Over the last year I have noticed some minor changes in the lil one's body....
It started with a couple of pimples on her face.... I pointed them out to her and suggested she start washing properly with soap and water. (cause we all know kids tend to slap some water on their face - run their hands under the tap and call it done!)
Then I noticed - occasionally - that she seemed to have some 'budding' happening in the breast area.......... though it was minor and not that easy to spot..... I wondered.
Then I noticed this spring that she seemed to have grown a foot! mainly cause the seat on her bike needs to be raised..... the legs are much longer and the body shape is changing.
I decided Sir Steve and I needed to talk...... at first he had that look Dads get when they think their daughters may actually be growing up..... then he agreed .. and we agreed it was probably time to start having THE talk. BUT I wasn't so sure I wanted to be part of this......... I (silly me!) actually thought the mother might want to have THE talk. BUT because of a number of things.... Sir Steve said he would rather this learning be initiated here........so the teacher in me suggested we find a book.. .an age appropriate book. (Amazon is my friend!)
The book we ordered is "Celebrate Your Body" - a body positive book
It arrived over the weekend and Sir Steve and I took a look at it. We were both really impressed with the chapters and the philosophy behind it.
Yesterday when the lil one finished school - Sir Steve brought out the book to show her. I was expecting shyness... push back.. anything but what she displayed......... EXCITEMENT!!
So yup - she's ready to start having THE talk :) We read the first chapter together... I wanted to take a back seat in this discussion - cause ya know - not the mother mentality... BUT as fate would have it - the garage called for Sir Steve to pick up his car mid way through the first chapter. He left and I sat down and finished the first chapter with her.
I was so impressed with the way the book tackled the subject of puberty... straight talk - proper terms.. stressing how one should never compare their "puberty journey" to anyone else........ and for me the best part was when they said 'notice how we don't use the term beautiful? or pretty? cause what's on the outside of your body is not important - it's what's on the inside - kindness and love and caring - that's what's important!
Towards the end of the chapter they suggest that 'you find a trusted adult - someone you can talk to'. I stopped the reading and asked the lil one "who could be your trusted adult?" She immediately answered "Daddy and you". (pat answer right?) So I said 'what about another trusted adult - someone else?" and she hummed and hawed and finally mumbled "maybe grandma" (mother's mother) the words just kinda hung there for a minute - I was wondering if she would add "mommy" but the next words surprised me...... She blurted out "but I would really rather just have you and daddy". I brought up mommy and she just shook her head and said "nope". So we settled on Daddy and S would be her trusted adults.
Later as I was preparing dinner I was feeling warm and fuzzy...... the lil one labelled us as 'trusted adults'..... HER trusted adults........ it felt pretty good ya know? affirmation that we're not so bad as parents - that *I'm* not so bad as the wicked stepmom.
Life is good when your role is validated :)