The Good - the Bad - the Ugly

 

Yesterday was one of THOSE days........... follow my bouncing ball.........

Remember the pay equity thing I applied for?? I heard first thing yesterday morning that I qualified!!  It isn't gonna make me a millionaire by any stretch of the imagination... BUT it is going to allow us to do a couple of improvements on the trailer in the country and that makes me VERY happy!!!

Then - between you and me - I have been stressing over getting gas accounts and electric accounts set up for the new house.  GAH!!  All public offices are closed due to the pandemic.  I got on the ball yesterday and managed with very few glitches to get the electricity and gas set up for the new house!!  YAY!  check those two off my 'to do' list.

ok so I'm on a roll right?

Well I went down to the basement to the freezer to discover that we were under 3 inches of water again....... STILL!!  so I called the new owner's agent... only to get the same run around ..... le sigh.  I was pissed!  I'm so over this rude agent who won't cut us any slack BUT cuts herself all sorts of slack!!  SO I called the Property Standards board again!  had to leave a message cause offices closed due to pandemic!  BUT shock !  shock!  I got a call just after lunch from an inspector who asked if he could come by and evaluate the water situation.  YES! YES! YES!   Two inspectors came!  TWO!  they disappeared down into 'our swimming pool' .  They reappeared a short time later to announce "you have a bigger problem than a flooded basement".  I had been saying that the water is coming up through a 'trough' that runs down the middle of the basement...... and that's new. AND Sir Steve has always maintained that it isn't a water problem but a foundation problem.  They told me that the front half of the house is sinking!  (that would be from that trough which I think now - is a BIG crack in the floor of the basement / foundation)  They are going to file a report with the city.... the city will file a report with the new owner - basically telling him what needs to be fixed!  so me thinks a sump pump is not going to be the major repair to be done... and according to what we know - once the owner is notified he will have 30 days to file for work permits and get the work started!  We probably won't be here (mind you according to the inspectors it's a good thing we're moving!) BUT I'll know I have been vindicated for all the rudeness and ignorance I have had to deal with!!!

Then I had a friend contact me on FB... sending me a screen shot of what the lil one's grandmother was announcing to the world....... about us!  Apparently it is all our fault that she couldn't go to a memorial mass for her mother!!  ALL our fault - cause they do NOT have covid but "people think they are the health unit and have labelled them as having covid when all they had was a sinus infection" OK I blew.......... I admit it I absolutely blew!!!  sent the mother a scathing message reminding her we never once said anything about them having covid!  never once said they shouldn't go out that they had to isolate !  that the only person we EVER talked about was the lil one!!!  As soon as I sent it I realized it was useless - they never hear the truth.... never take responsibility... WHATEVER!!  I'm just so over them ya know???   

Anyway........ that was my yesterday .......... here's to a quieter more stable day today.  

 
 

This 'n That

Got little bits of this 'n that - thought I would put it all together in one post and bring everyone up to date ...... 

abby of 'finallly finding me' left a comment on "Mind Games" ...... 

 I can sympathize with you..only instead of mind games..we call them my voices
 
 I used to refer to 'the voices in my head' all the time..... but honestly Sir Steve has quietened all those voices -- helped me be content in my own skin -- so I can't call them voices anymore -- just one voice ....... my insecure voice that still occasionally wonders if I am good enough.........

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On Friday when I put the lil one on the bus -- I asked her to find the 'reset' button and push it so that when she came back to us on Monday I would have MY lil one back!  and we could have a 'happy kingdom' again (she labelled our house that about 2 summers ago).

I will admit I was holding my breath when the bus pulled up Monday afternoon.... her little face was pushed against the window watching for me.... when she saw me she grinned a big huge grin!!  She flew off the bus and hugged me around the middle so tight!!!  She held my hand on the walk home as she was telling me about her weekend -- and she added "S I found the reset button and I pushed it really hard!"  We've had a wonderful week -- lots of laughter and hugs and 'I love you's' again..... 

So things are good again ----- until the next time

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I cut back my drugs again on Sunday night.  I am now counting down the months till I am clear of them...... 2 more months!!  The doctor warned me in September it could take up to a year to fully get me off the drugs...... I don't think there are too many of us who have been on this drug for 20 years.

I keep thinking the withdrawals are improving -- but they're not.  This month besides some nausea and a low grade 24/7 headache -- the muscle cramps have been a killer.  Tuesday night I hardly slept for the pain.  I couldn't find any spot in the bed that didn't press against the aches.  Yesterday I spent the day in a fetal position on the sofa barely able to move.  Sir Steve came home from work and hugged me and it felt as though my ribs were broken.... yeah it hurts that much!!  I won't even get into the emotional roller coaster I am on.........

Back in September I thought I would lose a whole mess of weight cause the nausea was pretty awful and I could barely eat.  Yeah well that passed ...... and now I am hungry all the time... not for meals but for munchies....... and more munchies and more munchies.   I have to admit I gave in....... and munched my way through December January February and March -- 10 pounds worth of munching ....... colour me sad and disappointed.  Truthfully I am not even promising myself once this withdrawal process is over that I will lose those 10 pounds or more .... I just can't face that now.

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And on a final note -- a very positive note........ 

We've had a really lucky week......... Sir Steve and the lil one won the draw at her dance school for $100.  Her last month of dance class is paid for AND there was enough money left over to buy her a purple hoodie with her name on the sleeve and the dance school logo.   

AND yesterday I won a dinner for two - a 3 course meal at our absolute favourite restaurant here in town!!  

Those two on top of Sir Steve's raise last week and we're pretty excited about our good luck!!

There's no school tomorrow so the lil one heads off to Mom's tonite and I have one extra free day to limp towards the weekend.........

Life is good when you have a mix of good and not so good....... 

Hard to Explain

I have been cooking racks and racks of ribs today and cleaning the house at the same time........ which means my mind is free to roam here and there -- think this and that ..... try and sort out my feelings.....make plans......



Every single day my mind is doing menu planning ...... either for here at the house -- or up at the campgrounds  (two very different sorts of meals) ..... and the reason why I am mass cooking racks of ribs and going to freeze them -- is so we can have them over the summer months.  I HATE menu planning.  You'd think after 40+ years of doing it it would be a snap.... that I would have menus at my finger tips..... but I don't.  It doesn't help that the last 3 years or so I only cooked for myself -- when I did cook / eat.  
Besides main menus I seem to always be baking -- cookies .. squares... breads.. muffins.. so there are sweets in the house.  It's healthier and cheaper than buying them.

Ideas for fun activities for the summer weeks we have the lil one are starting to percolate in the back of my mind too.......... things to help pass the days --- and what I need to buy to make my life easier during the long hours 'daddy' is at work.

I was thinking how for some reason IF I don't work at least 8 hours a day -- if I don't have a list of 'stuff' I did - I have somehow been lazy -- somehow failed ...... (grinning) it doesn't help that the lil one always asks when she gets off the bus at the end of her day -- 'so what did you do today ??' and when I tell her she either nods sagely or says "is that all?!"  (Some days I would like to snap at her -- 'how much have you seen your mother do -- EVER' but I don't ...... she's used to how I work )

On Sunday evening Sir Steve told me to tape our Sunday night shows as we were going to bed early.  Then he took a shower.  Inside I knew that if he took a shower he wanted a blow job..... But when it was time for bed I got 'silly' .... I was unsure about giving the blow job.  Back when we went through the stress induced dry spell -- blow jobs were hard on both of us.  As much as he enjoyed them they didn't produce the desired effect (if you follow my diplomatic explanation).  During that dry spell -- I started to want less -- to touch less - to not initiate -- not that I was ever a big initiator -    

Sooooooooo needless to say I was awkward and must have seemed very uncomfortable (at best) or unwilling (at worst) ........ when truthfully it was neither.  I have no reason to be stressing over sex anymore -- Sir Steve has more than proved the dry spell is over and he's back better than ever ........ While I was cleaning I had a light bulb moment...... my cautiousness ... my sensitivity to the 'issue' is no longer needed -- I can touch and caress and tease to my heart's content again......... in other words - put the past behind me and have some fun!

Ohhhhhhh and then I was thinking about the spankings ... do I really miss them?  or is that old days I miss???? the wild parties -- the energy that flowed...... and can we ever get those days back again??? I am not sure -- but they say 'you can't ever go home again'........ so I have my doubts.  so the next question I asked myself is -- do I NEED the spankings??? and nah I don't think so -- punishments or funishments or whatever you want to call them don't work in our relationship...... I am not the brat that everyone thought/thinks I am......... 

I think I have a relationship that combines BDSM in the best possible way.  We are equals -- sharing ...... and yet Sir Steve is in charge.  He will make sure that the best decisions are made for all of us.  I serve him - not on my knees naked like in the fictional books -- but standing tall proudly....... cooking and cleaning and yeah ....... doing the dreaded menu planning.

A Bit of This 'n That

Well I was at the clinic before 8am and the line up was out the door.  However they have a neat way of handling walk in's here .... They took my name and information and told me I could go home and come back around 9:00ish.  I saw the doctor just after 9:30 and came home with antibiotics and an inhaler.  With any luck I should be feeling more like myself in a few days.

Over the last few blogs there have been some questions thrown out there in the comment section ..... I thought I would answer them today....

On 'Coming Together' Hermoine said she thought I would have given up my apartment and moved in with Sir Steve.  I doubt that will ever happen officially.  If I keep a separate address then the government won't ever see us as married and won't screw around with our income and taxes.  AND yes it is a bit of a bolthole -- somewhere I can escape to if I need a quiet space/ safe space.

On the same entry Selkie (grinning and waving) asked if Miss Ashes was living here with us.  Oh yes!!  She moved in in June for supposedly a few days -- but she made herself totally at home here .... bosses the dog around and has fallen in love with Sir Steve and his nightly snuggles.  AND despite my best efforts to keep her out of the lil one's room she is having a love affair with the pink unicorn rug in her room..........

And on 'Clean Slate'  kethry paid me a compliment by telling me to use my decorating skills on this place and make it ours... she made me smile ... AND now that it's all coming together it does have my touch for sure..... I do consult with Sir Steve before doing anything -- but still I am showing through.  

Now my energy has run out and I am gonna curl up and heal......  

This 'n That

Quiet sort of weekend --   time for lots of thinking........ 

I spent most of the weekend scrubbing my lil home -- cause cleaning is cathartic for me.  

It's easy to keep the house clean and tidy now........ after all it's just me and Miss Ashes... very few finger prints on the walls -- or mirrors -- no spills or clothes strewn around the place.........  some days I miss the mess of kids - miss the noise and confusion and phone ringing off the hook. As much as I love living on my own -- some days I miss having people around.

And as I chased hair balls around the house -- and tried to get the cat hair off the comforter on my bed -- I reminded myself that one day I won't have this headache and that will be a lonely sad day.......... so I cleaned cheerfully -- until Miss Ashes jumped on the bed and rolled around on it purring -- good thing cats have 9 lives!!

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 I had a wonderful chat with Hands on Saturday morning - lots of teasing and sharing....... I can be just about ready to implode from lack of touch and play and then Hands chats with me and my slow burn settles down.  

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Since I broke my toe I haven't been able to go to the gym so I have been walking every day....... usually way too early because of the heat and humidity that comes with the summer.  Hands is quite insistent that I not overdo it -- and I am not -- mainly because the foot hurts that much. 

On Sunday while I was hobbling along I could feel the frustration rising (did I mention I am close to imploding ??!!  doesn't take much to frustrate me) 

Anyway..............
I had planned on going to the gym on Monday come hell or high water -- but I realized I still can't get a proper shoe on the foot and until I can, the gym is out of the question.  My blood started to boil.......... How could the damn thing still be so sore and swollen after all these weeks???!!  I grumbled as I hobbled.  

When I got home I googled broken toes -- cause ya know google knows everything!!  And I read that -- depending on how badly broken it is -- it can take from 6 - 8 weeks.  I was fuming -- and yeah I'll admit it - a bit worried.  After all - in my head it has been at least 4 weeks.  So I went to look at the calendar.  It has only been 2 1/2 weeks........... I still have a way to go (hear me grumbling even more?!)

Oh and one other fun fact about my broken toe -- I was examining it and was pleased I can now touch it and manipulate it without shrieking in pain -- but the top bit of my toe wiggles and makes a funny clicking sound........... fun eh?? 

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Sunday morning I heard from Hands -- just a brief -- "sick as a dog" kind of message.  BUT despite feeling like "crap on a cracker" (his words not mine) He did check in with me late in the afternoon.  

There's not much I can do for him but I did send him a couple of "nurses" to help cheer him up.

 


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I am guessing most of you have heard of Pokemon Go -- when I was out late Sunday afternoon (trying to burn off some of the pent up frustration) I came across 4 different groups of Pokemon Go players.    One player in a group of teenagers was so busy watching his phone and running and shrieking he nearly ran me down............. yeah that helped my frustration levels!

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And that dear friends was my weekend............. 

Bouncing Ball and Q&A

This is one of my bouncing ball posts - just little bits of stuff rambling around ........

**Had my monthly "mental health" check yesterday - some appointments are better than others... yesterday I got a lesson in graphs (grinning) and a lecture on eating (yes Angel even she gave me a lecture and threatened to report me to the doc - sighing) She always seems to tell me the same thing - 1) everything takes time - reprogramming a brain can take longer 2) believe in myself / be gentle with myself  / EAT

** went to the gym after cause I am NOT gonna let the "monsters" beat me.. and the assistant manager was there "Chris" and I asked him for some help moving a seat on one of the machines which he did - but then he took my routine paper out of my hand and studied it - then kinda stomped his foot and then added 3 more machines PLUS free weights to my routine - BUT told me I was to do one set of machines one week and the other set PLUS the free weights the next week. Then he followed me around and corrected my body posture on the machines and kinda bossed me around - then told me he was ex-Army and that explained everything - he's such a drill Sargent (grinning)

** I came home and cleaned the house and did laundry and finally felt more settled than I have for a while now :)  which is a VERY good thing

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Now ready for today's Q&A ???

Hil first cause I made her wait (grinning) 

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Hil said:
I love your clit piercing, i would really like something similar (I only have my nipples done at the moment), so my question is - would you have more piercings or another tattoo and if so what and where?
When I was at the piercing studio Hil waiting for my turn - I was going through his catalogue of pictures of piercings and god I was SO tempted to have my labia done.. but the healing time is 6 weeks and I am not going to give up 6 weeks of fun ........I am greedy that way :)

I have been thinking of another tattoo cause that i can put somewhere that won't delay play time .......... probably on my wrist .......... but haven't decided what I would get .. 

keth said...

Not an answer question question, but a begging question - if you do go down to visit kaya, please please pretty please with bells on, post the pics of your visit? Not just the pervy ones (if there are any), but the touristy and friendship ones as well. Please?

grinning  you don't need to beg keth - I most definitely will be bringing my camera with me no way I would leave it at home........ I'll post as many pictures as I can - I promise :)

ronnie said...Here's some questions -
What's your favourite time of the year?
What's your favourite book and movie?
Are you a breakfast eater, and if so, what's your favourite breakfast
Summer hands down is my favourite time of the year - I love the heat !!!  and the sun .. and swimming in some special friends' pool..... and all the activities that go on around here during the summer months :) AND I take so many more pictures during the summer  AND I intend to wear more dresses this summer and flash some leg ... yeah definitely summer !!

Favourite book and Movie are the same - Memoirs of a Geisha  

phewww you had to bring up food eh ronnie?? :) breakfast is usually a glass of juice and a cup of coffee........I used to really love pancakes and sausages.......or a bagel with cheese (but Quebec bagels and I can't get them here)  but both of those are kinda off my eating plan now :)  

Remember everyone leave your questions in the comment box - and yes you can use anonymous :)  I am enjoying the Q&A this year :)   Thanks to everyone who has left me questions :)

Bouncing Ball

Haven't done a bouncing ball post in a long time.... but I just have a little bit of this and a little bit of that to share this morning.......... nothing terribly substantial............ 

Sooooooooooooo

following the bouncing ball.............. 


the other day I wrote a bit on work - and how stupid I felt cause I couldn't get the pretty little clicks to work - after my "pity party" I decided to work at it again - till I either got it - or died trying.  Needless to say I got it!!  I was delighted - I'm not dumb .. dumber.. dumbest... I got it!!!  so now I am whizzing (well whizzing for me) through my new project making pretty lil clickable slides that one day will be an elearning for some company................. but most importantly proving you CAN teach an old dog new tricks - cheeky grin

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I live in the world's quietest apartment !!  It helps that most of the residents are over 50... but the other morning I heard this horrendous noise (around 5am) I jumped awake.  It sounded like my walls were imploding... it didn't last long but scared me enough I was up and checking (which meant any hope I had of going back to sleep was gone) I only heard it that once, couldn't find the source and then the quiet descended.
Yesterday morning it happened again.  MY GOD!  I hate being awakened out of sound sleep with images of my apartment blowing up in my head.  But that's exactly what it sounds like.  The only thing I can figure -- cause yesterday I did get to listen a little longer and with more rationale thinking than before -- and I am wondering if someone close to me is having a shower and their pipes are shaking rattling and rolling.  Now if that is it -- wouldn't they hear the sound from their side ??? Wouldn't it make them jump too??? Wouldn't you think they would contact the building manager?? It's not normal to have pipes rattling and banging is it??

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OH and I know what else happened that I haven't shared.  I wanted an area rug for my living room -- but the in store area rugs are all smallish (5x8) and I really wanted a 10x7 rug with a splash of colour seeing as most of my furniture is brown or shades of beige... one of our hardware stores had a rug on line that looked like it would definitely fit the bill.  It was 10 x 7 and was brown / beige /rusty red with geometric shapes and squiggles.  So I ordered it -- back in August -- basically sight unseen.  I HATE not seeing something up close and personal - touching it -- walking on it (in this case cause it was a rug)  I was told it wouldn't be shipped till Sept 15th!!!  I had to wait a whole month!!!  AND then they billed my credit card immediately ........ I was worried.  On the 15th I checked the tracking -- nothing ............ on the 18th I checked the tracking -- it was on the truck -- YAY!! and a couple of hours later the doorbell rang!  My rug had arrived.  Eldest daughter was still here - thank god and helped me open it and get it laid out - who knew 10x7 was SO big!!??  or that the furniture was so heavy....... anyway the rug was laid (and other than the smell which was AWFUL!)  It looked great in the space.. and did exactly what I wanted it to -- add a pop of colour to the room...............

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Tonight I am heading off to an "educational event" (BDSM education of course) I am not too sure how it happened but I was appointed a group leader to this FetLife/real time group.  Tonight's theme is "Tricks, Toys and Pervertables" (at least I think that's the title)  I have pulled some inexpensive pervertables out -- but couldn't resist bringing my knives and tack paddle -- le sigh -- may scare some newbies but hey that can be fun too........ ummm maybe I should bring my tack bra (thanks to kaya of under his hand who started this trend and then taught me how to make one )  

And tomorrow night I have a munch to head out to........ back on Saturday and then Sunday off to Montreal for the middle grandson's birthday party.

I am gonna need a nap on Monday  .............. 

And I do believe the bouncing ball has stopped bouncing ...............

 

A little bouncing ball.......

We had snow yesterday - March 1st - and some more this morning.. and we're supposed to get a lot more tomorrow.......... 

So my question is this....... Does that mean March came in like a lion??

Except it doesn't really matter to me.  For some stupid reason - once we hit March I always know the worst is over.  Worst for me is weeks and weeks of winter.... by March I can see spring - it's just over there.. hiding behind that snow bank - or behind that last winter storm.  I jokingly told Sir this morning that whatever snow comes now I am NOT shoveling - it is gonna melt.  (and yeah I know the snow that fell in January is gonna melt too - BUT this snow is definitely gonna melt a whole lot sooner - makes sense to me )

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I think yesterday's Sunday Sentiments might need just a little clarification.  I still have knots in my stomach about the big ruckus that happened on Fetlife - and in real life - over my voicing my opinion.  The couple that went after me with both barrels blazing are still around - still in my peripheral vision.  Yesterday's saying was an effort to try and make me relax.  Try and help me shake off the scary feelings.  I HATE confrontation........ it always turns me into a basket case.  AND there is a wisp of a chance that they will show up to the munch this coming Friday........ and truthfully I don't want to see them.  BUT on the other hand I will not allow them to drive me away...... they win if I do that ........... I have no reason to hide.... I did nothing wrong.  They are the ones who threatened me - who publicly called me names - so why in god's name am I so tied up in knots???? 

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I got my ass whooped this weekend - not a fun playful whooping  - a punishment.  I cried.  and cried some more.  I get so confused some times.... most of the time Sir and I just muddle along like a vanilla couple (by my definition) but I am still doing the serving part of our agreement ........ there's just no playful times....... no fucking.... no obvious blatant BDSM.  So I admit it - I get cheeky and poke the dom - a lot more than I should... the brat in me comes out to play... even though I know I shouldn't let her out to play.  And then - without warning - when Sir has had enough - I get punished.... and it hurts .. it hurts my ass and my heart - cause I don't mean to be bad enough to warrant a punishment spanking - I really don't.  

I have mostly figured out our relationship - which is loving and caring and wonderful - I just need to work a little bit more on the bratty part I guess............ 

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 I have some thoughts percolating from stuff on Fetlife - but I think it needs to percolate a little bit more before I can make sense of it............. 

And so till then.............. the bouncing ball will stop bouncing.
 

Cheeky

Ok I had this blog post - just a small one - in my head this morning.  Then - as is the norm with my brain - it took the one lil idea and started bouncing all over the place with it.....


 As I haven't posted a bouncing ball post in like FOREVER - I thought I would post my bouncing thoughts and see if you can follow along,..........

W was making his breakfast and I wondered into the kitchen - not even sure what we talked about - but the lil cheeky subbie came out........ I was all but wiggling my ass at him (trying to provoke him??? nah I don't think so - just doing what has always come naturally to me.  And what makes me a one of kind - delightfully challenging - cheeky sub)

But it was breakfast time and god forbid anything stands between W and his breakfast - including a cheeky ass sub...............

So then I came back to the computer and thought I would share the almost normal interaction - and started looking up pics under the theme "cheeky"......... which didn't really get me what I was looking for .......... so I switched the search to "bare ass" and oh yeah that got me a whack of bare bottoms!!

I don't think my ass ever looked that good!!  not even 30 years ago!! BUT yummy I do love that shape - would love to sink my teeth in................ 

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy ................. before I get any more distracted...............

That got me to thinking how I personally much prefer a nice rounded female ass to a male ass.  (which shouldn't surprise those of you who know my back history) 

Then that sent my brain looping back to last night's Entertainment Tonight Show (one of W's can't miss shows) and how they showed some pic of Kim Kardashian's bikini clad ass with a suitably placed yellow banner to hide the  crack.  Good lord!!!  And then they went on and on about how it isn't appropriate to show that much!!!  and I sat there grinding my teeth thinking - 'as long as TV shows and magazines are gonna take those sorts of pictures and publish them then the Kim Kardashians and Miley Cyrus's  of the world are gonna dress (or undress) to shock.'  Ignore them - don't take the shot - don't buy the shot - don't publish the shot and then you don't have to be shocked - you don't have to be offended  and you don't have to censor what you think I don't want to see.

I can find the naked ass shots quite well on my own (cheeky grin) and I don't personallly care who the ass belongs to - I can close my eyes and imagine sinking my teeth into that nice round ass cheek!

Lazy Hazy Summer

Being me - I love routines - even in the summer.  Over the years my summer routine has evolved into - having breakfast outside under my lil red umbrella with a good book (or not so good book).  When the sun gets too high and too hot I come inside and do some housework.  I usually go back outside around 2ish to read until dinner time.  Some days if I am feeling particularly lazy I will have a little afternoon cat nap curled up outside in my secret garden.

This summer has been a little crazy so far.......between trips to Kingston (which have left me emotionally and physically drained) and chores that got shelved until school finished and the tremendously high heat and humidity - I honestly haven't fallen into my summer schedule.  


Yesterday however I did find myself outside early morning sipping coffee and just enjoying the stillness around me....... I prayed none of my neighbours would be up at that hour - as I had 'snuck' outside in my pj's with my coffee.  Then I got to work cleaning this place....... it was in such sad need of a good cleaning - I am embarrassed to say I actually had "dust webs" !!!  By the time I was done - it was just too hot and humid to move outside.  The air conditioned house was the only place to be.............. 


The problem (in my opinion) with central air  is that the windows are never opened.... I seem to live in this artificial environment of soft whirring sounds and filtered air.  I never hear a bird chirp and or a kid laugh.  Late yesterday afternoon I realized I was going nuts from the quiet....... So once the sun was gone - I opened all the windows - turned the A/C off and just relaxed listening to the quiet evening music of the outdoors.


I read some more 50 Shades - and though I find the writing less than stellar - the 'juicy bits' remind me of when I was in my late teens early 20's and had discovered the "adult section" in the book shop.  I used to love to read the stories from Victorian England and stern "uncles" who chastised and spanked their wayward nieces.  Ana left a comment yesterday on my post about 50 Shades that pretty much nailed it.............. 

she said

I'm sure you'll enjoy them - sitting there making up your own stories in your head while they play along on the pages.

And that's what I have always done - read the lines and created - embellished the plot - with my own fantasies..........  I promise to keep you updated on the story line as time goes on........... 


Tomorrow W and I are going back up to Kingston.  It's just a one day trip though - so we are taking the train ......... the train is only - supposedly - 2 hours - so hopefully the trip will be less trying on both of us.........and who knows - maybe by Friday I will have something concrete to talk about re our house search.

One job I do have on my "to do" list for this summer is to start emptying  out cupboards and bookshelves and all the nooks and crannies and sorting out what to keep and what to donate to charity - combining two homes into one means a whole lot of "stuff" has to be gone before I move............. I am seriously considering putting the lil condo on the market come the fall......... 


And that's about it for Wednesday ......... a little of this and a little of that

This 'n that

The picture today seemed appropriate - bits and pieces put together to give you one whole blog entry ......... or a semblance of one - you be the judge ...................

I decided - that if I was gonna get through the next year or so (or more) of work before retiring - I HAD to find a way of doing it so that I don't stretch myself toooo thin.......... Yesterday was day 1 of my new plan.  I went in to my office (after saying good morning to everyone and visiting a little bit ) closed the door - put Bryan Adams in my CD player - and got to work.  It really is amazing how much work one can get done with the door closed............. My new buzz phrase when someone asks me a stupid question (and I do get asked stupid questions frequently EVERY day) "What do YOU think you should do?" and then leave them to work out the answer.  In the past I tended to take over - cause it was quicker and easier........ Oh I will pitch in if they really don't know - OR if the problem is more my realm then theirs - but stupid questions??? nah let them figure it out....

By 3:30 everyone wanted to know if I was OK??? yeah I was fine - just doing my job.  (In my words to W - working to rule - following my job description - and letting everyone else stand on their own two feet)  It was an ok day - took some adjusting for me - for sure,  Of everyone I work with - this was probably hardest on me !!  I worked my 7 hours - closed up my office - and came home......... without any projects to complete when I got here !!

On the bright side - or brighter side - April 1st is our yearly salary increase to adjust for the cost of living ...... I got 27 cents more an hour............which works out to be approximately $9.45 more a week - then take taxes off that - and I might just see $20 more a month............ BUT as I said to W ( quoting my father) "it's better than a kick in the ass with a wet boot".

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On an entirely different note - W brought me a Hyacinthia plant on the weekend - the buds were all closed up tightly and it looked for all the world like a weird shaped pineapple ......... but last night when I got home the buds were starting to open.. Tomorrow maybe I will post some pictures.  I do love flowers - would fill my house with them given the chance (and the money) and spring flowers have to be one of my favourites for adding a little joy.

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I read this morning that our favourite play party is reopening for the season soon.  It's an outdoor play area so needless to say it closes down for the winter months.  They have posted public etiquette - Bandit said he wouldn't call them rules - and I agree with him.. what he listed are really just basic etiquette for play parties.  Now here's hoping he will enforce the rules - then W and I might just have found a place to play where we won't be interrupted ........ where we can play hard and fast and not have someone fall over in a dead faint........ where folks won't come charging into our scene and ask to borrow cameras - or want to talk to me.......... YAY for Bandit for having the guts to publicly post his expectations !!!

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And that's about it for my 'this 'n that' ........... bits and pieces thrown together to create some semblance of a blog entry........... 
 

This that and the other thing.......

Honestly I don't think I have ever been so glad to see a Friday.  It has been a long busy tiring week.............. 

Remember the course I was taking on Wednesday??? It was FANTASTIC!!  but long....... oh my god it was long.  We started at 8:30 sharp (after everyone fought their way there through yet another bout of freezing rain) ........ and worked right straight through till 3:00.  No breaks.  Lunch was eaten while we worked...... but wow...... I loved it !!  I am so energized and ready to bring the new games to my kiddies.  Learning games...... not academic learning...... but life learning.  So many kiddies (in my opinion) have no idea what exclusion looks like or feels like... or bullying.... or any of the other traits we see and want to banish.  These games we learned create an environment where the kids can honestly and truly put feelings to the circumstances that happen naturally.  I honestly can't wait to start the program.......... I think (have my fingers crossed) that once the kiddies feel / see / really experience these negative behaviours we are going to be on the road to fixing them !!  (yeah yeah call me a dreamer... tell me I am wearing rose coloured glasses - but honestly I will keep fighting this fight till they carry me out feet first)

Monday I have the first of 3 workshops at my school - for my staff.  Basic training sort of thing.......... most of these women have NO idea how to handle negative behaviours in children...... or their peers for that matter.  So my principal and I found a team of animators to come in and start teaching them some basic skills.  My job was to organise it... get all the materials needed ready and set to go.......... and to do the catering.  (it's why they pay me the big bucks - cough cough) So this morning I got the materials ready including projector and screen (which I finally found in the back of a dusty cob webby cupboard) .......... found pens and paper....... and then ran to Tim Hortons to order 40 cups of coffee - 24 muffins - and 40 donut holes to help keep everyone fueled and awake.  I pick the lot up at 8 am on Monday. 

On the home front.......... eldest daughter has taken a HUGE step.  After being laid off (gotta love this recession) a year ago...... and working in a sex shop (she did extremely well selling the BDSM gear ......... LOL....... I would venture a guess she more than doubled their sales of the "good" stuff) then working for various companies on contract............. this week she has taken the steps to set up her own consulting firm.  I have fingers toes and eyes crossed that she can make this work..........instead of "Freedom 55" I am hoping she establishes "Freedom 36" and can become her own boss.


Youngest daughter is going through a battery of allergy tests.  She had a scary incident at work a couple of weeks ago.  Someone gave her a mandarin orange and within less than 5 minutes they were calling 911........ turns out she is now highly allergic to oranges .......... probably all citrus ... but the allergy tests will tell the full story.  The first part of the test was this week.......... and she found out she is allergic to cockroaches.  Joy oh joy!! You'd think they would have tested foods first.......... seeing as cockroaches aren't exactly an every day occurrence in her life. 

Tomorrow is Saturday and the infamous play party.  I am still working through in my head what to wear.  I have been feeling very fat just recently and am worried none of my corsets will still fit.  (le sigh) Though to be honest all my clothes still fit so why the corsets wouldn't is really beyond explanation.  Of course W has a slew of brand new pretty coloured rope........... maybe a body harness might work as my fetwear for Saturday???? ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh... but then I would definitely need to bring some clothing of some sort or another cause I will eventually "hit the wall" in a rope harness.......... and naked doesn't work for me........... not on any level...........

Now you are all up to date on this ......... that........ and the other thing.

Catching up........

Honestly truly I should be downstairs doing housework and yard work........ I have a lot of catching up to do after spending half the week painting and redecorating the bedroom............... 

BUT I have been trying and trying to do a blog........... 
Last week when I posted the video of L'Oubliette I received an email from a friend asking for a more detailed description of the equipment.  I have tried and tried to capture the pictures individually to use them in the explanation blog...... but I can't ........ and I personally don't see any point in trying to explain something without the picture.  I mean - other than the obvious - this is a cage......... it is difficult to explain equipment that is used for various forms of torture.  I mean there was a St. Andrew's cross in the video and a set of stocks and a frame for suspension and a spanking bench...... and I couldn't even find similar pictures of equipment through google to use - as bandit makes 99% of his own equipment so there are bits and pieces that are different....

Anyone got any suggestions???


And then - the bedroom is bugging me.  The wall that was 1/3 a different colour was driving me nuts.  So Wednesday when I got home from the specialist's I repainted the entire wall so it is now all one colour and almost impossible to tell it isn't the same colour as the rest of the room.  THEN I decided the bamboo I had put on the wall would look much better on the cupboard doors ........ so I transferred it.  And it did look much better on the cupboard doors .......... but now the wall looked blank so I went downstairs and took the Japanese lantern/light down and put it up in the bedroom against the bare wall.  Then I breathed a sigh of contentment cause the room was FINISHED!   As I was leaving the room I shut one cupboard tight ............. and.............. the damn door fell off the track.

Do you think I can get it back on track??!!!  No of course not !!!  WHY would anything with this project be simple????   But I keep telling myself the damn door just fell off ........ easily.......... so how difficult can it be to get it back??  DAMN difficult.  It is now resting against one of the walls waiting for W........ hopefully he will be able to get the damn thing back on track.  (for someone who rarely remembers to close the damn doors it surprises me that having the doors open is driving me CRAZY!!)

Yesterday was a crash and burn day........ I woke up at 8:40 (which for me is REALLY sleeping in) and laid down at 2 for a little rest - after only doing groceries - and slept till 4.......... 

Today isn't shaping up to be any better.......... that pile of housework and yard work is still waiting for me........... why can't there be fairies to do the damn chores ........ then I wouldn't feel so damn guilty about doing nothing............. 


On that note........... off I go to tackle something............ anything ......... and feel like I am a productive member of society............

 

More This 'n That

Ok..... because I am SO nice I thought I would update you all on my "yesterday's This 'n That" 

The optician finally called me at 10:30  and told me I could come in any time.. so off I went.. They replaced the nose piece and the pads and scolded me cause the nose piece was dirty........ excuse me ??!!!  I am now wearing make up - cause everyone says I look so much better when I wear make up.. now I am supposed to apply make up remover to my glasses..... sigh...... sometimes life can get so damn complicated.

Then I went to the hardware store to get something to stick down those damn recycled patio stones...... I actually found a knowledgeable sympathic young guy... who got me some stuff that works like caulking (thank god - I don't think I could face more of the glue stuff we used the last time) and said it was contractor grade "glue".  I want to believe him I really really do!!!!  Only next spring will tell how right he was.  Of course he added I couldn't use the stuff until it stops raining and everything dries up........ so maybe it will be next spring before I get to use it..... (see me sigh??)

Then because I felt like I was on a roll.. I went to the grocery store to pick up some coffee then the drugstore to pick up my fiber pills......... and discovered at the drugstore I no longer had my interact card.  Dear god in heaven!!!!  that is my life line.... I never carry cash.  So I flew back to the grocery store - they didn't have it.. searched the parking lot (in the rain of course) and didn't find it.. and had to make a trip to the bank to cancel it......... where I sat for 30 minutes waiting to see someone......... I HATE waiting.


Once that was taken care of I came home...... pooped...... had lunch .,., had a nap.. then came on line to surf and read blogs and just wake up (I HATE napping in the afternoon)
That's when I discovered that the nose piece on my glasses was now way too tight.. and my poor nose is bruising again.  Honestly !!!  I am about ready to buy a white cane and throw the damn glasses out.  In frustration I bent the nose piece myself and I think I may have fixed the problem myself........ I hope so....... cause a bruised nose is no fun.

DAMN


Now for some reason I can`t get that cute curly-cue line to separate the page....... 


Anyway........... 


Today W and I are supposed to be going out to the Island for the 4 year olds graduation from Prek - go figure - graduation from Prek!!  I have the pizza and the banana crumb cake ready to go... .as well as promised lawn chairs, empty flower pots and a small garden table.

So I am off to wash the hair and scowl at the crappy poofy hair cut.. put on make up and try and remember to wash the nose piece at the end of the day.

Life is full of ``this `n that``

This 'n That

I think truthfully I have more fun finding illustrations for my blog - than I do actually writing one.  It always amazes me how many pictures are out there on the web...... on every topic one can think of!!!   Amazing.


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I saw the most amazing outfit yesterday.  Honestly I didn't know if I was going to laugh or cry.  Tuesday's have become coffee days with drakor.  He has been showing off his new female garb each time we go over.  Yesterday there was nothing set in stone.  W had a lunch meeting and probably wouldn't make it.  I was going shopping to a big box store with eldest daughter - and big box stores tend to exhaust me - even on good days... the noise .... the bright lights.. the confusion.  BUT drakor tempted us with a description of his outfit for the day.  (Now I should tell you - he dresses in female garb even if we aren't coming to visit )  His description was - I will be wearing a bright pink bra with a grass skirt.  


Well when I got home from shopping I sat down to have lunch - and oh let me tell you that chair felt ohhhhhhhhh so good.  But then I thought to myself - get your ass out of the chair and go have coffee with drakor.  So I went.  Truthfully I had completely forgotten the wardrobe description or I swear !!  I would have brought my camera.  When he opened the door - he was indeed wearing a bright pink bra (maybe a training bra??  All I know is it fit perfectly !!!


The grass skirt ......... well what can be said about it... it was a yellowy green grass skirt.  And I have to say - drakor's body did the outfit justice.  I don't know too many women - never mind men - who could pull it off.


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I am really fed up with poor workmanship.  I bought new glasses about 18 months ago.  I have been back to the optician's office at least 4 times because the nose piece was too tight and digging into my nose........... and god it hurt.  At one point the bridge of my nose was actually bruised from the damn thing. 

Then about a week ago the cushion thing on the nose piece fell off.  Now granted I should have gone right back in...... so yes it is my fault...... but I have been wearing glasses that now has a metal piece biting into my nose.  ughhhhhhhhhh

Well I reached my breaking point...... I have a feeling because one side is broken and the other one isn't...... my glasses are off kilter and therefore make reading or writing..... hell SEEING........ very difficult.  And I am wondering if that is why I have been having headaches.  

I just called them and guess what ??!! they aren't open yet.  BUT I want to go in NOW.  It is 9:30, it's not like it is 5:00am when I hit that wall of "I can't take this anymore!!"........ sigh....... Hopefully they will get fixed today.... I have reached my limit.


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And talking about workmanship.......... a couple of summers ago I bought new patio tiles for my secret garden.  They were made from recycled rubber (mainly car tires apparently) and supposedly you just plunked them down and they were good to go - for like - forever.  


The next summer they had all curled up at the corners.  So W and I went and bought some sort of glue stuff and relaid them all - with glue.


Last summer the corners had started to lift and curl again.


This summer they are worse............ and I am going to have to figure out what to use to get them to lie down flat and last forever as advertised.  sighhhhhhhhhh


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Eldest daughter who got laid off from her career in March and whose loving (tongue in cheek adjective) husband walked out on her May 1st has found part time work.  She is working in a local sex shop.  Her first day was yesterday and I just got off the phone with her.  She loves it !!!  It is "amazing" It is "fun" It is "exciting" 


Lucky mom got a run down on the products they sell..... and she is already talking about which toys she wants to buy.......... and god what her hubbie is missing out on....... and god how she wishes she had a "guinea pig" Doesn't want a relationship....... just wants someone to try out all these toys and ideas on.  

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And have I told you all I HATE my new haircut??!!!  Why can't hairdressers just do what you ask them to??? I wanted a summer cut.  Basically one length - but layered in the back and slanted towards my face (hard to explain in words - I gave her a picture!)  And instead she sectioned/layered/whatever the hell you call it all my hair so now when I wash and dry I bloody look like my mother....... and it doesn't move.... it just sits there on top of my head looking poofy ......... and I HATE POOFY!!!

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We have had so much rain this spring that most of us here in the Great White North are seriously considering building an Ark.  Now I really shouldn't complain and have tried very hard not to.... there are so many that have been flooded out.. lost their homes to these rainy days and rising river levels ....... but honestly Mother Nature ....... we need some sun.... and more than just a couple of days of it... and then a week or so of more rain.........


And this it I think for my "this 'n that" ........ just wanted to bring you all up to date.