Inhibitions

Believe it or not I am riddled with inhibitions ...... sexually that is.  

I do have this vivid imagination where I am provocative .... where I pull Sir Steve into the bedroom - strip him naked - tease his body.. push him on to the bed (now that's a laugh cause I can't push him at all - bit like trying to move a mountain - but this is my imagination!) and climb on top of him and ... mmmm... shall we just say 'rock his world'.

The truth looks a whole lot more like this....... 
I wait till he tells me to go to the bedroom and strip.. I strip and climb under the covers pulling them up to my neck (cause god forbid he might see my naked skin!) and lie there pretty much as still as death ...... waiting for him to loosen the blankets and loosen me......... 

and the really weird part of all this -- I am always horny!!  always wanting to go to the bedroom and strip naked for him......... 

Most weeks during the week I take some time to play with my vibrator - sometimes once a week sometimes more....... like I said I am always horny....... and I learned a long time ago to take care of my needs myself......

There are definite draw backs to my 'play time'......... mainly that when Sir Steve does tell me to go to the bedroom I am not climbing the walls horny - ya know?  I could probably take it or leave it..... 

This week I have not had private 'play time'.  Today I want it....... need it... am craving it.... I wonder if because I haven't played this week maybe I will be more 'adventuresome' ... more aggressive....... it's kind of an experiment..........  

stay tuned for the results........... 

Weird - ain't it?

I am having a good day!!  I am going out shopping -- that's how good a day it is!!  and the weird thing is........ it's because my hair looks pretty damn good today!!  

Weird isn't it?? my hair is near on perfect today and my whole day looks bright and beautiful!


~~~~~~~~~~

Just a little side note here .... to clarify some comments/suggestions/assumptions from yesterday's post.

I am a retired teacher - taught for nearly 25 years.

I believe the school and home should work together 

I also believe in this day and age -- sometimes teachers need the family's permission to discipline -- helicopter parents being what they are

I also stand by our decision to withdraw dance classes if school work/behaviours slip... that was the condition we put on dancing this summer when she tried out for competitive dance.. AND she agreed to it ... if we waffle on it now I do believe she won't trust our word going forward........ right or wrong that was the consequence we set last summer 

We have a face to face with the teacher today -- there are some impressions I want clarified and if necessary corrected.


Life is good when it's a 'good hair day' 

 

Chatty Cathy

The lil one is a bright energetic little girl - who loves school.  And she has the most interesting outlook on the world...... everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE - is her friend.  Nothing wrong with that ...nothing at all.... unless of course it interferes with her learning ....... and affects her behaviours.

Ever since Kindergarten we have been told that the lil one talks too much in class.  This talking is interfering with her completing her work -- eating her lunch and with her staying focused on the task at hand.  We have been trying for 3 years to drill into her the need to listen and focus and to not talk so much.  

Last week we got a note from the teacher asking us to 'encourage the lil one to write more (during writing class) and to talk less.  We had a long chat with her -- again!! -- and told her if she didn't cut out this chatting then we were going to have to pull her out of dance class.  We reminded her of the rule - if school work starts to go down then no more dance........ that education comes first.  We thought we had found the right consequence ...... she LOVES her dance class.

Yesterday when she got home -- she explained why she hadn't finished her writing... she HAD to help the other kiddies at her table with their spelling!! - translation 'talking'  (le sigh)

BUT the thing that has irritated me the most -- when Sir Steve spoke with the teacher she went on about what a good writer the lil one was .. so we weren't to fuss ... WTF??!!  We know she writes/reads very well (beyond her grade level - she's been tested) that wasn't the point was it??!!  The point was to stop her talking - distracting the other children - disrupting the class and to get her work finished!

Then the lil one tells us the teacher has never told her to be quiet - to stop talking!!  IF that is true then I have to wonder what the hell is wrong with the teacher.   How are we supposed to stop the talking - we're not in the class the teacher is....... UGH!  When I was teaching I had chatty cathys for sure ... I would stay on top of them reminding them 'no talking' .. there would be weekly notes back and forth to the parents so they were up to date .......... and the child knew the parents were kept informed.  Obviously not the way it works now....... 

For now the lil one is not going to dance class tomorrow .....we also made sure she  understands SHE is in control of IF/WHEN she goes back to class....  
Sir Steve is gonna try and get an appointment to see the teacher tomorrow so we can sort this out face to face. 

I am not sure there is actually a 'fix' for our chatty cathy......... and that leaves me feeling just a bit impotent ........ and a whole lot frustrated.

Good News / Great News

Good News:

Anyone who reads here with any regularity knows we have an ongoing battle with the lil one's mother.  Ohhhh things have improved slightly -- like she finally gets the risk of diabetes we are fighting with the lil one... and she is now willing to 'talk' via FB with Sir Steve.... 

BUT... 

Mother is still playing games with the lil one... and it is stressful.  Because the games mother plays are games that are meant to make Daddy look bad...... put all the blame on Daddy.
BUT we're getting much better at heading off these attempts....... 
The most recent one -- a trip to Disney over March break.  She told the lil one during the summer -- big excitement!!!  Sir Steve was getting the passport for the trip (he was getting it so he could keep it -- and keep track of when she wants to take the lil one out of the country)
Before Christmas she told us the trip was postponed cause they couldn't afford it.  Last week the lil one asked if Daddy had got her passport.  WTF?!
We probed a little bit and the lil one talked as though the trip was still on?!!!  I realized if Mother could blame the cancellation of the trip on us for not getting the passport then bad dad good mom right?? 

So Sir Steve contacted Mom ... and basically called her bluff.  The lil one is now aware that this cancellation has nothing to do with us.  
Chalk up another blocked game.


GREAT NEWS!

I went for a mammogram 3 weeks ago.  Routine cancer screening.  Except my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was my age..... she was dead 18 months later.  I tried really hard to be positive but damn I was worried.  Every twinge in my breasts - every stretch mark - every little difference in the breast and I was hearing "CANCER" 

This weekend I was rationalizing IF they found cancer surely they would have contacted me by now!  didn't help.

Yesterday I got my results in the mail............ no cancer.

I am still doing the happy dance !!!

Life is good/great when you win some of the battles.

Plan C

Do ya remember Plan A??? If not you can find it HERE.........

Plan C was in effect for this Saturday -- BUT -- there was snow and freezing rain forecasted.  (sigh)  We were hoping to head off to the campground for their annual hot chocolate skating party.  

As it turned out eldest daughter and son in law had appointments to view some houses on Saturday morning -- so tentative plans were made...... they'd go to their viewing and meet us at the campgrounds...... then if the weather wasn't too bad we'd all head home here and go out for sushi supper to celebrate their birthdays.

By 1:30 we were at the camp grounds in the pouring rain - straight rain though not freezing...... and I couldn't help but wonder if this rain is a forecast of our summer to come (ok ok I am a bit of a pessimist)  They had a nice fire going and trust me it was a very welcome heat source!

By 4 we were all home safe and dry -- freezing rain did happen but it was mixed with straight rain which just made for a damp wet time.  

We had a lovely visit with daughter and husband..... discussing their search for a new home a whole lot closer to us.... which makes me a very happy Mom..... Then we headed off for the sushi supper....... 

The restaurant was in a strip mall -- nothing to write home about for sure... I HATE sushi but they did have tempura .... There were 5 tables with the most uncomfortable seating I have ever sat on!!  Obviously most of their business is take out....... 

Not knowing anything about sushi I just watched and listened while daughter / husband and Sir Steve made up their orders.... the only two items that stuck with me were 'California rolls' and ' sushi pizza' ........ sushi pizza??!!!

The food was only made when it was ordered ..... so plates of food came out in the weirdest order....... first some California rolls I think  .... then soup... then appetizers .. our table was groaning under the load of food.......... 

the lump on the left is the sushi pizza !!

more sushi......... 

tempura sweet potatoe

my plain and boring sweet and sour chicken (sauce on the side)

Did you notice in the pics that the food was served on disposable/take out trays??? Like I said -- most of their business is take out....... and in future that is what we'll do... mind you having everything already in disposal containers made doggy bags so much easier !!

OH and the sushi experts said it was some of the best sushi they have had!


We came home for birthday cake and coffee -- apple spice cake with caramel drizzle..... 

I can't take credit for the birthday cake -- as it happened I was given one free cake from a local baker ..... and decided to take advantage of it this weekend. 

Daughter and hubbie headed home around 8:30 in a lovely gentle snow fall.......... 

We had sort of planned on having some adult time on Sunday -- BUT as luck would have it -- I had a flair up of a health problem that saw me stretched out on the sofa eating crackers and sipping water all day (colour me sad).

Feeling much better today -- of course I am!!  Just in time to do the household chores and pick the lil one up from the school bus........... le sigh!

Life is good when Plan C works!

Sunday Sentiments

Pissy Mood

Friday is MY day -- my 'spa' day.  I shower and shave and wash the week's stress off .... I give myself a manicure and sometimes even add butterflies to my nails....

Friday is my 'save my sanity' day............. 

BUT not today........ my sanity is on a slippery slope downwards.

It started with the lil one telling me at the bus stop she hadn't packed 'the green bag' - clothes from Mother's house that she wore to school on Monday.  So now I had to add a trip to school to my quiet spa day.

Grrrrrrrr

Got home from the school run and went outside to our new and improved deck to have a smoke with my 2nd cup of coffee....... AND because the damn builder didn't put a covering on the deck we get water dripping down from above.  AND because the days are milder we get a lot of water dripping and then it all freezes at night....... so when I went out to have my 2nd cup of coffee my foot hit a patch of ice and I went flying and twisted my back.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

and now I have lost the desire for my spa day....... I just want to bite someone's head off ya know........ 

Life is good when............... ummmm... when............... 




you don't bite someone's head off?

 

 

Antsy

It has been growing....... the feeling that my nerves are on edge... small things are irritating me... I am ANTSY.

and it's January..... so basically it is my annual nervous breakdown.

At 2 this morning - lying in the darkness - I thought IF I could take my pill then I wouldn't feel so antsy -- I would be able to stop things from getting under my skin and making me grind my teeth..... and bite my tongue...... IF I could take a pill.

But I won't take that pill.  I have tools now (thanks to Bounce Back) to handle (to some degree) the feelings of irritation.  

Yesterday I washed all the floors in the house... I polished the wood floors... I scrubbed the kitchen floor - on my knees to make sure they were really clean!  that is my OCD kicking in... the need to have everything neat and tidy and clean.  Sir Steve came home from work to pick up the lil one and take her to swimming class... he walked across the kitchen floor with his boots on.  When they were gone there were dirty footprints across my clean kitchen floor.  The tears came -- and the anger came........ didn't anyone else want a clean house?? didn't HE appreciate a clean house?? didn't HE realize how much work it is to get the house this clean??  I paced and I stewed and I slammed cupboard doors as I started to make dinner. 

When they got home I took a deep breath and quietly talked to Sir Steve...... explained how upset I was -- he apologized and supper went on the table.

I talked to myself -- pointed out that this neat/clean fixation was my obsession ... not his.. not the lil one's... all mine.  and in the big picture how important was it really??!
I took deep breaths - I slowed my pulse/heart rate down - I reminded myself this would pass.

And at 2 this morning I wanted a pill ..... I craved a pill....... I needed to deaden the emotions........... BUT I won't take the pill...... slowly things will improve if I keep breathing.... 

Life is good when you resist the temptations and remember to breath.

 

 

A Difficult Day

Same Shit Different Day

Just a little history......

My involvement in the kink world may differ slightly compared to yours..... I was very involved in our local BDSM community.... publicly involved.... attending workshops and munches (meet and greets)... going to conventions....frequently playing publicly.

Over the years I was aware of newbies that got involved with some less than savoury characters........ one woman I remember (not young and stupid either) met up with a man at a motel -- was tied up and beaten - not good beating either - black and blue and damaged beating.  

I formed a submissive group (I have talked about that before) - our plan was to educate and support each other.  There have always been predators on the fringes of our community......  it was difficult to hear about the women who were taken advantage of.. who were hurt... some damaged... some driven out of the community in fear.  This was not what I wanted for newbies ... I wanted them to find the joy that the community brought me.

Well the years have passed.  The community has changed ... I have pulled back..... a long way back.  And because I haven't been actively involved I forgot about the dangers that lurk out there ........ 

until yesterday.  I read Bonnie's (My Bottom Smarts) post 'Coping with Hate' .... 
If you are interested go read it..... 

Life is good even when it's a 'same shit different day' situation.

Best Laid Plans

We had plans for the weekend...... but this is the Great White North ...so no plans are ever engraved in stone in January.  The predicted snow storm hit......... mind you we have nothing to complain about we don't live in Newfoundland.  (see below)

We got 20 cms of snow - Newfoundland got 75cms (or almost 3 feet) in less than 12 hours (AND they got another 15cms a day later)
So yeah we have nothing to complain about! 

Nevertheless we had plans for a family gathering in Montreal to celebrate eldest daughter's (and her husband's) birthday.  The snow came and plan A was changed to Plan B.

Plan B was not nearly as much fun - or as interesting - as Plan A.  Plan B consisted of movie watching and snuggling .......... and then on Sunday when the storm was over - shovelling....... and more shovelling...... and some more shovelling! 

Plan C is in the works -- Plan C is a trip to the campgrounds this coming Saturday for a hot dog / skating party...... and then out for sushi for dinner....... Birthday Party 2.0.

BUT 

there's more snow in the forecast for this coming Saturday......... 
we might need a Plan D...... 

Life is good when there are 25 letters in the alphabet  

Sunday Sentiments

Misconceptions

My ex has a multitude of misconceptions...... (some of which he posts semi regularly on FB) 

Let's go back years and years ....... 

* he had the mistaken belief that monogamy meant I didn't see anyone else but he could
 * he has the mistaken belief that I loved Sir Steve from day 1 (not even close to the truth - I respect monogamy - and kept my distance from Sir Steve when his marriage fell apart and when he remarried )
*he had the mistaken belief that I was desperate for his money (rolling eyes) ... desperate for attention (bigger eye roll) ... 
*he had the mistaken belief that it was OK to follow me on social media (my fault for not setting my privacy correctly) - Ok to mail me stuff - Ok to talk about me and Sir Steve and the lil one on social media
* he had the mistaken belief that I 'stole' all our friends from the BDSM community when in actual fact they 'stole' me away by convincing me to move out of his house and make my own way.  (they had made up their minds about him LONG before we split up)

The most recent misconception was yesterday when he tagged me in a post on FB about a faulty front door on his house.  Granted it was a door I had purchased - that had defects -- that I was continually having to deal with with the company.  I am assuming he thinks I care about that door........ I don't.  

It's that simple ...... I just don't care.  I tried ..... dear god I tried for years ... then I simply stopped trying.......... 

All I can hear (right now in my head) is the song "Let it Go.......... "  
I do wish he would "Let it Go"......... 
 

Too Old.....

This morning it is -20something Celsius .......... the lil one was dressed in multiple layers ........... she looked like a lil roly poly snowman.

We walked to the bus stop (approx. 2 mins) ....... 
We waited for the bus (approx 2 mins)
I walked home (approx 2 mins)

As I peeled off my layers .... with legs shaking from the cold ... I kept muttering
"I am too old for this shit!!"
 

The Great Shopping Adventure.......

So yesterday I went out shopping.......not for groceries ... or for the lil one... or for the house or Sir Steve ........ I went shopping for ME.  I wanted to get some funky bohemian type clothes -- well definitely some new leggings and a couple of new sweaters.

I had been looking forward to this shopping trip which in itself was amazing!  I got the lil one on the bus to school and came home and got dressed up......... did my hair and put make up on.  In my head I looked like this as I left the house for this great shopping adventure...........

I spent 2 hours shopping......... I was getting more and more frazzled.......so many racks and rows of clothes I felt like I was going round in circles.  I saw a nice dark blue sweater and I just grabbed it and threw it in the cart.  I found leggings on sale for $10 and grabbed 3 pairs (one grey ... one dark blue with wee flowers on them .. and one leopard spotted) I found a nice brown sweater. I picked up some eye liner and lipstick ...... oh yeah and I bought a new sexy bra ... soft dove grey with lace.  AND I didn't try one thing on.

After 2 hours I was done -- done like dinner!!!  As I walked to my car I glanced at my reflection in a shop window............... this is what looked back at me.................

Frazzled -- hair sticking up all over the place -- my lipstick chewed up -- my scarf flapping in the breeze.

I came home exhausted!!!  but I persevered and tried on the clothes -- first the soft brown sweater -- it's ok -- looks better with a brown/grey scarf I have...... tried on the blue sweater figuring it would be perfect....... BUT there was something wrong -- WTF -- it had no sides???!!!  I must have it on wrong -- must be some trick to this.......... except there wasn't any trick -- it was a bloody poncho!! a turtle neck poncho!!  (le sigh - now I have to go back to the shops and return it)

Life is good when you have great shopping adventures and live to tell about it

 

Honouring Me

I am - finally - honouring ME.  I am accepting my weaknesses and my strengths.  I am accepting that some days I just need to be quiet in our home.

I used to joke that I had 'adulted' enough...... or that I had 'peopled' enough.  The truth is - it isn't a joke.  People exhaust me.  People's lies stress me (I can't understand WHY people lie!) People confuse me.   I used to see that as a weakness - something I had to overcome.  I had to learn the 'rules' to this game called life - figure out what everyone else seemed to know....... I had to be more like 'them'.  

That was a mistake.  I can't be 'them'.  I can only be ME.

NOW that I can more or less pick and chose when I venture out into the big world -- I am so much happier........ less anxious.  Now I realize ... no not realize.. more like I give myself permission to live my life my way.

I have been healing wounds caused by my past - from family who didn't /couldn't hear me - to lovers who were socially inept and insecure (and blamed me) .  

I had to reach down deep inside of myself -- to find out who I was ... what I wanted... and honestly to learn to be a little bit selfish ........ being selfish isn't always a bad thing... being selfish has allowed me to find what makes me happy - what makes me tick.. what lifts my soul and frees me.

Little things are allowing me to live more authentically..... like redecorating the house in an oriental theme (thank god Sir Steve loves it as much as I do!!) .... like accepting I must have quiet days alone...... like accepting I have made some rotten choices in my past - and trying to let go of those mistakes ........ like accepting I have my own style and that I won't allow anyone to define that style for me anymore.


Life is good when you learn to honour yourself and learn to live authentically.

Final Showing..

I told you all about the redecorating that got done the week after Christmas ... well everything is finally in and up so I thought I would give you some snapshots of our redecorated home...... 

The duvet cover came ....... and we both love it!!  such a perfect fit...........

The shelves arrived and up and displaying my oriental items............

The lil one's room is probably the biggest change..... it had been a rather ugly pink and green ... we let her pick the new colour (with some guidance) and she picked a nice grey/purple........ I bought her a canopy to complete the princess bedroom....... 

and she absolutely loves it!!  Every day she curls up in her 'castle' and reads and reads and reads........ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be honest though this is not what I wanted to write ... I have been struggling with a post I keep thinking I have to make -- write it then delete it...... 

I tell myself it's all in the past -- leave it there... 

It's not always easy for me to let go of things....... especially when the disillusionment is so thick it spills over to me........

I am trying to apply the strategies I learned in the Bounce Back program -- some days they work - other days I grind my teeth and want to shout from the roof tops....... 

(whispering in a wee small voice) but I won't write the post ..... cause he still scares me -- after all this time he still scares me.

Doorbell

(warning - graphic sexual content with pictures 
yeah you know now you can't wait to read/see!!!)

I had a post ready in my head for today..... already to write....... then I visited Windy's blog and thought OMG how appropriate is that for my post??!!!

see yesterday Sir Steve decided we had to have some play time..... well more like some sexy time....... and despite some playful fun all day (like Sir Steve putting some snow down my back - HARD LIMIT -- RED RED RED) and despite my head totally being in the game - my body wasn't  (see my sad face) 

It doesn't happen often (my body not being there) but it does happen occasionally.  Sir Steve is very adapt at getting my body there...... and yesterday was no exception.  Yesterday he focused on my 'doorbell' (read Windy's blog for goodness sakes!)

There was a lot of pussy slapping and tugging on my doorbell -- ohhhhhhhh lord my knees are going weak remembering the tugs on my doorbell.  For the record my doorbell is a bit ornate....... decorated for my pleasure.... 

and oh yeah it does elevate my pleasure !!!  and yeah definitely not for everyone.  

There is something very hot about Sir Steve tugging and stroking and slapping... again not for everyone -- but it satisfies the masochist in me..... 

All this playing ended in some very satisfying (VERY satisfying) sexy times.......

Life is good when the doorbell works !

 

Sunday Sentiments

Smoke and Mirrors

I was doing a lot of thinking yesterday after my post....... about how my blogging has changed in many ways since those first years.  

We were a tight knit group of masochistic submissives..... and we supported each other and shared secrets and advise and chatter.   I was pretty naive back then -- wearing my rose coloured glasses - believing everyone I engaged with were as real as I was -- as honest ........ 

And then........

one of the women was caught in a lie... more than one lie -- her whole blog was a lie -- everything she wrote was a fantasy and she had been using us.  And the news spread like wild fire.   We all felt cheated and hurt and angry.  Being me I was devastated.  I had trusted her -- shared with her .. laughed with and cried with her and she wasn't what she portrayed herself to be ....... how stupid could I have been??? 

(and before anyone questions this -- this woman took her blog down disappeared for awhile then came back for awhile then disappeared again)

It was explained to me quite simply........... the internet is all smoke and mirrors -- you never know for sure that the person you are talking with / sharing with is actually who they claim to be.

Now the few commenters I have are like social acquaintances  -- they make me smile and sometimes laugh -- sometimes I even worry a little bit about them.........but it's not the same now...... thanks to that woman many years ago who broke my rose coloured glasses ...... 

Dear Diary..........

Anyone else keep a diary ??  I kept journals for years -- I am guessing since late teens.  When I moved to Ontario I came across all those journals... years of  teenage angst and hope and deep philosophical thoughts (well they felt like deep philosophical thoughts - grinning)

Then I started blogging - 15 years ago - reaching out into the great dark void that was the internet ... hoping against hope I would find like minded people....... difficult to do when one is not entirely honest about who/what they are.  It took me a long time to use the word 'masochist'.  I always worried people would think I was damaged - sick - ya know?!  But then slowly I found one other like myself -- then they lead me to another and another and soon I discovered I wasn't alone with these desires and it felt very good!  'cause if I was 'sick' then I was in good company !!  For a few years we were a community of masochistic submissives 'talking' to each other via our blogs and emails - and once in while in person.  It felt great!

Then slowly our small community started disappearing.... one after another the blogs closed down and folks moved on.  I kept writing........ too stupid or too stubborn to just disappear.

Now I write cause I have always written........... I don't much pay attention to the numbers.. or the comments (or the lack of comments) cause it is MY story I am telling...... for me. 

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I might want to think about answering more of the comments that are left on my blog.  I might want to engage with folks a little bit more.  It kinda made me smile -- cause if you knew in me in the real world -- you would know that I tend not to interact with folks too much.  Weird yeah I know -- shrug 

So ......... I thought on the words of advise over night  -- I will try to interact a little bit more in the comment section....... no promises but I will try.

Waste of Time.......

This morning - early - I had to go for a mammogram.  I HATE doctors and doctor visits and diagnostic tests.  I got there 15 minutes before my appointment and the 'register here' department was short staffed so I got to sit for nearly 30 minutes before I could go in and get the damn test done!  Now I wait 6 weeks they say - for the results... I am hoping (hope against hope) that the whole test was a 'waste of time'.

Then because we have had internet connection problems for awhile now I placed a call to our provider......... my motto when you call with problems is 'hurry up and wait'.  I know they are working to find the problem and working to solve the problem but geeeeez once they played around for an hour they announced they would have to send a tech over.... on Thursday.  (see me grind my teeth?!)  BUT on the bright side they put me through to the billing department who knocked over $40 off our monthly bill for 2 years!!!

AND things got even better -- the tech called and said he was on the way over TODAY..... YAY!  he brought a new modem and said the problem was solved........ except I know a thing or two about computers.  So I told him to sit back down until I did a speed test.  TA DA!!  the speed is still intermittent and not as fast as it should be.  So now I have another tech coming out in the next couple of days to test the lines or something -- and will hopefully be able to solve our connection problems.

In the meantime nothing much got done around here today..... and I have a headache (le sigh).......... but it honestly wasn't a total waste of time.... the problems are going to be solved AND I will have a few more pennies in my pocket at the end of each month.

Sunday Sentiments

Elf Puke

Four years ago (and I know this because it came up in 'memories' on FB) youngest daughter sent me a message saying 'today is the day to clean up the elf puke' ... It made me laugh out loud........ cause when the holidays are over and the decorations are coming down....... and you have piles of stuff all over... it does look like Elf puke.

Today is our day to clean up the elf puke from this holiday season.........