Lecture Time

I know most of the time when I do a "BDSM Basics" blog entry - I am mostly preaching to the choir.  

BUT there were two things that hit me squarely between the eyes over the weekend that I just think need to be said...........

We have SSC ....... Safe Sane Consensual

We have RACK .. Risk Aware Consensual KinK

the one word that appears in both ........ in case you haven't picked it out yet ...... is

C O N S E N S U A L

Now do I really need to define consensual??? Really??? Consensual comes from consent - which means "agreement or giving permission" Got it??  It is a very simple concept........ honest it is !! 

There was (apparently - so I am told) an incident in our Nation's Capital of "non-consensual" play last week.  Some newbie was plied with a little too much liquor 

and then was "sexually assaulted" at a club - that should have at the very least the SSC rule in place.  From what I hear/understand - nothing that happened was consensual - starting with getting this newbie drunk.

Then on Sunday W and I went to a munch.  Do I really need to define a munch?? A social gathering of like minded people in a VANILLA location...... this location was a family restaurant.  In this case one sort of newbie brought a keychain flogger - a pretty harmless little thing - that yes was attached to her keys.  I didn't catch the beginning of this incident - but I did catch the end - because the sorta newbie was groaning and panting as though she was having an orgasm......... which made me look towards that end of the table to see a Dom striking her thigh over and over with this flogger...... leaving visible marks on her thighs.  

These are two different cases of blatant non-consensual behaviour.  The first is obvious - the newbie was in no state/condition to grant her consent for what happened to her.

The second case - the people standing beside the table - by the cash - including the waitresses - did NOT consent to watching/ be exposed to a "little flogging". 

I expressed my displeasure - for lack of a better word - with this flogging incident and it stopped.  I probably wasn't much liked for it.  I was probably thought to be "spoil sport" I don't much care.  All those rules / protocols that I love and talk about constantly - are there for a reason - to protect us - and the unsuspecting vanillas. 

Please - let's keep the CONSENSUAL in SSC and RACK  AND in BDSM in general !!

Use me Abuse Me

Saturday as I told you - we had plans to go off to Oubliette.  The steaks and potatoe salad were packed in the cooler and we were out the door around 2:30.  I was a little ambivalent about the whole idea - as I told you........ but hey - nothing ventured nothing gained right????

The dress code for Oubliette - unlike most of the party events in town - is pretty much left up to the individual.  There is absolutely no pressure to wear latex or rubber - or any other form of fetwear.  I wore a little black dress (W loves when I wear dresses and I really should buy more of them) I had in mind - to add a little zest to my outfit - to add the tack bra........ but being the good subbie I am, I asked W if it would amuse him or please him if I wore the tack bra.  He got *such* a look in his eye that I knew immediately what the answer was.............. 

For those of you who haven't stumbled across a "tack" bra on line - or on my blog - a few years back kaya - over on "Under his Hand" posted directions and pictures of her tack bra....... and well - me being me - I wanted one too! I made it and have worn it from time to time to amuse and please............. 

normal looking bra - from the outside - right??

pure evil on the inside

Saturday was no exception - by the time word got around that I needed lots and lots of "big hugs" everyone was either peering down my dress (and bra) or giving me bear hugs.  The secret is - hugs hurt - but they don't really do any damage - and the hurt truthfully isn't THAT bad - just kinda makes me wince - then I readjust the bra - pulling the pointy tips out of the skin and continue on.  Truth be told - the points don't even break the skin with a bear hug.

Miss M who is now classifying herself as "Sadist" (which always made me smile - notice the use of past tense !!) decided after a number of hugs and a couple of hand squeezes - to be more ........ shall we say "enthusiastic".  She grabbed both breasts and squeezed and twisted and squeezed some more.  Miss M very nearly brought me to my knees......  Her ministrations actually broke skin.......................... 

Then Miss M and Lady B decided that the whole area had to be cleaned immediately with alcohol to disinfect the affected area....... can I say "double OUCH"?

And the fun had begun!

A short while latter W cuffed me to a tree and and my whining about not having had a good session in 'foreverrrrrrr' was attended to.  Between wooden paddles and leather straps and whips galore my ass was tenderized.

Somehow or other I managed to barbeque up our steaks and serve W his dinner without burning the steaks or dumping the potatoe salad in someone's lap.  

W and I spent some nice quality time talking with a relatively new sub about BDSM - specifically whips and floggers and paddles oh my !!  She is so cute - she watches W beat me - but covers her eyes and peaks through her fingers - BUT  - she claims to "LOVE" watching us play !!

An hour or so after dinner - W cuffed me up to the tree again and brought out the whips and had another go at my ass.  He commented a couple of times (in amazement) that he was pretty sure I would have a mark or two the next day.  My mind barely registered his comments....... I was too busy fussing over my fairies and the bug lamp.  They were dancing all around the light and every so often I would hear 'ZAP ZAP ZAP' and I was sure my dear fairies were being fried.  

But we all survived and when W dumped me into a garden chair - my fairies danced around my head like a sparkling wreath of fire flies .......... and all was right with the world.




small post script:  I did have a couple of marks on my ass on Sunday - the camera didn't do them all justice - but here's one shot of one welt that does show I earned my stripes on Saturday 

Sunday Morning Sentiments

you know who you are !

Good Vibrations

We are going to Oubliette today.  For those of you who don't know or for those of you who have forgotten .......... "Oubliette" means small dungeon in french.  And Oubliette is a party we go to up North for the day.  

The party starts around 2ish and goes till about 2ish.  We bring our toys and food to barbeque and it is one big party.  It is kind of fun actually .   Mainly because it is outside high heels and fet wear are more or less forgotten.  Everyone comes in some casual style of Fetwear and we all play and hang out - and then have a communal barbeque.  All in all it is a fun day....... especially if it doesn't rain or isn't too hot!!

This morning I have been thinking (yes again !!) about how I have little if any enthusiasm about play parties these days.  I was beginning to wonder if the exhibitionist inside me has gone........ if the thrill of playing in public has gone....... WHAT is it that makes me ambivalent about play parties??? me the one who used to count down the days till the next one.. who used to beg to go to all the parties in town... what has happened to me??

Everyone else still loves these parties...... everyone else still goes to them...... (everyone else and then some!)  and my mother's words came back to haunt me.......the whole world can NOT be wrong and you be the only one right!  Therefore the problem has to be with me right??? 

And I realized yes ... for the most part the problem IS indeed with me.  

It used to be you knew at a glance who were the Doms and who were the subs. The subs were easy to spot - they were (generally) running around taking care of the Doms... specifically their Doms.  They were teased and mildly humiliated and loved every minute of it.  And the subs (when things were quietish) would congregate together and  compare notes - plan subbie revolts (very tongue in cheek) and giggle and laugh together - but always with one ear open for that snap of a finger or the quiet name called.    


There was a community feeling - and that is missing today.  


Today everyone congregates together - and everyone is treated equal (which I suppose is ok to a certain point) There is an "etiquette" - for lack of a better term - missing though.  Doms ask subs if they want to play - and subs agree - it used to be Doms would ask other Doms IF they could play with the sub (I am talking collared owned subs here) .... subs stood back and waited for a Dom to recognise them - before speaking - even in greeting....... subs followed Doms around just a foot or two behind them - unless told to stay.  

I don't know - to the uninitiated - it probably sounds like a whole lot of gobble-de-gook - but there was something very elegant to it (in my mind).  

You see that is how I learned to DO BDSM - and there was something comforting in it.. something very "feng shui" about it..... it felt right and it flowed and everyone knew what was expected of them - everyone knew the rules and followed them.

You did all this at home - in private - but it was so good to do it all in a safe public arena - and it felt good to know your behaviour was (in a way) being graded by other Doms and subs alike.  And you wanted to be good - to make your Dom proud of you !!!  It was fulfilling and rewarding.  

I wish we could get away from the "have whip - will travel " mentality ..... and get back to a slower more "graceful" time.  But then I am old - a dinosaur - and perhaps long for the past - instead of adapting to the present.

Superstitious

I have mentioned before (many times) the influence my grandmother had on my life - especially when it came to superstitions.  Despite my 'education' and supposedly modern thinking - from time to time I will succumb to those old superstitions....... an open umbrella over someone's head in a house for example will have my fingers  itching to grab it away and close it up immediately.

A few years ago when I moved into my lil townhouse - I wasn't sleeping well.  I put it down to being alone in a big house.  However a friend who spent the night gasped when she saw the bed positioned across the doorway.  She introduced me to Feng Shui and explained the reason I wasn't sleeping was because of the chi moving across my bed during the night - moving from the door to the window.  I changed the direction of the bed and have slept fine ever since.  

Feng Shui became a "superstition" I wanted to learn more about....... and over the years have read articles on it and studied it ........... not to any degree .. but enough to know some of the terms and know some of the problems and fixes.

Fast forward to this summer.  I know most people do not want to hear about Feng Shui - even laugh at the principal and ideas.  So when we started our house hunt - I tentatively mentioned to W that I was going to look for a house that had good "chi".  He rolled his eyes and mentioned to our agent that he had better be prepared ....... *I* was gonna be feng shuing every house.   

The interesting thing to me was ..... our lil house that we found .. our lil quirky house in the midst of all the cookie cutter houses was the one house that even W said "had a good feeling about it - a good flow".  

Over the past few days I have been studying the pictures I took and checking for problems that might arise in the terms of Feng Shui. (and I admit it - itching to get into the house again and take some accurate compass readings and plot out the best placement of furniture etc)  I started to notice that the bedroom in the North East corner of the house had red in it ...... red curtains and red flowers on the bedspread.  I noticed that by the front door they have a table with a round bowl with some pebbles (I think it is pebbles) in it and a lovely green plant.  Here and there I am seeing good Feng Shui (or what I consider good  Feng Shui) in different corners and areas of the lil house.


I can't help but wonder if the flow of the house - the feeling that W got from the lil house the first time he set foot in it  - has to do with the Feng Shui.  


The one thing I do know is that the house is "facing" west and it has 2 ..count 'em.. TWO...... 8's in the address (very good luck) Hopefully my amateur dabblings in Feng Shui are correct........ and ya know what?? even if they aren't - if I believe the Feng Shui is working - if I believe that the chi in the house is good.......... then life is going to be GOOD in our quirky lil house in Kingston.

Torture

and not the good kind.....................

Sometime around 8:30 this morning the pictures on my office wall started rattling.............. after 30 minutes I thought my head was gonna explode.,.....

So i got dressed and went outside to see what the hell was going on............. were the maintenance guys digging up the parking lot??? were the roofers tearing up my roof (it is on the 'to-do' list)????  I couldn't see a thing................ in fact it was 
 virtually dead quiet outside.

Inside however the rattling continued............. was my lil home gonna implode?? WTF was going on???!!!

It is now 1:30 and the vibrating and shaking and constant noise continues. It is absolute torture!   I am ready to tear someone's head off - even miss ashes has decided to hide. 

I have concluded that my next door neighbour must be renovating - yet AGAIN!!! The first hint was the pile of  baseboards that have shown up in his backyard............. maybe he is sanding his floors???? I don't know and don't much care.............  

It's torture - and not the good kind

Troubling Tuesday

Well yesterday was my "blue day" - the weather even matched my mood - cloudy overcast skies and a chill to the air. 

But that didn't stop me from curling up in my secret garden and reading..... loosing myself for a few hours in the world of fiction (I have finished 50 Shades and happily moved on) 

Just after lunch time the doorbell rang.  No one ever rings my bell - well except for Jehovah's Witnesses ...... I almost ignored it - but something made me unwind my legs and go answer the door.

Standing there was this whistling chap holding an amazing splash of colour  called azaleas.   Once inside I tore open the card - Oh I knew who they were from - but W almost never sends a card.  I figured the card would have one word on it "Breathe" ..... but no - it said "This isn't blue and you shouldn't be either".  I stood there smiling and crying and thinking "THAT MAN!!!  What am I gonna do with HIM!!"  and I knew what I was gonna do - the same thing I have been doing for years now - LOVE HIM.

And so the sadness lifted a little - and I know - thanks to all the wonderful people who left me inspired comments - and to this man who sends bright pink flowers on a blue day - that this next year will be a time indeed of goodbyes - but all those goodbyes are just paving the road for all my new tomorrows - filled with adventure.

 

Breathing

I just sent W an email - one where i admitted (as difficult as that was) that i am blue today and I don't know why........... 

It happens from time to time - my getting blue - not as much as it used to - but it still happens.  And I know as much as today is a blue day - tomorrow will probably be better...... especially if I remember to "breathe".  W tells me that all the time "Breathe" he says and I do......... and it helps.

Someone (I can't remember who or when ) told me that every day from September to June I can say "this is my last First day of School - or the last Sept 30th - or the last whatever " for the entire school year - and what a great feeling that will be ............ I know they were trying to be cheerful and helpful about my surviving my last year of work........ but now........ well now it makes me sad.  I don't know anything except working ....... and as much as I bitch about it - and as much as I WILL be glad to retire - there is something sad about it too........ an ending.

And then I think from now till this time next year - every day will be my last - my last summer in my secret garden - my last Christmas in my lil home - my last birthday here - and though I AM glad and excited to be moving to Kingston with W......... it still makes me a little sad that there are all these endings...........

Breathe

The Value of Trashy Novels

On Friday evening when we were out with friends - the conversation came 'round to Fifty Shades of Grey ............. I said it reminded me very much of a Harlequin romance - not sure if the reference would mean much to the younger couple sitting opposite W and I.   (as a side note - when I went looking this morning for an image for today's blog - I was surprised that Harlequin is still around - and - OH MY GOD ! - they are available on Nook - and I am guessing my Kindle as well - go figure!!)

I characterized Fifty Shades as a Halequin Romance type book.  Lots of money - lots of hearts and flowers - a dark side - and will - probably - end (as do all Halequin Romances) with a "happy ever after". 

It's being classified as "mommy porn" which amuses me as well as confuses me...... do only "mommies" need some spice in their lives? or is it an age bracket they are referring to???

Well I am not in need of "mommy porn" - and I do know a bit more about BDSM and spankings than it appears the author does - I find the book tiring - much like I found Harlequin romances tiring........ and predictable.

Having said all those negative things (oh and just so you know - I am slogging through the last book of the trilogy ) I find the books affecting me more than I originally thought they would (after the first steamy paragraphs that sent me looking for my "toys")

I am speed reading through the trilogy - mainly because it is pretty repetitive - every other page has a "steamy" interlude of sex......and they do seem to use sex to fix the problems of the world ....... while my eyes are skimming the words - my mind is creating MY story - something much darker and more exciting - for me anyway. 

Snippets that stay with me - that are blossoming into my own fantasy world include (and please note these are in no special order of importance)

* doggie style sex
* restraints used during sex
* sensory deprivation - sight and sound (YUM)
* rough sex
* erotic / sensual spankings/beatings
* dresses with no panties underneath
* lectures for misbehaving 
* orgasm control and orgasm denial
* firm hand wrapped in the hair tilting the head back - 
* oral sex 



The rest of the verbal diarrhea that passes for a novel - shrug - I couldn't care less about.  The hue and cry that the vanilla world is going to see only the screwed up damaged characters in this book - shrug - doesn't affect me in the least.  This book is billed as fiction - and as such has no bearing on the reality of this lifestyle.

Yes yes it would be nice if someone would write a BDSM based book that shows we are all normal people - BUT HEY - how "normal" are we to vanilla folks who never swat even a mosquito - never mind beat their partner's ass????   AND as I have always said - boring BDSM doesn't sell anything - newspapers or books - or movies.  

The fact that trashy novels add some spice to a relationship....... I'm all for that..... hell even my jaded life has become a little more interesting... a little more spicy .... a little more hot because of the fantasies Fifty Shades of Grey are percolating in my demented mind. 


Here's to Trashy Novels and all the fantasies they inspire!

 

 

Sunday Sentiments

Morningstar's Rule #1

We were out for dinner last evening with some friends (the beginning I think of a few farewell dinners over the next month - well farewell for W )

It is always so nice to actually have quality conversation time with friends (instead of quick chatter that tends to happen at munches and play parties)  We got to talking about this submissive (who happens to be in Kingston) who had written to me a while back asking (based on my blog - god help the poor girl !!) if I would mentor her.  She's so new to BDSM she's all shiny and dewy eyed.


W has had a few email conversations with her.......... probably more than I do actually ........ and one of those email conversations turned into teasing..........which is very much W's style.


After a bit this girl stopped the emails and informed W she was gonna send me the chats to make sure I was "ok" with what was going on. I was impressed.......... and the first thought that came to mind was "this girl has manners".  No sneaking around behind my back - out in the open - no fears.


This episode came up at dinner last evening.  And we were talking about how often subbies think they can just flutter their eyelashes (so to speak) and the Dom will go all squishy and do as they ask .......... (that's just wrong on so many different levels) 


I shared how this was one trait makes me see red.  I have this code that says "it's mine do NOT touch !!!  not without my blessing" and I figure the same holds true for me ...... no one touches me without W's blessing  and yes yes I know - a lot of BDSM practitioners believe the Dom can do whatever the hell he wants to do........ and the subbie gets no say.  

NOT IN MY WORLD......... and if that attitude drums me out of the subbie corps so be it. 

I shared how there is a subbie on the edges of our life who does just that.......... shows up on W's doorstep - most of the time with no warning or 'by your leave' and it makes my blood boil and she doesn't get it (always asking "what did I do wrong that has made her so angry??)  - BUT I think W is getting it..........  I shared how this cavalier attitude was part of our undoing - part of the reason W and I took a "sabbatical" for those months a while back.  

Trust ............. small word with big meaning for me.  I have to trust that I am more than enough for W.  He has to trust he is enough for me. Without that understanding it just isn't gonna work for me....for us!!!

Go back and read the cartoon at the top of this blog entry.... 
it made me smile ......... and added a decorating idea for the new home...... I thought what a cool way to display knives....... (and trust me I now have quite a few).......... In 12 months when I am living with W ......... the knives will guard the gates of our little kingdom I think........... and it ain't gonna end well if subbies just show up unannounced at our door............ (cheeky grin) 

News and more news

One of the  problems with our house search this past couple of weeks is ........ we loved the house we lost........ and it was very difficult to find anything that even came close.

Add to that - I wanted a little quirky house - something a little less "cookie cutter" and with a whole lot more ....... je ne sais quoi ...... personality - I guess is what I was looking for. 

We found this house down a street filled with cookie cutter houses.  The agent feels when they were developing the area - they slotted out land up and down the street for the bigger cookie cutter houses and then were left with this wee bit of land in the middle ..... and decided to build this wee little house. 

The first time W and I saw it...it made me smile - hell it made me giggle.  To start - there is no front door.  The door is around the side of the house......... and for some reason the owners decided to put a deck and a "shadestructure" right at the door........ virtually in the middle of the driveway (go figure!!)

When you enter the house it feels a little bit like it is wrapping itself around you..... (which might just be a polite way of saying it is small (with a capital S)

On the second day of house hunting, both W and I wanted to go back to see this house and one other......... (the other one was a close second - it was much bigger and had virtually everything we were looking for - except as we later learned - a foundation problem) 

When we walked in this house W said (with as much enthusiasm as he ever has) "I like the way this house flows"   I just liked the way it felt.

And talk about quirky - the living room has a chandelier hanging in the middle - the dining room has no ceiling fixture - the fireplace is stuck at the end of the wall - not really in the living room or the dining room............

The kitchen is large (considering the other rooms) but has virtually no counter space.....BUT it does have a dishwasher and I did ohhhhh so want a dishwasher!! 

and the bedrooms??????? well the agent kept telling me we are spoiled here in Quebec with our large bedrooms .......... but I am really struggling with the small bedrooms....... one bedroom is so small W says it can only be an office..... I am thinking a small tv room with a daybed for guests.  The other guest room won't hold a chest of drawers ............ The master bedroom has a king size bed and a couple of small bureaus ......... but there's not a whole lot of room for anything else......

The basement has a good sized "family room".  This room will hold the train layout - and I am thinking the office that W wants to put upstairs.... and maybe another TV ......... 

I don't know if you remember the other house?....... but it had a beautiful backyard complete with landscaping and........ a pool !! This house - the back yard is ........ barren......... big and barren...............

Now I am trying to be positive and say it is a blank slate for me to work with........ no pool - W doesn't see the need for - or want - a pool - but I am thinking maybe a water feature??? a fountain or something....... and flower beds...... and maybe even a zen garden of sorts..........

I've been working on that in my head (sort of) ......... and have come up with these ideas for the backyard 

a touch of the oriental..........

 

with a water feature of some sort

                        and if it was at all possible a pagoda style

gazebo that I could hang my mesh swing in - to curl 

up and read in......... preferably by the water feature

Can you see my dream???

Now to the practical stuff - yesterday we had the building inspection.......... and yeah the house passed - but not with flying colours.  The roof needs to be reshingled ASAP.... the attic needs more insulation - and something done to improve air circulation as there is a problem with moisture ........... 

The driveway with the deck and shadestructure has to be reworked.  The deck needs to come down and be moved (if possible) to the back yard....... the driveway needs to be extended into the backyard a bit and then W would like a garage built (me too actually - there is some doubt the driveway - as it is now - would hold two cars)

We came home last night pooped and excited - we have finally bought a home in Kingston !!!  Move in date for W - Sept 5th.

Just heard from W....... 

He just heard the sellers have agreed to knocking some money off the price to pay for about 1/4 of the roof - so now it is OFFICIAL - we DO have our new home in Kingston!!!

Trains, planes and Automobiles

We're on the train heading west................. be back tonite ....
hopefully with good news......

This is the real engine W/we took ( just for My train friends..)

 

Lazy Hazy Summer

Being me - I love routines - even in the summer.  Over the years my summer routine has evolved into - having breakfast outside under my lil red umbrella with a good book (or not so good book).  When the sun gets too high and too hot I come inside and do some housework.  I usually go back outside around 2ish to read until dinner time.  Some days if I am feeling particularly lazy I will have a little afternoon cat nap curled up outside in my secret garden.

This summer has been a little crazy so far.......between trips to Kingston (which have left me emotionally and physically drained) and chores that got shelved until school finished and the tremendously high heat and humidity - I honestly haven't fallen into my summer schedule.  


Yesterday however I did find myself outside early morning sipping coffee and just enjoying the stillness around me....... I prayed none of my neighbours would be up at that hour - as I had 'snuck' outside in my pj's with my coffee.  Then I got to work cleaning this place....... it was in such sad need of a good cleaning - I am embarrassed to say I actually had "dust webs" !!!  By the time I was done - it was just too hot and humid to move outside.  The air conditioned house was the only place to be.............. 


The problem (in my opinion) with central air  is that the windows are never opened.... I seem to live in this artificial environment of soft whirring sounds and filtered air.  I never hear a bird chirp and or a kid laugh.  Late yesterday afternoon I realized I was going nuts from the quiet....... So once the sun was gone - I opened all the windows - turned the A/C off and just relaxed listening to the quiet evening music of the outdoors.


I read some more 50 Shades - and though I find the writing less than stellar - the 'juicy bits' remind me of when I was in my late teens early 20's and had discovered the "adult section" in the book shop.  I used to love to read the stories from Victorian England and stern "uncles" who chastised and spanked their wayward nieces.  Ana left a comment yesterday on my post about 50 Shades that pretty much nailed it.............. 

she said

I'm sure you'll enjoy them - sitting there making up your own stories in your head while they play along on the pages.

And that's what I have always done - read the lines and created - embellished the plot - with my own fantasies..........  I promise to keep you updated on the story line as time goes on........... 


Tomorrow W and I are going back up to Kingston.  It's just a one day trip though - so we are taking the train ......... the train is only - supposedly - 2 hours - so hopefully the trip will be less trying on both of us.........and who knows - maybe by Friday I will have something concrete to talk about re our house search.

One job I do have on my "to do" list for this summer is to start emptying  out cupboards and bookshelves and all the nooks and crannies and sorting out what to keep and what to donate to charity - combining two homes into one means a whole lot of "stuff" has to be gone before I move............. I am seriously considering putting the lil condo on the market come the fall......... 


And that's about it for Wednesday ......... a little of this and a little of that

High Heat and Humidity

I don't read much during the winter months - well not for pleasure.  I do read lots of educational crap....... but my pleasure reading is saved for the summer.......... for those hot and humid days when there is no energy to do anything....... On those days I curl up under my red umbrella and read my days away.

W gave me a Kobo for my birthday ....... (Kobo is a Canadian version of kindle) and over the weeks/months prior to the summer I started downloading books - ready for my summer marathon of reading.

I had the trilogy "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" I also had a couple of James Patterson books downloaded and ready to go.  

Then I heard everyone talking about this book "Fifty Shades of Grey" including my eldest daughter who sorta kinda recommended it to me - MOM.  Mostly vanilla folks who pooh poohed the whole thing (though it amazed me they had read all 3 of the books - if it was that "disturbing") I heard folks in BDSM yawning over it...... 

Initially I had no intention of downloading it........ I didn't need another book of fantasy to amuse me........... BUT I admit I weakened and downloaded the trilogy.  

Since school has finished I have been devouring "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" when I read the last page of the last book I was left wanting more............. 

But yesterday (another day of high heat and humidity warnings) I opened up the Kobo and decided to pick another book and get reading..And yes you guessed it - I opted for Fifty Shades of Grey.  


At first I was bored - flipping quickly through the opening pages - thinking to myself that the book had been written for college kids....... a little steamy novel to amuse the 20 somethings...... probably the 20 something female sector.


And then I came to the part where the heroine is introduced to the red velvet room of pain...... and then to her consentual deflowering...........ummmmmmmmmm my imagination stirred........ ok ok I admit it - maybe more than my imagination stirred.


I didn't read much further than that juicy bit of the book - before putting it down for the day....... but it left me thinking....... 


Back in the day - BDSM made my stomach knot and made butterflies as big as elephants march around in my stomach.  There is something about an over active imagination to make the mundane more exciting - more thrilling - more seductive.  


I realized over the past few years I have stopped fantasizing about BDSM.... and I wonder if that is why the heat .... the desire.. the drive for BDSM has diminished.  Perhaps I need - and W needs - a little tantalizing fantasy to enrich our lives....... a little eroticism to bring back the heat and humidity to our relationship......... who knows?? 

I do know I will be reading the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy from beginning to end......... it's peaked my curiosity in more ways than one.
 

Promises Promises..........

So.......... to refresh everyone's memory.........

Wednesday evening we arrived in Kingston - and did NOT go to a munch - so we had all this time to kill in the evening.  Oh we could have wandered around the downtown core and watched all the buskers performing.......... BUT .......... we both knew we had another busy day coming up on Thursday of house hunting.... so we headed back to the hotel.

I had stripped down to just the bare essentials when W opened the hotel room and went out to the car............. He returned with the BIG toy bag!!!  I knew I wanted it..... and yet I didn't either.  My mind was swirling around thoughts of finding a home and all the "what if's" that have become part of our home search.  My tummy was still grumbling over the less than stellar meal I had had....... and I couldn't help but wonder what lying on my stomach would do to all the 'grumbling'............ 


BUT as I said the other day ...... Rule #1 the Dom is always right..... so if the Dom thought a session was in order - who was I to suggest maybe it wasn't the bestest of times........ huh??? 


I laid prone on the big queen sized bed and held on for dear life.  It had been weeks since we had had a session - and I knew my tolerance levels were going to be at an all time low.  


I am pretty sure W started off slowish (slowish for him that is) with a paddle - but soon - very very soon - He had warped it up to a cane.............. have I told you I HATE canes??? I wiggled all over that queen sized bed... I clutched at the blankets ... I cursed... I wiggled some more...... but there was no respite for my ass.  


Ohhhhhh W will tell you he took great pity on me and rubbed my ass a couple of times.. He even switched toys .. from the cane to the tawse - and then back to the lexon cane (which hurts wayyyyyyyyy more than the rattan one!!) and even a flogger or two.. and then back to the canes.  I do believe W was taken with canes on Wednesday evening... very taken with them.  Pity I wasn't as taken with them............ (cheeky grin)


I am guessing it was a good 40 minutes of caning and spanking before I felt something ice cold being applied to my ass........ (which if anyone is interested was red..... bright red ... W said it had gotten red really fast this time.  Well DUH!!!  the skin was virginal - I tell you - VIRGINAL - it had been so long!! of course it was RED)  The cold was to help with the swelling and hard lumps and bumps that develop from deep tissue bruising - the only type of bruising I seem to suffer from ......... 


Then it was a hug for the old Dom and murmurs of thank yous and love yous.... and I was left to rub my ass - and be awed by the hardness on both cheeks......... 


Thank god the real estate agent had nice comfy padded seats in his Jeep on Thursday - otherwise it would have been a very painful long day of house hunting !!

Sunday Thoughts

Do you remember the lil girl who came to my office, climbed up in my lap, in the "big comfy chair" and cried silent tears as she told me how scared she was that her mommy would go up to the sky???

When I said goodbye to that lil one two weeks ago I wondered silently in my heart what her summer would be like.  BUT like all of us - once I got busy with my summer plans - with house shopping - and planning for retirement she slipped from my mind. 

I received an email yesterday from a colleague of mine -  "mommy"  died last Sunday. 

 

A funny thing happened on the way to.......

 

Actually it was neither the "forum" or the "asylum" but a funny thing did happen on the way to the munch............ 

But we have to start at the beginning......... 

So going back to Tuesday.............. 

I had been busy getting bits and pieces done around here - like taking my car in for servicing - and then the netbook went tits up so I had to take it in......... I was just meandering through my days with nary a care because............... BECAUSE.......... W had said we wouldn't be going back to Kingston for more house hunting/shopping before NEXT week.

Then I am not entirely sure what happened - except my whole world got turned upside down.  Sometime Tuesday evening I read a cc'd email between W and the agents....... in it it said we would be arriving on Wednesday evening and would be ready to see houses on Thursday.  I shrugged it off figuring (see me not use the word "assume"??) that W was referring to Wednesday NEXT week.

However I was alert enough to fire off a quickie to him asking for clarification on which WEDNESDAY he was referring to.............. right -  you guessed it (and shame on you if you didn't get it right !!)  He meant THIS Wednesday .

While I was spluttering at this end - running a multitude of "must do" lists through my head - W added that there was a munch on the Wednesday night - we would do that as well.  Which meant I had better go RSVP for it - before I pulled together a hasty list of properties to see on the Thursday and send it off to both W and the agents.

By the time my head hit the pillow on Tuesday evening - I had RSVP'd (without paying any attention) for the munch - had pulled together 8 more houses to see on Thursday... packed a bag and fired off an email to my girls telling them I would be away in Kingston again.

We left here around 2ish on Wednesday and drove the 3 hours up to Kingston - checked into the hotel and then after a very brief rest we headed downtown to attend this munch / slosh - whatever the hell you want to call it.

As W and I were winding our way through tourists trying to find our way to the Irish pub - I asked innocently enough if he knew the name the reservation was in............ no he didn't.  Well we finally found the Irish pub (name in Gaelic and impossible to pronounce or spell) and wove our way through the terrasse tables - into the inside and wandered a bit aimlessly through the inside trying to spot a familiar face (yeah right !!)  

Finally a waitperson asked us if we needed help.  W announced we were meeting up with a group - didn't know - couldn't remember - the reservation name.  The waitperson looked at us as though we were speaking a foreign language - there were NO reservations for that evening, but she suggested we wander up stairs and see if our friends were there ............. 

We didn't see one kinky perverted person in the lot - until - as we were heading back to the door I recognised a woman from one of the munches we have been to....... (I think it was the lunch one we went to last week) and I marched up and said "Hi" ........ she seemed surprised pleased to see us and after the usual mundane hellos - etc......... I asked when the munch was.  "Slosh" she corrected (they appear to be a bit anal about terminology in Kingston) and said it was Thursday evening NOT Wednesday evening.  WTF??!!

I looked at W - but one should always remember Rule #1 in BDSM - the Dom is always right.  Of course it had been my fault that I had not double checked a) the reservation name and b) the date of this so-called slosh.  

We left the Irish pub and worked our back to an English Pub where we grabbed some food (not that good either) and then headed back to our hotel.  (The fun and games that happened in the hotel room will be disclosed in tomorrow's blog) 

We did however ........... finally....... make it to the slosh on Thursday evening............... met a whole bunch of new folks and a couple of familiar faces.  Had another less then stellar meal - and are fast learning the politics of this new BDSM community - feelings appear to get hurt just as easily - noses out of joint  just as easily - in Kingston, as in Montreal.  oh joy!!

It wasn't quite the comedic relief of a "Funny thing happened on the way to the Forum" but it was a bit humorous in a kinky sort of way.............