Mixing together.............

Way back on LOL day - Hermione asked in the comment section: "I'm looking forward to finding out how your life will change once you are living D/s 24/7 with Warren. Maybe you can share more thoughts on that, and how you are preparing for it."

I haven't been ignoring that comment - I have just been waiting for a good time to answer it........... and yes......... time to think over my answer.

W and I aren't kids anymore  - we are both set in our ways  - this coming together will involve more than melding furniture from two homes into OUR home.

I am an OCD neat freak.  W is more laid back - and a "collector" 

I dislike shopping.  W loves it.

I like planning and scheduling.  W is more a "go with the flow" sort of guy.

I hate fights - even fighting for myself.  W loves a good fight (mostly with governments and big business)

I like peace and quiet.  W has to have noise - radio or television going at all times.

I go to bed early.  W is a night owl.

I don't much like frozen food/meals.  W virtually lives on them.

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I think the first step in our coming together is being very aware of our differences.  And believing that we can and will find compromises.  

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One of the first steps we have taken is giving me "my" space.  My quiet room......... upstairs where - when things overwhelm me - I can escape to find my center and my quiet space.

W has the lower level (I refuse!!  to call it the basement cause it is only 6 steps down from the main level and is a beautifully finished area - for his trains  - his computer stuff, car stuff - and his BIG television.  I am hoping we can get two sofas squeezed into this area so that we can watch television together in the "family room", and not always be messing up the living room (which will help my OCD neat freak side)

As for meals - I am so looking forward to having a workable kitchen - where I can cook our meals from scratch and try and get us both on a healthier road........ even making our own bread.

As for D/s 24/7 -  I think after 14 years of chasing the illusive fantasy - we have come full circle and realize that D/s is loving and caring for each other..... that BDSM is a fill in the gap sort of thing. (here's hoping there are lots of gaps to fill in.  There are certainly enough munches/sloshes and events going on to keep BDSM in the forefront of our lives) 

And that's all I have for now Hermione.  I am sure when I move up to Kingston permanently there will be more blog entries on the trials and tribulations of melding two old codgers.

Sicko - updated

well folks - I think I am gonna live - and I think it was the old problem from almost 2 years ago - a mildish flare up, not the gastro going through school. 

Whatever it was I am on the mend and expect to be back at school tomorrow am............ after all can't miss tomorrow - it's our celebration of Dinosaur Days !!

 Thank you all for your suggestions and well wishes :)

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sicko - but not in the good way..................

I have managed (I think) to pick up the bug my staff and my kids have had ........ despite all my hand washing and sterilizing my phone and squirting lysol on anything and everything in my office....... 

I got it.  Last night at 3 a.m. 

Trust me - you don't want details.

 

Play time

This play party we went to on Saturday doesn't just involve play - there is always a lecture/workshop series before hand......... AND......... you are expected to attend it.  (I sorta see it as a surcharge - pay your $20 to play and suffer through the lecture) 

AND.......... the last two times I have been to one of these play parties there is a "business meeting" following the lecture/workshop (another surcharge - the organiser should work for the government - tax on tax !!)

So W had a plan.  He told me when we arrived we were to stake out the St. Andrew's Cross and I was to put our toy bag by it.  The minute the business side of the evening was over we were to make a bee line for the equipment.  In the past we have had trouble getting any equipment as the hordes tend to rush the equipment.  (After all the party runs from 7:30 p.m. till midnight - and with all the surcharges - sometimes play time doesn't roll around before 9:30 ) 

Plan in place off we went to the play party.  And yes the first thing I did was plunk our toy bag by the St Andrew's Cross.   Boring lecture over (the speaker was the boring part actually - I honestly think hard bondage - which is metal and chains and wood - could have been a whole lot more interesting) Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy..... 8:00 he was finished and everyone was just kinda hanging around.  I went to the organiser (not one to mince words) I asked if there was any business to discuss OR could we get on with the play part of the party.  The organiser seemed a little taken back - but said "No no go play" 

So W and I left the gossiping chatting group and headed to the St. Andrew's Cross for some much needed - long overdue  - play time.  W surprised me by starting with a good hard hand spanking.  There is a sting to the bare hand that no toy can match.  I was quickly doing the subbie dance and ouching and whining.  (I am such a good lil masochist ) 

Then the paddles came out - and the tawse (I think) and the whips - especially the Gorean Whip.  I was taking it all very well considering how long it had been since we played - but I wasn't feeling the familiar buzz......... and was wondering if this "problem with my womanly bits" was interfering with my love of pain.  W kept asking the usual questions to judge my level of consciousness - and I was answering him just fine... until I wasn't.  

In my head everything was just fine......... the only complaint I had was I was starting to feel a little chilly - and wished someone would turn up the heat.  The next thing I knew W was saying in that tone that breaks through even the foggiest of fogs "that's it - I'm calling it - it's over!"  And I was wondering what the hell happened - did I do something??  Then W was telling me to turn around and lean against the cross and my body didn't seem to understand HOW to turn around.  My legs were wobbly - my body shaking....... 

Then I was wrapped up on the rocking chair in the social area - shivering and begging W for some coke......... I was feeling light headed and very disorientated.  All a good sign that the endorphins have kicked in BIG time!  I also remember whining to W that my ass hurt - and he must have bruised me (like that is a bad thing !!)  The damn stays in my corset seemed to be rubbing and pressing into the bruised/sore area making it uncomfortable to sit / stand / concentrate.  Finally I begged asked W sweetly to loosen the corset so that it didn't irritate the area so much.  

W seemed interested in playing again - a little later on - but my ass hurt - and I wasn't sure I was up to any more play.  So we packed up and headed home.  I stopped to say goodbye and thank the organiser (I am nothing if not polite with everyone - despite what I may think of them deep down) and his comment to me was "Glad to see you got the play started early" It sounded a tad bit like he was scolding me - but truthfully I didn't give a damn - the man really does need to stop believing his PR team.  

There were no bruises to see on Sunday - though W said there were a couple of red lines across my left ass cheek - and I am here to say on Monday - those red lines were still very tender !!  A nice reminder of a good play session with my W.

learning curve

I have been playing around with what to write about Saturday's play party.  I had a couple of images I was working with............ and then I don't know what happened....but I got stuck on the lack of dress code.  

Now don't get me wrong... the one thing I hated about attending parties here was the pressure to dress up - it always seemed like a major competition..... and I would stand looking in my cupboard and try to make up my mind what I could wear.  Once dressed I always felt like a little girl playing dress up.

Dressing for Saturday wasn't very difficult. I had one black skirt in Kingston and one corset.  But honestly almost no one dresses up in Kingston.. hell they don't even seem to care about the "black only" dress code that exists here.  One woman was wearing a pretty red rubber skirt  - with black rubber rain boots !!!  One other woman had a kimono over some lingerie.. but that was pretty much the extent of fet wear..... I am definitely gonna rethink my personal dress code for Kingston parties.

I don't think it is necessary to dress to the "nines" BUT .......... I also believe if you are going to a party - BDSM or otherwise - it is nice to clean up and dress up - a little bit.  Somehow jeans and t-shirts just don't cut it for me.  It all felt just too casual.  Surely there is a mid point - somewhere between sloppy casual - and dress up Barbie..dontcha think???

This new city - new community - is definitely a learning curve for me.

Sunday Sentiments

adjustments

Ya know  - a lot of people have asked me what changes I see coming down the road when I move in here with W.

I thought I had most of them figured out............... but I missed one.............. finding time and the mind set to write.

I honestly thought I would have a blog entry up this morning and another one on the way for tomorrow.  But here it is 9:00 p.m. Friday night and I haven`t written and honestly don`t know what to write.  It would seem I need solitude - or something - to be able to write............

This is something I am gonna have to work on.

Leaving..........

Remember the song - I'm leaving on a jet plane................... well I am leaving - not on a jet plane but on Via rail 

and heading up to Kingston after lunch today - to spend a long weekend with W.  

Everyone is surprised that I am going by train - it's supposed to be a fairly nice weekend - why don't I save my train trips for the bad weather.  Well everyone would be right - 

BUT - here's my logic.  

First off W gave me 2 return trips by train to Kingston for my birthday.  SO I had the tickets already (well sort of - they were gift cards and I did have to go and actually purchase the ticket)

Secondly I have so much trouble driving home on Sunday - every Sunday!!  My eyes get so heavy - almost as heavy as my heart (which never wants to leave W and Kingston) and I land up having to stop a couple of times on the drive home just to walk around and wake up.  AND that's without doing anything on the weekend.  

This weekend we are going to a play party on Saturday night.  AND play parties always make me a little dopey the next day - and needing/wanting/craving multiple naps. And once a very long time ago I promised W I would never ever drive again under the influence of endorphins.  (that's a long story and better kept for another time).  

So thinking/planning ahead - and assuming I might just be a little high on endorphins - or on the down swing from a high of endorphins - I decided it would be best for me to let someone else do the "driving" so to speak on Sunday.  (aren't I a clever girl??)

I do want to check into the bus - as it is half the price of the train - but parking is a wee bit of a problem (at the bus depot) and I need to check into that ......... but considering it costs me at least $80 on gas when I drive - never mind the wear and tear on the car - I am trying to find cheaper alternatives to driving myself. 

All that to say - I am off to Kingston.  I do expect I can keep you all updated over the weekend - a rare event - as I am bringing my netbook- and will have all sorts of time to play on the pc while W watches his terrible awful television shows (cheeky grin).

And while I am thinking of long weekends - and time off - HAPPY TURKEY day to all my friends and readers from the States.  

June 30th 2013

Well yesterday I completed all the paperwork for my retirement...... June 30th 2013 will be my last day.  I filled in all the forms - signed every sheet - put it all in an envelope and sent it off to the School Board.  

It's official - I can't back out now.

You'd think - hell I thought - I would be doing the dance of joy - but I'm not.  If I don't sell this lil home by June 30th - I am in BIG trouble.  I won't be driving my car - or buying much in the way of groceries.  Talk about living too close to the line !!  

And the stupid thing is - I never realized how close I was living to the line.  Every two weeks my pay cheque would come in - I would pay the bills and put money in savings........ everything one is supposed to do.  

EXCEPT .... my savings were to pay for the taxes and the fuel to heat this place. So not really savings - definitely not a nest egg.  

I am sweating bullets - I HAVE TO SELL THIS PLACE!!!!!!!

Weekend at home

You'd think a weekend at home would be a quiet weekend for me........ not so much.

On Saturday I cleaned up - and did laundry and then had to leave the house at 3:00 cause there was a home visit .  I took advantage of being "kicked out of my house" to go and pick up my train tickets for next weekend.  I am going up to Kingston on Thursday afternoon (Friday being a Union meeting day - and considering as I am retiring ask me if I care about the damn Union meeting?!)

W went to a play party stag on Saturday evening. I spent the evening cursing there was nothing decent on the television - and wondering how he was getting along.........(turns out he had a good time !!) 

Sunday was another up and at 'em day - there was supposed to be another home visit at 11:00 so I got showered and dressed and organised and then joy oh joy !!  I got an email from my agent at 10:00ish that the visitors had cancelled (see my sad face?) 

I figure the more people that trek through here - the odds increase that one of them will actually want to buy it ........... 

Sunday afternoon was the littlest grandson's 3rd birthday........ AND an open house here at the townhouse.  I picked up eldest daughter right after lunch and we headed off to the Island for the celebration.

This little guy is the funniest one of the lot (in my humble opinion).  At Halloween when I asked him what he was going to be for Halloween - he announced in a very loud - indigant voice - he was gonna be "____insert his WHOLE name ___________" 
On Sunday when I arrived at the house little guy came running up to see me and when I said "who's the birthday boy today??" and he announced in the same indigant voice "I am ________insert his WHOLE name _______ not a birthday boy!!" 

I think the greatest delight I had was watching him open and react to his presents.  Everyone else gave him computer games - Skylanders?? do you folks know about Skylanders??? Personally I think that is the biggest rip off computer game going.... having to buy all the different characters (at between $10 and $15 each) to be able to complete the levels !!!  What a marketing tool !!!

Anyway - way back when the eldest grandson was about 3 I gave him the starter set to the Brio trains........ and have added to it from time to time.  I had about given up on giving anymore because the eldest and the middle didn't seem to ever play with it - always wanting their electronic toys.  

Then this summer when I was out visiting - youngest grandson dragged the train set into the living room and demanded someone make him a CIRCLE.  Once done he sat for ages playing with the Thomas the Tank trains round and round the circle.  

So for his 3rd birthday I decided to buy him a bridge and some gates that make train sounds when you push the button and the lights flash ........... and W decided to buy him the dinosaur car complete with a video filming car.  

I was thrilled to see his excitement when he opened the dino car gift from W.  He really was thrilled.  And doubly happy when he opened granny's gift and saw he had more "stuff" for his trains.

After all the excitement of cake and happy birthday was done......... all the grownups were standing around chatting - the older kids had disappeared downstairs to play video games ......... and when I looked around the little guy was sitting happily in the center of the living room playing with his new  Thomas the Tank train accessories.

The weekend ended happily !!!  Even if the stupid ole townhouse didn't sell.

Sunday Sentiments

TA DA !

Some of you offered up great suggestions to get the paint to stick to the Christmas ball yesterday. 

But ya know - you don't spend 30 years doing crafts with kids (little kids at that) and not have some tricks up your sleeve.

So Thursday evening - before I left school - I mixed two parts white paint with two parts school glue and re-fingerprinted my blue ball and left it to dry.

Friday morning I took a big breath and picked up the permanent markers and started to add the details to my snowmen.  

The paint didn't flake!!

The glue worked !!

And everyone was impressed with my Christmas Ball craft.  

 Now the fun will be helping each kiddie make one to take home ......... BEFORE Christmas 2012 !!

Easy as pie.....

Ya think I'd learn - nothing is ever as easy as they say............... 

I wanted to make the above ornaments with my lil guys at school.  The directions sounded easy ......... 

Glass Christmas Ball
white craft paint 
permanent markers for details.

Paint the child's hand white - then place the glass ball in the palm of the hand - separate fingers - and gently roll them up the side of the ball - pressing the fingers onto the sides.  Remove hand - wash hand - store ball to dry.  Once dry add snow man details.... 

Well I tried one first - and it went ok - my snowmen were a little smudgy - and not nearly as distinct as the one in the picture but it was ok.  I let it dry - and several hours later when it was dry I went back to add some quick details.

And that's when the problems happened.

When I tried to draw on the simple details - the white paint started flaking off... and didn't stop flaking............ 

The only good thing was - by the time the flaking had finished - a quick rinse under hot water and all the paint was gone and I could start all over again on the same ball......... 


I have looked everywhere for suggestions to keep the paint on the ball - I googled it - I surfed it.......... and everywhere they say - craft paint (well on the sites for children and as I am working with children - I need kid proof paint!!)

 
can I say HELP !!!!!

 

Something Wicked this Way Comes........

I wrote a whole long blog post continuing my thoughts on Your Kink - My Kink 
 - and then erased it all.

I wrote a second whole long edited blog post continuing my thoughts on Your Kink - My Kink  - and then erased it all.

Ya see this is something I feel in my gut - and I am finding it very difficult to move it up from my gut - filter it through the brain - and get it out here on paper so to speak.

There is more to my angst then just silly lil airheaded players who insist on playing in front of the kids and the vanillas.  Mostly they are just that - silly lil players - but they make me squirm because they are giving My Kink a bad name (whatever my kink is) and they have forgotten the consensual rule - any vanilla in public has not given their consent to be witness to these shanigans.

My concern comes from a whole mess of other things going on quietly behind the scenes.............. 

We are filling in profiles with our deepest darkest fantasies - for anyone to read.. ANYONE

We are open and friendly and welcoming (for the most part) to newbies who come in the front door - because we invite them in.

Almost everyone to a person who has played for any length of time becomes (to a degree) desensitized to "stuff" and it takes more and more to push our buttons - or make us go "ewwwwww" or even go "yummmmmmm" 

And all the while we keep the doors open and we welcome and accept - and say over and over like some silly mantra  "Your Kink may not be my kink - but it is ok".  BUT what if it isn't ok??? what if some really creepy person gets in the front door - and slides into the shadows??? What if what that person needs is not a place to exhibit their kink - but a mental health professional??? 

If we keep on accepting everyone - without thought - or question - one day we are gonna be in big trouble.

Maybe that "one day" has already come.  

I have already heard of one newbie who had rape fantasy and bondage on her profile on some site or other and at one of her first parties she was actually tied up gagged and raped...... 

I have already heard of someone who had "voyeurism" on their profile - but what they really got off on was peeking through windows........

I got caught in a lecture at a play party - one had to sit through a compulsory lecture before being allowed to play - about rubber.  BUT the lecture on rubber turned into us watching a porn film about the lecturer's arousal and ejaculation over and over and over.  That was NOT what I signed up for....... and I did not consent to watching that - and it made me squirm - especially watching the "lecturer's" reaction to a room full of people watching his naked dick spewing forth ejaculate.

I am already hearing rumours of someone who has questionable behaviours - but everyone is just keeping "mum" on his name because after all - Your kink - my Kink - we have to be accepting and what if we're wrong............................

I think it is about time we stopped being so politically correct and started sounding warning bells.  Just by virtue of some of the stuff we do we are a breeding ground for "nut cases" - for rapists and stalkers and more.  I think it is time we were a whole lot more cautious - and a whole lot less accepting and welcoming. 

BUT that is just my opinion.
 

Not Politically correct

Ya know how it seems to be so politically correct for us in the BDSM community to sprout off "Your kink is not my kink BUT your kink is ok"  and how we are all supposed to respect and support someone's kink??  

Well I have come to a place in my life where I am tired of being politically correct.  Cause ya know what - maybe your kink is ok - but maybe your behaviour is not. Maybe it is time to stand up and say "Stop" to those that push the limits of socially aceptable behaviours.  Maybe it is time to remind these folks it is time to separate your kink from the real world.

Honestly I don't want to see a grown woman prancing around in a short skirt - hair in pigtails with a pacifer in her mouth - a teddy under her arm - and maybe even a diaper on - shopping for groceries with her "daddy".   I don't want to see folks in restaurants with chain collars on and leashes calling their Master or Mistress by their title - even kissing their shoes........ 

I DO care about how I am perceived in public - in vanilla life.  And you could be giving us all a bad name - making us all look more like perverts than the vanilla world already sees us.

And the more open and accepting we become - the more we are asking for - inviting in - people we really don't know  - under the ever encompassing umbrella of BDSM...we are opening ourselves up to inviting in the "big bad wolf" and that is so not a good thing. 

I say it is way past time to take a stand ........... 

Stuck

Sometimes - I admit it - I get stuck in a theme.  Like last Friday's LOL day.  I have been stuck there ........ wondering (still) about the ones who come and read and leave.  

I have done the tour of blogs who did LOL day and the ones who didn't.  I have read all the comments - and thoughts - and some of what I read touched a chord inside me.  Like - answering the comments left on my blog.  

Mea culpa.

I don't answer the comments - oh sometimes I do - most of the time I don't.  Rude - downright rude !!  I should know better!!  If someone comes and reads and takes 2 minutes to leave a comment I SHOULD respond to it - no excuses allowed.  Of course I often wonder if anyone comes back to see if I have answered - someone told me they don't....... which then made me think most don't.  But Ordalie (god bless her) she keeps me honest.  If she comments/asks a question and I don't answer it - she gives me a gentle nudge (sometimes not so gentle a nudge) 

I promise from now on - to answer the comments...... even if it is nothing more than a simple "thank you"

And all this thinking about lurkers - got me to wondering where folks have gone... 

Mr. Upton OGood used to comment from time to time.. he even has/had his own blog - a blog that made me think (sometimes till my thinker hurt) ........ not only has he disappeared from my comment section - I can't find hide nor hair of his blog... (of course it doesn't help that for some reason I can't find the bookmark for his blog either - le sigh) 

Then there was a wonderful woman who shared a heart wrenching story via email about being crippled (inspired by a blog entry I did on my fairy who fell from her perch and broke both her feet and how W fixed her)  And then who later on would write to me to correct my Japanese/Chinese ......... which led me to believe she must be of Asian origin. 

Then there was magadala - who had a wonderful blog for the longest time - who answered all my stupid questions when I was new at all this - who just sorta kinda disappeared.  Until last year when I was so sick and in hospital for so long - and W was posting updates - and suddenly there she was commenting on a post - I never told her - but her post made me cry...... a voice from my past reaching out .........

Soudrire who was my very first mentor - lived in California  - and I lost track of her after her Master died - and have no idea where she is ........... 

And oh so many more - who have touched my life through this blog - who became like friends (real friends) and then disappeared.

Ahh well - just thoughts on being stuck on LOL day - and a promise that I will respond to any and all comments from now on......... 

Oh and a new icon on the left side of the page - to remind you and me - that I do indeed love my lurkers - cause if no one came would I still write???

Waste of time

I LOVE a clean tidy house.   I like everything in it's place.  

i do NOT like doing the work to create this space I adore.... but I do it.

i really had no intentions of cleaning house this weekend - just a quick spit and polish - nothing more.

Then I got an email from my real estate agent - someone wanted to view the house Sunday afternoon.  (yeah remember her - the real estate agent?? Remember my initial excitement over selling this place??? Well let me tell you - that enthusiasm has quickly dulled to a pain in the ass and a knot in my stomach)

So Sunday morning - instead of curling up on the couch in my pjs to watch all the taped shows I missed last week - as well as our (W's and mine) Sunday morning news show......... I dragged out the vacuum and the dirty laundry and got cracking.

While I was vacuuming up the damn cat hair in the living room - I wondered to myself - if keeping the house spotless really has any effect on the people that traipse through here.

I will admit when W and I were house hunting this summer - the cleaniness and smelliness of homes did add or subtract from their appeal.  But as I cleaned on Sunday I wondered how many other folk even notice the things that were important to me.  

Every cupboard is organised and neat and tidy - hell even my clothes cupboard is organised from long to short.  My tupperware cupboard has NEVER been so organised. (and it has nothing to do with my OCD!!  I read somewhere that tidy organised cupboards impressed potential buyers)

And these strangers come - walk through - smile and nod and leave.  It takes 15 minutes for a visit - and all day to get it ready.

Yeah somedays it does seem as though " a clean house is a sign of a wasted life"

Have We Forgotten?

POOP !!!

and NO I am not talking about scat play today !!

What the hell happened yesterday ??!!  I did a good post on LOL day - not a great post I admit - I didn't offer rewards of any sort for the most comments - I did not bribe anyone... and I had 6 comments ....... only 6.  AND of the 6 only 3 were lurkers??!!   I am doing something wrong - very very wrong !!

Even my stats were down yesterday - not by much - 30 or 40 - but still down?? on LOL day??? What was that about??!!!



And while I am pooping on stuff - all I wanted all week was for Saturday to arrive, so I could sleep in.......... god I wanted to sleep in......... till 7 ...cause I do have to take my car in for it's winter tune up and get the snow tires put on at 8 this morning (rumour has it there is snow out in friendly Manisnowba - and it's coming our way !!)  BUT did I sleep in ?? no of course not!!!  Missy woke me up at 2:30 puking up a hair ball on the bed (I managed to throw her off the bed linens before the upchucking moment)  AND then my eyes popped open like clock work at 5 sharp !!!    

POOP I say .. POOP POOP POOP !!!

The only good thing I can see on the horizon is there is the Western semi-finals in the CFL this afternoon........... 

I declare today a POOPY day !!! 

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DAMN  - definitely a POOPY day .... the damn football game is a college game for god's sakes !!! I need to learn to read :(

An Invite

Every day I come here and blab about some thing or another thing.  Every day folks come here to read my blabberings.

Most days I don't think about my "lurkers" here on The Journey.  I just check my numbers and smile and continue writing.  But Bonnie over on My Bottom Smarts doesn't forget the silent majority.  In fact she picks a day each year to honour the lurkers....... LOL day - love our lurkers. 

November 9th - today - is LOL day..........which got me thinking of the huge number of you who come and read silently and leave.  I wonder what brings you here day after day... I wonder who you are .. I wonder why you come day after day .... I wonder if you are too shy to comment - or feel you have nothing to add/say.  You would be wrong ya know.   I would love to hear from my silent majority.. I really would.

Today is your day all my lurkers.  Time to peek your head out and leave a little comment or just say "HI".  Bonnie says other bloggers offer incentive like one spank for every comment.  I won't do that......... mainly cause you - my silent majority - wouldn't be around to count them.  But I will encourage you to leave a comment in way of celebrating LOL day

And if you are brave enough/ daring enough - if there is something in particular you want me to discuss - please !!  feel free to leave a topic or two...... After all - I have been writing for years - and need some "prompts" some days.
 

I really am looking forward to reading some comments from my "lurkers" :)  don't disappoint me - cause I know me !!  and I will be dashing home from work at lunch etc - just to see if anyone commented.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And while I am on the topic of commentors - I want to say "welcome back to Joyce"  who was a regular in my comment section - disappeared for a bit - and seems to be back.  Joyce your renewed comments brought a smile to my face and lifted my spirits.

D/s BS

Two events this past week came crashing together to create this blog entry today.  

1)  I read a blog entry that said D/s was BS.  And she did a damn good job of arguing her point.
2)  I read an event listing - for a weekend training course on D/s  - two days of what is... how to... and (maybe) only way to.........

When it comes to training courses - I do tend to perk up my ears (eyes? considering I am reading it on the net) and get interested.  The perpetual student in me LOVES training courses / classes / continued education.  The skeptic side of me always wonders who is teaching the courses/what their credentials are .......... and some of the time (not all) I tend to walk away before signing up. 

But this workshop on D/s - high low medium levels - caught my interest - and I even checked the calendar to see if I could arrange a trip to Kingston the same weekend... then thought about talking about it with W.......... After all - if we are really good well behaved students - there is a play party on the Saturday evening !!!  Never mind the fact that when I finally join him in Kingston I hope we will get back to some form of D/s living.

THEN I read the blog entry D/s is BS.  The submissive who wrote it - did a damn good job arguing the point (one I have made many times) that there is no right way to do D/s.  D/s is something that each couple works out between them - what works for THEM - what doesn't work for THEM - and all the in between stuff.  

The whole idea of a workshop on D/s stayed on the back burner of my mind and just simmered there quietly.  

Last evening I had a little debate with myself.......... IF W and I went to this workshop - we would bring our own unique ideas/style about D/s - and that doesn't hurt a discussion - to have different ideas.  After all this time - we might indeed need a little refresher course..... (ok ok *I* might benefit from a little refresher course) We have never EVER lived this 24/7 and are heading towards a 24/7 - it couldn't hurt to pick up some tips/ideas right???   Never mind it not hurting to meet some folks in Kingston who do believe in some form of D/s in their relationship - folks who won't turn up their noses at us for doing it (as so often happened here in Montreal) 

And so I am coming closer and closer to asking W if we can go to this workshop
 

Rare Statement

I rarely if ever make a comment on the political landscape.  I rarely if ever make a comment on the political landscape of the States.

BUT today I have to say ....... I am very happy with yesterday's results.

As far as politicians go - I believe this man will honestly try to do the best he can !

 

Do's and Don'ts

I mentioned yesterday that W and I went to a munch on Friday evening.  I think because we are new - we are still 'trying on' the different groups in the area - looking for the right fit - or close to right fit. 

We have now attended munches/sloshes/discussion groups and I am feeling pretty much caught in the middle of a maelstorm.  

It would seem that at one time there was one group and only one group.  Then someone came along and was feeling their power and their testosterone and their dominance - and then there was some back stabbing... some nasty rumours ... and then there was the second group.

Now there were 2 groups in the very tiny town of Kingston.  The first group started to flounder ..... and the second group started to flourish.  People flocked to the new group and the new leader with something akin to hero worship.  And this new leader quickly ate up the attention - the power - the adoration.  As his power grew (and power grows because we give these people power) rules started appearing - rules for everything.... and I do mean everything.  And it would appear (to this newbie) that everything is HIS way or no way.  The very first event I attended hosted by this second group - I felt the tension.  Don't break the rules ........... cause if you break the rules you are first humiliated publicly - then you are banned.  People were whispering in my ear - do this  - don't do that.........

Then someone in that group did something terrible - horrible - awful !!!  And publicly they were humiliated and banned.  (though no one quite knows/understands what the hell they did) and so this someone and their partner started their own group.

And now there are 3 groups in the tiny town of Kingston.

Friday evening's munch (hosted - for those of you trying to keep track - by the first now floundering group)  there was a whole discussion about the 3 groups and some of the history.  There was a WHOLE lot of talk about the second group and it's leader.  Seems he loves rules (duh !!)  But doesn't necessarily follow his own rules.  Now I have a problem with that !!!  Why don't the dissatisfied people just walk away??? (that's what I wanted to know) BECAUSE - when it comes to play parties - this guy and this group is the only game in town.

I am trying to understand that.  Here in Montreal there are far more than 3 groups - bigger town - more interests - more groups (I won't talk about the need for power and adoration) BUT the play parties are organised by separate individuals.  They  generally don't have anything - ANYTHING - to do with any of the groups.  So no  one feels a need to stay with any one group.  They can attend any damn play party they want to........ and unless they do something really really bad at a play party (and I still haven't seen how bad someone has to be to get themselves banned - and I have seen a lot !!  much that would have the Kingston groups reeling) if they have the entrance fee they attend.

Anyway back to the Kingston mess - I am still a newbie - hell I am not even living there yet.  I will continue to watch - and read (the second group has more emails flying around then any other group BDSM related or not) and bide my time.  

I honestly believe the answer is someone needs to run the play parties - someone who has NO affiliation with any one group.  Run the play parties as separate entities.  Then folks will be free to pick and chose what munches/sloshes/discussion groups/ and groups they wish to join, with no fear of losing the right to attend the one and only play party.  

But that's just me.  and I am new so what do I know.  I will sit quietly on the side lines and watch - maybe while Rome burns ?! 

     

Simple Project

When I arrived  in Kingston on Friday - W tossed me a local flyer. Inside was this picture of sliding cupboard doors.  There was no question in my mind - they were gorgeous and so "feng shui" for the Master bedroom.  

The Master bedroom has  had these ugly mirrored sliding doors.  It was my secret hope that one day we could change them out for something a little more modern - something that would blend in a little better with the oriental theme.  SO - these doors more than surpassed my hopes and dreams.

W said we would go and look at them on Saturday before the kitchen renovator came over for final measurements.

We left it at that and went off to a munch and had a great time - not getting home till way past my bedtime.

Saturday I slept in - so we dashed off to run messages before the 1:00 p.m. appointment in our kitchen.  We managed to squeeze in some Christmas shopping as well as a quick trip to Costco - AND to Lowe's to look at the cupboard doors.

They were better in real life than in the picture............. W paid for them and said we would be back on Sunday morning to pick them up (the car was full of  our earlier purchases) 

So Sunday morning we went off and picked up the doors.  They were advertised as easy installation.  Do you believe in truth in advertising????  Once W managed to get the old mirrored doors down - they weren't gonna fall off any time soon - trust me on that one!!! He got ready to install the new ones.  He kept saying we were missing bits... but he kept slogging along.  

I should mention the instructions that came with the sliding doors - included the instructions for ALL styles of doors - pivot doors - sliding doors - wall mounted doors etc,  I kept saying to W - read the "sliding door instructions" because well they were sliding doors !!!  Finally we gave up - there were missing parts - or we had the wrong hardware - or something !  So we jumped in the car and went back to Lowe's.  

While W lined up to talk to a salesperson - I went to check out the demo doors and slid one open - looked up and realized that the two metal tracks we had - which we thought were top and bottom - were actually supposed to be hung side by side.  These doors did not have a bottom track.  W looked at the instructions again - and showed me the instructions we should have been following were for the wall mounted doors - not the sliding doors !!??   (le grande sigh) 

Home we went and W managed to get the tracks almost mounted before the batteries in his screw driver gave out,  At that point i decided it was time to head off home, and let W spend a quiet afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I thought I had left W to have a quiet afternoon.  Last evening I got an email from W with these two pictures attached................

Can you believe this man of mine??!!!  He finished the room!!!  Don't the closet doors look like a work of art rather than a door??!!!

I can't believe how wonderful W is.......... I don't know why I can't - cause he proves over and over how much he cares for me............. but as W loves to say he's always been a "bachelor" and feng shui and pretty kitchens and all the "girly" stuff I love doesn't have a whole lot of importance for W - except that it pleases me............ and so he renovates the kitchen with pretty bamboo cabinets and curses and swears and sweats over putting up pretty asian closet doors............. just for me!  I am such a lucky woman/submissive !!!

Sunday Sentiments

History Repeats itself

It was Nov 14th 2007 that I wrote this post.


 Almost 5 years ......... almost.  But almost only counts in horseshoes right???  

Two weeks ago I started with the same symptoms - I kept it to myself.  I worried, I fussed, I stewed, I nearly made myself sick.  

Then I tried calling my doctor.  I left message after message.  I heard nothing.  On Tuesday I sent her a fax......... listing my symptoms saying how scared I was and asked someone - anyone - to call me.

Yesterday - in my Cat in the Hat get up - I drove to my doctor's office to try and make an appointment.  Her nurse told me she really didn't have anything free.  While I was there someone called in and cancelled.  I got the appointment for 4 o'clock.  

Then it felt ok to talk about my fears.  I wrote W.  Somehow (and yeah I know it's stupid) I thought if I didn't tell anyone - didn't talk about it - it would just go away.  It didn't.

I went home after lunch and washed the Cat in the Hat makeup off and went off to the Doctor's.  My 4 o'clock appointment stretched to after 5 - sitting in the waiting room feeling like I was gonna be sick - feeling my heart pounding - my palms sweaty .. I was cold.

And then finally my name was called.  She and I talked.  I told her I was really scared.  I told her I could NOT go back to the oncologist she sent me to before.  She nodded and listened.  

Then she said she would take a look - if she could see some "damage" then maybe she could handle it.  I have never prayed so hard as I did yesterday - that she would see "damage". 

It hurt - I won't deny it - but it didn't hurt as much as the last time.  And she kept telling me what she was doing - what she wasn't seeing - she kept me relaxed.  Then as I was about to give up hope of her finding "damage" she said " yup there it is ........ and there too" and then she took scrapings and more scrapings.  

Then we went back to her office.  She thinks she knows what is wrong this time.  The scrapings should tell her conclusively.  The results will be back in a week or two.  If it is what she thinks.......... then my body is old - and shriveling up and drying up........ normal she says.  And treatable. 

I am not ready to do the dance of joy yet................ but there is hope........ a glimmer of hope that the evil "thing" hasn't started growing again my belly.  AND that is a very good thing !