Tuesday, October 09, 2018

Worrying Time

I am due for my cancer test this Thursday.  I have/had bladder cancer.  I'm never sure if it is past tense or present tense.  5 years ago they found a big tumor that they removed in surgery.  Since then - when I go for the re-tests - they mostly find small spots that can be removed by laser immediately.  

Sounds easy right?

Yeah except they put the tube with camera inside me without any freezing....... and they do the laser zapping without any freezing.

it hurts like hell !!

The last time - a year ago - he found a 'wrinkle'.  He said it didn't look like cancer -- looked just like a wrinkle -- but better safe than sorry he said.  It took 10 - TEN - zaps to eradicate the 'wrinkle'. 

This Thursday Sir Steve will drive me back to Kingston (cause I love my oncologist and can't imagine starting with someone new).  Sir Steve says everything will be fine.... probably will be.  Nothing more than what I have already been through -- but I still stress.  Whoever says you forget pain didn't have bladder cancer...... didn't go through the tests or removal.  I am not worrying about whether they find it again -- but worried about the pain I endure......... too bad being a masochist doesn't extend to every sort of pain........ 

All that to say -- if I am quiet for the next couple of days -- it's because I don't have anything to write about -- and one post on worry per test is my limit.

Good thoughts ..... prayers... good vibes would be appreciated.......... 


  1. Post cancer checkups ... bah! ... always a worry ... whether its for the checkup procedure itself or the potential for adverse results. Frank had his 2 weeks ago. All is good. Hope all is well with you as well, Morningstar! ... nj

  2. Sending positive thoughts and vibes Morningstar. Post cancer checks are worrying. My mother had bladder cancer and had regular checks and removal of cells. Will be thinking of you.


  3. These tests are always worry. Thinking of you.



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