another day) soaking in the peace and quiet and absolute stillness...... letting my mind just wander from thought to thought........ when I had this light bulb moment.

Christmas is almost over -- this sadness crept over me.  Wait!  what did that thought mean - Christmas is almost over ??  it isn't even here yet!!  And I realized Christmas for me is NOT one day -- no no no!!  It's the weeks of preparation -- it's finding the right gift for everyone -- it's baking and cleaning and decorating.  It's Christmas lights and Christmas music and all the decorations in all the stores and on all the homes.  It's the instant smile that appears when you sincerely wish someone a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" -- there's a softness to the edges at this time of year. 

It's making memories whether with a child or with a loved one -- carol singing and tree lighting at city hall -- it's parcels arriving at the door and envelopes with Christmas cards not bills.  

Last night we were sitting quietly watching a Christmas movie and Sir Steve said "the tree is beautiful this year!" words of love by my definition.  He really truly loves this season as much as I do!!  and then he said " This is gonna be a great Christmas!" and I smiled and said "yes it is" and I remembered how he said that last year too!!  

Life is very good when your love knows the secret - Christmas is found in your heart!

Friday, December 13, 2019

Christmas Entertainment

When my girls were little we all looked forward to the Christmas movies/specials on the television every December.  The kids shows always came on at 7 and were done by 8 (a respectable bedtime for lil ones).  The adult Christmas movies were oldies but goodies and we would curl up in front of the fire with popcorn and drinks and watch them with much enthusiasm!

Now a days we tape the children's shows as they go on way past the 8 o'clock bedtime..... the adult movies are corny love stories that make me gag (most of the time).  It's a little disillusioning.  

BUT there is hope.......... last weekend Die Hard was on - definitely not a corny love story -- oh hell  let's be honest -- whoever thought a Bruce Willis shoot 'em up action flick would become a Christmas Hit Movie........ but it has............ 


I love it !!

Last night we watched Miracle on 34th...... it was amazing!  Every bit as good as it was last year ... and the year before that... and the year before that..... 

I'm waiting for Scrooge to come on......... most prefer the black and white original ... I don't much care - black or white - or coloured -- it's a good story (love Dickens!) with an excellent moral (though some miss the point) 

You can keep It's a Wonderful Life -- it never appealed to me for whatever reason - maybe some impatience with George Bailey...... shrug ... not sure but I always seem to lose patience when watching it and find other things to do while it runs.

If I had to pick my all time favourite movie -- it would be ...... wait for it...........

Yes -- The Grinch!  surprised?? I hope not........ it's got everything I love -- Dr. Seuss poetry....... children's logic ....... and this line...

"Maybe Christmas' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas ... perhaps.. means a little bit more!" 

Have you got a favourite Christmas movie? Feel like sharing?

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Making a list......... or is it lists?!

Well I spent some time this morning checking off stuff from my 'to do' list.

The gifts are all bought and mostly wrapped -- CHECK

The baking is done (unless I decide to make another date loaf) -- CHECK
and the almond tarts with the pricey almond paste (read about it HERE)  got made yesterday and DAMN!  they are good if I do say so myself!

Menus for the holidays done -- CHECK

Major house cleaning being done today -- CHECK 

We're coming down to the wire....... I would like all the mundane stuff done by this weekend -- the baking and cleaning and tidying........ and then 'let the fun begin'!!

Fun being -- 
visit to Santa 
Story Telling at the lil one's school
Lunch out with the lil one
Christmas movies with popcorn
Christmas stories
Family Christmas baking (just one batch of 'hugs' cookies that the lil one can virtually make unsupervised

AND the best part .......... in exactly one week and one day Sir Steve is on a 2 week holiday!!  Two whole weeks of family time.... of laughter and loving..... 

Life is very good when Christmas comes without stress or bah humbugs or worries.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Looking forward.......

Today is my last therapy session...... the 'do it yourself' 'heal yourself' therapy.  I can't believe that I have been doing it for 4 months!

It seems appropriate that it is finishing up at the end of the year ya know?!  Some people are thinking about their New Year's Resolutions..... and I am thinking about my new plan for a better life....... not for one year but from here on out.......

I will say - for me - this style of therapy was a good experience.  I have tried a few strategies - like discovering what I want and need and working to have it - and discovered the world didn't come to an end... a lightning bolt didn't come out of the heavens and strike me dead -- and that I actually felt good !!!

I have learned (and am working on) letting other people deal with their issues and realizing all I have to do is support them....... I do NOT have to heal them.  I do not have to make up for all the hurt they have experienced over a life time of hurt.  

AND that it is not my fault if they are unhappy or miserable.

The one thing I haven't quite figured out yet - is letting go of my own past.  You see all these memes/articles about letting go of past relationships... and I do struggle with that.  I have gotten past wanting to get revenge....... I have gotten past wondering where to bury the bodies (cheeky grin) BUT to actually let go of....... not so much.  The hurts ... the mistakes... the loss ....... they are woven into my being.  How do I separate out each individual thread and cut them out of my being?

It is one last thing to discuss with my therapist today....... though deep down inside I think I know the answer.... for me.  I will allow myself to feel the pain they caused... I will not feel guilty of my pain -- or that I let it happen to me.  I will embrace my innocence ... my naivety ... for that is who and what I am.  I trust with an open heart.. I love with a big heart... I believe there is good in the world........ BUT I will grow from the pain and be stronger because of it.

Life is good when you have a plan for life..... 

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Christmas Food Porn edited to fix omissions!


Today is Dec 10th and the Great Online Cookie Exchange.  The list of all the participants is at the bottom of this blog... just click on name for the link.

I have been baking up a storm around here in the last week or so...... have got plans to make some tarts today (yes gonna attempt the Almond Tarts) and tomorrow maybe I'll have to time to make some caramel shortbread (it sounds so decadent!)  I'm saving chocolate peppermint blossoms for the 22nd cause the lil one will be with us till New Year's (YAY!) and the lil one would like a 'family baking day'.

Anyway - moving on to the topic at hand.........

I am only going to post one recipe -- BUT if one of the pictures catches your fancy - leave me a message or drop me an email (see form on right) and I will be glad to pass along the recipe.  

These are peppermint meringues.........

these are mocha crinkles......

these are Rosenmunnar OR Swedish thumb prints

these are rum balls (next time I make them gonna put a whole lot less rum!)

these are my grandmother's shortbread.....

and last but definitely not least!!  Cherry Cake.  The recipe is from Newfoundland -- first time I have made it and OMG!  it is soooooooo good!!  I cut it into 4 parts and froze 3 and we devoured one in less than a week! 

Recipe for the Cherry Cake:

Prep Time 30 mins

Cook Time 1 hr

Newfoundland Cherry Cake is a big local favourite especially during the Holidays. The secret in this recipe is undiluted evaporated milk for added richness. 

Servings: 32 Servings (1 large cake or 2 smaller 8x4 inch loaves) 

  • 1 pound chopped glace cherries + 1/4 cup flour (2 cups)
  • 1 ½ cups butter
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp almond extract
  • 3 cups flour
  • 1 ½ tsp baking powder
  • 1 cup lukewarm undiluted evaporated milk

1.     Rinse the cherries in a colander to remove any syrup that they may have been stored in. Pat them day between layers of paper towels.This step helps prevent the cherries sinking into the batter as well. Depending on their size, cut them into halves or quarters and set aside for later. They will get tossed in 1/4 cup of flour later but not until just before they are folded into the batter.
2.     Cream together the butter and sugar well.
3.     Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition until light and fluffy.
4.     Beat in the vanilla and almond extracts.
5.     Sift together the 3 cups of flour and baking powder.
6.     Fold dry ingredients into the creamed mixture alternately with the lukewarm milk, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. As a general rule, I add the dry ingredients in 3 portions and the milk in 2 portions.
7.     Fold in the chopped glace cherries that have been tossed at the last minute in the 1/4 cup flour.
8.     Bake in greased and floured spring form pan, tube pan or 2 loaf pans, lined with parchment paper. Bake at 325 degrees F for 45 minutes - 1 hour depending upon the size of your pan.
9.     Baking times vary greatly on this recipe so rely on the toothpick test to ensure that it is properly baked. When a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, its done. Be careful not to go past this stage or the cake will be dry.
10.Let the cake cool in the pan/s for 10 minutes before turning it out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

NB - I made 2 loaf pans and it took over an 1 hour and 15 minutes to bake. 

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