Monday, July 18, 2011

Munch a bunch.............

OR ............what's in a name??

Some of you "non" BDSMers and maybe even some of you BDSMers may not know what a "munch" is............ 

Simplified - it is a gathering of "like-minded" people at a vanilla restaurant.  It is supposed to be a safe haven for newbies to get their feet wet - no threat of anything too scary happening (vanilla restaurant and all that) - a good opportunity to meet folks - talk, discuss and sometimes debate.

Our munches seem to have evolved from two monthly munches (one of which W and I organised) ...... to almost no munches - to a once a month slosh (just what it sounds like - a meeting of folks at a bar for drinking and carousing) and - what I think of as a more traditional munch - every so often - for food and conversation.  Saturday evening W and I went to the more conventional munch.

It always fascinates me the nicknames people come up with - aliases they use on line - so no one can identify them.  Somehow it seems to me - when one is meeting face to face - to stick to the alias is a bit of sham......... after all we are face to face for god's sakes!!    

But that isn't really what I started off to discuss....... what I was thinking was how imaginative people can get with their nick names - "wsmbic" was one ...... "cilantro" was another ......... Caliente was another...... "morningstar" my alias is one that some folks can not let go of.... even when I tell them my real name........ even when I encourage them to use my real name ............ nothing works - I am still "morningstar" to them.... and it feels a little odd - to hear the name "morningstar" rolling off someone's tongue in a vanilla setting  ..... and yet it can feel right too..... (probably has to do with who is using the nick) .... it is me.. has been me for over 25 years.......... 

Anyway... I digress - 

There was an individual there on Saturday evening whose nick is vidvicious - but as he pointed out to me his submissives refer to him ALWAYS as "Lord".  I took a deep breath..... I bit my tongue..... I took another deep breath...... then I said "Well as long as you don't actually believe that hype"............... to which he replied - "But I am LORD".  Ok then!  I will believe that when I see you walk on water - or change water to wine.. until then - forgive me if I remain a little skeptical. (thoughts - folks - thoughts!!  I didn't wish to pop his bubble - not at our first meeting)

One twit in 30 isn't too bad........ I also met a very nice female Dominant who goes by the name of Lady Sugah......... she sent me an email yesterday that made me kinda sit up and take notice ........ she said that I was "real" and a whole mess of other nice things that I won't repeat........... 

REAL ....... yeah I am nothing if not "real" ........ I have a lot of trouble with most of the hype that sounds dominants (and submissives to a certain degree) ....... I figure we are all meeting at a vanilla restaurant....... for dinner and discussion......... for the most part (in my addled brain anyway) we are all basically on the same level........... (well except for the Lord types who see themselves so high up on their precious pedestal they could never climb down) 

Why... I asked myself... would anyone be anything BUT "real"???? Where is the advantage to being make-believe??? What is the point of being someone you really aren't???   

And that got me to thinking about the whole hype around being dominant...(and yeah submissive hype too)...... and quite likely one of the reasons (one of many I assure you) that I could never ever be dominant and more then likely why Lady Sugah saw me as "real"............. 

But I think I have rambled enough for one day....... and these thoughts I am having about dominant hype (and submissive hype) still need to be catalogued and sorted ........ before I put them out there for public viewing and condemnation (cheeky grin)


  1. I am one who actually has a hard time calling people by their pseudonyms (and some desire it in public party settings), because I think of many of my friends in the scene in vanilla terms anyway!! I even wrote a post about it!


  2. "Where is the advantage to being make-believe??? What is the point of being someone you really aren't???"

    Make-believe is the point.
    Being 'real' is too scary ... and probably NOT the way 'they' truly are.
    It's easier to be a persona; play a character.

    That's my take.

  3. Ordalie11:06 pm

    A witted and sarcastic report! Very funny too!
    What's the meaning of hype?

  4. @ordalie

    hype is publicity that is excessive/exaggerated

    does that help??

  5. Ordalie8:24 am

    Not really, because when you speak of dominant or submissive hype, what has publicity got to do in that context?

  6. @ordalie

    ok - hype is like bragging... only more so...

    a submissive says she kneels ALL the time - for hours and hours at her Dom's feet... she never grows tired.. that sort of thing

    A Dom says he is always on his game 24/7 - always demanding - always challenging - the BEST Dom ever...

    bragging is the best way I can think of defining hype..

  7. Ordalie12:32 pm

    Thank you! Much clearer now!


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