(which ever 'mom' was applicable to that day) I am not sure I took as much time as I should have - would have liked - to just enjoy my girls.
I was strict - sure - but I like to think - in my foggy memory - that I was always fair. There were days / episodes when emotions ran high and I lost it.... and they lost it.. and life was definitely no Norman Rockwell in our little corner of "the island"......... but for the most part (nodding yeah for the most part) I tried my damnedest to be a good mom, a fair mom, a loving mom.
Being a "Mom" is (as clichéd as it sounds) the toughest job on earth........ but I had a goal (gee imagine me having a goal !!) I figured the very best gift I could give my girls was to raise them to be independent women - to have them ready to leave the nest and fly high on their own wings. That was really my one and only goal for them.
And I think I achieved that goal........... though I have the grey hair and scars to prove it (cheeky grin)
Now they are grown - and now I try to stay out of their business. I have given them the tools to live their lives - and it is up to them to use those tools (or not) - and yeah sometimes they will fall and scrape their knees - and just like when they were little I am there to offer up band-aids and milk and cookies to ease the hurts.
This past spring was a really tough one for eldest daughter. After losing a baby last March - then losing her job in February (due to layoffs and cutbacks) - her husband walked in one morning and announced he no longer wanted to be married - packed his bags and moved out of province. The weeks that followed were pretty rough...... and I realized there had been some master plan in affect that had kept me house bound from January to May.......... I was able to be there for her......really be there ......... not preoccupied with my kids at school, or some report that was overdue.......... she had my attention 100%.
And we managed to come through that rough patch - with more than a couple of band-aids and more than a glass or two of 'milk' and definitely more than one cookie !! But we made it out of the rough patch side and she is now finding her way again - finding that independent woman I know she is............
She asked me a week or so ago if I would go with her to get another tattoo. (smiling - if someone had asked me 20 years ago which daughter would be doing body modification I would have said youngest daughter - hands down!!! BUT it is eldest daughter who is decorating her body)
Anyway - I said sure I'd love to go with her......... she made the appointment and we went last evening. She and her hubbie both had had the insides of their left wrists tattooed with a celtic knot - to symbolize - well the obvious - the love they had for each other. They had it done (if memory serves) on (or around) their first anniversary. She now wanted to get a celtic sun tattooed to the inside of the other wrist....... to balance the first one........ and to remind herself life is a continuing journey.............
It was a fun hour or so together.......... we shared stories with the tattoo artist about tattoos - our symbolic meaning for our tattoos (mom has 3 in case anyone has forgotten) ........... At some point the tattoo artist and eldest daughter declared "I was the coolest Mom EVER!" I teared up (but then I tear up over everything ... my Aunt O used to say my bladder was too close to my eyeballs )
Coolest Mom ever eh?? Know what?? I will wear that label - take that hype - with a bow.... and gratitude in my heart. Coolest Mom ever from a 30 something daughter is a pretty high honour............and helps me realize I have done a few things right as a Mom!
Now for your viewing pleasure.............. Eldest daughter's tattoo experience.......
beautiful tattoos. I'm an ink junkie myself. Laughed out loud reading "your bladder was too close to your eyeballs"...I was tearing up just reading your post. I must have the same anatomical anomaly.
ReplyDeleteMom's are pretty awesome. Since I've become one, I understand why my Mom was the way she was when I was growing up.
I'm a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason'...I hope things are looking up for your daughter.
Being a Dad isn't a Sunday afternoon picnic either. Those damned germ factories don't come with a book of instructions. There were times when I thought I was getting it right and even more times when I didn't have a freakin' clue if I was even close to being on the right track.
ReplyDeleteI did the best I could based on my limited knowledge of how it was all supposed to work. In balance, and looking back, I'm thinkin' that I didn't do anything resembling a good job.
You & your daughter needed each other .... and from the sounds of it, has made a world of difference for both of you.
ReplyDeleteI know I cherish moments like that with my boys.
The tattoos are quite lovely ... she made a fantastic choice.
It's the very first time I see tattoos that I'd like to have...
ReplyDeleteThey're lovely!
We are similar in so many ways. I try to stay out of my girls lives. However, I'm usually the first call when they trip. I love getting the grandbabies and enjoying the things I was too busy for when I was raising my girls.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the feeling of "coolest mom", you earned it.
I look forward to feeling the content of being there for my adult children someday...the teen years sure do hurt so badly.
ReplyDeleteLOVE the tatts- my garder tatts have celtic knots and our wedding rings are celtic knots so I undertand the connection and symbolism in their relationship.
It sure i interesting how "bad" things can open a door to something good such as your being home but able to be a shoulder for your daughter when she needed it. Glad your daughter is past her trials and into calmer water...