Friday, February 21, 2020

On Growing Older

I was remembering - the other day - my 30th Birthday.  I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at my reflection....... my hair was long and in 2 braids and I was shocked... I thought 'oh my god - I have to grow up now!  I am 30!!"  I went out the next day and got my hair cut off and permed and came home looking like my mother.

The next birthday that hit me hard was 50 - the big 5 0 ....... 

BUT truthfully those birthdays weren't that old ya know?!  

Two years ago I got a new doctor - he talked about getting me healthier -- giving me more healthy years........... now I all see in the news is talk about seniors and how the medical profession is trying to give them more healthy years........ life expectancy doesn't count as much now -- now what counts is getting more healthy years 

I am older than my father was when he died -- and in one year I will be older than my mother when she died of breast cancer.  

My next birthday in 8 months is another big one -- a really big one -- it scares me this birthday.  I keep wondering how many healthy years I have left.......... and deep down inside I wish I could turn back the clock -- back to that 50th birthday .. I would change so much......... 

Sometimes reality bites.


  1. I think you're great no matter what your age. I have never cared about any age gap between friends. It just isn't the focus for me. Keep taking care of yourself, MorningStar! Hugs, Windy

  2. Hi Morningstar, oh to be 30 again! I agree totally with Windy. Aging is something I worry about more and more nowdays too, the 50th hit me hard too. I think worrying about my parents aging made me realise how I was aging.

    I guess the trick is to embrace what we have now.


  3. Better late than never. And since we're all older and wiser now, it's never too late to change.

    This comment was brought to you by "cliches of the world" LOL

  4. I remember the day I became one year older than my grandmother was when she died, and that was a decade ago. When I look in the mirror I realize that I look a lot like her.

    My older neighbour drives me crazy by constantly referring to her age, being old, getting older etc. I never moan about being old or getting old; I just enjoy each day as it comes.


  5. Aging is like a bad joke, one of the ones you laugh about when younger then the reality hits and you're like HOLY CRAP - how did THIS happen?? I know I refuse to allow others to dictate the "rules" to me. There are inescapable realities I can't deny - lines, skin that isn't firm anymore, grey hairs starting to arrive (in that respect, I'm like my mother, who when she died last year at 94, had streaks of silver in her bangs and along her "sideburns" but otherwise still had beautiful auburn hair) - but this is what I am NOT doing - becoming the accepted "mold" of an older woman. No mum cuts, still wearing the clothes I like (jeans and tee-shirts, sweaters)- still opinionated and a rebel. I vow not to care that people might say "mutton dressed like lamb" - or wh is that senior citizen wearing her hair past her butt? Yes, some things suck about aging - but the one thing I embrace is the older I get the less fucks I give what people think about me ... and my friend, is priceless!


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