February 29

February has to be the WORST month of the year...... it doesn't matter if it has been a 'good' winter or a bad one..... by February I am done with the cold and the snow.

 This past week we had a taste of spring weather....so springy that I even had my first cup of coffee of the day on the front deck !!  Warm sunshine does wonders for the soul.

Thursday brought us back to reality........ snow snow and more snow.  UGH!!  and today it's so cold my face freezes when I go outside.  

Tomorrow is March - and according to the weather man it won't be coming in like a lion (le sigh)  But it's ok I just keep telling myself spring is coming ....... and then camping season...... I can do this!

Life is good when the sun shines

The Voices in my Head

The voices I hear today are not the voices I used to hear...... they are not bringing me down -- making me feel unwanted/useless / stupid.........not anymore... 

The voices I hear today are trying to convince me of my worth...... just as I am.

You see ..... there is a part of me that believes I am not worthy unless I am working 24/7 - I feel guilty when I take time for me.. or when I have days that I do almost nothing... I MUST always prove myself ......... my grandmother used to say - 'idle hands are the devil's workshop'.  If I don't continually work hard - contributing to the family life then I will be discarded.  It is difficult not to feel guilty when Sir Steve goes out to work every single day......... and comes home tired .... BUT I have already been down that road.......  it may be one of the problems of being with someone much younger than myself......... maybe if I was with someone who was also retired this guilt about his working and my being home would vanish.

I am starting to listen to the voices in my head....... trying to come to terms with my conflicting feelings....... trying to see I have nothing to prove....I am good enough just as I am.

Life is good when you start to realize you don't have to prove anything...... anymore!

 

The Moral of the Story is........

There is a metal box that sits across the street from us.  Originally it's purpose was to cover the phone wires that are in the ground........ BUT the first week I was here it got knocked over....... I called the phone company and they eventually showed up.  The technician had a metal rod that he pushed into the ground.... then he duct taped the box to the metal rod.  

That metal rod became the neighbourhood kids' excalibur..... and eventually one day the rod was pulled out of the ground and away from the metal box.  Then the poor lil metal box teetered whenever someone would brush past it.  Some days it lost the fight to remain upright and would be found lying on it's side.... but it always seemed to right itself.

In the winter months it would be buried in snow.... in the spring it would swim in the puddles ... in the summer it would bask in the heat.   BUT it was always there - right across the street standing guard on the neighbourhood.  Three years of winter storms..... spring puddles..... and summer heat.

And here we are in winter again -- and the lil metal box has been buried in snow for the last few months.  Then on Monday night the city came by and cleared the snow banks from the side of the road to allow for the storm that is arriving today.  On Tuesday morning when I looked outside the lil box had been moved about 10 feet down the boulevard and was lying on it's side looking pretty bashed up.  (you try doing battle with a city plow!!) A day later it was back in it's spot - across the road from us - standing proudly upright again.... dented and battered but nevertheless standing!

There is a moral to this story ... I'm just not sure what it is.......... 

BUT

Life is good when the lil metal box survives.........

A Moment in Time

He reaches down to kiss me...... hello - goodbye - just because - it doesn't much matter the reason.......... 

As his lips touch mine his hands go round my body and grab my ass...... pulling my body tight against his.... feeling his cock against my body -- but mostly feeling his hands squeezing my ass....... 

This grabbing makes my knees go weak and my heart pound...... and I want him as much today as I did the first day his hands grabbed my ass.

A Gift ?!

Friday evening Sir Steve came home with this bottle of 'MamaJuana' - a gift from one of the guys he works with - who had been in the Dominican Republic on holidays.

Nice gift right?

If you can get past the name 'MamaJuana' (does it sound like marijuana to anyone else?) and read up on it... 

it has 30% alcohol (our favourite wine has 11%)
It is a concoction of rum, red wine and honey (doesn't sound too bad so far right?)
that is allowed to soak with tree bark and herbs.

It is apparently an elixir of sorts that will cure whatever ails you.  On the label it says it is an aphrodisiac ......... 
on line it says besides it's aphrodisiac properties it is also used to rid you of flu - aid digestion and circulation - cleanse the blood, liver and kidneys.

We couldn't wait to try it out........... maybe it would miraculously cure Sir Steve's bug...

Saturday night Sir Steve poured us each a good shot ............ images of wild sex danced in my head.......... and we both clicked glasses and took a drink........... 



O H   M Y   G O D! 

our eyes bulged
our faces went red
we almost gagged

It took a few minutes before either of us could speak......... 

gasping I declared it was the worst tasting (insert expletive here) I had ever had...... it tasted like mouldy rotting trees ........ it burned like liquid fire.......... 


We waited.......... we took a second mouthful.......... 

ok the second one wasn't nearly as bad........ (had our taste buds shrivelled up and died?)  Maybe it would be better chilled - we put the open bottle in the fridge...... 

I tried to finish that first glass..... I got about 75% of it down -- and then the headache hit!  like a sledgehammer to the back of my skull.

Later we both limped off to bed -- me with my headache - Sir Steve with his bug (obviously no miraculous cure)

The bottle is in the fridge........ and it may just gather cobwebs there........ 

Life is good when you don't die from gifts given.........

Sunday Sentiments

Clarifying.....

I had a number of comments on yesterday's post........ I decided to clarify my thoughts a little bit today.......... 

90% of my days are filled with life and living and loving....... the future is out there ... to be planned and look forward to........... I refuse to be an 'old lady'.... my hair is cut in a funky asymmetrical style..... I now dress to please myself (no more dressing to suit the man in my life - and thankfully the man in my life now expects me to dress to please myself).......  I was extremely flattered last summer when I discovered most folks thought I was 10 years younger than my calendar age....... WOW!  that was a biggy for me!! 

I honestly don't care what other people think about how I dress or how I act... for the first time in my life I feel free to be me... and am having great fun discovering who I really am!! 

It's just ........ sometimes.......... the numbers flash in my mind's eye.. garish coloured flashing numbers -- making me feel fragile and old...and questioning every ache .. every twinge... scaring me............ 

Life is good when you can talk about fears/worries and have friends gather round...


and I am posting this pic cause I have nothing to hide ........ and need to really SEE myself!

On Growing Older

I was remembering - the other day - my 30th Birthday.  I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at my reflection....... my hair was long and in 2 braids and I was shocked... I thought 'oh my god - I have to grow up now!  I am 30!!"  I went out the next day and got my hair cut off and permed and came home looking like my mother.

The next birthday that hit me hard was 50 - the big 5 0 ....... 

BUT truthfully those birthdays weren't that old ya know?!  

Two years ago I got a new doctor - he talked about getting me healthier -- giving me more healthy years........... now I all see in the news is talk about seniors and how the medical profession is trying to give them more healthy years........ life expectancy doesn't count as much now -- now what counts is getting more healthy years 

I am older than my father was when he died -- and in one year I will be older than my mother when she died of breast cancer.  

My next birthday in 8 months is another big one -- a really big one -- it scares me this birthday.  I keep wondering how many healthy years I have left.......... and deep down inside I wish I could turn back the clock -- back to that 50th birthday .. I would change so much......... 

Sometimes reality bites.

Oh fun!!!

I love a clean tidy house.... L O V E  I T!  but I hate cleaning it....... 

I also love schedules ...... so every Thursday is cleaning day.  This week I am disinfecting/sterilizing everything! The windows are open and I am hoping the germs will take the hint and leave .......if they don't maybe they will freeze?!

 I love how - once the house is cleaned - I sit back and admire my hard work... and watch the dust flecks dancing in the sunbeams before they settle back down and gently caress everything .......... 

Life is good when the dust flecks make sure you are not declared redundant 

Sickos

I know the news is full of the Covid virus...... but honestly we have the plague in this house !!

It started in October with all of us coming down with a cold...... my cold stretched into November and morphed into bronchitis.... worse bug EVER!!  by Christmas we were all on the mend - with just a hang on cough.

By the end of January the lil one brought home another cough......that cough is still hacking through the halls......... 

Monday Sir Steve started coughing....... it got worse and  worse - he barely slept for the coughing....... yesterday he came home looking like death warmed over (only I think death would look better) ........ 

The medicine cupboard looks like a pharmacy........ I feel like we should quarantine the house for 14 days........ it's time for these bugs to take their leave - at least from our house. 

Whips and Chains and Floggers - OH MY!

This Sunday's Brunch topic was floggers -- it's funny I haven't been reading the Sunday brunch recently -- mainly cause I have no new opinions to offer.  But for some reason this week I did read and did offer an opinion.

It all got me thinking about floggers and whips and paddles (oh my!) and my life before ..... before I got old?? before something for sure... It might be all the weight I lost about 4 years ago (70 pounds to be exact) all that extra padding may have elevated my pain tolerances..... I just know the few times Sir Steve (my Sadist)  played hard I wimped out.  Last summer I convinced him I didn't HAVE to have whips and floggers and paddles (oh my!) a hand spanking was perfect.  OH the sound of his belt coming off still turned me on -- but the bite of his belt not so much.  (colour me sad)

There are weeks I miss the pain sessions terribly.... I ache for them....... BUT realistically could I handle them?? Or was I just aching for something that no longer was what I actually needed???

This weekend I know I was hoping for some pain........ just to up the ante a bit on our sexy times..... he did spank my ass .... and drag his nails over my body (making me wish - even suggest - for some knife play).  This morning I was wondering if I should talk with Sir Steve about my need/desire for some pain play.  Nothing extreme - just a trial and error on what still turns me on..... what level of pain satisfies my need... OR just a nice long session with the knives........ I do know I can handle the knives and the sweet pain they bring............ 


The thought going round and round in my head -- what if Sir Steve has lost the desire to inflict pain?? It's not the same receiving pain from someone who's only doing it for you........ you can feel the loss of electricity.... (BIG sigh) 

Whips and Chains and Floggers - OH MY! - just a fond memory???

Spoiled

I've told you all how I don't 'do' Valentine's ...... I have always figured if you have to have one day to say I love you -- a commercial day at that -- then I really don't want any part of it.  

Through out my life I have always been very clear with my 'loves' about where I stand on Valentine's Day... so Feb 14th has always been a normal day .......... 

Except for this year....... 

On Monday last week Sir Steve told me we were going out to dinner on Saturday night ....... ok I could handle dinner out......... 

BUT

on Friday night when Sir Steve walked through the door - his arms were full of white roses and a card........... 
I flapped my hands at him like an angry bird !! No no no ...... I don't DO Valentine's Day!!!  NO NO NO!!!
He made me cry -- he said 'you might not DO Valentine's Day ...... BUT I do!" 

Besides the roses and card -- there was one other gift for me.......... 

You all might say "chocolate milk"?? for Valentine's???

It's not just a carton of chocolate milk....... it's a promise......... 

Way back when we were first together... I asked if we could have morning sex -- like sex all morning........ and then have grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate milk in bed for lunch.  Sir Steve delivered........ that one time and not since.


So the chocolate milk was a promise of sorts...........

Life is good when promises are kept and his love trumps my decree

Sunday Sentiments

Just a little something to think about ........ 
 

Phone Call

Just after lunch yesterday I got a phone call from Sir Steve -- he had just heard from the school.  Apparently some child had 'made a death threat' against the lil one.
I think some of the language used by educators can be a little alarmist -- after all - we are talking 7 year olds here... 'death threat'??!!  I think I would have used the word "inappropriate statements"....... but (shrug) that's me.

In the few minutes that Sir Steve and I talked a mess of thoughts ran through my head... .the most nagging one was 'she is going to her Mother's and we won't see her till Tuesday dinner time'....... that wouldn't work - not in my head.  If the lil one wanted to talk about this incident - even if she didn't - some 'checking in' needed to be done - and if Mother couldn't figure out what to give her for a fever (so gave nothing) last weekend... then she sure as hell wouldn't figure out how to 'check in' with her daughter.

So I suggested to Sir Steve that I take a quick run over to the school and check in with the lil one before she left with Mother.  The school wasn't really surprised to see me and immediately took me to find the lil one.  The Principal did assure me that the other child had been suspended (not something I was stressing over) and that the lil one hadn't cried with her so she was fine.  (not the best way to assess how a child is reacting)  

When the lil one saw me I think she thought she was in trouble - after I assured her she wasn't in trouble that I just needed an extra hug.... and to talk with her for a minute she was fine.  I asked her what happened and she told me ' a kid said he would stab a knife into my head '......... warning bells went off immediately.  You see the lil one always - ALWAYS - refers to kids in her class as her "friends"..... never in 3 years have I heard her call anyone a "kid".  I talked to her quietly about how sad it was that this 'kid' had so much anger inside of him........ I said I thought all that anger had just bubbled over onto her......... she was so serious while I talked -- I asked if she 'got it' about the anger bubbling over and she nodded and said yeah she got it - it was like the lil guy last year who had bullied her -- he had been sad inside ........ I said yeah almost the same ........ emotions sometimes just bubble over.

We had a big hug......... and she went off to get dressed to go home.  I watched as one child after another came over to her and hugged her.... it made my heart glad......... there are lots of caring kids out there....... and I knew she would be ok.

Anyone who thinks that teaching is an easy job....... or that teachers are bitching for nothing (during this work action we have here) .......... they really should spend a day in a classroom.......... there are just so many sad angry children.

Life is good when you can hug a kid and know they're gonna be alright.

Valentines......... (le sigh)

(le sigh) 

 I HATE Valentines Day !  It's a holiday I have never understood. 

BUT at Christmas time when we were talking about how Christmas is my FAVOURITE holiday - the lil one piped up and asked 'know what my favourite holiday is?' ... we said 'tell us' and she announced "Valentine's Day"!!!

I couldn't figure it out....... 

When my girls were little I used to make a heart shaped cake - that was my BIG contribution to the celebrations...... soooooo 3 years ago when I moved here I unpacked the heart shaped cake pans - blew the dust off them - and renewed the tradition of a heart shaped cake.

Yesterday when the lil one was vibrating with excitement over today being Valentine's Day - I asked her to explain why this was her favourite holiday...... she looked at me very solemnly and said
' because it is a holiday of love and caring'.

WOW!  kinda made my heart grow 3 sizes ya know..........

We had our heart shaped cake last night (cause she goes to her mother today) and celebrated love and caring........ 

May you all enjoy a day that celebrates love and caring......... 

 

 

 

Galentine's Day

Today we celebrate our girlfriends.... so help yourself from the sweet table and then sit back and enjoy .......... 

This picture reminds me of my youngest daughter and her 'sister by another mother' friend... inseparable... sharing laughter and secrets and dreams.... I always envied her that kind of friendship. 

I'm lucky enough to say I have a couple of friends that 'know' me - all of me - and they didn't run screaming (grinning)

I count myself very lucky that over the last couple of summers I have found a friend who is part of 'my tribe' 

How long?


And lastly............ 

Under the weather

For the last ten days I have been feeling 'under the weather'.  It's a chronic condition that was diagnosed 9 years ago and involved nearly 4 weeks in hospital.  I haven't had too much trouble since then -- oh the occasional twinge -- but this time it's seems to be a bigger deal.  On Sunday I bit the bullet and put myself on a liquid diet.  I am on day 3 ....... I am as weak as a kitten and the pain is not much better.  In the back of my mind is the thought I might have to actually give in and go see a doctor...... colour me not thrilled with that idea.  BUT they (medical people) do say that 7 days of liquid diet (broths jello juices) can heal this problem.  I am hoping.

Yesterday was yet another strike day .......... and the lil one was home for the day.  Sir Steve took the day off to allow me to rest .......... he even took the lil one grocery shopping!!  When they came home they brought this for me - in the hopes it might cheer me up......................

Then this afternoon I came to sit on the couch and there on the table was this note from the lil one

Life is good when loved ones take care of you.............


 

Know what's coming?

Do you know what big day is coming?  huh? huh? do you???  No not Valentine's Day -- well yes IT'S coming too - but not what I am talking about....... 

I'm referring to............ Galentine's Day......... 

Have you ever heard of it??  I only learned about Galentine's day this morning on our local morning news show.  It's the day before Valentine's day and is a day to celebrate our gal friends!  I think that's a terrific idea..... one I can get behind!!  (I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day)

And I had this brain wave ......... Why not have a 'blog Galentine' day ??? 

This 'challenge' is pretty open -- hold a Galentine party this Thursday the 13th on your blog..... it can be anything you want it to be... maybe some yummy food pics with recipes (think decadent) or jokes or just thoughts on what gal friends mean to you...... Come on use your imagination... I dare you !!!


Don't have a blog (grinning) don't think that let's you off the hook.. on Thursday you can hold your own Galentine party in the comment section of my blog...... sort of like a pot luck at my place ! 


See you all on Thursday......

One Time Only!

Well this isn't facebook -- and I really don't expect to change anyone's mind......... 
BUT I do feel a need to get stuff off my chest.........

 The above cartoon came across my FB feed this morning.........a lot of editorial cartoons come up ever day....... some of them are very clever (like the one above) but I don't understand why so many Canadians are voicing their opinions of Trump.. honest I don't!  Do we really think we're gonna change anyone's mind?  Do we really think we should stick our noses into their political 'crisis'?  
AND
Do we really believe (does anyone really believe) that opinions posted on FB are gonna change anything??!!  REALLY??!!

Let's take a look at the political situation a little closer to home..... like Ontario.

Our premier ran his platform on a promise of ' a buck a beer' ...... and he won!!  It boggles my mind....... when he was a teenager - he sold drugs out of the trunk of his car at a public park...... he dropped out of school in grade 10....  

The list of the horrific things he is doing to our province is so long I can't do it justice ... but things like giving his MP's a 14% increase in salary and denying teachers a 2% increase... cutting funds for health research... for our OPP (provincial police force) .. women's shelters... tech start up ... 

and his latest embarrassment on a trip to Washington he bad-mouthed Nancy Pelosi and the impeachment trials.... really??!!!  seems Mr Trump must be his idol.. and he needs to suck up??!!!

But honestly no matter how much these politicians make your blood boil is posting it on FB gonna change anything? I think not!  The only way to change the political situation is to 1) educate yourself !!!  dear god please learn everything you can about your local (or not so local) politician........ then 2) V O T E !

and lastly 3) pray that the pendulum swings back to the sanity side

Sunday Sentiments

Lazy Saturday

We're finally finished shovelling out from all that snow ........... well to be truthful we got someone to come plow out our parking in the back...... now we're having coffee and chilling -- 

 

 

FINALLY!

I made it........ I wasn't sure I would ya know...... make it to Friday ..... but I did!!

This week involved taking the lil one to the doctor to follow up on her weight/sugar levels -- it also involved checking out her fever, cough and runny nose.  We got a thumbs up on the weight/sugar (don't have to go back for 6 months!) -- and a warning she was coming down with something (and of course now all the necessary questions about who she'd been in contact with - had she been out of the country etc etc ......... le sigh)

AND because of the teacher's strikes I had her home for 2 days -- I tried to teach her embroidery (Santa brought her a beginner's kit) ........... 

that didn't go as expected -- she couldn't thread the needle and I'm blind so I wasn't much help - and it took FOREVER to get the needle threaded (she broke the needle threading thingy on the first try) Add to that her not feeling 100% it was a bit of a bust.

Then yesterday I suggested she write her Valentine's cards -- that went well - except for the mess on her desk and my OCD kicking in ........ so her desk got cleaned and the cards did get done.

Then she has a science project due ............. well we weren't told when it's due (I hate not having a time line!!).  "State of Matters" - liquid solid and gas.  We worked on the pictures... the titles... and cutting coloured construction paper to size all ready for the final work at school.

It got packaged up and has gone to school with her today ...... the teacher can take it from here........ 

AND now it's Friday -- and a snow storm -- BUT the lil one has gone to school with her runny nose and mother will pick her up this afternoon -- which means I am FREE! until Monday afternoon.  (oh Monday and Tuesday are more strike days next week -- gahhhhhhhhhh !!! BUT I have the weekend to work on finding my sanity)

Life is good when every week ends with a FRIDAY!!

Day Off

The teachers here have been on strike - well rotating ones - since before Christmas ... it would be nice if the damn government would wake up ...... but that's another whole topic.

The lil one is off today and tomorrow.  I did have plans for these days off - like a trip to the library ... it's impossible to keep up with her reading..... eg she got 2 beautiful books from eldest daughter for Christmas and she finished them in 2 days ... le sigh.

However the lil one came home from school yesterday complaining she was REALLY tired.  She curled up on her bed and fell asleep.  When she got up she had fever spots on her cheeks -- temperature 101.  (le sigh) The only good thing about her getting sick is that we have an appointment to see her doctor today to check her sugar / weight levels.  (We're very proud of her -- she was 25+pounds overweight a year ago... we have all been working on healthy food choices and she has been doing a lot more exercise.  It has all paid off... she has lost almost all that weight -- she looks so much healthier........ and hopefully the threat of diabetes has all but disappeared!)

I stressed all night..... I used to stress when my girls would get sick (which was a lot!!) - nice to know some things don't change (NOT) ..... Sir Steve gave her some tylenol and she slept all night - woke up this morning with a helluva cough but no fever! 

Needless to say our plans had to change.  'Santa' gave her an embroidery kit ... and it hasn't been opened.  When we get back from the doctor's I'll see if she's up to learning some embroidery stitches.

Now I think there was a more direct point to today's post  but for for the love of me I can't remember where I was going with this................ 

ahhh well ....

Life is good when fevers break  and we have a doctor's appointment........

Wicked Stepmother

"my name is morningstar -- and I am a wicked stepmother".

Trust me when I say being a stepmother is a very difficult job - more difficult I think than being a mother to your own children.  You walk a fine line - not wanting to upset the apple cart....... worrying about how the father will accept your ideas -- worrying about how the mother will perceive your involvement.  It has been a difficult 3 years -- and a great 3 years as well.  We've had more than a few struggles -- and a whole lot of successes!

I know many of you who commented on my post Chatty Cathy thought I might be missing something.. or was being too hard ... or my expectations were too high. I'm used to those assumptions....... shrug..... heard the same things for 25+ years of teaching...... and from 20+ years of raising my own girls.  BUT I also know that the results of my work produced independently strong /motivated /capable human beings.  That's what really matters.

Soooooooooo getting back to this latest challenge with the lil one.

Sir Steve got an appointment with the teacher on Thursday.  My first question to the teacher was "do you tell the lil one to stop talking?" (because the lil one looked us right in the eye and said the teacher NEVER told her to stop talking).  The teacher said of course - but she doesn't stop.  We discussed how these chatty cathy behaviours have been plaguing us since Kindergarten.  I explained that we were more than willing to work with the teacher -- BUT there was only so much we could do from home. 

Then the lil one joined us.  The look on her face when she saw her dad and I talking with her teacher reinforced my belief that she never believed we would actually come into school and talk with the teacher!  She admitted in front of us all that she had lied about talking - about the teacher not trying to stop her.  We talked about how disappointed we were ..... that we expected more from her... we expected her to show respect to the teacher and the other children in the classroom.  We told the lil one that the teacher was going to send home a 'report' on how she was doing every week... that we were all going to work together.

(in my experience - children whose families communicated with me - brain stormed with me for solutions - and keeping the children included in those meetings/brain storming sessions - those were the children who improved the most !)

Then the lil one went off to her mother's for the weekend.  Over the weekend I brainstormed some ideas that might help the lil one to focus and work to her full potential.  She knows what I expect .... and when we work together here at home she never fails to produce her best.  How to get her to work like that when I wasn't with her??? 

I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea. 

One of the mantras I have been using with her is "I don't like this behaviour BUT I do love you and always will!"  separate the behaviour from the child....... make damn sure the child knows you love them !!

When the lil one came home to us yesterday I had an infinity bracelet for her..... a love forever bracelet.  I gave it to her and explained that it was to remind her that even when she didn't succeed - even when she broke the rules I would always love her.  AND I added wearing the bracelet every day was like having me sitting beside her watching over her.  

She was watching me intently while I explained why I was giving her this bracelet... she was quiet for a bit but then a grin broke out over her face and she said to me "it's like I have a fairy on my wrist -- and the fairy is YOU" ....... yup I do believe she got it.

Life is good when you find a strategy that works -- for now.

 

Sexting

For those of you unclear on 'sexting'........  

my first attempt at sexting was with Sir Steve - when he was just Steve and we were just - and I do mean JUST - renewing our friendship.  It was New Year's Eve and I was with friends celebrating.  Celebrating involved a fair amount of wine..... (I do not drink so 2 glasses of wine means blotto drunk for me) It was midnight and I was sending off "Happy New Year's" texts to family and friends.  I had about 4 texts going at the same time.... one of those texts was to Steve.   My texting with everyone else ended pretty quickly but Steve and I continued texting.  Finally the party I was at was breaking up and I was going to stagger off to bed... so I texted "wellllll I am going to take you to bed with me now".  My most daring provocative text EVER!!!  and the truth of the matter is........ I didn't mean it provocatively -- I was simply saying (in my mind anyway) that I was tired ... drunk... and going to bed.

I have read the funny side of sexting..... like this............. 

or this......... 

Those are more my style -- naively provocative.

Well on Friday -- if you remember my post -- I was feeling just a tad.......mmmm... needy.  I was hoping to be sexy and provocative when Sir Steve got home...... but in my heart of hearts I knew the plan would just flop.  I am not (never have been) much of a femme fatale. In my mind's eye I can see what it could look like -- but the reality is I would probably get the giggles or trip over something and fall on my ass - ya know??

So I figured weekend sex would - once again - be left up to Sir Steve.  

BUT as the afternoon progressed I got more and more...... mmmm... needy..... to the point I almost went and found my vibrator.

BUT

instead I went online and found a picture (very explicit picture) of a woman using a vibrator.  I decided to send it to Sir Steve with a catchy line like....... "I am SO horny - but am resisting using my vibrator... trying to save it all for you"  I hit send before I could change my mind... sat back feeling very wicked and waited.

and waited............. 

and waited........... 



It turned out that I had sent that message via Facebook -- not Sir Steve's phone.... which means on his work computer a note popped up telling him there was a message from me.......... he opened it...... and there was this pornographic pic sitting on his screen.  

OOOOOOOOOOps !!

He did answer back -- calmly -- saying "Good it will be fun tonite".
Only when he got home from work did he tell me about the whole office thing.  Colour me embarrassed!!  

BUT -- my attempt at taking the lead passively worked out well.......... we went to bed very early on Friday night....... and Sir Steve demonstrated how much better the real thing is........ compared to a vibrator!!

Life is good even when you fall on your ass trying to be sexy.....