Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Not Politically correct

Ya know how it seems to be so politically correct for us in the BDSM community to sprout off "Your kink is not my kink BUT your kink is ok"  and how we are all supposed to respect and support someone's kink??  

Well I have come to a place in my life where I am tired of being politically correct.  Cause ya know what - maybe your kink is ok - but maybe your behaviour is not. Maybe it is time to stand up and say "Stop" to those that push the limits of socially aceptable behaviours.  Maybe it is time to remind these folks it is time to separate your kink from the real world.

Honestly I don't want to see a grown woman prancing around in a short skirt - hair in pigtails with a pacifer in her mouth - a teddy under her arm - and maybe even a diaper on - shopping for groceries with her "daddy".   I don't want to see folks in restaurants with chain collars on and leashes calling their Master or Mistress by their title - even kissing their shoes........ 

I DO care about how I am perceived in public - in vanilla life.  And you could be giving us all a bad name - making us all look more like perverts than the vanilla world already sees us.

And the more open and accepting we become - the more we are asking for - inviting in - people we really don't know  - under the ever encompassing umbrella of BDSM...we are opening ourselves up to inviting in the "big bad wolf" and that is so not a good thing. 

I say it is way past time to take a stand ........... 


  1. Ordalie6:52 am

    God! I'll need time to digest your post... but I'll come back because it's really mind-boggling!

  2. I agree, I wouldn't want to see that sort of thing in a grocery store or a restaurant either. Wal-MArt? Well, you kinda expect to see it there.

    Just kidding ;D


  3. well I have another post percolating in my lil brain - something along the lines of consensual........ part 2 to come I promise

  4. Hi, morningstar! I've just found your blog today, and I'm glad I did.

    Nice rant! ;)

    I think that there are two separate issues here, only one of which really involves kink.

    The notion that each and every one of the vast array of possible kinks (whatever they may involve) are worthy of respect and understanding is one that is self-evident to most of us. As long as nobody is harmed or forced to participate, what adults get up to in their spare time is up to them.

    I think that the key thing – and the subject of your beef :D – is the sphere in which those kinky people do those things. There is a huge difference between playing Daddy and daughter in the privacy of one's own home and doing it in a public place, and that difference is the imposition of one's kink on other people.

    The issue is really (as you state) to do with behaviour. That is, it involves and stems from a lack of consideration for others. It doesn't really matter whether such inconsideration involves people playing out their kinky fantasies in public: the exact same principle applies to all manner of things. Some non-kinky examples:

    Boisterous young men being loud and obnoxious, even swearing, when there are small children within earshot... passengers on a train inconsiderately leaving bags on the empty seat next to theirs, wilfully oblivious to the people standing up in the aisle... kids running riot in a library or any other place where charging around yelling at the top of one's voice isn't really appropriate. It's the exact same "Yeah, and?" selfishness that you rail against in your post.

    And it is VERY annoying. But I don't think it can specifically be laid at the door of kink.

  5. Penelope - no you are right it can't be laid solely at the door of kink - but in kink we are asked to accept it and I am so done with accepting something because I am told to.... and if I don't accept then I am judgmental and non-accepting

  6. See, now I've got my thinking cap on.

    Whilst the two issues of "respect my kink" and "watch me practice it in Starbucks" are (IMO) separate, they are also linked in that people who tick both boxes are being hypocritical.

    Such people are asking that others respect/accept their worldview/tastes/predilections, which is fair enough, yet in obliging other people to witness (and so, essentially, participate in) their kink - which is what they are doing if they bust out the riding crop in Starbucks - they do not extend that same courtesy to others.

    It's basically wanting to have your cake and eat it, and I think that you have the right to be miffed at that (and at prickly/over-defensive metaphorical cake-eaters).

  7. Ordalie11:40 am

    "I don't want to see a grown woman prancing around in a short skirt - hair in pigtails with a pacifer in her mouth - a teddy under her arm - and maybe even a diaper on - shopping for groceries with her "daddy".
    Well, that's it! That's why you always make me laugh.

    And Penelope is right! They should be playing Daddy and daughter in the privacy of their own home, not ramming their kink down other people's throat!

  8. I don't mean to take over your comment thread, honest, but I had one final think...

    I think it's important to remember that persons of kink aren't a homogenous group. Like everything in life it comes down to people as individuals; whether they are considerate or not, pretentious or not, 'nice' or not, you name it.

    I would call myself a member of the BDSM 'community', and I don't think you're judgemental or non-accepting. Does my opinion count? Of course! Because no individual 'owns' BDSM, or gets to say what is or isn't The Done Thing. At least, not as far as I know they don't... or did I miss a meeting? :)

  9. LOL - Penelope I have to say - for a first time visitor you are amazing with your thoughts and willingness to comment... don't stop !!!

    oh and stay tuned - there is more coming that is not quite so vague and easy to swallow...

  10. Ordalie - that was part of my point - keep it behind closed doors.. but I have more to say on this topic - and it isn't quite so easy to read.

  11. Anonymous4:00 pm

    I agree! Although, I can't honestly say I've seen anything like that, I live in a rural community. While I think we should all be able to express ourselves, regardless of whether we are into kink or are vanilla, I think people should be respectful of others' ways of expression. People like you referred to in your post are not exactly being respectful of others and need to be told such. We don't have to see vanilla people walking around missionary style, thank god! They shouldn't have to see our kinks either.

  12. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment slavewife - now I have this image branded into my brain of all these people walking around missionary style LOL

  13. Ordalie11:16 pm

    Missionary style??? Would it be some sort of Mother Hubbard dress?


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