I know most of the time when I do a "BDSM Basics" blog entry - I am mostly preaching to the choir.
BUT there were two things that hit me squarely between the eyes over the weekend that I just think need to be said...........
We have SSC ....... Safe Sane Consensual
We have RACK .. Risk Aware Consensual KinK
the one word that appears in both ........ in case you haven't picked it out yet ...... is
C O N S E N S U A L
Now do I really need to define consensual??? Really??? Consensual comes from consent - which means "agreement or giving permission" Got it?? It is a very simple concept........ honest it is !!
There was (apparently - so I am told) an incident in our Nation's Capital of "non-consensual" play last week. Some newbie was plied with a little too much liquor
and then was "sexually assaulted" at a club - that should have at the very least the SSC rule in place. From what I hear/understand - nothing that happened was consensual - starting with getting this newbie drunk.
Then on Sunday W and I went to a munch. Do I really need to define a munch?? A social gathering of like minded people in a VANILLA location...... this location was a family restaurant. In this case one sort of newbie brought a keychain flogger - a pretty harmless little thing - that yes was attached to her keys. I didn't catch the beginning of this incident - but I did catch the end - because the sorta newbie was groaning and panting as though she was having an orgasm......... which made me look towards that end of the table to see a Dom striking her thigh over and over with this flogger...... leaving visible marks on her thighs.
These are two different cases of blatant non-consensual behaviour. The first is obvious - the newbie was in no state/condition to grant her consent for what happened to her.
The second case - the people standing beside the table - by the cash - including the waitresses - did NOT consent to watching/ be exposed to a "little flogging".
I expressed my displeasure - for lack of a better word - with this flogging incident and it stopped. I probably wasn't much liked for it. I was probably thought to be "spoil sport" I don't much care. All those rules / protocols that I love and talk about constantly - are there for a reason - to protect us - and the unsuspecting vanillas.
Please - let's keep the CONSENSUAL in SSC and RACK AND in BDSM in general !!