Social Butterfly

 

I am turning into such a social butterfly!!!

Yesterday W and I went to the Scottish Games in Ontario for the day.  

Today we are heading off to our Nation's Capital to a private play party and spending the night in an absolutely gorgeous hotel...... for free !!! (best type of hotel stay dontcha agree??)

The last time we were up in Ottawa - we stayed at this hotel.  I was a little bit disappointed.  I pointed out to W how - for a newly renovated hotel - our room left something to be desired.  Just small things.. not major .. but honestly we were paying good money for this room... and it didn't meet my expectations.  For example - there was a HUGE chip / gouge out of the bathtub.. we were missing drinking glasses.... but I found them .. out on the balcony full of cigarette butts....... 

When we got home W wrote the manager a letter describing our disappointment.  She wrote back and told us she would love to have us stay with them the next time we were in Ottawa on them.  

Well it has been ... umm... I am thinking almost a year since the incident.  We got the invite to the play party and so W wrote to the manager to see if we could still take her up on her offer.  And we could!!!!  YIPEEE...

So off we go for a fun weekend....... I'll fill you all in on the details next week...... 

Play safe till I get back.......

Definitely a WINNER !!!

Well for the last few months I have been affiliated with EdenFantasys- a wonderful online sex toy retailer.

Now if you are anything like me (or the way I was ) you can't wander into a sex shop and browse - there always seems to be someone watching you - or worst yet - someone asking if they can help you .. what are you looking for??? embarrassing questions that I would do anything to avoid.  

Most of my first sex toys were purchased on line... and shipped ........ AND I had to go to the local UPS shop to pick them up - because they had come across the border and I had to sign for them.  Once - only once - there was some error - and the box was clearly marked "sex toys".  The chap who was serving me gave me this cheeky all knowing grin and told me to "have a good weekend" I nearly died right there on the spot.  It was also the last time I ordered sex toys on line.

Then EdenFantasys contacted me.  At first I will admit I was a little bit leary - would I be running all over the place to pick up the package?? Would I be embarrassed again??? Would it be worth the effort??


I have to say that I have been SO impressed with EdenFantasys.  The boxes are always delivered to the house - in the classic plain brown wrapper (cheeky grin) I have also been very impressed with "K" who contacts me regularly - sending me lists of toys to chose from.  I have made her life difficult more than once I am sure.... but not once has she showed her impatience.  She is living proof that there are still some companies who believe in "customer service"!!!


Now I haven't been involved all that long with EdenFantasys - but I am totally and completely impressed.  I don't know if any of you who read here have even visited their site - never mind ordered from them.. but if you haven't you are missing something.


Then a week or so ago "K" sent me an email - part of it said:

"I don't know if you heard the amazing news, but EdenFantasys won the "O" Award (which is a prestigious award given out by AVN) for Outstanding Online Retailer!" 

A big congrats to EdenFantasys - certainly in my opinion if any company deserves recognition they do !!!!

Gibberish

Have you ever thought about misunderstandings - especially written ones??? How often I wonder do they stem from one person not understanding the intent behind the words of the other person.

I took a course once upon a time....... so long ago now I can't even remember what it was called or the purpose of it............. BUT....... I do remember a section of the course being on verbal feedback.  

When you are going to answer someone - make sure you have fully understood what they were saying - their intent.  Do this by regurgitating what you think they said.... for example.......... "Let me make sure I understand you ...... you said....... blah blah blah" and then you wait for their confirmation you did indeed get what they said.. BEFORE .. you respond.  In my humble opinion it makes for a very long convoluted discussion.

Sometimes when I write a blog entry - or an email - I put wayyyyyyyyyy too much information in because I am hoping to make myself clear - my intent clear.  Almost as bad as saying "Let me make sure I understand you................"  Sometimes (ok a good part of the time) I don't bother.......... and then  lo and behold - misunderstandings happen.


Yesterday's blog for example.  I was not talking about a formal collar - something that actually goes around your neck and possibly chokes the breathe out of you.. no no no.  I was talking figuratively............. being owned.... with or without a physical manifestation of that ownership.


Then later on in the day - an email of mine was completely misconstrued and resulted in a hateful response.  


Le sigh.............


Yesterday was not my day for communications............days like yesterday make me wonder why ....... WHY??......... I even try.  

But the sun came up this morning.... the words poured into my head again....... and I am back here writing......... (such a masochist !!)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On another completely different subject - though in a sense perhaps not - I am putting on my "teacher's hat" starting next week........ and going out to the Island to help middle grandson - the one who is afraid of leaving his family - even for a fun day at Santa's village - get ready for Kindergarten.


He did spend a year in "play school" ......... but it was just that ........ a place to play.  If a child didn't wish to participate in the slightly more academic parts of the program they didn't have to......... he didn't.

So in 4 weeks he is facing entering Kindergarten in a language he doesn't know (french) with a whole mess of kids who are almost a year older than he is.  As well - the schools up here in the Great White North - no longer use Kindergarten as an "introduction to school".  Nope - by September they are all expected to be able to write their own names - be able to write the alphabet  .. know their numbers / write their numbers..read a few words or even better be able to read period!! ..... follow directions.. play nicely with other children .. and a multitude of other skills he just doesn't have.

So I offered up my services as a tutor for Kindergarten - who ever heard of such a thing?? (another Le Sigh) ............... We'll see how it goes ........ he may just very well end up wishing I would take him out to Santa's village rather than teach him his letters and numbers....... 

But baring any major gibberish issues - hopefully he and I will bond - he will learn something.. I will get to spend more time with all the grandkids... AND ... get myself ready for the start of school too......... after all - it has been nearly 7 months since I had to follow a schedule and actually use my head for something more than a hat rack...........

Buying the cow

As most of you have probably figured out - if you have been reading here for any length of time - I have more clichés and old adages to live by then most folks.  I was raised on those clichés and old adages !! (god bless my grandmother and mother!)


I remember when I was just starting to date....... and my mother figured she had better have the "mother/daughter talk" with me.  She started the whole thing off by saying "if he can get the milk from the cow - why would he buy the whole cow?"  Now to be honest - I didn't have a clue what she was talking about...... cows did not equal sex to me... it took some head scratching and a whole mess of other old adages and clichés for me to realize what she was really talking about.  She was gonna make sure I did not turn out to be a "slut".  (and for the record I didn't - being a virgin when I got married.  Now that is not always a good idea either.. but that is for another day and another post)


But recently I have been thinking about that old cow adage.... (and no that is not a reference to my age !!!  cheeky grin)


Since March last year - I have not been collared......... which makes me ... by my definition... a "bottom".


Now W and I may be back together - but NOT as Master/slave or Dom/sub ........... more as Top and bottom (and in the vanilla world we are boyfriend/girlfriend) No serious commitment on either side needed.




However I find myself falling into old habits.  On Saturday talking with someone at the play party - I referred to W as "my Sir"............ and then bit my tongue.  He is not "my Sir".  I need to remember that.  


Oh he plays with me at play parties - and we do vanilla things together...... BUT not "my Sir".  And for those of you curious - but afraid to ask - we have sorta / kinda decided to leave things as they are......... W being the Top and me being the bottom............ for now.  


Which brings me to the buying the cow adage............ and trust me it has nothing to do with sex.... but it does have a whole lot to do with withholding.  IF I give W everything a sub/slave gives why would he want to have me as his collared sub???!!  Why indeed would any dominant want to have a girl who gives everything over immediately, without working for it............. and by working I mean - talking about the parameters of the relationship...... the needs/expectations/requirements/desires and a whole multitude of other stuff that SHOULD be hammered out before the collar is placed around her neck??


I don't believe it should be a casual thing........ the rights and responsibilities of both Dom and sub.  I believe they should be worked on... earned. (and maintained for the life of the relationship)


I have always preached the submissives are not...and should not be.........doormats.  Over the years of living in this BDSM community - I have come to equate the duties/roles of a submissive as being "the milk from that damn cow"..... I don't wish to be seen as "easy".  (cause trust me I am not.......... not in any definition of the word!!)

I believe that just cause you are a dominant - it does not give you the right to hold the reigns (so to speak) on a submissive............ Some commitment is necessary.  And in the BDSM community commitment comes in the form of a collar.  


Now I have discussed this many times before............ there are different collars a submissive can/may wear.... 
There is the training collar
There is the collar of consideration
And there is THE collar.

Until THE  collar is on........ I believe the submissive is still partially free.  (radical thinking in this community of protocols and rituals and stagnant beliefs).  


You want the whole cow (the pleasures of having a submissive - in all it's forms) then buy the whole cow!  Until then................. the submissive should be free to do more or less as she pleases when he is not Topping her.


Just more of my radical thinking .......... (that gets me into soooo much trouble)

Stuck

I have been feeling "stuck" for the last few days....... I thought Saturday had "unstuck" me but no.... it is going to take more than a spanking session (or two) to move me forward again.

I was thinking yesterday that it was bad to be stuck.. I didn't want to be stuck... I want to continue moving forward.  

BUT 

as the day lengthened - I realized a couple of things ......... 
1) it is not all about me.. I may be ready (more than ready to move forward) but not everyone is ready to move forward at the same time 
2) it's ok to be stuck... life doesn't stop ... the world keeps spinning... status quo works

And while I am stuck - it gives me time to re-evaluate my values, my needs, my desires, hopes and dreams.  

And that's ok.

Through the looking glass

Yesterday was the bi-monthly play party at L'Oubliette.  W and i had plans to attend.  But after Friday's fiasco type day, i was not the least bit sure i was up to going.  Then i remembered - in the past - when my emotions/stress levels were high a bloody good session of pain seemed to empty me of the negative feelings and lift me up.  (i know i know that just sounds crazy to some of you)

So W and i talked Saturday morning - i told him of my need for pain.... a healing pain... so off we went to L'Oubliette late in the afternoon.  

It all started off fine... W and i managed to get the indoor (air conditioned) dungeon to ourselves before dinner.  W played hard with me - fucked me ( a wham bang thank you ma'am kind of fuck) - all of which -  left me a shaking trembling mess of submissiveness.  Exactly what the doctor ordered......... though as a side note - it was difficult to focus on barbecuing dinner and then afterwards keeping my eyes open.

Someone by the nickname of "batman" walked into "my space"at some point and introduced himself.  He wasn't very discrete in what he wanted.  a) he wanted me to kiss him b) he wanted me to hug him c) he wanted some woman - preferably me - to spank him.  He got my back up.  I told him to bend over I would be very pleased to demonstrate a spanking.  He backed off.  Inside I had a good chuckle.

After dinner a car roared up the drive and a handful of young lusty males piled out of the car - with one of them blindfolded on a leash.  It turned out - after someone helped me with the translation from Fench to English - that the young blindfolded stud was a groom to be and a Master and this was his bachelor party.  His buddies had decided to strip him down and offer up his ass to everyone there for a paddling.  

At some point I got up and wandered over to the area where this groom was being paddled and stood at the back of the crowd watching.  Lady C turned and saw me standing there just as the "best man" announced "last call" she asked why i had not taken a turn... i shrugged opened up my hands to indicate i had no toys (easier than trying to find the french vocabulary) she laughed and pulled out 3 paddles and told me to chose one.. she also told the best man to wait..there was one more...

Before i knew what was happening i was standing in front of a crowded room ...facing a bare badly marked ass - with a paddle in my hand.  The next thing I knew I was showing the poor bugger the next instrument of his demise.... and silently (sometimes the lack of vocabulary is frustratingly appropriate) took my place beside his ass.  I rubbed his cheek with the leather paddle - I wound up and gave him a good fair smack on the left cheek.  Then I patted the other cheek - while he rated the first hit as "good".. wound up and smacked his right cheek - to which he announced loudly - "very good.  Thank you ma'am" Which had the whole crowd laughing and clapping.  Apparently they had all been trying to get him to say thank you after each set of smacks.  I - for god only knows what reason - was the one who earned it.

W and i found each other again and managed another session of whips/quirts and knives.  By this point i was done - done like dinner - and more than ready to head home to bed.  

BUT


there was the whole issue of "batman"...... i was not going to leave without offering up my services to "pop his spanking cherry" one last time.  I found him in the air conditioned dungeon watching a scene.  I asked him one last time if he was going to let me spank him.  (in all honestly i expected a "no not now" comment) but instead he said "yes - but outside - I don't want anyone watching".  


Now the ball was in my court - "shit or get off the pot" as the expression goes.

I followed him to a tree - and had him "stick it out" .. farther .. farther.... and then I gave him a fairly good wallop with a paddle I had picked off the wall in the dungeon - over his jeans.  He grunted then starting fidgeting all over the place - I couldn't figure out what he was doing.. I told him to stand still - and he gasped out "wait a minute" so I waited and then realized he was dropping his jeans !!! 


Ok then.. you gonna offer it up to me... and I am flying on endorphins - then you are gonna get it....... 


After a goodly number of smacks - I stopped.  It was enough.  I laughed - pinched his rather large floppy ugly nipples (drakor's are much nicer and so much smaller) and thanked him for the privilege of "popping his spanking cherry"


On the way home in the car - i felt like Alice through the looking glass. Generally I shy away from being on the opposite ends of a paddle... generally??!!!  all the time !!!  Yet last night it had been fun........... maybe because there were no expectations ...AND a whole lot of endorphins..... who knows?!

Fail

The kids use a term now ...vernacular.... they say simply ...."fail"

That's how I feel ... "fail".... 

Sometimes it feels like I am swimming as fast as I can and getting no where...

Sometimes it feels like the things I want most I screw up......

Sometimes it feels like I should just pull in the sidewalks .. close up.. lock up.. and let the world spin away on its own........ 

yeah... fail is a good vernacular expression for how I feel

Another hot one

I have been up since before dawn......... W told me last night he would be arriving for breakfast around 6:30 am........... so being me I woke at 2 to see if it was time to get up... i woke at 3 to see if it was time... and at 4:30 gave up and got up.......... 

i will have breakfast with W then head off to the island to visit baby daughter and the brood for the day............ They have spent their summer holidays in 'balconville' (reference to a Quebecoise play ) Having just bought their new home a year ago - there was tons of work to get done ........ the most important one being a new safe deck around their pool.  After many 'bumps in the road' getting this infamous deck done - I have been told it is finished !!!  Hurray !!!

So 'granny' promised to bring in a picnic lunch - and we are going to spend the day on the new deck - swimming in their pool.

I am really looking forward to a 'day off'.  This summer I have redecorated the master bedroom.......... did some tweaking with furniture in the living room ..... have been working in my garden - the girls' gardens ........ and entertaining........ honestly I feel like I need a day off.............. relaxing and swimming and playing with the kids.

Tomorrow I will probably bore everyone with tales of the grandkids - the pool and the brand spanking new deck.

Stay cool - if you are living through this heat wave...........

24/7

Last Saturday evening at the munch - one of the participants asked us to raise our glasses in acknowledgement and celebration of International BDSM day - which is this Sunday ......... July 24th.  (24/7 - get it??)

I am not one for "special" days - be it Valentine's Day or Mother's Day or Father's Day or any of the multitudes of other special days.  However I do celebrate Gay Pride - they fought long and hard (and are still fighting ) to be accepted.  And I throw my full support behind their movement.

I realize it is very difficult for some of us to stand up proudly and announce our affiliation with a community that is seen as a bunch of abusers and 'abusees'.  I realize that some of us - myself included - must sit by the sidelines because to proclaim our affiliation would mean - possibly - loss of jobs and family.


But there is always some way we can show our support for those brave enough to be "out there in their faces" proclaiming our existence.  Buy a book, buy a video, play with your partner - lift a glass - fly a flag on your blog.  If you are not ashamed of who or what you are....... do something !!!

I know this movement is in Spain...... the UK....... Australia ........ Canada...... The US....... anyone know of another country??? There must be more...... we have to spread the word..... it feels important to me........ for some stupid reason - it feels very important to me!

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Celebration
Let's all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

It's time to come together
It's up to you, what's your pleasure

Everyone around the world
Come on!

Heat Wave

They - being the weather specialists - tell us we are in the middle of a heat wave up here in the Great White North.

The last two days have been in the high 20's - with the humidex factored in - it has been in the mid 30's.  Tomorrow they say it will be 34 with the humidex factored in - it will be 45 degrees (ok ok that is for those of you not on the metric system a whooping 113 degrees!!)

Now in my memory (which grows foggy with age) our normal summer temperatures are usually around 28 degrees (82.4) and I honestly don't remember the humidity being as high - for as long - as this summer.  Usually we have a little humidity which triggers a major thunder storm - and poof !!  humidity gone.

BUT that isn't happening this summer.... so it is a heat wave.

I live for the summer sunshine - and to some degree the heat.  

The strangest thing seems to happen to my body in the sunshine.  I go outside - curl up on my lil love seat under the red umbrella - and my body melts (in a good way) into the seat - totally relaxes - it is like a heat massage for the stressed muscles and body. My mind relaxes to the point I am just about brain dead.  The quiet summer noises serenade me into a self induced semi comatose state.  The longer I sit outside in the heat - the heat grows IN my body.  It isn't unusual for me to come inside - find one of the numerous vibrators/dildos I have - and have a quickie ........ yeah a quickie...... cause this heat wave burning inside happens more than once in a day.

I said in an email yesterday - that I wished I could bottle the well being that comes from sitting in the sun - the peace - the tranquility - the overall good feelings........ and bring it out again in the dead of winter - when the wind blows and your nose hairs turn to icicles the minute you step outside - and your breathe freezes - and the sun barely touches the earth - never mind warms it. 

But I can't - so I spend as much time outside as possible in the summer - damn the house cleaning - it can keep for those few odd days of rainy weather.  


OH ... one big problem with my love of sunshine and heat - W hates it... with a passion!!!  Poor W - he doesn't know what he is missing (cheeky grin)

Life Just Happens

swan - over on the Heron Clan - has been writing a series of blog entries on fixing a damaged relationship........ she said (and rightly so ) that there is no conventional help for those of us in a kinky relationship........ hard to find marriage counseling when the husband (partner) is a Dom.  Her hope is (and correct me if I am wrong swan) that writing these blog entries will have a twofold purpose......... 1) to help her sort out her thinking and 2) perhaps these entries will be "bread crumbs" for those who come after - looking for some sort of direction .. or just to know that someone else has gone through the same thing.

Her writings have made me stop and think - and that doesn't happen very often.  The other thing I realized the other day was that those of us who agree with swan - offer up our advise and comments - are mostly of "an age".  



That made me start thinking differently about the whole mess  (hers mine and others)


Yesterday's blog about nicknames  - and to some extent - attitudes was the soft stirrings of an idea - an opinion.  I am beginning to think that when we are young - we all tend to believe (and live)  our own hype.  Like so much that happens when we are young.. we tend to believe that we are invincible.  Submissives are the best ever - kneeling at the feet of their doms.. Doms are the best ever - endless energy and sex drive and strength (and seeming wisdom)


Then something happens.......... between the time we are 30 somethings and the time we are 50/60 somethings........... 


Life is what happens.

One day we wake up and discover that old joints don't kneel indefinitely anymore.... the erection we once were able to sport for hours - or have daily - are harder and harder to find - we discover illnesses we never dreamed of .......... we discover we are vulnerable.

And I think with that vulnerability comes a sense of failure... some of us (perhaps) run faster trying to find what we have lost .... others succumb to the seeming failures and withdraw  - from the lifestyle and perhaps from the ones who love them most.  And some of us try (very hard) to find a new way - an older more mature way of doing what we have done for years.

It's this search for newer ways to do familiar things that we should will leave for those who follow after us.

Munch a bunch.............

OR ............what's in a name??

Some of you "non" BDSMers and maybe even some of you BDSMers may not know what a "munch" is............ 

Simplified - it is a gathering of "like-minded" people at a vanilla restaurant.  It is supposed to be a safe haven for newbies to get their feet wet - no threat of anything too scary happening (vanilla restaurant and all that) - a good opportunity to meet folks - talk, discuss and sometimes debate.

Our munches seem to have evolved from two monthly munches (one of which W and I organised) ...... to almost no munches - to a once a month slosh (just what it sounds like - a meeting of folks at a bar for drinking and carousing) and - what I think of as a more traditional munch - every so often - for food and conversation.  Saturday evening W and I went to the more conventional munch.




It always fascinates me the nicknames people come up with - aliases they use on line - so no one can identify them.  Somehow it seems to me - when one is meeting face to face - to stick to the alias is a bit of sham......... after all we are face to face for god's sakes!!    


But that isn't really what I started off to discuss....... what I was thinking was how imaginative people can get with their nick names - "wsmbic" was one ...... "cilantro" was another ......... Caliente was another...... "morningstar" my alias is one that some folks can not let go of.... even when I tell them my real name........ even when I encourage them to use my real name ............ nothing works - I am still "morningstar" to them.... and it feels a little odd - to hear the name "morningstar" rolling off someone's tongue in a vanilla setting  ..... and yet it can feel right too..... (probably has to do with who is using the nick) .... it is me.. has been me for over 25 years.......... 


Anyway... I digress - 


There was an individual there on Saturday evening whose nick is vidvicious - but as he pointed out to me his submissives refer to him ALWAYS as "Lord".  I took a deep breath..... I bit my tongue..... I took another deep breath...... then I said "Well as long as you don't actually believe that hype"............... to which he replied - "But I am LORD".  Ok then!  I will believe that when I see you walk on water - or change water to wine.. until then - forgive me if I remain a little skeptical. (thoughts - folks - thoughts!!  I didn't wish to pop his bubble - not at our first meeting)


One twit in 30 isn't too bad........ I also met a very nice female Dominant who goes by the name of Lady Sugah......... she sent me an email yesterday that made me kinda sit up and take notice ........ she said that I was "real" and a whole mess of other nice things that I won't repeat........... 


REAL ....... yeah I am nothing if not "real" ........ I have a lot of trouble with most of the hype that sounds dominants (and submissives to a certain degree) ....... I figure we are all meeting at a vanilla restaurant....... for dinner and discussion......... for the most part (in my addled brain anyway) we are all basically on the same level........... (well except for the Lord types who see themselves so high up on their precious pedestal they could never climb down) 


Why... I asked myself... would anyone be anything BUT "real"???? Where is the advantage to being make-believe??? What is the point of being someone you really aren't???   


And that got me to thinking about the whole hype around being dominant...(and yeah submissive hype too)...... and quite likely one of the reasons (one of many I assure you) that I could never ever be dominant and more then likely why Lady Sugah saw me as "real"............. 


But I think I have rambled enough for one day....... and these thoughts I am having about dominant hype (and submissive hype) still need to be catalogued and sorted ........ before I put them out there for public viewing and condemnation (cheeky grin)

Covert Operations

Did you all miss me yesterday??? 

Well pull up a chair and let me tell you where I was and what sneaky operations I was involved in...........................

There was a gathering of 'doms' yesterday afternoon...  and it was rumored that they were going to be plotting and planning the demise of submissives (in general and specific)


I tried to garner support from my fellow submissives - but chickens all......... so it was up to me to go into spy mode and sneak into this gathering - risking life and limb for the sake of submissives everywhere (but especially here in our corner of the Great White North)

I arrived at W's early - and with some fast talking - a lot of wiggling and batting of eyelashes - I convinced him that I should tag along.  I told him I was going to bring my camera and practice using my new telephoto lens .......... and he bought my story!!!

When we arrived at the secret rendez-vous - there were 9 doms already there... there were bamboo sticks sticking out of the ground in what - at first appeared - random order.  But on closer inspection I could see there was a thin cord running from bamboo stick to bamboo stick, forming boxes - ah ha !! some sort of trap!!  And one of the doms was baiting the traps with brightly coloured balloons !!!  Most of the doms were huddled together under the shade of a tree - hiding from curious eyes ... and any spy like submissives.... (ok ok they were seeking refuge from the sun and heat - but my version sounds better!!)

I managed to look convincingly uninterested in their antics by wandering over to some canterbury bells growing a few feet away.  I took a couple of pictures of the flowers - and then - when no one was watching (I am very good at doing the 'invisible subbie' act ) I hid behind a sapling and paid close attention to what was going on not 10 feet away from me.

These doms were openly practicing their skills with whips........ of all sizes and shapes and colours !!!  OH MY GOD!!  we - submissives - were all doomed!!


Then I watched more carefully - I even managed to snap some pics of this ungodly whip practice.

I am pleased to report to all submissives everywhere......... we are safe!!  most of the balloons only wobbled slightly... more than one dom wrapped the whips around themselves... and even the police driving by saw no reason to worry or to stop.


Covert operation completed.... home we went to have a rest before heading out to the evening munch.

And that dear readers is the reason I was AWOL yesterday - but with good reason!!

Our GREAT Adventure

We have been trying - W and I - to steal middle grandson away from the family for a day's trip to Santa's Village.  Each time we had penciled it in ......... the weather forecast was for thunder storms......... so the great adventure got postponed....and postponed .. and postponed again !!!  I was beginning to despair of ever getting up North.............. 

BUT yesterday dawned sunny and warm - with absolutely NO threat of thunder storms - so by 9:30a.m. we were out at the island (like a couple of excited kids raring to go) to pick up pigpen (as we affectionately call him) 

Youngest daughter had warned me that pigpen has been having nightmares about being stolen away - and for some reason - has become very clingy and not wanting to leave his family.  (Oh thought I - the great wise one!!  I can talk him out of that nonsense!!)

So W and i and pigpen all piled into the car for the hour and a half drive to Santa's village - or Santa's summer cottage for pigpen's benefit.


We hadn't got off the island when he teared up and asked "when can I go home?" sighhh not a very illustrious start to our day.


BUT once we got there - with all the brightly coloured roof tops peaking over the trees - the press of excited children - things started to pick up......... especially when pigpen announced for one and all to hear "THIS IS AWESOME" 

We tried out the water features - from the spurting candy canes to the Christmas Tree decorated wading pool...............

We went to the Air Bounce village filled with bouncing houses made of rubber...........

W and pigpen climbed up to the birdhouse

W and pigpen tried to climb up to the tree house

We walked and we walked and we walked some more - feeding the ducks - watching the sheep and goats.......

 W and pigpen - of course - had to take a ride on the "North Pole Express"..........

We even spent some time watching a mountain goat climb up up up .............

we walked through houses with glass and mirrored walls... we worked our way around the park - until....................

we came to the "raison d'etre"  - Santa's house!!! With a reindeer just waiting for us to come and feed him..... with Santa waiting to hear our secret wishes for Christmas.....

And then .......... we waved goodbye to the penguins packed everyone into the car - hot and tired.......... and home we came............ pigpen asked as we pulled out of the parking lot "when will I be home??"

W and I declared the day "A Great Adventure" pigpen was just glad to get home.......

Protocols - revisited

 

I know some of you don't understand the need for protocols in a relationship....... but this is something I needed to do for me............ so if you aren't interested in my view of protocols .. bye bye.. come back another day

The following is a selection of readings I did over the last few days... 

>Protocol is not ritual, although it may contain ritual elements.

>Ritual is a behavior, repeated by situation or on demand. The purpose of ritual is the ritual itself, and the feelings it creates in the submissive and/or the dominant.

>Protocol rules are the guidelines which the strong willed and intelligent submissive uses to make decisions in the best interests of her Dominant. It is a structure outlining
appropriate behavior and action. It is a set of rules which illustrate the Dominant's desires, needs and priorities. A well-structured Protocol allows confidence on the part of the submissive and the Dominant, and helps take D/S outside the bedroom and into everyday life.

Low Protocol (used most often in normal day to day life) is:

·         A continuous reminder of service and its responsibilities

·         Permitted casual behavior, yet with specific boundaries.

• Recognition of station, orders, demands and requests
  in an invisible and unobtrusive fashion.
• Behavior which reflects the dominant’s intentions and desired
  interaction on a personal and professional level
• Awareness of accountability, despite the temptations
  offered by casual behavior and independence.

Middle Protocol (used most often used at play parties/ munches/events) is: 

•  Prioritize decisions in the appropriate context
• The time and place for degrees of casual behavior
• Consistent ground rules of action and responsibility
• Awareness and anticipation of the dominant’s needs, wants, and
  desires- and those of other respected Dominants in my
  company as a priority
• Focus on BDSM priorities, no matter how long or strenuous the time spent in Middle Protocol

High Protocol (used most often for a short period for the dominant’s amusement – for instruction – or for punishment)  is:

• Complete attention and focus, no matter what the
  distractions.
• Absolute and instantaneous obedience, without delay,
  hesitation or question.
• Decision-making and priorities are NOT part of High
  Protocol; the submissive’s wants, needs and desires are
  suspended.
• All extraneous movement, speech, and thought are
  unacceptable. If HighProtocol is in effect, concentration
  is demanded.
• Awareness that every move, answer and behavior is
  being carefully scrutinized and judged.

Rules always in effect:

·  Good Manners are always appropriate

·  Gratitude is always appropriate

·  Acknowledge a request, order or mistake

·  When in doubt, Ask. When in need, Request.

·  Maximum amount of information, minimum amount of
words. 

>The basic principle of submissive service can be summed up in one word: Attentiveness.

Ø >Your behavior should reflect your attentiveness to the dominant's needs and desires at all times. Your role is to serve those needs and desires.

Ø >Your ability to devotedly serve your dominant is a standard by which others will judge you AND your dominant.

Ø  >Power exchange is used during a scene or during the time when the

dominant and submissive are together

>Submissive’s Obligations:

In rank order, the submissive’s obligations are to her:

1. God

2. Biological Family

3. Education

4. Career/Professional Goals

5. Dominant

6. Household

7. BDSM Community

8. Extracurricular Activities