Saturday, December 31, 2011

busy day........... hear me groan?

Well I was up at the crack of dawn and decided to take a look at the blessed accounting program.  Ya see - they sent me an update that i had to use to update my program from 2011 to 2012 .... W had been asking me if I had done it yet......... no I hadn't - my brain has been too stuffed up to even consider looking at the blankety blank blank accounting program.

But today is the last day of 2011 - so I figured I had better upgrade.  Now - in my experience - limited as it is - when I upgrade any program - the computer (smart thing that it is ) just upgrades and drags all my information along with it ............... 

Did this blankety blank blank program do that??? noooooooooooooo not even close.  

It took 2 hours to run the upgrade - and then the damn thing asks me if I want to open an existing file OR open a new business.  WTF???!!!  It didn't even suggest - BEFORE the upgrade that I might want to back up the program.......... and the program does NOT suggest you back up until you have used it 4 times.......... I hadn't used it 4 times since the bookkeeping expert who I hired to bail out my mess was here.  


So that means - that all the work I did manage to do in December is lost.......... and I have to start over... Ask me if I am a happy camper... go on I dare you !!!


While the blankety blank blank program was running yet another update - which it said could take from 1 hour to 5 hours (yes I said FIVE hours!!) I decided to go make the gingerbread cheese cake I promised W.  I figured I could at least do that - semi successfully.  


So it is now in the oven cooking - I wish I could smell it - or even taste it - but I can't.  I have decided the pineapple meatballs for tomorrow will taste a whole lot better if they sit in the sauce for 24 hours so I am off to make them... then grab a quick shower before W shows up and I get to cook the roast beast.......... which I have discovered is enough to feed a bloody army !!!  What was I thinking when I bought it???!!!


Hope you all have a safe and fun New Year's Eve............. See you all in 2012.

Friday, December 30, 2011

It's a start.........

I don't know how long the new look will last.......... or if I will just continue to tweak it... 

BUT 

I have decided to leave it like this for a little bit - while it grows on me... 

or doesn't.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Sick puppy


Ok I give up... give in... admit it... I AM SICK.  

I thought a couple of days of babying myself - you know - staying in pjs - drinking lots of warm fluids (except I wasn't thirsty) - having chicken soup - taking Tylenol ........... and then magically I would be better !!!

Well it would appear this bug I have doesn't work that way.......... 

And as usual - I do NOT have time to be sick........... 

I have already missed W's birthday............. I have promised him a dinner and night to remember come Saturday....... On Sunday we are having about 20 people over for a "Kinky Open House"..... 

I have groceries to buy - cooking to do - a house to clean.......... 

I do NOT have time to be down with some stupid mystery bug.......(which truthfully isn't all that mysterious - and is probably only a cold - a BAD one though - probably a MAN cold)

Though I have to admit (cause ya know I HAVE to look for the silver lining) that this  'cold' sick is so much better than last year's 'hospital I am dying' sick. 


AND being sick has given me the excuse I needed to curl up with my Kobo and read read read.... I finally gave in and got The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo (as well as the other 2 books in the series) ......... I will say that on my Kobo I don't have to look at the cover - which I mentioned the other day was the reason I hadn't bought the book in the first place....


Today though - no Kobo (at least not until I drop) - no today I am gonna make an effort to get some groceries and maybe even do a little baking........ 


But for right now.... I am gonna take more Tylenol - drink my coffee (hey that counts as warm liquids !!) and play around with The Journey (cause I have decided come the New Year I want a new look - more oriental again)............and pretend I am not a Sick Puppy.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Special Day ....

Yup today is a special day.. 

A very special day... 

A day marked in history.............. 


Today is W's birthday !!!!


I am home still fighting this ghastly bug........... and now Mother Nature is giving W a birthday present (smirk smirk) it's snowing!!!

Seeing as my plans for celebrating this special day have been shelved - we will celebrate this historical day on Saturday - with roast beast and birthday spankings (cheeky grin) IF I can just get W to agree to "drop 'em" and stick his ass out....

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The "other" side of Christmas

W came over to celebrate with me on the 25th............ W slept in ...Shock oh Shock !!  and didn't get here in time for breakfast - and my Timmy Ho's french vanilla coffee wasn't delivered - because Shock oh Shock !!  There weren't any Timmy Ho's open!!!

We snuggled and open our gifts to each other....... and then found the one restaurant that was open (I think) in the Entire Great White North and went there for lunch before heading off to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.......... 

What a movie !!!  a little campy............ but I loved it !!  I couldn't believe I hadn't read the book - and my reason for not doing so ............. is soooo ..........me.  I didn't like the cover of the book...... so I didn't read it.  Hey - sometimes I do chose my books by their covers!!

It was an early night for me as I was pooped - felt like I was dragging my ass after all the cooking, cleaning, wrapping, baking, kids, and noise NOISE NOISE of the past week or so........  

oh and did I tell you??? I have a bug...(see me pout??) Everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE .... had had the bug in the weeks prior to Christmas break - on the Thursday before the break - I bragged (yeah yeah I know BIG mistake) that I was the only one who had not succumbed to said bug........... the sore throat and achy bones started on Saturday when the kids were here ............ and just kept right on growing...........

Boxing day was spent quietly snuggled up in front of the television with W playing with his new "toy" I gave him.... I was downing Tylenol to help with the symptoms of said bug... but all was right with the world.

Well almost right with the world ............

I had this craving...... this urge........ this burning desire for a spanking...... despite the achy bones.. despite the sore throat..... despite the headache. AND W had brought the BIG toy bag - full of all my "love to hate" toys.  How could I not get a Christmas spanking???!!

Before breakfast W had had me bend over the big chair and had pulled out the blue rose paddle from the toy bag and warmed my ass up so nicely........... it was now a couple of hours later and I was wanting more... more spankings.. more W... 

So I moved over to the sofa and kinda/sorta lay on top of W being the brat that only I can be.... wiggling and pinching and nipping at W's body....... until He picked up the paddle and started paddling my ass in that position (me on top........ LOL yeah you read that right ME on top) 

We were laughing that W's arm needed to be longer and more bendy so he could get some good swats in...when I wiggled around and knelt up at the end of the sofa somehow wiggling my sweat pants down to my knees presenting my ass to him to swat. 

It felt like such a hot position - ok ok I can't explain how my warped mind decides what's hot and what's not........... but this position felt right in my head. felt HOT!!!  I gasped out between swats with the blue rose paddle that it was too bad we couldn't get pictures of the position and W swatting me... 


W scrambled for the camera .. .and the next thing I knew the flash bulbs were going off between hits.... W kinda chronicled the transition from lily white ass to glowing red ......












ok ok so in this picture it looks more pink than red........ but trust me it was RED... and hot and stayed that way for a couple of hours.... 

I had hoped there would be more of the same later on....... but after a lunch of  more leftovers from Christmas Eve my body just gave out......... gave in...... and the bug took over.  

W left just before dinner time and i had a good hot bath and napped the rest of the day / evening away on the sofa - before dragging myself up to bed to sleep the night away - hoping for a miracle cure ................ (which if anyone is interested - did not happen) 

And that dear readers - was my "other side" of Christmas ...............

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas is........

 Christmas is the good china and the best silverware





  (ok ok so the tinfoil throw away casserole dishes don't count!!)


Christmas is laughter..................



 Christmas is surprise.........




Christmas is when the box is more fun than the toy..............






Christmas is light...................... 




and magic............ 


the 'anti-gravity' remote controlled car really DID drive up walls - 
and over the ceiling !!!



 Christmas is believing.............


checking Santa's status on NORAD.........

Christmas is being with the ones you love - and missing the ones who aren't there.



 Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.  ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas to all............



"Maybe Christmas"
he thought
"doesn't come from a store....
Maybe Christmas ....
perhaps....
means a little bit more!"
Dr. Seuss

 





Wishing you all the wonder and magic of Christmas......... 

morningstar and W 

 

Saturday, December 24, 2011

It's Glorious

W sent me the link for the following song...... I LOVE Melissa Etheridge - she has been my idol for years and years !!!

This is her latest Christmas song... and I had to share it with you all.... It speaks softly to my heart ... to my hope that one day the joy and peace of the holiday season will go on and on .......... forever.





I hope you enjoy ...........................




Friday, December 23, 2011

Moment in time...






I looked up from my computer to see these big brown eyes peering over my desk. 

"I'm scared" she said.  I motioned her to come around the desk to me.  She dropped her school bag and then her lunch bag as she came to me... the hat, the scarf and the mitts dropped at my feet as she curled into my lap - buried her head in my chest and sobbed.

"I'm scared" she said again.  "I'm scared my mommy's going to go to the sky and I won't ever see her again"

Her mom is dying of cancer - in palliative care -  and I had nothing to offer her except to hold her tight to me... to bury my head in her hair and whisper "I know you're scared - it's ok to be scared.  I am here any time you need to let the scary out"

We sat hanging on to each other as the sun set.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

C is for cooking-EDITED for clarification

 
D Recipes  -  as requested.............





 

Please note:   the custard powder is Bird's Custard - and I can buy it up here in the Great White North at the grocery store.  I do not know if the french vanilla instant pudding mix would work as a substitute as suggested in the comment section yesterday.  BUT I do thank BlaznScarlet for the urls for recipes and the custard powder.

Nanaimo Bar Recipe

Bottom Layer
½ cup unsalted butter
¼ cup sugar
5 tbsp. cocoa
1 egg beaten
1 ¼ cups graham wafer crumbs
1 cup coconut
Melt first 3 ingredients in top of double boiler. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat. Stir in crumbs and coconut. Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.

Second Layer
½ cup unsalted butter
2 Tbsp. and 2 Tsp. cream
2 Tbsp. vanilla custard powder
2 cups icing sugar
Cream butter, cream, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer
  
NB I have been known to add green food colouring to the middle level with a tsp of peppermint flavouring.

Third Layer
4 squares semi-sweet chocolate (1 oz. each)
2 Tbsp. unsalted butter
Melt chocolate and butter overlow heat. Cool. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Chicken and Stuffing Skillet

      1 tbsp butter
      4 boneless chicken breasts
      1 box Stove Top Stuffing Mix
      1 can condensed Cream of Chicken soup
      1/2 cup milk
      1/2 cup Cheddar Cheese shredded

Heat the butter in a skillet - add the chicken and cook for 15 minutes or until it's well browned on both sides and cooked through.
Remove the chicken from the skillet
Prepare the stuffing mix according to directions except let stand for 2 minutes
Place the chicken on the stuffing 
Stir the soup and milk in a small bowl Pour over the chicken
Top with the cheese 
Cook till cheese is melted

(I doubled the recipe and made ahead of time - put it in a casserole dish added the cheese the day of the party and popped the whole thing in the oven and heated through)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Ham and Scalloped Potatoes

simplest recipe EVER

slice cooked ham in strips 
Add to the bottom of a casserole dish
Make scalloped potatoes (I always add cheese to mine) and pour over the top of the ham.
Cook  according to the scalloped potatoe recipe. 

Enjoy !!!!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Feet Up



Yesterday was an 'easy' day.  

I DID get my hair cut - 

I went from pretty much this.................. 



To this.................... (though I didn't go blonde)




I DID pick up the groceries that I need for the Christmas feasts - 
I DID remember to charge the battery for my camera - 
I EVEN remembered to charge my cell phone (though that was a day late and after the phone died) 
I EVEN tried to find someone to come and sweep the chimney (the Insurance company is yelling for proof - and I quite truthfully forgot - about both - getting it done and telling the insurance company)  and of course I put in a full day at work.......... 


When I got home I ran a duster over the furniture on the main level - and then decided that that was IT!  I put my pjs on and curled up on the sofa and watched mindless television for a couple of hours before heading off to bed.


I will admit the comments from yesterday's blog were running through my head - and I almost - operative word being ALMOST - went and found those recipes you folks asked for... but you will all have to wait for another day.  The vegging time was needed to re-charge my batteries.

Today stretches ahead of me - full of paper work and gift giving - baking mini cupcakes and (if time allows) the peanut butter chocolate brownies.......... 

The countdown continues .................

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Peaceful

It's early morning (again) .......... before the alarm early....... and I am enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day - and the peace and quiet.

I was also thinking how calm I am............. for a change.  It is 4 days until everyone descends on the lil condo for our Christmas Eve celebrations...... and it seems that the preparations are coming along according to schedule.

I keep running through my head the list of To Do's still left to do...........



* wrap eldest daughter's gift
* wrap ex-husband's gift (yes he comes for Christmas and all high holidays)
* wrap a few gifts I have for staff at school
* bake the mini cup cakes
* bake the chocolate / peanut butter brownies (instead of Nanimo squares this year)
* prepare the casseroles (probably Friday night) 
* do one last grocery run - probably today
* get hair cut - definitely today
* ice and decorate the mini cupcakes - the peanut butter chocolate brownies - the Empire biscuits 
* distribute the gifts / cards to staff at school
* wash my one and only "decent" pair of pajamas for pajama day on Thursday
* give the house one last quick clean - 
* remember to charge the battery for the camera!


And that's about it.......... 


Usually I have lists all over the house - post-it notes stuck to the fridge.. the pantry ... the computer - my forehead !!  But not this year.  This year it just seems orderly and organized - all by it's self.  It does help that I seem to have more energy than I have had for many years.......... which is a very good thing.  (like this morning while my coffee was dripping - I cleaned the chicken off the bones for one of my infamous casseroles - chicken I might add - that was cooked last evening when I got home from work)


Yup Christmas is coming - the goose is getting fat - and I may just be ready for it's arrival - for once !
 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Busy Christmas Bee






I was the busy Christmas bee this weekend... 

I was up at the crack of dawn Saturday - stripped the bed linens, grabbed the laundry and headed downstairs.  

I threw the first load of laundry in and then got started on the magical chore of turning a cupboard full of baking ingredients into Christmas treats.  

I had bought a cookie mold tray (sort of like a cookie sheet only there are 12 molds that form the sheet) and was anxious to see if it would turn basic boring sugar cookies into some magical sugar Christmas cookies.  The first dozen cookies would not come out.. i coaxed - I trimmed - I tried sliding a knife under them to lift them - I swore.  They came out finally in pieces - more crumbs than pieces really.  I sprayed the mold / tray a second time with Pam - and even lightly dusted it with flour........ this time I managed to salvage 4 cookies - the rest were crumby pieces.

I was determined to make molded sugar cookies - so I opened the recipe book to make another batch of dough.  This time I noticed the small print at the bottom - "for cut out cookies"  It couldn't hurt right?? so I followed the directions for cut out cookies......... and this time they popped out beautifully!!  YAY

Oh I should mention while the cookies were baking I ran up and down the stairs doing 2 loads of laundry ....... 


Once the sugar cookies were done I started in on a new recipe for chocolate covered cherry cookies.,  oh my god what a lot of work !!!  and a lot of dirty dishes!!  First I made the chocolate batter - then rolled it into 48 balls - then made thumb prints in the center of each ball - then pressed a cherry into the indentations (cherries that had been draining in the colander).  Then I made a glaze in a pot - with chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk and cherry juice.  Then the glaze was spooned over the cherries and the whole batch was put in the oven to cook.  


While they were cooking I dragged the vacuum out and vacuumed the rugs and swept the floors and ran a duster.  


Once the cookie mess was cleaned up I quickly whipped together a casserole for supper.  

Then.,,,,,,,,,,, 

I ran upstairs and got cleaned up and was just getting dressed when W walked through the door ... it was 12:30!!!  We headed off to a lunch munch and spent the afternoon laughing and visiting with kinky friends.


Sunday morning I made W eggs and bacon for breakfast.  While I was cleaning up after breakfast - W came in and gave me the most wonderful hand spanking - with me leaning over the kitchen sink.  I thought I could definitely get used to that... hand spankings are so damn erotic - the connection I feel to W during a hand spanking is hard to describe.  His hand - HIS hand - is giving me the delicious pain I crave..... it brings me closer to him somehow..... (compared to his whipping me or caning me or flogging me - then the instrument gives the pain - yeah yeah I know W is wielding the instrument - it is hard to explain) 


Then W headed off to try and find a Coke neck tie to wear to Charlie's funeral (Charlie was a huge Coke fan) and I settled down to write Christmas cards to friends and staff, put the jam in the middle of the Empire biscuits, and later to snuggle down to have a nice Sunday afternoon nap.


Four and half more days and I am on Christmas break.  Lots to do in the next 4 1/2 days - finish off the Christmas baking - cook the meats for the casseroles for Christmas Eve dinner - do the last minute grocery shopping........... and then sail on into the holidays!!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Sunday Sentiments



I don't know about you folks - but I was ready for a little foolishness today........



Saturday, December 17, 2011

Designer Vaginas??!!!

Yup you read that right........ designer vaginas. 





 Last night - late - I was driving home from the staff Christmas party - thinking about anything BUT vaginas - when this talk radio show brought up "designer vaginas".  I almost turned it to another station - but yes yes I admit it - my curiosity got the better of me.  I mean after all they might have meant - the latest in clit jewelry right??? Some new fancy designer jewelry for one's vagina right?? 


But no - that's not what they meant at all.  They meant exactly what they were implying by the title - Designer Vaginas. Women are flocking (ok maybe not flocking - not at the prices they are charging for this plastic surgery) to have their vaginas worked on.... collagen injected into the lips.......nip and tuck on those protruding lips .... tightening of the vaginal walls......... AND......... oh my god this one makes me want to cross my legs and NEVER uncross them............ an $1800 shot of collagen into the G-SPOT for god's sakes !!!!!!! THE G SPOT!!  (and if you are curious - it only lasts for 4 months - then you get to do it all over again)


What in god's name is wrong with our society???!!!  It is bad enough that women spend fortunes each year for face lifts and botox and all manner of procedures so they can look young forever.  BUT now we are worrying about our vaginas????

And why are we worrying about how our vaginas look?? Well according to the experts because of porn.  Yes you heard me right ... P O R N.  Apparently women are watching more porn and wanting their vagina's to look like the vaginas in the porn.  Now I ask you........ how many men are watching porn and running out to find a doctor that will makes his penis look like a porn star???!!! 
 

What is wrong with us ???!!  We scream foul when we hear of poor female children being mutilated - having their clitorises removed ......... and yet we are running around like chicken's with their heads cut off mutilating our own sex organs all for the sake of some ideal perfection. 


Personally I am quite happy with the way my vagina looks and feels... Kegel exercises work quite nicely to keep those muscles tightened up.. and hells bells - if my G-spot isn't protruding out - see it as a treasure hunt and go looking for it ........ and if my labia are a little big - push them apart and find the joy buried within...... cause I love my vagina just the way it is.........








Oh yeah and before I forget  - if you happen to be in London, England this weekend - there is a "Muff March" with protest signs that say " Keep your mitts off my muff" and "You've put my chuff in a huff".  A march to protest the "pornification of our private parts" 



If you are interested - you can read the full article on designer vaginas here 


 Now I think I will go and start some old fashioned Christmas baking.....and stop thinking about designer vaginas..........

Friday, December 16, 2011

Life

Yesterday morning I ran out to the Island to see the infamous Christmas concert.. It was better than I ever imagined... I don't have the words to do justice to the dedication of all those kiddies / staff / and families.  

I sat teary eyed watching my lil Pigpen singing with his class... and being Pigpen he was one line behind the group most of the time and I could hear him.. hear his crystal clear voice singing out ... and I know it sounds sappy - but it sounded like an angel's voice.



Then his brother came on stage - dressed as an Irish leprechaun.  I watched mesmerized as he sang and danced and even spoke his lines.  My first born grandbaby looked so grown up.... he made me so proud.


 
 I came home feeling that once again the kids' concert had brought the Christmas spirit home to rest in my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



And then ......... I heard from W.  His best friend..... his oldest friend... had passed away at 4 in the morning.  


And now I have no more words.  My heart breaks for W .. for his friend's family...

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tis the Season


The reindeer stand forlornly outside with their limp red ribbons, the rain is falling yet again.  The night skies have been so foggy or smoggy - there have been no bright stars shining.  The Christmas Carols on the radio sound tinny and out of tune.  

I keep hearing a line from a song going round round in my head 
"We need a little Christmas right this very moment - We need a little Christmas NOW"

It honestly doesn't feel like Christmas around here.  The presents are all wrapped and snuggled under the Christmas tree (which just for the record - has put miss ashes totally out of sorts - that's where she naps - that's the window she always looks out - now there are BOXES ??!!) The Christmas food shopping is done and just waiting for me to turn all those ingredients into Christmas treats.  I have my scented candles burning each evening.

And yet - the Christmas spirit has not arrived - at least not in my heart. I think perhaps it might be the lack of snow... the mild spring like temperatures and rain  make it feel anything but Christmasy  (not that I am wishing for sub-zero temps day after day - OR - major snow storms that shut down the city).

But today I have booked off a few hours from school.  Today I am going out to the Island to see my 2 eldest grandsons in the school Christmas concert. The eldest grandson is in the Christmas play.  He had hoped to be picked to be Rudolph - but he is an elf.  From what I hear - he is proud to be an elf - and has thrown himself into the part wholeheartedly. 


Middle grandson - affectionately known as PigPen - is singing in the concert.   I didn't know he could sing.  (Ok ok maybe the operative word here is.. WOULD sing .... ) 


There is one thing about children's concerts that I love.  They aren't perfect.  They never are........ no matter how many rehearsals you have .. no matter how much they practice.... they are never perfect.  There is always one (or two or three) children doing their own thing.... that makes it perfect in my eyes !!


I remember one year - many many moons ago - when I was in charge of the Christmas pageant at our Church.  One of my angels - a 4 year old angel - got stage fright and wouldn't go on.. I remember his mom having a mini breakdown... I whispered in his ear and promised him IF he went on stage with the other angels - I would make sure he got a cookie and juice.  He walked out on stage perfectly.  He looked amazing!!! He turned and even smiled at the audience.  Then..........in his biggest ..loudest voice .... he said "I did it !  Now can I have my cookie ????"  He stole the show.


I also remember the year I was pregnant with my first.  (She was due in January so I was VERY pregnant) and our Mary wouldn't walk up the main aisle to take her rightful place on the stage.  She kept saying over and over and over - "I'm going to throw up"

Well we couldn't have a Christmas pageant without a Mary........ so I grasped her hand and told her to squeeze tight... and I walked down the aisle with her ........ poor Joseph was relegated to following behind.  There were more than a few snickers to see my pregnant form escorting Mary to her place of honour.  


So today I am hoping for a mini Christmas miracle.  I am hoping an hour or so of watching and listening to a group of children put on their Christmas concert - will stamp a little Christmas spirit in this old heart of mine.  


Tis the Season - after all !!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Dual Personality






Most of the time - these days - i am pretty sure i know who / what i am.  

Except for those days i get confused.  
If you have access to Fetlife - you could read W's profile - and it would say he is in a BDSM/vanilla relationship with me........... which makes sense to me (maybe no one else - but hey i'm the one who counts right??!!)  We are like boyfriend / girlfriend most of the time.  We do vanilla stuff together and then when we go to play parties / munches He is my dominant.  It's a bit like leading a double life - but everyone knows about it - so it isn't very difficult - no secrets involved - no lying involved... it just works.

It's all very ethereal..........and sometimes i forget to come back from the times of wearing his collar - come back to being the girlfriend from being his submissive.  It's really hard to explain... 

It seems to me when i am his submissive i am perhaps a little more needy - a little more insecure - a little less graceful about it?? I am not sure...... W used a generic term to describe a generic situation the other day - and i found myself having an emotional reaction to it..... (and yeah yeah unfortunately i let those emotions spill over onto W ) 


But in the light of day - so to speak - i realized generic terms are necessary to make a point.... being generic allows for a whole lot more inclusion in the statement.. 'it's not just about you and me - it's about all of us'....... (do you understand what i am trying to say here??)


Maybe i really do need this mixed dynamic for growth........ it would seem to me that when i am in sub mode i am blind deaf and dumb - but when i am in girlfriend mode i have a better understanding of 'things' ........ maybe there will be a slow merging of the two personae - the submissive and the girlfriend - and then - god willing and the creak don't rise - i will be a more graceful, accepting, submissive.
Until then i switch hats and keep learning...........

Monday, December 12, 2011

Accentuate the positive

What a weekend we had !!!  Well Saturday really........... 

We had a Kinky Christmas party to go to........ but were meeting friends from out of town first for dinner.  They were celebrating their second anniversary and I personally felt quite honoured that they asked us to join them.

After dinner we all piled back to W's house to change for the party... i wore my black and white corset with black thigh highs, black boots ........ and to top it all off a Santa Coat (hey - it was a christmas party!!!)

The party was HUGE !!!  close to 200 people were expected... there was a line up at the door (there's never a line up at the door!!!!) Fortunately it is quite a large venue (it's a renovated garage) .. Everyone was in a festive mood and lots of folks had added festive touches to their usual fet wear.  It started out so much fun !!!

W grabbed the toy bag shortly after we arrived and directed me to the stocks.  I was really UP for this session... I was ready willing and more than able.  W was using the circus whip to warm me up (yeah yeah a whip for warm up - what can I tell you??!!!) When suddenly it stopped.  I looked over my shoulder to see this narcissistic wannabe standing - deliberately - between W and my ass.  I couldn't hear what she was saying.. but she was laughing and wiggling her ass and fluttering her eyelashes.  I told her I wasn't amused and turned my back on her before she could say anything.

So W went back to whipping my ass.. I was right back into it..... mind centered - ass out.. yup yup yup it felt great !!!!  I had had 2 orgasms and we had been playing for about 20 minutes I guess... when suddenly this wannabe was literally in my face.  Her hand stroked my cheek to bring my focus to her and she said "are you mad at me??" with more fluttering of eyelashes and a whining tone that said "what did i DO??"  I lifted my eyes for 30 seconds - wanted to scratch her eyes out - but said "fuck you" and dropped my head and tried to find the fairies that were dancing just off to the side waiting for me... 

The gorean whip came out... i was in my rhythm - rocking  back and forth meeting each hit.. welcoming each hit... when I heard (like a shot from a gun ) this voice say "Camera - where's your camera??" I looked back to see a 'dominant' asking Warren for his camera so he could take pictures of a suspension that was going on...... 

I couldn't believe it !!!

W had  brought his camera because he had previously arranged with a submissive to document her suspension scene - with permission from the organiser of the party - if anyone is interested.  

W picked up the gorean whip again and started again on my ass... but my fairies had vanished in a puff of smoke.. the strikes from the gorean whip weren't even registering - on my body or my mind.  Five minutes later W said "it isn't working is it??" and I said stop - it's not gonna happen

I was angry and W and i talked and talked and I let my anger out - and he hugged me and held me close and i wept a few angry tears... Then the Dom who borrowed the camera tried to speak to me.. tried to apologize - and my answer was filled with anger "Do NOT try and talk to me now.. don't do it!!"  

I pulled my Santa coat on and went outside to have a smoke and walk off my anger.  A couple of folks came to find me.. and when I re-entered the club more than one person said they were going to give the Dom a piece of their mind.  I didn't really hear them or care.. 

The times have changed - there is little if any respect these days for those of us who actually play.  

On Sunday morning the Dom who interrupted our scene (and should have known better - hell wanna know the best one - he DM's for large special events for god's sakes!!) wrote me an apology.  A back handed apology.  He accused us of taking up "prime real estate" for our scene ........ shrug.. we played on a play station set up by the owner.. shrug.. prime real estate?? not really - there was loads of space to walk around us.. AND he pointed out to me he hadn't intended on breaking our scene - after all he waited a whole minute till W turned to take another toy out of the bag before asking for the camera...   I would like to have him on the receiving end of the gorean whip for just 10 minutes.. and maybe then he would understand the concentration needed - the focus - the bond between W and I to make it work..........

Despite an extremely bad experience - I still managed to salvage the evening by visiting with more good friends.. laughing and talking... and cherishing the moments I did have with W.,  W took some wonderful pictures of the planned suspension scene... and we headed home.

Snuggling in bed later I felt warm and fuzzy - and contented.  I am not sure there are any events safe to play at anymore.. but .. shrug... maybe we can find a way .. if not we can always play at home.. and socialize like all the other S/M wannabes at the parties... 


Accentuate the positive - 
Eliminate the negative 
And latch on to the affirmatives............ 





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