Monday, January 28, 2008

Ruffles have ridges..

On the weekend i did a post about the defense of white cotton panties against the nasty wooden paddle........wayne left a comment saying he wanted to see pictures of my red ass......... that got me to thinking... sometimes i find it downright boring / repetitive to write about the sessions - be it with a paddle or a flogger or a cane. After all how many different ways can one write the same damn thing??? and how many pictures of naked red asses does one have to see??? (obviously there are some that think it is never enough) So....... for those of you who really want to see my red ass.. Sir has posted a picture of it..... after a shopping trip on Sunday......

Now that was kinda weird... i was wedding dress shopping with youngest daughter and her maid of honour and Sir was shopping for pervertables...... geeeeeez.. some people have all the fun !!!! (you can decide who had the fun !!)

Besides the flexible ruler from hell that Sir purchased to make me smile........ (what happened to 'flowers are a girl's best friend'??) Sir bought some clothes pegs.. now honestly folks.. how many sets of clothes pegs does one Dominant need??!!! Again, obviously, there are some who think there is never enough!!!

And Ruffles aren't the only things with ridges......... take a half dozen or so clothes pegs with ridges.. clamp to pussy lips et voila pussies have ridges too !!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Paddle

i love wooden paddles - don't ask me why .. don't ask me how....... but wooden paddles have to be my favourite toy ever!! Sir received a beautiful wooden paddle about 6 or so Christmases ago......... and the very first time He used it on my ass.. it broke. (well Sir says *i* broke it - i of course claim HE broke it across my ass because He hit so hard!!)

After Sir broke that paddle we went in search of a paddle that wouldn't break across my ass........ and now we have 2....... one is actually a BIG wooden spatula we bought at a Kitchen shop .. that i sanded and stained... it is heavy and packs quite a whallop !!!

But truthfully my all time favourite paddle is the one Sir purchased at our local BDSM/Kinky shop Il Bolero.

Yesterday morning Sir ordered the Bolero paddle be brought upstairs.......... and i went weak in the knees thinking about..... It has been a long time since Sir has used the paddle on my ass.. and i was worrying my stamina .. my ability to handle it .. my love of the paddle might have waned.............

Add to that an embarrassment i have endured this weekend - the need to wear panties .... (don't ask !!!) i wasn't exactly in the mind set for a paddling.........

BUT Sir is rarely deterred by my embarrassments or my wimpy-ness ..... so the "assume the position" order was given...........

Sir has a wonderful method of using a paddle.. it might not be everyone's cup of tea.......... but it sure as hell works for me...........
He goes tap tap tap.. lightly.. increasing strength and wallop power with each hit.. until He is just lets go and wallops my ass ........... now i consider that a "sensuous" paddling... tap tap tap WALLOP!!!

i was wiggling my ass.. and thoroughly getting into the paddling yesterday when Sir said "of course i was handling it just fine.. cause i was wearing panties"......... NOW i ask you folks.. how much protection is a little pair of white cotton panties??

Do they look like much protection against the Bolero paddle? !!! Honestly do they???!!! i was going to debate the issue with Sir.. but really...... it was much more fun to just enjoy the paddling...... i decided to save the debate for another time..

Sir discovered a way to up the ante a little bit......... to make it a little more difficult to cope.......... He would paddle my ass for about 15 - 20 minutes then send me off for a "rest"....... about an hour later He would tell me to assume the position and it would start all over again............. i suggested.. very respectfully of course !!.. that these intermissions made it very difficult to get back to the level i was at..actually the intermissions made me want to nap........ NOT assume the position.

Then it was time to attend a birthday celebration..... so the paddle was laid out on the ottoman. Honestly truthfully i figured the paddling was over for the weekend.... BUT not my Sir.. when we returned from the dinner party........ i was ordered to assume the position again......... This time i decided to let the cotton panties drop to my knees.. what the hell .. i was gonna prove they were NO protection from the wicked wallop of the paddle............

ok.. next brilliant idea??!!!

i couldn't believe it.. either my ass was overly sensitive from the afternoon's session.. or those panties really did protect !!! go figure...
The evening's paddling session was something of a comedy of errors........ first i had to adjust to having the panties down around my knees.. and the nervousness that created.. then i had to adjust to the fact i had been sooooooooo wrong about protection...... and then add to the fact that i had an over full tummy from the Italian food........ and an Irish coffee (which i rarely if ever have).. and each wallop seemed to wiggle and jiggle the digesting food .......... and then.. if all of that wasn't enough....... add a phone call to the mix...... a phone call that kept being cut off..

In desperation i finally suggested Sir take the call upstairs on the land line rather than on the portable.. and i decided the paddling was most definitely over.. except Sir hadn't decided the paddling was over......... so when i came back to the living room.. Sir was positioned .. paddle in hand waiting for me............. ughhhhhhhh..
i was so not enthusiastic about resuming the position........ but resume i did.. (hey i am a good subbie !!!)

This morning i remember the cotton panties.. i remember the paddle.. i remember the phone calls.. i do NOT remember how i got up to bed..... i don't have one damn mark on my ass to prove that i took the paddling ........ and i don't even remember any fairies...............

i do remember though...... i LOVE wooden paddles !!!!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Is it Friday already?

i remember my grandmother.. and my mom .. mentioning how fast the days and weeks and months flew by when i was young. i personally thought they were a little nuts.. cause for me the days dragged into weeks and the months never seemed to end........

Well as with all things....... i am now my mom saying i can't believe how fast the days/weeks/months fly by. Honestly it seems like only last week that we were back at school after the Christmas break.. and yet here we are heading into the last week of January ...... and two birthdays to celebrate this weekend and an expedition into town to shop for a wedding dress ............. and that after a week of paper work, meetings, budgets and deposits.. and one day when the old body just couldn't hold it together and i had to come home ...........

And here it is Friday............. oh my god !! i have a list a mile long of things i expected to get done before today........ cleaning and laundry and meal preparation.......... and here it is Friday and the list grows not shortens.. what is a person to do??

But it isn't the big things that get to me.. it is scheduling in things like stopping at the drugstore to renew my prescriptions.. or getting my hair washed .. or even fitting in a shower .. wrapping up the birthday gifts.......... it's the little things that seem to weigh heaviest on my shoulders..........

And i have been spoiled for the last couple of weekends.. quiet times at home with Sir.. lots of play.. lots of time for the little things..and now the pace quickens and i am feeling a little overwhelmed......... a little swamped... these are the Fridays i just want to scream .. "stop the world" just for an hour or two.. so i can get caught up .. catch my breath..........

Forget lectures on sensuous caning....... with time between strokes to breathe and enjoy....... i want time between life phases so i can catch my breath and breathe and enjoy....... not feel like i am being dragged along at some break neck speed....... pedalling as fast as i can and not keeping up.......

Something is niggling in the back of my head.. a memory.. (like with child birth - some memories fade so you can face it all again) yes yes i remember ..... January straight through February are my hell weeks.. weeks where i don't have time to even blink......... busy busy times.......... and i have survived every January through February before this..... (all 20 of them) and i guess i will survive this run to March break.... old body and all...........

wish me luck !!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

attention seekers..

In my job i see all sorts of attention seekers - from the parents to the kids.. clammering for attention.. good attention .. negative attention .. it doesn't seem to matter.. as long as they get attention.

i find it interesting how many attention seekers don't ever grow out of that stage.. even on line... there are blogs that are always having "dramas" .. there are blogs that are always having troubles with commentors...always problems.. always a drama or two...

And then .. as you all know .. Sir and i are hitting the 'dating' services again looking for a new slave boy or girl to fill out our family. i decided to avoid at all costs the chat rooms......... i have quite enough on my plate thank you very much .. i don't need to spend hours in a chat room watching all the attention seekers acting out.......... But in the dating services.. most contact is done by emails or messages.. (sometimes i like to think of them as messages in a bottle) ....... Those are important to me... they show me a number of qualities that i personally am looking for in a slave boy or girl........

1) they must be literate.. i don't spend too much time on someone who cannot read Our profile...... they must be able to spin together a sentence or two that makes sense .. without too many typos or grammatical errors (the only exception to that rule .. would be someone who is writing in a second language)
2) they must be able to answer our questions - stay on task - answer succinctly and promptly....... don't bend twist or mutilate the question to fit what you want.... answer the damn question at hand !!
3) their submissiveness must come through in their writing....... i don't mind a little joking around.. a little teasing.......... but if the teasing / joking becomes the main theme you can bet i am moving on......... i want to feel their seriousness in their words.

See this lifestyle is not a joke to Sir or i.... it is not a game. Oh that is not to say that we don't joke around and have fun.......... we do!!! and who can be more of a brat than me??? but i think i know when to be a brat and when to be a kneeling quivering submissive.

That is very important........ and for me.. when i have been looking for a new Master ..... i keep most of the devilishness tucked away...... i don't think that being a brat impresses too many Dominants looking for a serious BDSM relationship. i am not an attention seeker..... and i do not seek attention seekers..
Sir and i want someone who knows their place and is happy in it....... We don't want to see your pink jiggly bits .. we don't want to see you wiggle your ass.. we don't even want to see your ASS just yet .. thank you very much!!!

My days are filled with attention seeking.. acting out.. children.. when it comes to my personal life.. to my BDSM life i want a slave who knows his place and doesn't demand attention........ a bit like a good partner.. someone who sees what needs to be done and gets it done !!! That in my opinion will win my attention.. win my praise.. and earn lots and lots of spanking points !!!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The fine art of caning.....

Sir has a large number of canes........ for my ass not for walking. And they are a toy i love to hate.. or hate to love.. i am never really sure which. The cane stings like the dickens.. but if Sir uses it after a nice warm up (ok ok.. forget warm up.. after He has beaten my ass with all the other toys first) i rather enjoy it.........

That is until the lexan cane. Now yes i know i have talked about the lexan cane before... and we all agree it is one devil of a cane........ and nothing but nothing can make it feel good...... BUT not to be out done by a damn toy... after Saturday's episode with the lexan cane... i went looking for some ideas on caning?? instructions on caning?? answers to why it hurts so damn much !! and why frequently i swear Sir has hit my tail bone.. even when He hasn't. (my tail bone is a definite hard limit !!)

Now there are gobs of articles on the net on caning...... but one that struck my fancy (and i am sorry i did not book mark it so i can't send everyone scurrying off to read it) talked about sensuous caning.......... (trust me when i say - my ears perked up at the mention of 'sensuous' caning....... sensuous?? could i talk Sir into trying sensuous caning?? )

Now for those of you who need / want / love?? pictures... here is what i am affectionately calling "Good old fashioned caning".......

And this one i am calling sensuous caning.. (cause come on now.. doesn't this one look so much more appealing than the previous one?? )

The first thing i read in this article was that to fully appreciate a sensuous caning .. the submissive should lie on a table.. preferably a massage table...... (already i am liking this) .. barring that.. the submissive can lie on a bed.. and the Dominant can stand beside her..... this way (according to the writer) the cane will not hit the hidden end of the tail bone........ (the tail bone has a hidden end?? !!!) Needless to say that is the first thing i mentioned to Sir.. caning should be done lying down - rather than over the ottoman or spanking bench because a) the skin is pulled too taut that way.... and b) you run the risk of hitting this tail end of the tail bone.

The next thing i read was that the submissive should not be challenged during the caning session....... the strokes should not be too fast or too hard...... the intensity of the caning must build up gradually.... (oh yeah?????? have i got your attention now?? )

And the Dominant should play with the submissive during the caning.. by play it was suggested that the Dominant caress the submissive... play with her sexually (oh hell fuck her silly with his hand !! ) or even - now this one i really like - place his fingers in her mouth....... (boy ohhhhhh boy !! Sir would never dare to do that during a caning.. His hand might come out of it a few fingers short!!)

Oh yes..... and the author warns that even though a cane may seem stiff is actually very flexible...... and with force they will bend 90 degrees or more..... so ...says the careful of wrapping........ wrapping?? i always thought that was just a sadist's way of making sure you were paying attention!!

Anyway...... having read this article and sharing parts of it with Sir on Sunday afternoon... Sir decided to try a caning in the prone position. i can vouch for the fact that the tail end of my tail bone was not hit once...and that is all i can vouch for.... oh wait.. Sir did most definitely do some playing with my pink bits.. caressing of my pink bits.. He stood behind me.. kicked open my legs a couple of times actually... to make sure they were wide enough apart.. and then He started twacking the pink bits and the insides of my thighs with the cane.....

and i am here to report ....the lexan cane still hurts like blazes.. and after nearly an hour of the lexan cane interspersed with the crop....... i was left with white marks on my ass........ and fairies dancing round me like whirling dervishes....

Maybe .. perhaps.. i just need to define sensuous the same way as Sir does?? Sensuous is making me wiggle and stamp my foot and go "ouuuuuuuf that hurts" Sensuous is seeing me finally melt into the floor and leave a puddle without any actual soft sensual caresses in all the right spots.. Sensuous is having me flop around like a fish out of water, not sure which end is up, what time of day it is, or even what my name is......... THAT is sensuous for Sir...

Monday, January 21, 2008

A Meme.....

i went to Buffalo’s blog the other day and He ... HE himself !! .. had posted a meme...... i couldn't resist leaving my cheeky 2 cents worth ....... but as for doing the meme... i wasn't sure i would...... i copy and pasted it into my drafts .. for a day just like today - where i have little or nothing to say............

And so.. dear readers.. here is the meme that Buffalo found on Lili's site and i copied to my site........

“One word to describe me ... just one single word. Leave it in my comments section. Then post this original message on your journal and see how many strange and interesting things people say about you.”

(ohhhhhh and you don't have to DO the meme yourselves - but i am curious what one word you can find to say about me.. the woman of so many words !!)

(ohhhhh before i forget.. just one more think -
and if you are disappointed i have no wonderful words of wisdom on lexan canes and white spots and sore asses - rest assured i am working on a piece that WILL cover just that !! but gimme a break it is Monday morning !! and a cold one too - i shall now glare at Buffalo - who must have sent this frigid weather east wards)

Now i believe i am done.

Sunday, January 20, 2008


Yesterday Sir accused me of bitching........ i won't even try to paraphrase His blog entry... You can read "Bitch Bitch Bitch" .....

But honestly folks.. i don't think i was being overly bitchy....... not me !!! goodness i don't bitch!!! i suggest, i hint.. i beg.. i cajole.. but i don't bitch!!!

And that is exactly what i did last evening when Sir decided that seeing as "i" had brought the lexan cane upstairs (ok ok what WAS i thinking ???!!!! silly silly subbie !!) i must really want a good caning. i suggested to Sir that perhaps we should re-visit this whole caning method...... i hinted that perhaps Sir needed to go a little slower.. i begged that Sir go a little easier, letting me catch my breath between swats.. i cajoled Sir to think about using the crop instead of the lexan cane (after all the lexan cane HAD been used in the afternoon immediately following a cupping session....... how mean was that??!! and perhaps the crop could be used instead)

Sir ordered me over the ottoman.......... and He picked up the lexan cane....... before the first swat i was already whining and wiggling and complaining...... i held my breath......... i waited.. and waited.. and waited some more.

Finally i turned my head to see what Sir was doing. He was tapping the lexan cane against my ass.......... but so lightly i could barely feel it. tap tap tap tap.. i started to panic. Sir is NEVER that nice .......... EVER !!! i was waiting for the swing and follow through...... but He kept it up.. tap tap tap tap.. till i thought i was gonna scream !!!

i knelt up... picked up the good old fashioned leather crop.. and handed it to Him.. and said .. in my sweetest subbie voice.. "ohhhhhhh for goodness sakes - use this .. give me a good warm up.. and then go for it!" (exasperation does weird things to this subbie brain)

Sir started in with the crop........... tap tap tap?? not on your life.. whallop whallop whallop.. up and down my ass.. making sure that every second swat hit the sweet spot on first one side of my ass then the other..

i wasn't able to catch up - never mind keep up. i was wiggling and stamping my foot on the floor... and yes yes swearing under my breath... This was not fun........ and isn't it always supposed to be fun for the subbie?? isn't that written somewhere??

After a fast and furious start, Sir went back to the lexan cane........ there is something about that monster....... i know i am not going to do it credit.......... but a sound.. a sound that no other toy comes close to making.. and a feel....... definitely not a thud.. a sting.. but oh so much more than a sting.... and deep?? oh my god it goes deep .......... and no matter how long Sir goes at it.. no matter how high i fly.. the pain from the lexan cane is something that never gets any better !!!

At one point Sir was using both the lexan cane and the crop across my ass...

At another point Sir was using just the crop as fast .. as hard.. and as mean as He could.. and it felt absolutely luxurious compared to the lexan monster

In between times Sir would make me crawl over to Him and give Him a hug.. each time He did that .. i thought it was over.. and it made me want to cry.. i wanted more.. yes more.. what can i say??!!

When it was over.. and the canes were tossed to the ground and i was wrapped up tight in Sir's arms.. i wondered what the sound was that comes from the lexan cane.. what was the sound??!!! How could i describe the noise it makes that drives absolute fear into my heart.......... from a simple sound.. a twing.. or maybe a twang.. something.. but what it is exactly i may never be able to describe...........

This morning i am thinking........ i really must do a blog entry on 'Sensuous caning'........ someone .. some dominant somewhere... might just read it.. take it to heart ... and one poor subbie may be saved.............

There is no saving me.......... i am doomed to cursing the canes.. and loving the Man who pushes me harder each time..........

Saturday, January 19, 2008

It ain't fair.......

Last night .. by the time dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned up.. i collapsed in my chair exhausted.. i was good for nothing !! By 9pm i was begging Sir for permission to go to bed.. (now i ask you how much fun is that???!!!) But Sir took me up to bed and tucked me in.. and i slept for 9 1/2 hours !!!!

This morning - it became obvious - right quick - that Sir was gonna make up for the lost evening...

While i was toasting homemade cinnamon bread for breakfast, Sir came into the kitchen bent me over the counter and went at my ass with the crop like there was no tomorrow.... (strike while the iron's hot?? ) i was laughing (my usual stupid response to pain with no warm up ) and wiggling all around.. it took Sir pushing me down hard and tight on to the counter to get me to hold my place.. When He had finished with my ass.. He turned me over.. stood me up .. and had a go at my tits... i could barely catch my breath - in fact between the gales of laughter i managed to choke out a desperate plea "let me catch up!!"

It amazes me how Sir can move so smoothly from whooping my ass and tits to sitting at the breakfast table drinking coffee and scarfing down cinnamon toast.. i on the other hand am trying to slow down my breathing, and focus on the toast and coffee in front of me..

Today though........ Sir and i did have a little discussion to work through...... that of a check list of a new slave boy we are interested in.......... i am not saying more than that....... maybe i am afraid of jinxing the whole thing.......... but yeah.. we are looking .. and we do have a serious nibble.

Then Sir had to get cracking (and not with a whip .. shucks !!) and get out the door to work.. BUT .. before He left.. He had me sit on the stairs and He fastened some clamps - complete with bells - to my pussy (giving a whole new meaning to the expression "bell the cat")

i whined.. (yeah i whined.. they were / are tight.. and have to stay on until such time as Sir returns) Tell me .. is it fair???!!! that i have these clamps attached to my pussy.. causing the lips to swell and ache (simulating horny swollen pussy lips) and still expect me to do the laundry and get the floors moped?? Does He have any idea how challenging it is to walk with these clamps banging against each other.. how annoying the constant tinkling of the bells is??

Ahhhhhhhh right.. of course He knows.. and is exactly why He did it....... torture the subbie.. get her all hot and bothered and wanting more......... so when He finally does return.. (and dear god let Him return - not like last weekend when His mom had the fall and He had to stay home) this little subbie is just about ready to beg for anything He wants to throw at her........

Life ain't fair.......... but it is fun !!!!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Risk Takers

i had a conversation last evening with a submissive friend who was telling me about a Dominant who is infatuated with him... This Dominant wants him to give up everything and follow Him... (maybe HE has a Jesus complex?? ) This Dominant wants him to follow to Florida and to Europe. This Dominant wants him to be naked .. (doesn't that make air travel a little tricky??)

Now i must add right up front .. these discussions/desires/requests have all been made on line........ they have not even met for a cup of coffee.

My submissive friend said - "if i was 20 again i would do it". i sat there with my jaw on the floor. (i was repeating my mantra - the net is all smoke and mirrors!) And i couldn't help but wonder what happened to the check lists and the hard limit lists.. and the contracts.. and all those good things some submissives need to have.

Now don't get me wrong........ i believe in risk takers - i teach kiddies to BE risk takers at school........ BUT there are calculated risks and then there are just plain fool hardy risks. i don't teach fool hardy risk taking... and i am not much of a risk taker.. The biggest risk i ever took (i think) was to leave a stable job to start a program at the school i am at now... i took the new job on a handshake.. no terms agreed.. no salary discussed.. just a dangling carrot of a new challenge...... and i took it. THAT was some risk for me !! As big as they get. And it worked out fine.. cause here i still am some 20 years later......

BUT to just leave everything behind and follow some stranger???

That brings me back to the post the other day about where are the Dom blogs.. and "dating" sites for BDSMers... and all the wiggly jiggly bits that people use to advertise who they are.

i find it extremely difficult to find 'real people' on line...... i have been burnt more than once.. (believing someone was real - based on the words they wrote) i have grown up and become net savy ( a new form of street smart !! i wasn't very street smart either when i was younger.)

And if someone wants to open their eyes it really isn't too difficult to pick out the real ones from the fakes.. and i don't know.. having someone tell me he is infatuated with me after a couple of emails and chats.. and wants me to give up everything and follow him........ wellllllllllll that has a strong smell to it.. but then maybe i am a cynic.... i know i am NOT a risk taker .. that's for sure !!!

On the other hand.... Sir gave me permission to start a search for a new slave boy or slave girl.... and i have been diligently looking........ i don't agree that the first meet be a play session.. i don't agree the first meet be a private meet.. i insist that the first meeting be vanilla - in a very public venue !! i used to do that to protect myself as a submissive......... now i find i am doing it to protect Sir and yes myself.. from nut job submissives.. they do exist you know !!! i insist on check lists being done.. and - because i learned from the house boy experience - i am VERY clear on what our needs are.. and what they aren't... and how the new one is to fit into our lifestyle .. not us into theirs.

For me.. risk taking is reaching out into the void that is the net and looking for someone new .. first requirement is - he/she had better be 'real' .... be human.. have faults and bumps and bruises and not be living ....or expecting Sir and i to weave... a fantasy world.........

Risk takers............. i wish them well....... but i think i will stay right where i am .. safe and sound and grounded....... and look for people who don't take HUGE risks.. but who are willing to step up and out .. and risk ........ just a little bit.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A mini rant.....

i realized this morning - as i was reading through my blogs...... that i have very few (a handful really) of dominant blogs that i read. On the other hand i have more submissive blogs than i can read in a day.

So i decided to do a search and find some dominant blogs .......... level out the playing field so to speak.

Ok.. what is going on here folks?? Dominants don't have anything to say?? or am i just looking in all the wrong places. Even the Dominant blogs i do have - they post less than regularly - one gentleman hasn't posted in over a year... another gentleman i visited semi regularly has disappeared (of course i could have missed the announcement of his moving) ........ Don't tell me we submissives keep them so busy they have no time to write!!! come on......... every Dominant is THAT busy ?? i don't think so !!!

Another thing i noticed in my quest....... are the images associated with different searches.. plunk in female dominant and get pictures like this..........

Plunk in male dominants and get pictures like this.............

And while i am on the subject of wiggly jiggly bits....... what is it with BDSM 'dating' blogs where again the Dominants are so busy showing off the family jewels that they forget to check the spelling in their profiles / activity lists??

Ok so what is going on here?? i thought women were the ones accused of body image problems.. seems to me some males have the opposite problem........ AND what self respecting submissive/slave would contact a male Dominant who thought that his small head would attract more interest than His philosophies and beliefs in the lifestyle?? Am i missing something here??

Someone enlighten me.. am i just looking in all the wrong places???

(ohhhhhhh and before anyone starts jumping to conclusions ........ NO i am NOT looking for a new dominant.. actually Sir and i are looking for a new submissive.. but don't get me started on their wiggly jiggly bits!!)

Monday, January 14, 2008


Once upon a time...... Sir got it in his head that i would have a leather mask.. a full hooded mask. We went to one of our favourite shops Il Bolero - probably my favourite shop because it carries quality products and the owners are more than willing to make sure you get exactly what it is you are looking for.... as in the hood.

We landed up trying on a number of masks/hoods.... and none of them fit.. they were all too big.... so Johnny - the owner - announced he would have the hood cut down and made smaller for me (TA DA !! no one can accuse me of having a 'big head'!!)

The hood came home..... and when Sir put it on me the first time at home .. He said "it looks ugly". Now i knew (i think i knew) Sir meant the mask... but immediately i hated the mask.. it was ugly !!! Ergo i was ugly. It was that simple actually.

Now i have only worn the hood a few times.. i am sure i could count the number of times on one hand. The hood does funny things to my mind. First of all i am dealing with the echoing voice in my head "ugly ugly ugly". Then it cuts out all peripheral vision....... i can't breath through my nose.. and so i tend to hold my mouth a little open all the time i am wearing it.. and my jaw gets very sore and very tired. It also tends to make me pull into myself... which is not exactly a bad thing.. unless you are hearing voices saying ugly...

Anyway...... the hood usually sits in the night stand beside the bed on a wig form.
Usually .. because yesterday Sir sent me an email....... it was a task. (Don't let it be said that Sir ignores His littleone - even when the vanilla world is tugging him this way and that!!) i was to put the hood on immediately and leave it on for 2 hours. i was to text message Him when i took it off.

i was - get this one - excited !!! i almost skipped to get the mask. It had been so long since i wore it - i had almost forgotten the "side effects". i pulled the mask out and discovered my first dilemma - it laces up in the back. Ok ok.. no one ever said i wasn't good at problem solving.. so i laced up the hood.. leaving it loose and tried to slide it on. Too tight. Loosened the laces more.. and tried again. This time i managed to slide it on.. and wiggle it around till the eye holes were where they were supposed to be.. reached around the back to tie it .. and realized i would have to tighten it ...... a lot ! In trying to tighten it.. i managed to unlace it about 4 holes...... so here i was standing in front of the mirror - blind as a bat cause i can't wear my glasses when i am wearing the hood - trying for all i am worth to get the hood tightened and re-laced. Finally i had it tight.. though somehow or other i missed one hole... but at that point i didn't care.. it was on.. it was tight.. and my two hours were about to begin.

Now i was doing laundry.. and going up and down the stairs.. trying to see the laundry.. trying to measure out the soap.. and rinse agent.. well let's just say it was a lesson in moving slow and methodically.

i realized there wasn't much i could do.. especially without glasses so i sat down to watch TV.... the figures were all blurry so i closed my eyes and just listened to the dialogue. Then i started with my "what if" monster....... What if the door bell rang?? What if the phone went ?? (talking with the hood on is not all that easy either.. ) i looked at the clock ....... only 30 minutes had passed since i tied it on. i had 90 minutes to go....... and i was starting to feel real claustrophobic !! My jaw was aching.. i closed my mouth. Now i can breath through my nose.. i can !! But it doesn't feel like it.... and if i breath through my nose i smell the leather.. and folks.. here's a news flash......i absolutely totally HATE the smell of leather....... so i went back to mouth breathing.

Somewhere during the 2 hours .. i decided to take a picture of myself in the hood... i thought clever girl.. you can show Sir you did the task (when i am set tasks - i don't HAVE to take pictures - but most times do) So i sat on the stairs ...... held the camera out at arm's length.. and snapped a shot. i then - being the brilliant subbie i am - tried to see the preview ........... i never realized how small the preview window was.. or how blind i am!!! So for good measure i snapped 3 or 4 pictures and hoped for the best.

When the two hours was up.. i put the hood back on the wig form.. back in the night table.. and happily put my glasses back on... came to the pc and downloaded the pics off the camera.

OH MY GOD !! i had completely and totally forgotten how ugly that damn hood is!! until i saw the pictures that is.

Anyway....... because i know Sir will insist i post the picture...... here is the picture of me in the hood..... on Sunday.. blind as a bat!!

editorial note: last night when Sir saw this picture..... He asked if i was now going into wrestling !!! ughhhhh someone ought to remind Him this was HIS idea !!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Long weekend.......

Warning....... if you have come here to read about the fun details of a BDSM weekend - complete with fucking and spankings and floggers and whips (oh my!!) you will be sorely disappointed.

Saturday morning Sir had some work to complete and so he left me...... a couple of hours later He called to tell me He would be coming back to pack up His things and return home. It turns out His mom had taken a fall and had called the ambulance.

Fortunately she wasn't hurt in her fall - only frightened. Sir packed up his things and went home to do some major re-arranging... that will hopefully facilitate the care of his mom... until such time as the powers that be, get around to arranging a room in a nursing home for her.

Sir disassembled her bed and moved it lock stock and barrel down the stairs to the dining room... and set up a make shift bedroom for her. He installed a commode so that she doesn't have to take the stairs to use the bathroom. He worked all day to get her organised and comfortable.

Now some wonder why i love this man i call Sir.. and the above paragraphs tell you why...... any man who would take such care of his mom.. put her health and peace of mind ahead of His own needs and desires - is a man i want in my life !!!

Someone asked me last night if i was ok???!! My god why wouldn't i be?? Am i sooooo shallow that this person would think i would pout and whine because my Sir can't be with me this weekend??? Life happens........ and i would much rather know Sir is taking care of business than playing with me. It is as it should be.

That is not to say i don't have that burning need inside... but there are ways of handling that need........ and one way some of you will surely enjoy is... i took all my thoughts and fantasies and wrote an extra entry to the Fictional Blog..... i hope you enjoy !!!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Importance of Hands..

Many long years ago.. i learned my first lesson of the importance of hands (or touch). My husband at the time was in hospital recovering from surgery for bone cancer - he was in an un-imaginable amount of pain. The nurses suggested that when i visited him that i stroke him.. touch him softly .. caress him. It was to help his brain process touch as something different from pain.

Those memories came back to me last evening as i was bent over the chair and Sir was using the whip on me. It hurt - it hurt bad (some days it just hurts !! we have all discussed that fact ad nauseam) After awhile i felt Sir's hand on my back - caressing, touching, focusing me. It wasn't all about pain in some void.. Sir was there too, holding me.. taking me to the edge... encouraging me to take that one step over.........

And then... i felt Sir's hand - firm ... very firm - pressing down on the small of my back. Then the crop started to fall over and over against my ass... nothing sensual about it all !! It was hard - it was hurting and Sir's hand was now holding me down.. not letting me wiggle about - wiggle around - wiggle away. His hand felt - in a strange sort of way - reassuring. As much as it was holding me still so that He could inflict mind blowing pain on my ass and thighs.. it was reassuring to know that i did not have to force myself to hold still.. Sir was doing it for me.. and pushing me even harder over that edge !!! And i did.. step confidently over the edge.. even though my teeth were still set on edge from the pain.. even though it felt hard .... and fast... i stepped over the edge.........


It was because of Sir's Hands.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Keeping me sane......

Yesterday spankedhortic left this comment on 'Reality'

"Yep, there is a lot of vanilla life that has to be lead (some of it is actally quite good) but it is the floggers and crops (and canes and straps and.......) that stops me going mad, I don't know about you?"

(i stumbled across spankedhortic's blog from a comment he left a while back in reference to a 'house boy' post... and i have been reading him since.)

Anyway getting back to yesterday's comment....... of course he is right.. so very right. It IS the floggers and crops and all the other toys and sessions that make life so much easier to cope with.

My need for pain.. for the endorphins... is something i have whined about, written about, ranted about, and pouted about.. on this blog more than once !!! It is .. for me.. what makes life flow together. When i come home on a Friday night - exhausted and stressed from the week's events - Sir knows exactly where to take me.. and exactly how to get me there. My absolute favourite is to be told to lie on the floor at Sir's feet while He puts needles up and down my ass... using chains and small swords between the needles to tickle and tempt and make me wiggle ... and when the last needle is removed, my body is as limp as a wet dish rag..... stress free and relaxed and ready for the weekend.

When i have been ill... and Sir cuts back on the floggings on the sessions.. it makes me feel broken.. half a sub..... and i slip into a massive pity party..... if Sir won't play with me then i MUST be damn sick !!!

These past few weeks and months Sir has played with me hard as much as is humanly possible.. taking my mind to far off places where there are fairies and laughter and pretty colours - and He has not left me to wallow in self pity or doubt .. or even left me too long with the "what if monster".

Last evening Sir had an appointment and couldn't be online to touch base with me.. He knows how fatigued these new pills are making me.. He knows my fear of the end of result...... and so imagine my surprise when i received the email with instructions for the evening..... at 7:30 i was to apply clamps to my pussy and leave them on for 30 minutes... then i had a 15 minute rest before i was to bring out the vibrator and vibrate myself for 15 minutes before being allowed to cum.

That email was like a gift...... i anxiously awaited the 7:30 start........ i was just a tad disappointed with the masturbation time.. no no .. not the fact i had to masturbate.. but at my body's reaction to it......... ohhhhhhhhh i had an orgasm.. but most definitely NOT an earth shattering one...... but then i was tired.. the wind was howling around the house - the trees were rattling against the windows and it was not the most relaxing atmosphere.. especially when the lights flickered on and off a couple of times.. BUT i did it.. and as i lay in my bath i realized how lucky i was (yes yes again !!) to have a Sir who knows exactly how to push the fears.. the stress.. the mundane every day business from my world.......

spankedhortic it does stop me from going totally mad!!!

and for those of you who keep track of my "other blogs" i have posted some pics to the Photojournal ....... enjoy!!!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Match up

Do you remember playing the game "match up" when you were a kid?? There were all these cards shuffled and placed face down on the table.. and you took turns turning one card over and then another - if they matched you took them off the board and placed them proudly in a pile in front of you. The winner was the one who had the most matched pairs in front of them.

i was thinking yesterday how difficult it is to find a partner in the lifestyle. It can be so much like the match up game from childhood. There are checklists galore to go through with your prospective partner.. matching up the things you like.. the things you don't like... the things you would never ever do. Match - no match - match - match match - no match. And at the end of the process you can have a delightful winning hand where both win..... or a losing hand where there just aren't enough matches to make a relationship.

Ok ok i am simplifying a rather long and tedious process...... and the matches are much more than just the "you like .. i like" sort of things. There are distances to take into consideration, belief systems, compatibility in general. Oh the list is endless.

Even as a child i found the whole game tedious and a bit boring. i never fully understood the process. As an adult i want to skip the process and move right on to meeting...... checking out the prospective partner...... do we click or not??

Yesterday i was reading one of my regular blogs - A View from the Floor - and nodding and agreeing with her thoughts on the word "true"......... and i realized that too has a bearing on the match process.... true slave - true Dominant...... BUT what is true?? is a true slave someone who can refer to themselves in the 3rd person?? who never forgets the Sir/ Ma'am ?? who uses eye restrictions?? who kneels and never grows weary of kneeling?? Is this all another game of match up??? Do we click on the number of protocols we believe in??

ughhhhhhh it makes me weary to think about it all.... match no match...... match.

Aren't we lucky - those of us who have partners - that the match games are over for us?? or was it the match game that you enjoyed the most?? "the mating dance" as i call it...... i guess in a lot of ways i don't have the patience for all those match games...... the fun for me is in the finished product........and the tweaking that comes after the matching......

What say you??

Sunday, January 06, 2008

What if Monster

Let me introduce you to my "what if" monster... he seems to be haunting me recently.. popping out from under the bed.. whispering in my ear .... curling up next to me while i watch TV.

What if.......... these new pills don't work.....

What if ........... they do...........

What if........... this fatigue gets worse..........

What if............ i loose my libido

What if.............i am broken

my "What if" Monster............

Sir hates my "What if" Monster ...... has little or no patience with it. Sir showed me Friday night that the libido is just fine thank you very much.. one orgasm with hitachi........ some cropping and then a fucking that had my juices squirting.. more cropping another orgasm that left me weak kneed lying in a puddle !!!

Saturday the Christmas decorations were packed up and put away..... and the fatigue was do-able.. Sir would pull things down and pile them up .. and i would pack them in the boxes - something i could do sitting when the legs just wouldn't hold me anymore..

Saturday night Sir had me fetch and carry the knife, the candle, the drop cloth. Sir waxed me (and me being a brilliant submissive brought the BLACK candle - the hottest of the lot - god i need my head examined!!) and being a brilliant submissive i hadn't shaved the pussy........ and hot wax is ohhhhhh so not pleasant on a week's growth of hair!!! (lesson learned - pussy shaved weekly - no excuses!!)

Today is quiet day........ get ready for work day....... push the "What if Monster" back under the bed.. it is day 5 of 10 days .. first month almost done.. 3 more to go.. and i can do this..... and IF it doesn't work........ there will be other solutions......

For now.. one day at a time.. rest when the fatigue hits.. bare ass for croppings/spankins and fucking...... and put one foot in front of the other .. until we reach yet another fork in this road called life..........

Friday, January 04, 2008

Bouncing Balls

i am going to be completely honest right up front.. i really have no idea where this blog entry is going to go...... it is most definitely MY opinion and no one else's... (though some may agree with me) and it stems from a bunch of stuff floating around aimlessly in my head... (and no cracks about how easy it is for stuff to float around in an empty container !!)

Anyway........ this is probably gonna land up being one of my infamous bouncing ball posts..

It has been in my head since before the holidays to write a piece on "topping from the bottom"... it has been nagging at me.. i have tried to put the thoughts together and have them make some sort of sense.. it hasn't totally worked... so here goes.. (bouncy bouncy ball)

Submissives who top from the bottom are often frowned upon - much as S.A.M.'s are (Smart Assed Masochists) But what exactly IS topping from the bottom?? When i think back to that evening i asked Sir if He would use the mouse traps.. was that topping from the bottom?? i wasn't being the classical submissive waiting patiently and quietly for her Master to "do" it.. i asked. BUT i also accepted gracefully Sir's denial of my request. What is wrong with a submissive asking respectfully for something?? i personally don't see any problem... because the final decision still rests with the Master.

However ....... IF a submissive dictates how a scene should go .. or shouldn't go.. demands that there be a warm up... picks out which toys can and can not be used.. which equipment.. etc... if every scene.. every session is entirely and totally about the submissive's needs... then that - in my opinion - is topping from the bottom!! If the submissive is constantly critical of the Master's (or Mistress - it doesn't really matter) methods and style.. then that submissive is topping from the bottom. And i have to add here.. IF the Master gives in to all the submissive's requests / demands then the Master needs to go back to BDSM 101 and retake the course !

Now S.A.Ms (remember - smart assed masochists) ... they will act up and act out often embarrassing the Master.. all for the sole purpose of receiving pain..... And that is a BIG no no in the community!! How SAMs are frowned upon .. looked down at. BUT i want to know who made this submissive a SAM??? if she/he were getting what they needed - which is pain.... would they need to be a SAM?? Positive reinforcement versus negative. (yeah yeah lessons learned in teacher's college) If you want positive behaviour - you reward the positive and try (i said TRY) and ignore the negative...

Now i have been accused from time to time of being a SAM.. and it really raises the hair on the back of my neck. i am NOT a SAM.. i rarely if ever get pain for acting out or acting up.. i do however get pain - on fairly regular basis - just because ... because Sir wants to dole it out.. or i need it.. or the stars are aligned just right. Who cares?? i get the pain needed and therefore do not need to act up to get it. However i am frequently - most often - ok ok 90% of the time cheeky. That is who i am.. as a submissive.. as a teacher.. as a mother.. as a daughter ... as a person!

Lying........ this is something that Sir and i have had numerous 'debates' over.. i understand lying - blatant lying - saying something didn't happen when it did but i struggle over the term 'lying by omission'. i never understood why it was necessary to bare my soul over every little thing. Like the time my hands were cold and tingly during a session and i didn't tell Sir.. i wanted more more more and did not wish to stop the scene... i got punished right royally for that one...... because it could have lead to serious problems.

It is the same when a sub withholds information from a Dominant.. health issues let's say.. How is that Dominant going to ever be actively responsible for their charge if they don't have all the pertinent information to work from??

Where is the honour in a submissive who blatantly withholds vital information?? And isn't honour an important factor in a BDSM relationship?? i am fast learning that 'honour' is a word that is bandied about a lot.. much like the use of the word 'friend'. So .. as with so much in this lifestyle .. i am learning to doubt someone who says they are honourable... prove it to me first.. live an honourable life and maybe then you will earn the right (in my mind) to use the word.

i think i have run out of steam.... for today......... i may revisit these topics because they are important to me.. and should be debated and least i feel a need to fully understand them!!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Virtual life.....

i don't think i have ever done a blog entry on the "virtual world".......but i have debated the issue many times with a whole mess of folk........... so let me pull out my soap box and get started..........

A comment was made to me the other evening .. in passing.. about phone sex. i am not so "goody two shoes" that i haven't engaged in it.. i have........ BUT it got me to thinking about the whole "virtual world" some people live in.

The virtual world is a very safe world...... you never ever have to meet anyone.. you are always perfect in the virtual world.. perfect body, perfectly long thick hair, perfect temperament, perfectly made up, perfectly clothed (or not - as the case may be). To me the virtual world is all smoke and mirrors... you can be whomever you wish to be on any given day... you can do the impossible in the virtual world. It is a Never Ending Story...... a fairy tale with happy ever after endings.

One of my biggest shocks and disappointments (many long years ago) was a web site i had found that stocked (in my opinion) the very best articles on BDSM.. had journals written by both the Dom and the sub on their life together.. it was intense and extreme and made me long for such a life. And then i met someone in the real world who dispelled all the illusions i had about this Dom and his sub and their web site... they weren't a couple.. they hadn't ever met for god's sakes. They were a virtual couple. The site was basically compiled by a man who was happily married to a vanilla wife in the real world and had built this enormous fairy tale world for himself on line. i was beginning my education about the virtual world!

i even tried the virtual world of BDSM.... now that was an adventure!! There were always "Masters" on line ready and willing to "play" .. to order a submissive about. i tried it.. and went oh wow how boring is this!!?? For me anyway.... it was all smoke and mirrors.. the orders given could be followed or not who would know?? and what about safety?? too many times i was ordered to do something that common sense told me just wasn't safe....... did i do it?? No bloody way!! but i can write a good story...... and i did.. many many times. And know what?? i betcha the "Master" was writing a damn good story too............ while his wife cooked and cleaned in the background and his kids did their homework.

Smoke and mirrors i tell ya.. all smoke and mirrors.
Did all this story telling get me hot and bothered.. yeah it did..... it made me want/crave/desire even more the real world of BDSM... a world where someone would whip my ass and put bull clips on me and not let me cave in when i thought it was too much.. it made me crave the touch of another human being. Living in the virtual world is a dark lonely world in reality. The sun comes up in the morning and the fog and mists of the fairy tale world dissipate quickly.

That is not to say that Sir does not use the internet to give me tasks... or (at the very beginning) to train me. BUT we already had a connection.. we knew each other in the real world... The internet was used to fill in the time when we could not be together......... it was not our world only an extension of it.

And what about phone sex....... the casual comment that started me off on this soap box lecture?? i tried it once..... ok ok maybe twice.... and i never did see the draw of it.

Picture this with me for one second.. the phone rings.. you answer it.. this soft voice on the other end starts talking about all the things he would do to you if only he was with you...... you are balancing the phone between your shoulder and your ear..lying on the bed... playing with yourself.. trying to loose yourself in the voice and the words.. He asks if you are getting wet.. he wants to hear how wet you are so you put the phone down near the pussy with one hand and with the other you try and create slopping sounds loud enough for him to hear... BUT if you are like me - a two handed masturbater - it doesn't work all that well.. and the "feelings" start to wane....... now you can't even hear the soft words being spoken so how do you know when he is talking to YOU.. he lands up talking to the sloppy pussy for a few minutes longer than he thought........... phone back to the ear and he continues in his mesmerizing voice.. telling you to get the vibrator or dildo...... and insert in pussy....... now i am balancing a phone AND a dildo and no free hand to play with ........ i am trying to focus on that voice .. and the vibrator and am trying to make all the right moans and groans at all the right times........

And then maybe if the stars are all aligned correctly i actually do start to feel the beginnings of an orgasm........ and oh god i know exactly what i need right now.. the voice on the other end hasn't a clue..... i need two hands.. so i try and prop the phone on the pillow now.. so i have two hands....... and in all the excitement of the moment (shall we say) i roll over on top of the phone..wrestling one lil pathetic orgasm out of myself......... and when it is finally over and i have found the phone again - usually buried under a pillow - or knocked onto the floor....... i pant a pathetic thank you to some stranger.

Trust me when i say...... if i need to masturbate....... (and yeah .. if i have permission) i don't need or want a voice at the end of the telephone line listening to my pussy slurping or my moans and groans...... i want my two hands free to tease and pinch and thrust and rub......... and if i moan i moan...... i don't need to worry about holding up my end of the deal - so to speak - and give this anonymous male some sounds to jerk off to.

And now i will climb down off my virtual soap box and continue with my real world that includes getting Sir's house cleaned for my all girl evening this evening...... hiding all the toys so the girls don't land up having apoplexy fits.

Oh yeah........ and daydreaming about Sir's weekend with me.. the last weekend of the holiday ...........


My mother had an expression........ "too pooped to pop" ..... the holidays - no matter how much fun - are exhausting.. too much entertaining.. too many meals to cook.. too many nights out.. too many late nights.

Though having said that.. there was one late night.. New Year's Eve... that was well worth staying up past the witching hour. Sir and i got to make a long distance phone call and chat with two blogger "buddies"......... and i have to say that i learned a soft sweet southern drawl does make my knees go weak......... (However - cheeky grin- i am not entirely sure even the soft southern drawl could ever convince me there is value in phone sex - BUT that is another entirely different story.. for another entirely different day!!)

i have to say this has been the best holiday season ever!!! Sir stayed here through most of it.. and though He has left me today (sniff sniff) and though i won't be played with for the next couple of nights (bigger sniff sniff) the entire 10 days was memorable!!! Lexan cane included !!!

i was reminded on New Year's Day .. by that soft southern drawl....... and by my Sir.. that The Fictional Journey was due........... (though Sir did grant me an extension because of the annual Kinky Open House we hold on the 1st!)

Sooooo despite the sleepy foggy brain........ i have managed to bang out (excuse the pun) another chapter in the Fictional Journey........ enjoy!!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


i had an interesting debate / discussion with myself ... about hard limits, fear and specifically mouse traps this past week. It all started off with a Christmas gift of a set of mouse traps........ and a discussion about topping from the bottom .. (ok ok this is most definitely a subbie bouncing ball moment .. but see if you can follow along)

The mouse traps have sat on the bureau in the bedroom since Christmas day.... i have glanced at them every time i have made the bed, tidied up the room, and gotten dressed. (that is one hell of a lot of looking - trust me!!) i was sure .. SURE.. that somewhere somehow mouse traps had to have been on some hard limit list .. weren't they?? (i believed that right up to and including the moment Sir reminded me i did not have - was not allowed - a hard limit list) Those mouse traps scared the hell out of me... and fear began to grow deep in my belly every single time i set foot in the bedroom.

Now ...... i decided.... in my infinite subbie wisdom... to first try ignoring them... that worked for all of .. ummmm.. let's see 5 minutes??!! Then i decided to sort of shove them behind stuff and hope to hell Sir would kinda forget about them..... after all there were one heck of a lot of kinky gifts to work through this year.... including the shopping trip!!!

Then the other night (no don't ask me which night - all the days/nights have run together over this holiday........ thanks to my Christmas 'fairies' most days i haven't a clue what day or time it is!!) Anyway.. the other night the mouse traps were kinda calling out to me.. and i found myself fantasizing about them... even while i sat watching TV with Sir. i decided to take the bull by the horns - so to speak - top from the bottom if you prefer - and just ASK if Sir would use the damn traps!! (face the fear or something like that ) ...... Sir said 'no' .. NO???????? no!

So another couple of days went by with the fear building inside........ that is .. until last night. i had made a fire and was chattering on and on about how romantic it was...... (i think i may have been bugging Sir ) when Sir decided that He would make it that much more romantic by having me fetch the mouse traps and wear them in front of the fire.... that was HIS idea of romance on New Year's Eve.

i went upstairs to get them.... and by the time i had produced them in the living room for Sir i was damn close to tears. Why tears?? because (sheeeesh) i cry when i am scared.. and i was bloody scared at that point. Sir opened the packaging and i was watching Him like a mouse already caught in the damn trap.

When He came over to me .. and had me put my feet up on the seat of the chair and spread 'em ...... i was begging Him not to hurt me....... well... not hurt me too much. He stopped and looked at me and asked what the problem was??? After all i am one lil greedy masochist for god's sakes and here i was begging?? and tears were puddling.. i tried to explain.. "i am just afraid Sir"... and that is when it hit me.. F E A R ..... it plays in the brain.. it plays things up big and makes the stomach knot and the knees weak.. and the tears puddle........ it is what a masochist craves almost as much as the pain (for me anyway!!)

All that rationalizing didn't help me one little bit.. i still held my breath.. as first one then the other were snapped on to my pussy lips.. i let my breathe out slowly .. mentally i did a "does it hurt ??" kind of evaluation. Then i breathed a huge sigh of relief.... i would survive the pain...... and WOW!! i had mouse traps attached to my pussy!!! Pictures !! i want pictures !!! The fear was gone and all that was left was pain and pleasure mixing and swirling like patterns in a kaleidescope.

Fear is most definitely a submissive's best friend and worst enemy.... and what makes this all so much damn fun !!!

Happy New Year !!

May what you see in the mirror delight you,

and what others see in you delight them.
May someone love you enough to forgive your faults,
be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

Happy New Year from Sir and His littleone

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