Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Spring has Sprung???

Yesterday -- early -- I was outside on the front deck and I heard it........ the first sign of spring.  The geese flying overheard - returning for the summer!

Then this morning I came across this on Facebook and thought it really is a pretty true statement -- we've had teens (and some adults) running around in shorts this past week !! 

 And apparently the sap is running in the maple trees -- The lil one goes to the best school EVER!!  they have been tapping their maple trees this week.  They all got to taste the sap straight from the tree (via the tap) and will be boiling it to make maple syrup!!  Sir Steve tells me that last year they had a pancake breakfast and the kiddies got to use their own maple syrup.  What a learning experience!!

And -- by Friday we will have more snow ............ now that is a typical Canadian spring....  


Tuesday, February 27, 2018

No Apology

I will not apologize for yesterday's blog.  I have always said this is my blog -- where I write out my fears ... my hopes... my dreams.  

I understand some..... most??... of you may not agree with me..... that's ok! You have that right -- the same way as I have the right to feel the way I feel.  I do not write fantasies .... I do not just write the 'good stuff'.... I write about my life ..... and sometimes it's dark and sad and sometimes it's the best place to be..... most of the time it's a combination of both.

I do take exception to being told I sound ungrateful.  Really???  Ungrateful for what??  You can not read bits and pieces of my life here and think you really truly know me!  AND to make those accusations behind the mask of "anonymity"  (shaking head).  Unlike a few women I have known -- I support myself ..... I do not look to a man to complete me.  I do not collect men.  I do not NEED a man.  You can take your 'ungrateful' comment
 and ................................. 

Monday, February 26, 2018



pretty much describes our life ........... 

We are a family -- he works to pay the bills -- I cook and clean and do child care - and take care of my expenses.  At night we're so tired we fall into bed .... whisper in each other's ear for a while then fall asleep -- get up the next day and do it all again.

I'm an outsider -- no matter how you slice it -- I am an outsider.  I have no voice with the lawyers -- or Youth Protection.  The other family treats me like I have the plague 
And sometimes so does the lil one.  Sometimes he doesn't see how much this hurts me 

I don't look for kinky activities anymore -- cause ya know -- it's not as good if I feel it's just for me.  Not as good at all.

I ask myself -- is this life now?  and I know it is.  Now I need to adjust my thought processes -- find my way in this reality -- that truthfully always was the reality -- only I am a dreamer -- always have been.

I love this man I call Sir Steve -- nothing can or will change that.  It's just my dreams I have to adjust --- so they meld better with the reality.




Saturday, February 24, 2018

Lazy Start

It's been a lazy start to our Saturday -- coffee and breakfast in front of the television.... and it feels so damn good!

Sir Steve has just left to go do a minor reno for a client -- then when he gets home we're off to look at freezers....... 

It's gonna be a quiet lazy Saturday -- and that is a good thing!

Friday, February 23, 2018

Freedom !!

The lil one just left for school -- and then off to her mother's for the weekend

Can you see me doing the happy dance??!!  
(which doesn't mean I don't like the child -- it just means I am SO ready for some time off 'parenting'.)

We are free this weekend to do what we want.... whatever we want --  YAY!!  We're gonna sleep in -- shop for a freezer -- and finally get to have our romantic Valentine's dessert..... (chocolate fondue)

I bought this for 'us' long before I knew we wouldn't be alone over the Valentine's weekend.... (cause mother doesn't give us any warning dontcha know -- and yes I sound bitter)

I am off this morning to buy some strawberries and bananas and whatever other delicacies that I can find. 

Then home to do some pampering and primping to be all ready for Sir Steve and our weekend together.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Just Life

It's just been a week of "life as usual" ...... I have been stressing over the fact I couldn't find a doctor and my prescriptions needed to be refilled -- BUT -- wonders of wonders!  the local walk in clinic will renew prescriptions if you bring in a list from the drugstore.  I went and did it yesterday -- and I shouldn't have stressed so hard over it -- it was a simple 20 minute procedure.

Of course because I had been stressing for a couple of weeks -- and have this major 'white coat' syndrome -- when they took my blood pressure yesterday it was very high.  Then of course my mind went to the youngest daughter's MIL who had a stroke about a month ago -- and my ex-husband who is on the list for a double by-pass surgery.  And truthfully I had myself dead and buried by the end of this week.

This morning I went to my lil apartment and picked up my blood pressure machine (cause yeah I do have high blood pressure -- though controlled with meds) and took my BP.  It was normal today -- 120/83 ...... but that's me -- stress is definitely gonna kill me.

AND the things I stress over........ 

Sir Steve took the lil one to have her hair cut on the weekend -- it was almost to her bum -- but so unhealthy!!  thinning drastically the farther down her back it went -- and split ends like you wouldn't believe.  They cut off a good 7 inches.  BUT then I started stressing -- I had been nattering about her hair -- and maybe Sir Steve only got it cut to shut me up!!  And the mother (who has been away for the last 3 weeks) is gonna throw a hissy fit when she sees it.... and it's all my fault !!!

AND I have noticed that the lil one has been shutting down -- when she reads and hits a word she doesn't know... sometimes over simple questions we will ask her -- and when she shuts down she looks like she's in trouble or that someone is gonna yell at her or beat her (it makes me SO sad!!)  I figured it was all my fault -- that I am putting too high expectations on her..... 

Well her report card came home on Tuesday -- and it was a GREAT report -- but interesting enough the teacher commented twice about how she shuts down .... and they will work on her confidence.  I should have known that!!  She wants to please -- wants to get it right --- we need to work on her confidence too...... I wonder if -- she has always been told how pretty she is -- how cute she is -- and it annoys me -- she doesn't DO anything to earn that praise -- but when it comes to learning she has to DO something..... she's getting it -- I know she is!  BUT I do wish people would stop telling lil girls how cute they are -- like that is the only thing that counts -- their appearance! We don't normally do that with lil boys.

AND then Sir Steve wanted to investigate a grocery company that supplies excellent quality meat and groceries for a monthly fee.  I was ok with the idea -- IF it was gonna save us money for sure !!  The guy came last night.... I started getting cranky/stressing when the appointment kept getting changed from 7 to 7:30 -- then 7:45 and he didn't show up till 8.  AND then I realized I would have to order meat for a year!!!  and on the spot... like right then!!  The guy kept telling me it would be easy he would help -- Sir Steve kept telling me to relax -- but I stressed -- what if I got the wrong amount of meat...... and we ran out half way through the year??!!

Long and short of it is -- I did my best estimate of how much meat we need from each of the categories (steak/hamburger/pork etc) it is gonna be cheaper (I think) than buying it from the stores -- AND it will mean less trips to the grocery store for me -- and better quality ... and and and........... now I just have to stop stressing and trust it will all work out ....... and at worst we live with it for a year and never do it again!!

OH and yesterday I weighed myself......... I didn't need to cause I knew I had put on weight -- can tell by the way my clothes are fitting me..... 
BUT it's been so nice not to think about food ya know?? not to stress over my eating habits........ BUT the scales told the truth -- I have put on 20 pounds in a year!!  TWENTY POUNDS!!!  OMG I thought I was gonna be sick........and just like someone flicked a switch -- I lost my appetite........... totally gone! 

I went back to the food plan I used to use -- entered every single piece of food that went in my mouth -- ate dinner with Sir Steve and the lil one and when I closed the day down -- the program told me I wasn't eating enough calories.......... (sigh) here I go again......... 

That has been my week -- and it's only Thursday!!  Life is indeed a great balancing act.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Getting there

For most of my life I was shut down when I tried to talk -- when I tried to express my thoughts/feelings/emotions.  From being ignored .... being told I was overly emotional -- to the best one -- being labelled a 'bratty sub' or being told I wasn't a good sub (because I always had an opinion or a question)

And so I learned it was pointless to talk about the things that were important to me.  

Sir Steve has been encouraging me to open up.... it's been a long haul.  But I did trust him enough to start opening up.  I was thinking it was a bit like peeling an onion -- but that's not a good analogy as the center of the onion is usually the worst bit -- we are getting past the worst bits in the outer layers -- so I hold out hope that it will get easier and easier ........

After Friday's blog ....... Sir Steve commented on it -- and we had a talk.  I explained (no matter how silly it sounded -- or how difficult it was to find the words)  that when we have the lil one we both take on different personas.... and we land up being collectively "the parents".  I don't feel very sexy -- or very subbie -- or very comfortable doing any 'adult' activity.  I pointed out that Sir Steve takes on the 'daddy' role -- 'daddy voice'  and it does a number on my head.  (and maybe his head too)

Saturday the lil one had a birthday party to go to -- and Sir Steve planned on taking her for a hair cut when it was done.  I decided not to go with them.  I don't HAVE to always tag along ya know?  I am NOT the mother -- not the parent -- I am "JUST S" as we say.  So I stayed home and watched the olympics and stayed in a good mind set.

Saturday night -- after the lil one was settled in bed -- Sir Steve went into our bedroom and pulled out the pervertables I had bought (for pussy torture) and his knife.  Then he came out to me and held out his hand........ 

He even closed the bedroom door which made me feel more secure -- made me feel more connected to him believe it or not............. 

We played for over an hour ...... and he used THE knife !  

I have been waiting for an evening of knife play for -- like -- for EVER!  I was contented and purring.

Sunday was a busy 'family' day.  We went to Montreal to run some messages -- saw a 'tank' demo and then popped into visit youngest daughter and family before heading home.  I really didn't hold out much hope for any sex on Sunday night -- we were both tired....... and in that 'parent mind set'.  

BUT again Sir Steve came to me early and took my hand and we went to bed and had some pretty kinky sex.......... 

Yesterday he made a cheeky comment that not only had we had GREAT sex BUT we had played too !!!

I still need to work on my mind set when we are in family mode ........ but I know .. KNOW... that when I voice how I am feeling I am heard ...... and Sir Steve will work hard with me to change the feelings.

AND that ..... my dear friends........ is a very good thing!

Monday, February 19, 2018

Family Day

Today is a holiday here in parts of the Great White North - Family Day.

I have declared it MY day off........... 

Tomorrow I will tell you all about the weekend - but for today it's my day of rest.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Sunday Sentiments

I found a new 'page' on Facebook -- to say it surprised me would be putting it mildly  -- god I loved it !!!  Here's a sample for my Sunday Sentiments.............


Saturday, February 17, 2018


Well it's not Friday -- but ya get the point.  It's the weekend -- time to make stories for next week..........

Only we still have the lil one with us AND it's a long weekend here -- Monday is 'family day' (another holiday I don't get --- family day?? shouldn't every day be family day?? ahhh well I'm old and cantankerous)

I bought some new 'toys' on Friday -- well pervertables as they are called -- and as I walked around the store with them in my basket -- my mind was creating the world's best fantasies based around the new toys...... making it hard to focus on my shopping -- and hard to ignore the heat that was building in my body.

I showed Sir Steve when he got home on Friday night -- and he grinned -- and I think his mind went to some great fantasies too -- but the bag was shoved into my lingerie cupboard and the door closed.  It will wait.

What we WILL do this weekend is take the lil one to a birthday party and run some messages on Sunday - and probably vegetate on Monday........  

Friday, February 16, 2018


Nooooo not my marriage....... my eldest daughter is getting married again.  After many years of being single (after a horrible first marriage) she has found (and I am quoting here) the love of her life!  That statement made my heart happy.  He's a wonderful man -- and such a good fit with her!  

Isn't it every mother's wish -- to see their children settled and happy ??

This wedding is going to be so very different from the first one -- the one that was meant to impress ...... I'm not much for impressing people.  This wedding is going to be held at the campgrounds this summer.  Casual and intimate and (I think) so much more meaningful.

I volunteered to help do the decorations (and some of the organising). This project has given me something to do during these last dark days of winter.  A fun happy project that feeds my 'arty farty' side.  I have been prowling the net finding ideas for rustic weddings........ and they can be gorgeous!!  Simple but nonetheless gorgeous.

I found a number of ideas 

like this one

the box will painted lilac (according to eldest daughter) and will hold bug spray -- the black board will read "Smitten - not Bitten"....... 

Then I am gonna have another box filled with sparklers and another blackboard that will read "Love Sparkles". (or something like that)

I am gonna hang mason jars from the trees with candles in them....... 

And we're gonna buy Lobelia in the spring -- 

pot them and have them in pots to line the 'wedding tent'....sorta like this......

A friend from the campgrounds -- when she heard about the wedding -- offered a whole bolt of Tulle that she doesn't need/want .........  

OHHHHH it's going to be wonderful to have a wedding to plan -- look forward to...... winter blahs are gonna dissipate in the flurry of arty farty marriage plans!

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Blow back

I got some 'blow back' on my post yesterday.  I found it a bit interesting -- I posted the same pic on Facebook -- and most of the 'likes' were males.

I personally do not like Valentine's day.  I don't understand why we need one day of the year to tell someone we love them..... or one day to be romantic.... it's like the celebration is for those who need 'reminding' ...... what's that about??!!  I don't need to be reminded to tell anyone I love them -- nor do I need one day to be romantic. 

I don't know if any of you know that in 2002 -- in reaction to Valentine's Day and the pressure to buy chocolate and flowers and cards for their women -- some men declared March 14th Steak and Blow job Day.  They even have a website....... click here if you're curious.......   This holiday hasn't hit 'main stream' per say -- no Hallmark cards yet! I just know I do not need one special day a year to give my man a blow job or cook his favourite food (cheeky grin) It's a regular activity around this house.

OH and while I am on the subject -- I am not nearly clever enough to write prose or flowery poetry for Sir Steve (or anyone else I give a card to).  I too frequent the card shops and read through every card to find just the right one!  Just not on Valentine's Day........ 

For the record -- I did give both Sir Steve and the lil one a 'Valentine's Day' card/gift last evening.............. spent the day baking............... 

And the sentiments in the card Sir Steve gave me said"
The greatest privilege of my life is loving you"

Don't forget -- for those of you who received sentimental cards, chocolate and flowers yesterday -- one month from now -- March 14th is Steak and BJ Day...


Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

It's All in My Head

February brings out the worst of my 'seasonal affective disorder'  

Yesterday I texted Sir Steve and asked if he would 'make love' to me ...... I didn't want 'kinky run around the house naked ropes and spanks' sex -- I wanted him to hold me and make love to me. 

And we did -- make love that is........ and it was good -- not scream the roof off good -- not tears streaming down my cheeks good -- but it was good.

When I assumed we were finished -- and I started to wiggle over so he could snuggle in beside me -- he said "We're not finished yet!" 

4 little short clipped words and my world changed..... my knees went weak -- my belly tightened -- my heart pounded.

And he claimed me and made me his -- again -- and I knew I was safe and I belonged and the world was calm...... and I was centered.

AND it was more than good!

Monday, February 12, 2018


'It was the best of times -- it was the worst of times'

We had a good weekend -- going up to the campgrounds on Saturday for their Winter Fest ....... hot dogs and hot chocolate and skating.......... our poor trailer is just about buried..... but no vandalism ...... which is a good thing....... 

Sunday Sir Steve and the lil one went on a 'date' to see the movie 'Ferdinand (the bull)' ..... the lil one thought the concept was interesting 'going on a date' and asked - with a giggle - if they would kiss.

That was the outward scenario of our life -- what the world saw............


my head was going 'hmmmmmmmm ...........

1) thinking 'family -- hmmmmmmmmm '
you can't trust two faced people -- don't trust 2 faced people -- wondering WHY when family shows their true colours they think I am too stupid to notice??!!

2) thinking 'on being an adult -- hmmmmmmmmm'
 about people who do not -- refuse? -- to take adult responsibility for their lives ........ not paying bills -- relying on social programs to support them -- pleading 'woe is me' .... taking the easy way out .......... and my thinking 'fuck !  just grow some balls and take responsibility'   Blaming everyone else for their problems.......

3) thinking 'child custody -- hmmmmmmmmmm '
why am *I* so bent out of shape about the delays -- about the lying the mother does -- about the courts and CAS not seeming to care -- or want to close this case

4) thinking 'social life -- hmmmmmmmmm'
it really is exhausting to have a social life / friends and try and keep everyone happy -- try and respect people's privacy -- life would be so much easier if the world would leave me alone -- and I could stop trying to keep all the plates spinning and balanced in the air.

 5) Thinking ' job done -- hmmmmmmmmm' 
lil one knows her address, her phone number - her father's name -- knows how to do chores -- is completely age appropriate -- my job is done now.

6) Thinking ' so very tired -- hmmmmmmmmm'
 lil one has been fed ideas again -- saying 'you guys can NOT get married' (we haven't any plans to ever marry officially) and she has been putting up walls between her and I -- pulling away from me -- normal behaviour for a child who believes someone will be leaving

Life in general makes me go 'hmmmm' -- some days I just feel I don't have the energy to 'play the games'..... to make myself fit in ..... to make myself look/feel normal

Today is just a 'hmmmmmmmmm' day

Friday, February 09, 2018

One Thing After Another......

Sometimes I just get overwhelmed ........ and that's where I am right now........

Sometimes life just gets too much for me to deal with.

Sometimes I feel like I am pulled in so many different directions -- too many different directions.

Sometimes I feel like I need a break from life.

Thursday, February 08, 2018

Gold Star???

We had MOUNDS of snow yesterday !!!  Last evening our neighbour (god bless him) shoveled out our front walk.  This morning I had to thank him... but he is either shy or reclusive and I didn't want to embarrass him.  So I packed up some of my homemade butterscotch cookies - attached a 'thank you' note and popped it in his mail box.

Then I went out back to our parking area.  Snow up to HERE!!  I brought the dog's rope...... tied her up out the back so she could romp around in the deep snow -- stupid dog LOVES deep snow -- loves pouncing in it.   And while she played and ran and leaped and pounced...... I shoveled.

And shoveled........... 

And shoveled......... 

Until I finally cleared the whole back parking area.......... 

the back pathway

  the parking area 

Then the dog who really thought we were gonna for a ride in the car started whining and 'talking to me' so I popped her in the car and drove down to my apartment to pick up the mail and check the place over (all was good!)  

Then home for a hot coffee for me and bed for the dog (she hasn't moved since we came in!!) 

Now don't you think this sweet lil subbie deserves a gold star (cheeky grin)

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Making Friends

I had a submissive contact me on Fetlife ( I think I told you about it) .... and we made plans to meet for lunch on Monday.

I don't know why but it always surprises me when someone reaches out to me to be friends.  

We met in town and had a great lunch -- honestly it felt like we had known each other for a long time.  It helped that we have a common friend ..... BUT I made a new friend !!  YAHOO!!  

and we agreed to meet again for lunch......... 


Sir Steve is thinking about starting  a discussion group/social group??? I am not sure of the right term -- but inviting folks around to the house for coffee and snacks -- we could talk or watch some BDSM movies...... maybe go out for dinner once in awhile ...... that sort of thing.  "Muse" is very interested in participating.  We have a couple coming over this evening for coffee and we hope they will be interested .......... 

In this town there is another group -- but it is mostly swingers who play at kink.  Sir Steve and I are looking for more -- BDSM in the purest of forms?? - for lack of a better term.

Whatever happens I have made a new friend !!  And that is a very good thing!

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Colour me Surprised

We drove to Montreal on the weekend for eldest daughter's birthday.  Watching the scenery fly by the window I realized my voices had been quiet for -- like forever.  I was kinda surprised I hadn't noticed sooner ....... I don't really even know when they went quiet.  BUT they have.

I kinda thought I would notice the quiet ya know -- when it went quiet.  They have been nattering inside my head for most of my life..... and yet when they went quiet I didn't even notice!

There are no more 'tsk tsks' when I do something I want to do that runs contrary to the way I was raised.  There are no more ' you should have... you could have.. '  There are no more 'how stupid can you be??!!' nothing absolutely nothing........ quiet.

I remembered at Christmas -- Christmas day night actually -- my youngest commenting on how calm I had been -- and she asked me (seriously believe it or not) if I had taken pills to calm me down...... NOOOOO ..... this is the new me !!!  


I don't really know when that happened either.  But I am calmer -- so much calmer.

Even when episodes reoccur with the mother -- I can now identify the emotions I am going through -- mostly anger and outrage mixed with frustration.  She is breaking laws -- playing the system -- and I don't understand that -- how someone can do that.  Some of my life is still very black and white.... good and bad.... right and wrong.  (and honestly I don't want that to change.  I believe life .. the world... would be a much calmer.. more pleasant place to live ... if people followed the basic rules and laws)

And the other thing that has twisted round in my life -- I actually ask for things I want... ok ok still hesitantly -- but I ASK.  And when things aren't right in my world -- I actually speak up -- relatively calmly -- and explain how I am feeling.

THAT is a huge thing!!

Sir Steve has worked very hard to help me see -- to help me understand -- that I am worthy of being loved -- that I am a capable, self sufficient woman -- that I deserve to be heard -- that I can 'do this'!  

All of this is a very good thing!! 



Monday, February 05, 2018

Selfish Me

We had an amazing weekend (mostly).

We had sex on Saturday afternoon -- then pizza in bed for supper (well not really in bed -- too messy -- but we had pizza and then headed back to bed)  We had sex on Sunday and my heart was so full ya know.... it has been my fantasy to spend a whole weekend in bed making love -- so yeah it was amazing.

There was no play though -- no whips and floggers and paddles oh my!!  Sir Steve had said (promised?) that there would be knife play -- and as the weekend passed I realized there'd be no knife play -- and I felt a little selfish ya know -- I had so much to be thankful for -- and still I wanted MORE.  Sir Steve with a devilish grin said on Sunday afternoon 'the weekend isn't over yet'.... so I held out hope that the knives would come out Sunday night after the lil one was tucked safely into bed.

BUT when he came home from picking up the lil one he said "wanna have a smoke?" which is code for 'come out on the front deck -- we have to talk'.  My heart sank.  I knew the bubble I had been living in all weekend was about to be popped.  

And it was

Mother is going away AGAIN for 3 weeks.... and we have the lil one for the next two weekends -- no more privacy -- no more adult time.

And the problem with that is mainly we change -- Sir Steve becomes Daddy first and lover is somewhere down the long list of priorities.. I become 'Just S' and the chief cook and bottle washer around here.   AND the whips and floggers don't come out when she is home -- I don't even dream about them.  It's been so long since they came out -- it seems it takes us time to change back from a vanilla couple raising a 5 year old to a sexually charged kinky couple.

The really stupid thing -- the knives didn't come out...... I am sure because I was so f**king stressed/upset/depressed over the loss of adult time and Sir Steve didn't know how to handle it.... and that just made me more upset!!  BUT if he had taken me to bed last night and brought the knives out and played with me -- my mood would have lifted so fast....... cause it would mean he saw a way of creating adult time for us even with the lil one at home.

AND before anyone jumps on me and says I should have asked for it......... I had asked for the knives (which is a BIGGY for me asking for something I need/want) I wasn't going to ask again

Now we plan 'adventures' for the lil one ......... our adult adventures are put on the back burner yet again........... and that is not a happy thing for me 

and yeah

maybe I am a selfish bitch.

Saturday, February 03, 2018

Loving Tears

Where his hands touch - my skin is on fire.... my heart races...... my body arches.... I crave the taste of his skin.  He fills me up -- and it almost hurts -- the need, the love. 

In that moment the world stops and I am his completely and totally.  

and a tear of joy slides down my cheek .......for this man touches my very soul and completes me.

Friday, February 02, 2018

WTF!!! (small rant)

(and because some people get bent out of shape over stuff I write -- this is MY opinion and only my opinion!  You don't have to agree with me)

I have been back on Fetlife these past couple of days -- because another sub and I are arranging a lunch date on Monday.

Today when I popped on I saw a post by someone I know (who for the record is a male submissive) ...... about how 'male' submissives should be "paying" the Dominant they play with........ 

Pay you ask??!!  yup P A Y !!  with service -- like cutting her lawn or shoveling her snow or fixing a leaky faucet........ AND it should be done before any play ensues because the sub will never actually pay the service once played with.

W T F !!??

I HATE double standards -- and this reeks of double standards.

Not 5 years ago I witnessed the 'black balling' of a male Dominant for demanding 'payment' for play.  He was figuratively tarred and feathered and dragged around the community for all to see and go TSK TSK

I went tsk tsk too -- because ya know -- play is play !!  It shouldn't require any sort of payment ........ that makes it a Pro Dom situation no???

One of the reasons I have left Fetlife and the public community is because so many poor lil female subs are crying "rape" or "non-consensual" play -- and pointing fingers at Doms and everyone gets bent of shape because some poor helpless female just got taken advantage of............... makes my blood boil!!  BUT it is ok for a female Domme to demand service before play??!!!!

When I played with Doms at parties (other than my Dom) I did offer service before and after - service equaled fetching them drinks or snacks ....nothing more nothing less.  AND I never played with any Dom who expected payment.   After all don't they get enjoyment out of playing?? mutual enjoyment should be reward enough no??? 

IF I give you a gift -- I do not expect a gift in return -- a 'thank you' is nice -- but a gift? NO..... I gave the gift because of the pleasure it gave me to do something nice..... and to see the pleasure on your face.

This journal entry this morning on Fetlife just proves to me -- once again -- why I have no patience with Fetlife -- or patience with the new mentality of the BDSM players.

(rant over -- putting away my soap box)


Thursday, February 01, 2018

Teachable Moments

There was no school yesterday for the lil one.  Usually PA days (as they call them around here) are on a Friday -- sometimes a Monday -- so the lil one stays with her mom.  Wednesday no school day kinda screws up that plan.

I made up my mind if we were both gonna survive this day I had to have a plan.... children's TV shows tend to give me a headache (seriously) and make me cranky.  So I postponed baking day to Wednesday.

First we made butterscotch squares -- and then we made a new recipe Banana Chocolate Chip cookies.  The lil one LOVES the cookies -- thank god!!  cause I think they are disgusting.

Baking proved to be a teachable moment.  I was reading out loud the ingredients -- so 1 1/4cups of flour -- 1/8 tsp of salt etc.  The lil one was soon reading the numbers on the measuring spoons.  It was a natural segue to a small math lesson.  We talked about 1/4 means it takes 4 whatevers to make 1 whole ........ 1/3 means it takes 3 whatevers to make 1 whole.  She seemed fascinated by the idea -- so we carried it through to dividing pizza to feed the family -- sharing apples etc.  Turned out to be a fun time........... 

Then when the cookies were in the oven baking -- and it was time to wash up the cooking dishes -- I called the lil one from playing to come and help.  She pulled her stool up to the sink and as I washed the dishes she rinsed them and put them on the tray to dry.  At one point she started giggling and said "I am Cinderella and you are the wicked stepmother"....... We both had a good laugh over that and I chased her around the kitchen to tickle her saying "here comes the wicked stepmother!!"

After lunch we played a new game she got from "Santa" called 'Bouncing Monkeys' -- the premise is to catapult your plastic monkeys  onto the tree leaves .........not an easy game -- but it did make us laugh.

Finally Dad came home ........ and I collapsed on the sofa.  There is a reason I retired early from teaching !!  8 hours entertaining a lil one is EXHAUSTING .. even if it is fun.

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