Spur of the Moment fun

Saturday morning Sir Steve and I were sitting out on the deck enjoying our morning coffee and browsing the net........ when he looked up at me and said "There's a party today at Des Oubliettes".  

Des Oubliettes is a sort of dedicated play space in the country in Quebec during the summer.  10+ years ago Sir and his wife and I and usually one other submissive would go up every couple of weeks for the parties.  They were casual and involved bringing meat to barbeque -- drinks -- toys -- and fet wear.  They were always great fun. 

10 years ago Sir Steve and I played there -- and it was the last time we played together.

I was very conflicted about going......... all our fet gear and toys etc were in the city -- what food would we bring?  It was scary too -- Sir Steve and I haven't played publicly in ... what? 18 months or so........ It all seemed so overwhelming..........

Sir Steve methodically laid out how it could work.......
run into town pick up our fet gear -- 
run to the grocer and pick up some salads to go with our choice of meat
and then head up to Des Oubliettes

He made it sound so easy -- and I really did want to go despite the butterflies .......... 

We arrived at the party around 3:30p.m. .... and it was like we hadn't missed a party never mind 10 years of parties!!!

We visited for a bit with everyone then went and got changed into our 'leathers' and wandered down to the dungeon to play.  I wasn't sure if I was being bratty because sometimes that is my natural state or if it was from nerves.........

BUT one look at Sir Steve in his leathers with his cover on and my heart melted......... 

We must have played for a solid hour -- I did more than one subbie jig -- sometimes I forget what it's like to play with a Sadist.......  and by the time we were finished my ass was burning red hot and very tender in spots (in fact today -- 2 days after the fact it is still very tender in spots!)

Sir Steve packed up the toys and steered me back to the party.  The barbeque was going so he cooked us up our dinner -- and we chatted and laughed with every one .... all too soon it was time for us to pack up.... after all we had a long drive back to the camp grounds........ 

Life is good when spur of the moment events bring back old memories and create some new better ones ...............

 

Resetting continues

After 8 years LLF and I have been reconnecting or as I like to say 'pushing the reset' button.

This weekend was a big RESET ......... 

LLF runs a BDSM group in Montreal -- something he had let slip over the last -- 4 years I guess it has been.  LLF has been saying he wanted to get back into the lifestyle -- but slowly ..... dipping his toe in and testing the waters.

On Saturday he took 2 big steps towards wading back in.
First he held a munch on Saturday noon.  He was excited about the prospect of the munch -- as well as a little nervous I think.  I was nervous too...... it has been 4 years since I saw any of these people....... and they don't know about the changes in LLF's life and in mine.  I wondered how they would react ......... 

Neither of us needed to be worried .... new folks showed up and old friends.  Our old friends seemed pleased to see us back together ... and happy.  One of the girls said to me (she reads my blog) "it really is like a fairy tale" 

It went well -- very well !  and LLF is already planning the next munch for the end of March.

After the munch we went out for dinner with friends ..... and then we were off to a play party.

LLF had talked to me awhile back about his concerns about playing -- about putting his cover on again -- worrying what would happen.  His Sadistic side was worrying him..... would it come out?? would he control it?? I told him then it didn't matter to me what happened -- I would hold his hand and we would work our way through the maze of emotions together, side by side.

We got to the party and oh my!!  The people that came to talk to us -- to welcome us back -- to say how glad they were to see us there -- to see us there together.  The gentleman that organised the party knew us both from way back when ...... I had dropped him an email rsvping for the party and told him who my "Sir" was now.  (to avoid any confusion when he saw me) He was at the door just like he was in the old days --- greeting people.  He was chatting with the couple in front of LLF and myself and he glanced over their shoulders and spotted me -- the smile on his face was so reassuring.  He announced "morningstar!!!  and your SirS -- good to see you both after this long time".  And it felt like we'd come home.

We spent the longest time wandering around this huge overly crowded -- very noisy play space.  We greeted friends at every turn it seemed.  Inside I was fussing a little bit -- it wouldn't be me if I wasn't fussing over something!!  My mind was on the play to come ..... where would we play ?? I kept looking for equipment that would please LLF -- and for space to play......... 

Finally we settled on a cross -- there were crowds of people surrounding it ...... but LLF strikes quite an imposing persona in his full leathers with his cover on.  As he strode into the crowd -- it parted automatically and people turned to stare at us.  He put the toy bag down and pulled out the collar.  I went to him and our ritual from 8 years ago was renewed.  I turned and he put the leather collar around my neck -- fastening it tight.  He pulled out the cuffs and clips and fastened me to the cross.  I took a deep breath ..... I tried to "go there" in my head -- but I couldn't take my eyes off LLF.  Finally he stood behind me and put his hand on my back -- and I knew it was time to push the final reset button.  

At first I could feel his tentativeness -- and I kept whispering in my heart -- "find your rhythm LLF - find your rhythm"

And then it happened -- the curtain fell away and it was 8 years ago -- and his hands were spanking -- and then the paddle was hitting -- each toy had it's turn..... I thought I was going to cry -- it honestly felt so right -- I was home where I belonged -- under the hands of the one man I totally I trusted ....... and loved.

He pulled the knife out -- and I felt it tracing patterns over my body -- I was also vaguely aware of the quiet that had settled over the crowd around us. And then I was gone -- dancing with my fairies  -- I thought they were gone forever -- but it turns out they were just waiting for me to find my way back.

Later much later I asked LLF how it felt for him...... and the word he used was "freeing".  I smiled cause I knew what he meant -- there were no restrictions on our play ..... it was OUR time together.  There were small surprises for me - the overly large round handle of the flogger thrust between my legs -- tight up against my clit -- for me to rock against -- his hands finding their way around my throat ....... tightening feeling the euphoria that I have never experienced before........ 

Yes it was a play time for the books!  One that will not soon be forgotten -  and hopefully will be relived over and over again at other parties.

I am so very glad we picked the "yes" button on the "do you want to restart" question...... a better decision has never been made !
 

Post Party part II

Today - just some pics from the party - skip if spankings and nudity isn't your thing (cheeky grin) You've been warned !!

 Two against one doesn't seem fair !!

                  Don't drop the crop game - such fun (NOT)                     

             Bruises keeps the brat under control

A teary contented me

 

 

sharing a giggle over the ropes pressing on my jewelry

a very different intensity 

holding a "bitch stick" for MissJ

 

 

 

what an amazing evening it was...

 

 

Post Party

Well I feel I can safely say there was a lot of personal growth on Saturday night.... 

I am extremely lucky to have two very special people who have hung in there for over a year with me - gently encouraging me to get my ass (literally and figuratively) out there into public play again.

I was SO damn nervous when they finally picked me up on Saturday afternoon - not wanting to feel like a "pity beat" - feeling out of place - third wheel sort of feeling.  BUT they went out of their way to make sure I felt included - and that I was their bottom for the evening!!

The potluck dinner and social time was probably the hardest for me.... so many new people - my shyness just descended with a vengeance.   Thankfully Angel was there to lean on when I needed it... but I did my very best to mix a little bit  -- and to eat some food.  

Then it just sort of flowed you know.... we all went downstairs and one minute I was watching a scene - and grinning and the next minute I was "instructed" to stand and hold the cross while they got the toys and got organised.

Nerves made me brattier than usual - and yeah I paid the price!!  BUT once I settled down - and He made me understand that they would not tolerate any more brattiness - the play on the cross went well.  

With my permission they took some pictures and I hope to get them soon so I can share a little of my "pleasure".   It has been a long time since I played with two pretty damn good 'sadists' at once..... so there was a lot of pleasure ....... 

At the end - my anxiety / emotions just overflowed and I landed up in tears... and had a lot of reassuring to do that they were indeed happy tears....... 

We rested for a bit - and I socialized with some friends - going back to the couple a few times for hugs and strokes - and just plain reassurance all round. 

Then she started talking about rope.. and asked if I liked it.  I hesitated.  Rope was something I endured to make W happy - I can't say I ever totally enjoyed it.  She is a rope person and agreed to show me a totally different style of rope.. sensual rope.

I have no idea how long the rope scene went on..... it felt like forever.  And it was amazing!  She had a full appreciation for my piercing and made sure the ropes were intricately balanced over it... so that with each tug of the rope - each wrapping - every little movement of my body brought pressure to bear on the jewelry.  

Then there was a couple of stingy hits with a carbon stick - a true "bitch stick" and she asked if i was prepared to have the ropes removed.

AND dear god!  talk about torment!  IF I thought the ropes going on caused me blessed tension - the taking off was so much more!!!  I honestly have no words to describe the sliding - the rough and soft - the goosebumps that formed on my flesh.  

There is something about being cuffed to a cross - and then bound in ropes - so NOT in control of anything - that is hot for me....relaxing and reassuring all at the same time.

There were more snuggles and more hugs and kisses - and then they bundled me in the car and brought me safely home.  A happy spacey bottom glowing from within,

And so another hurdle from my past has been knocked aside - another small step towards being whole again.  

I am SO blessed to have so many friends to aide in my healing process.

One More Step Forward

On April 6th I wrote "One More Step Forward"   back then it felt like forever till the party - two whole weeks - so much could happen in that time.  

I have been fussing over what to wear...... such a girlie thing to do (rolling eyes) but you see - none of my favourite corsets fit anymore  -- fuss fuss...
Then I had a light bulb moment.  I remembered a leather halter dress I bought about 8 years  ago........... maybe it would fit???   

So I tried it on - and lo and behold  - it fit fine. (ok ok I still want to lose at least another 10 pounds then I will say it fits GREAT) BUT I thought the neck strap needed the snaps moved -  who could do it?? And again I had another light bulb moment - I have a friend in the community who is very into boot blacking and leather.  I asked and he agreed to alter the dress.

Angel and i went yesterday to visit him and his Mistress.  He was gonna fix my dress -- Angel was going to negotiate with his Mistress for a play time at the party.   I was spoiled - not only did he do a minor adjustment to the neck strap -- but he conditioned the leather and polished it bright and shiny.  (8 years hanging in a cupboard had dulled it and made it wrinkly) 

Angel brought me her knee high leather boots.

I felt a little bit like Cinderella - a wave of a few magic wands and the outfit was pulled together.

So Cinderella is ready to go to the party.... to take one more step forward.  
 
and yet I have such butterflies.  I wish this Cinderella could have one more wish --

I wish I could be going with my poly partner -  to be able to play with someone who knows my body so well - who makes me feel so comfortable - comfortable in my own skin - but he feels he's not ready for public play ....... and I have to accept that ...... but maybe a seed has been planted and one day................ ?

For now I will pretend I am Cinderella for one night and go with friends to the party .... 

Just a Moment in Time

The whip was cutting into my ass - I was dancing and cursing.......... 

and then 

His hand slid around my neck ........... not tight - almost caressing .... yet not caressing

My breath caught in my throat......... 

My knees went weak and my belly tightened

It was hot ........... really hot !

And just a moment in time.............. 

Bringing in the New Year

I was invited to a New Year's Eve play party.  I hummed and hawed about going.  Part of my indecision was the idea of going to a play party alone.  The second reason was I was hosting my annual Open House the next day.  

On Thursday I made up my mind!  It wasn't snowing - I had committed to bringing some snacks - and plainly put - why not??!!!  I put on my brand spanking new leather leggings with a red oriental corset (that I haven't been able to get into in years!!!)  I felt good - confident and just a little bit sexy. (Someone did take a few pics of me - and when I get them I promise to post them - well at least one of them!)

When I first got there I felt a little out of place - awkward.  But soon relaxed and was laughing and chatting.  At one point I went downstairs to watch some of the play that was going on.  The temperature was cool downstairs ......... and it was hard to watch folks playing.  It was exactly one year to the day that W and I went to the same party and played for the last time.  Memories flooded back.  I couldn't sit there - couldn't!!  The memories threatened to overwhelm me.  I mumbled something about being cold and headed up the stairs.  As I got to the landing I heard "morningstar"........ it didn't sink in until I heard it again "morningstar" - someone was calling me.

I went back down the stairs and a Dom/Top asked if I would like to play.  I think I took a big breath - ran all sorts of reasons why I couldn't - and then said "YES"!

Best decision I have made in a long time!!

He and another Domme played with me and later on another Dom came over for a wee bit with his knives (yummy!!)  - I laughed and shouted - and swore like a trucker - and did my subbie dance - and thoroughly enjoyed myself!!!  It was a spectacular way to bring in the New Year - to bring in my new life!!  A couple of folks commented on how good it was to see me back playing...... even more commented on how happy I appeared - how good it was to see me laughing again. 

On the late night drive home - I realized I was back ........... yup I am back!

On New Year's Day I changed my profile on Fetlife - it now says............ 



It has been 5 months on my own - life is good - but missing something.
So I am just gonna put this out there.....

In 2016 I would love to find a play partner - I would be quite content being the "other" no matter what number - 2nd, 3rd, 4th?? It's just time I got back into the game........ New Year's Eve showed me I miss (really miss) playing ............ miss laughing and stamping my foot... miss the sting of the whip - the touch of the cool blade against hot skin - the touch of a hand............

 who knows what wonderful adventures await me in 2016

Dipping my Toe Back In

Last night I went to Kink 6 here in Kingston.  After 3 years here I finally managed to go.  Mini me and I made the plan - bought our tickets  - had our "wtf are we doing" moments and went.

What fun we had.  It was held in a beautiful conference center - all monies collected went to Aids work.  

but I am jumping ahead of myself.  I was looking forward to finally having somewhere to wear one of my corsets.  I had it in my mind to wear my black leather corset.  I figured now I had lost some weight it would probably fit. Yesterday afternoon I pulled all the corsets out and tried on the leather one. I had to lace it up as tight as it would go - and still it was way too big on me!!  I could almost slide it off over my head!!!  I guess I hadn't realized how much weight I had lost !!

I finally settled on my "newspaper" corset - even though it is getting big on me I was able to get one more affair out of it. I wore a long black skirt and knee high black suede boots.  Mini me wore a hot lil skirt with top and knee high leather boots.  Off we went.......

It was a night of sense and sound (OHHHHHH the sound -  loud louder loudest music!!  I must be getting old ) Downstairs there were flogging demos, hot wax demos - upstairs there was bondage galore - boot blacking - and pony play - and MUSIC !!

One of the Tops demonstrating flogging is someone I was interested in "trying out "  (yeah yeah I know - the demos were meant to let newbies experience the sensations from certain forms of play - but in my case - I wanted to experience new Tops - cheeky grin)  So I climbed up on the spanking bench - lifted my skirt up over my head and wiggled my ass.  She leaned down immediately and whispered in my ear "you do realize I can't scare the audience right?"  I had a nice sensual spanking - with a promise for a "session" some other time (marking that down on my dance card)

 Mini me had been talking and talking AND talking about visiting / experiencing the boot blacking booth.  Later in the evening we both made our way to the boot blacking booth and I watched as she had her knee high boots done.  It was something she had been lusting over.  Not me so much - but I did agree to let him brush down my suede boots.... best part was I got a mini leg foot massage - and oh my god it felt heavenly - my feet were killing me.

I guess we got home around 1 am and sat for another hour talking about the folks we had seen - the different fetishes - just rehashing the evening......... 

What a fun night it turned out to be....... mostly because of the great company!! 

and if anyone is interested - here's a pic of me just before we left 

 

 

Sunday Sentiments

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on another note :  this is day 4 of the bruising - Sir has made an emergency run to the drugstore to buy some Arnica cream........ here's hoping it will work it's magic

New Year's Party

We had a New Year's Party to attend - the one where my Sir organised a 3some spank fest - with my ass as the target.

It has been a very long time since I was asked to "please??" "handle??" 3 Doms at the same time.  God I was nervous.  All the old "i have to please Sir" "i can't disappoint Sir" came rushing out of hiding. 

But it wasn't as scary as I thought.....not even close.  To my shock and surprise MissA had done her homework and read my profile on FetLife and knew my likes, desires, wants.  She mentioned my liking ice and my brain went into a tail spin.... like ice??!!  me??!!  I said I like ice??!!!  which gave Sir and MissA a giggle.  (turns out that yes I do actually have "likes everything to do with ice" checked off on my profile - who knew?? well yes MissA knew)

Mostly the session is a blur of  Doms (Sir, MissA, and S) popping into my line of sight, of hands, toys, pain, growling, and fairies dancing.  Sir mentioned it was a pity there was no snow as my ass would have appreciated sitting in  a snow bank.........I knew it was hot - god was it hot!!  and Sir was busy snapping pictures.  (it is a tad difficult to swivel your head 180 degrees to see if there are any marks.)

Marks - yes - everyone agreed I had a nice red glow to my ass - but "morningstar never marks" was the general opinion of anyone who knew me.  No marks is the curse of my existence - because though I may not mark - I have all the pain that goes along with massive bruising - and none of the sympathy credit. 

BUT look at this......... 24 hours later and lo and behold I have MARKS!! which explains why I feel like I may have been hit by a truck! 

I honestly can't think of a better way to say goodbye to 2014 and hello to good things in 2015!

How a Sadist says "Happy Valentine's Day"

the above was posted on Facebook by an Armenian friend.  Honestly I don't know anything about the "real" St Valentine - but this works for the blog I have in mind about Sadists and Valentine's Day................ (follow the bouncing ball here)

W and I had a Valentine's munch on Saturday evening with a play party immediately following said dinner.  I decided to please W and wear a dress - a red one in honour of the occasion.  Under the dress I had black thongs - black bra and black stockings and black knee high boots. 

I had completely and totally forgotten why I do NOT wear dresses in the winter!!  

In the time it took me to walk to the car I was frozen !!  The arctic winds were blowing up my dress and giving me a good case of - shall we say - " chapped lips"  

Dinner was nice - the conversation stimulating............. and then we all headed off to a near by home for the play party.  W had loaded all - and I do mean ALL - the toys for the great Valentine beat down. (or is that beat up??) Not long after arriving at the party W and I headed downstairs - we had been forewarned that there was gonna be a big crowd and if we wanted any quality play time we should get to it pretty damn quick.

I  was soon down to my thongs and bra and stockings on the cross - gritting my teeth - trying to find that happy place in my head - but instead only hearing the little voices saying "you agreed to WHAT??!"  (I wonder some times if we played with any regularity - more than once a month - would the beginnings of a public play be easier to absorb)  

But my Sadist (said lovingly and with great respect) cycled through the 'easy' toys first - the two tongued leather tawse - the canes (2 different ones I think) the circus whip - the dog whip - and then he reached for the NEW whip!  the one that raised welts through my JEANS the first time he tried it.  I literally held my breath!  And it hurt - and I finally had to cave and beg W to stop - well not stop - but change toys.  There were numerous other implements used - and welts raised (which I still sported on Sunday) and then W's voice - soft in my ear - I had to focus to hear/understand him - "Who loves you?" was the question.  "You do" was the answer.  "How do you know?" was the next question and as always the answer was "because you beat me".

I realized then and there - that's how a Sadist says "Happy Valentine's" with whips and floggers and canes and ouchies......... leaving me drained and lost in the fog of endorphins..........

The Beating

Saturday night we had a pot luck Halloween party to go to.....

This blog entry isn't about my home made "eye ball" munchies.............

Or my bug filled taco bake......

And it isn't about costumes or decorations...........

It's about W turning to me right after dinner and saying "let's go downstairs".  W NEVER plays that early... W never plays "first"........ but Saturday he did.

And everything else felt different too........

We were all set up on the "step ladder" apparatus  and there was a subbie beside me tied to the pole - and there was a Dom sitting over in the shadows with a drum.  

Soon as W started in on my ass - I could hear this drumming - a strong beat - that W kept time to............. or the drum kept time to W..... which ever way it went - (though the drummer told me later he was keeping time to W's swing) my head went into the beat of the drum - the music of the drum.... and the drumming fever seemed to swamp my mind and take over.... and I could barely hear the sub beside me - I was very centered in the drumming caressing my body while the whips and floggers and paddles beat their own kind of rhythm on my body and mind.  

It hurt.

I remember the hurt.  I remember thinking about the hurt... questioning how rational my brain could be to want ... to need .. to crave this amount of hurt.

And the drums drummed on.

And the gorean whip came out and it threw me against the step ladder thingy over and over again until I didn't think my legs would hold me up anymore - didn't think I could bring my ass back out - one more time - for one more hit.

Then the drumming stopped and the beating stopped and I was getting dressed and sitting on a seat - and this little voice was saying really "stupid" things like " my ass hurts" and I heard people telling me they couldn't believe what they had just seen - couldn't believe what I had taken......... and I withdrew deeper into my head. 

And W was doing all the right things - stroking me and talking to me and making sure I was ok - but I was just going deeper and deeper inside - and then to make everyone shut up - I put on smile - stood up - and walked around and made everyone see I was ok.. nothing was wrong..... 

But deep inside - my ass hurt - and I couldn't really understand why I wanted it / needed it/ desired it.

Subspace

Subspace became more than a state of mind on Saturday evening.

W and I and another couple drove up to Toronto to attend a party at a club called "subspace".  It is by day a fetish photography studio  - and by night a private club.

This "road trip" was very spur of the moment.  The couple came over to have coffee Saturday morning on our new deck.......... and the conversation came round to the party in Toronto and how they were going - and why didn't we come too.  

So by 4 o'clock W and I were changed and in the car heading up to Toronto with this couple.  Who in their right mind drives 3 hours to go to a play party??!! Obviously us!!

We stopped for dinner and then managed to work our way over to the club - a 10 minute drive from the restaurant - but because of festivals and torn up streets it took us just over an hour to get there !!!

I was nervous as is my habit when we attend a new club/new play party.  I hate not knowing anyone (ok ok!!  we did have our friends with us - but that didn't count),  We had barely off loaded our toy bag into the club - when W suggested that we play.  The club was smallish - and filling up fast - and if we didn't play then........... well who knew when we would get to play!!

So before my newbie nervousness could get too much of a foot hold on my psyche - I was stripped down and standing on the cross ready to go................

And what a play session it was!!!  For once, my wimpiness took a back seat to my need to fly - fly as high as the moon and back.  W warmed me up with the blue flogger that stings like a thousand bees. (nice warm up !!!)  Then he moved on to the circus whip and all the toys that don't get used in the privacy of the house (due to space issues). 

Saturday night I was in a serious ( very serious) mind set - so there wasn't much bratting about - more like "let's do this!!"  mind set.  I did do a few subbie jigs as the toys bit into my back, ass and thighs raising welts and leaving me sweating and trembling......

And then I whispered to W asking if there was room for the gorean whip.  Something inside me wanted to test the limits again (after a long long time) and go for the gold - so to speak.  W pulled the gorean whip out of the toy back and said "let's give it a go".  The crowd moved back and the DM moved between us and a young girl doing self rope suspension......... and W went at it with all he had. 

It felt amazing - after all these weeks/months - the gorean felt ......... I don't know how to explain it - amazing keeps coming to mind - but it was so much more than amazing.... the strikes hit hard - biting into flesh - pushing me up hard against the wood of the cross - unwinding from my body - sliding back to W like a snake - W drawing back and sending another biting stinging throw across my back ... slamming me once again into the comforting stablility of the wooden cross.  Each time the gorean cut across my body there was an explosion of sound - a thunder - that echoed through the club.  

I think there was a cool down period with another toy - but truthfully I don't remember.  I do remember finding myself sitting outside in the dark on a leather sofa - with W experiencing the burning warmth of my ass.......... and thinking all really was right with the world. 

Most of Sunday was a wash out - we're old now.... and playing all night (and only arriving back home at 5 am!! ) knocked me for a loop (and I think W too).  BUT it was so worth it !!!  The connection that comes from that kind of heavy play............. the dance of the pain ............ W leading... my following - it's just so worth the after effects the next day !!    


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Now today my grandkids arrive - and I will be AWOL for a couple of days........... I'll be back at the end of the week - with a glut of pictures (I assume) and loads to report from our week............... till then play nice !!

Play time

This play party we went to on Saturday doesn't just involve play - there is always a lecture/workshop series before hand......... AND......... you are expected to attend it.  (I sorta see it as a surcharge - pay your $20 to play and suffer through the lecture) 

AND.......... the last two times I have been to one of these play parties there is a "business meeting" following the lecture/workshop (another surcharge - the organiser should work for the government - tax on tax !!)

So W had a plan.  He told me when we arrived we were to stake out the St. Andrew's Cross and I was to put our toy bag by it.  The minute the business side of the evening was over we were to make a bee line for the equipment.  In the past we have had trouble getting any equipment as the hordes tend to rush the equipment.  (After all the party runs from 7:30 p.m. till midnight - and with all the surcharges - sometimes play time doesn't roll around before 9:30 ) 

Plan in place off we went to the play party.  And yes the first thing I did was plunk our toy bag by the St Andrew's Cross.   Boring lecture over (the speaker was the boring part actually - I honestly think hard bondage - which is metal and chains and wood - could have been a whole lot more interesting) Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy..... 8:00 he was finished and everyone was just kinda hanging around.  I went to the organiser (not one to mince words) I asked if there was any business to discuss OR could we get on with the play part of the party.  The organiser seemed a little taken back - but said "No no go play" 

So W and I left the gossiping chatting group and headed to the St. Andrew's Cross for some much needed - long overdue  - play time.  W surprised me by starting with a good hard hand spanking.  There is a sting to the bare hand that no toy can match.  I was quickly doing the subbie dance and ouching and whining.  (I am such a good lil masochist ) 

Then the paddles came out - and the tawse (I think) and the whips - especially the Gorean Whip.  I was taking it all very well considering how long it had been since we played - but I wasn't feeling the familiar buzz......... and was wondering if this "problem with my womanly bits" was interfering with my love of pain.  W kept asking the usual questions to judge my level of consciousness - and I was answering him just fine... until I wasn't.  

In my head everything was just fine......... the only complaint I had was I was starting to feel a little chilly - and wished someone would turn up the heat.  The next thing I knew W was saying in that tone that breaks through even the foggiest of fogs "that's it - I'm calling it - it's over!"  And I was wondering what the hell happened - did I do something??  Then W was telling me to turn around and lean against the cross and my body didn't seem to understand HOW to turn around.  My legs were wobbly - my body shaking....... 

Then I was wrapped up on the rocking chair in the social area - shivering and begging W for some coke......... I was feeling light headed and very disorientated.  All a good sign that the endorphins have kicked in BIG time!  I also remember whining to W that my ass hurt - and he must have bruised me (like that is a bad thing !!)  The damn stays in my corset seemed to be rubbing and pressing into the bruised/sore area making it uncomfortable to sit / stand / concentrate.  Finally I begged asked W sweetly to loosen the corset so that it didn't irritate the area so much.  

W seemed interested in playing again - a little later on - but my ass hurt - and I wasn't sure I was up to any more play.  So we packed up and headed home.  I stopped to say goodbye and thank the organiser (I am nothing if not polite with everyone - despite what I may think of them deep down) and his comment to me was "Glad to see you got the play started early" It sounded a tad bit like he was scolding me - but truthfully I didn't give a damn - the man really does need to stop believing his PR team.  

There were no bruises to see on Sunday - though W said there were a couple of red lines across my left ass cheek - and I am here to say on Monday - those red lines were still very tender !!  A nice reminder of a good play session with my W.

Use me Abuse Me

Saturday as I told you - we had plans to go off to Oubliette.  The steaks and potatoe salad were packed in the cooler and we were out the door around 2:30.  I was a little ambivalent about the whole idea - as I told you........ but hey - nothing ventured nothing gained right????

The dress code for Oubliette - unlike most of the party events in town - is pretty much left up to the individual.  There is absolutely no pressure to wear latex or rubber - or any other form of fetwear.  I wore a little black dress (W loves when I wear dresses and I really should buy more of them) I had in mind - to add a little zest to my outfit - to add the tack bra........ but being the good subbie I am, I asked W if it would amuse him or please him if I wore the tack bra.  He got *such* a look in his eye that I knew immediately what the answer was.............. 

For those of you who haven't stumbled across a "tack" bra on line - or on my blog - a few years back kaya - over on "Under his Hand" posted directions and pictures of her tack bra....... and well - me being me - I wanted one too! I made it and have worn it from time to time to amuse and please............. 

normal looking bra - from the outside - right??

pure evil on the inside

Saturday was no exception - by the time word got around that I needed lots and lots of "big hugs" everyone was either peering down my dress (and bra) or giving me bear hugs.  The secret is - hugs hurt - but they don't really do any damage - and the hurt truthfully isn't THAT bad - just kinda makes me wince - then I readjust the bra - pulling the pointy tips out of the skin and continue on.  Truth be told - the points don't even break the skin with a bear hug.

Miss M who is now classifying herself as "Sadist" (which always made me smile - notice the use of past tense !!) decided after a number of hugs and a couple of hand squeezes - to be more ........ shall we say "enthusiastic".  She grabbed both breasts and squeezed and twisted and squeezed some more.  Miss M very nearly brought me to my knees......  Her ministrations actually broke skin.......................... 

Then Miss M and Lady B decided that the whole area had to be cleaned immediately with alcohol to disinfect the affected area....... can I say "double OUCH"?

And the fun had begun!

A short while latter W cuffed me to a tree and and my whining about not having had a good session in 'foreverrrrrrr' was attended to.  Between wooden paddles and leather straps and whips galore my ass was tenderized.

Somehow or other I managed to barbeque up our steaks and serve W his dinner without burning the steaks or dumping the potatoe salad in someone's lap.  

W and I spent some nice quality time talking with a relatively new sub about BDSM - specifically whips and floggers and paddles oh my !!  She is so cute - she watches W beat me - but covers her eyes and peaks through her fingers - BUT  - she claims to "LOVE" watching us play !!

An hour or so after dinner - W cuffed me up to the tree again and brought out the whips and had another go at my ass.  He commented a couple of times (in amazement) that he was pretty sure I would have a mark or two the next day.  My mind barely registered his comments....... I was too busy fussing over my fairies and the bug lamp.  They were dancing all around the light and every so often I would hear 'ZAP ZAP ZAP' and I was sure my dear fairies were being fried.  

But we all survived and when W dumped me into a garden chair - my fairies danced around my head like a sparkling wreath of fire flies .......... and all was right with the world.




small post script:  I did have a couple of marks on my ass on Sunday - the camera didn't do them all justice - but here's one shot of one welt that does show I earned my stripes on Saturday 

'Our Town'

Ok .. so obviously this isn't a picture of OUR party on Saturday evening... but it does come close to offering the crowd feeling and some of the bizarre outfits.

Come take a stroll with me through the crowds of people and play that took place on Saturday evening........ 




The first thing you may notice is the number of males in black leather pants, vests and hats.  For me they are comforting.  In my mind, they stand for the Leather Community - a community I belong to.... a community that believes in and lives with: protocols and rituals and whips and chains.  They are for me the foundation of this BDSM community - they are after all - according to history - where we all came from.

At both ends of the club/play space are sofas with bodies strewn all over....... these bodies are dressed to impress........ mostly scantily clad - lots of skin showing.  If you stand and watch (it's ok to stand and watch - they LOVE an audience) you will soon see a lot of kissing and touching..... and that woman kneeling at her "Dom's" feet - well look closer - she isn't just kneeling because she is a good submissive - look ...... see... she is actually giving him a blow job as he fondles the breasts of a woman sitting beside him.

Let's move on...... I have little patience for this sort of behaviour - I guess I am old and prudish........... 


Come look - over here - on the massage table.  There is a woman wrapped in saran wrap - semi mummified.  Ahh wax play - you might enjoy watching this...... see how the dripping wax hitting her nipples makes her back arch??? she is enjoying that...... yes yes.. it isn't as intense as it would be without the saran wrap - but she is enjoying the pain she receives - that is what is important.  What?? she is what??? move let me see....... You are right... her "Dom" is encouraging her to squirt ....... DUCK!!!  god she can squirt some distance can't she???  Now I know why there isa thick pad under her body... to sop up all those bodily fluids......... 


Let's move along............. 


Over here - on the table - see the girl lying on her stomach - notice the half moon forming on her shoulder...... watch what the Dom is doing... yes that is a metal leather puncher - yes that is a small blow torch - yes yes he is heating up the tip and applying the metal point to her shoulder -  it's called cell popping.  I hear it doesn't hurt as much as one would think........ maybe one day I would like to try that......... 
ewwwwwwww can you smell that??? it is the scent of burning flesh......... did I say I might like to try that???? I may have to rethink that......... ewwww can't stand the smell .. let's move along.........

There are a lot of real young ones here tonite... that one over there in the bowler hat... cute as a button and just beaming... she looks like a kid in the candy store.  It's her very first ever event and she is soaking in the energy bombarding her.  And that one over there.. with the cowboy hat on... she is bouncing.. ready to find a willing victim... anxious to start the fun.  

And over here.. look at this young couple.  They are young and new too... and have made good use of pervertables.  Those are wooden meat skewers he has clumped together and tied with an elastic in one hand.... and in the other - a dog brush.  See how gently he drags them over her back and down over her legs.. watch her wiggle.  She is enjoying it - so is he.  Look at the concentration on his face....... Newbies playing and having fun.    I love these young ones.. you can almost feel their excitement - it is so strong.  

Oh and that one.. no no .. it is not a very tall woman.  He/she is actually a truck driver in the vanilla world.  He/she is the one who insisted on bringing the journalist to the party.  AND.. I notice he/she is not keeping his word to allow people to come to them - rather he/she is insisting on introducing everyone here to this journalist friend.  Earlier - before we started this tour of "our town" he/she brought the journalist to me.. I guess I wasn't very polite.  I told them both that I had no desire to talk / be interviewd by a journalist.  I reminded him/her that I had too much too lose.  BUT he/she got his way - bringing the journalist over when W opened the toy bag.. and asking W to show the journalist our toys.... my body language spoke volumes - at least I thought it did... Unfortunately no one heard me ........ oh well......... this journalist doesn't look too main stream.


Well the tour is over.. we're back where we started..........and it is time for me to say "a la prochaine" ........