i have been noticing a trend..... in the world of BDSM blogs... there seems to be some "stormy weather" ahead........ there is much speculation amongst the blog writers of the cause for these storms........ PMS.. Dishonesty.. Distance.. Multiple partners... Disappointments......... But whatever the cause i am "hearing" lots of storm warnings over the wires......... and it made me stop and reflect...
Do we as submissives have this "Utopia" in mind when it comes to our BDSM life?? do we seek something that can never be?? some submissives are waiting for the children to grow and fly the nest.. others are waiting for the Dom to come home from work - for good .. others are waiting for health to improve.. for the bills to be paid.. i myself am waiting for the day when i can stay home .. have Sir living with me.. and i can be the slave/sub that i know i can be 24 hours a day 7 days a week...............
How realistic are our desires??? Sadly - not very. No matter how hard we work to create the very best conditions to live this life.......... the vanilla world is always .. ALWAYS.. just outside the door knocking.
i suffered - for a time - from an ego - i didn't "play" at this lifestyle.. i wasn't just a weekend sub.......... oh i may have rules to follow all week when Sir isn't with me.. and i DO follow them!!!! BUT the reality of it is... that is exactly what i AM.. a weekend sub. .......... Now do i have the right to expect full BDSM lifestyle on the weekends?? whips and chains and floggers (oh my!!) 24 hours a day for the 2 1/2 days Sir and i are together??? nope not really...........it is still up to my Sir what i get and don't get..BUT when i don't get it.. when i don't feel used and abused (for lack of a better term.. gimme a break people.. it is ALL consentual) i feel antsy and irritable and a storm is brewing...........
Like i said the vanilla world is always at the door knocking......... so what is the answer?? do we settle for what we can have?? and dream of what we desire??? i wish i had the answers........ do we fight for better "living conditions"?? i just don't know....
i do know that i am not the only sub dreaming and wishing.. and yeah doing some bitching ..........
The reality of life has and will always put road blocks up some we can detour around and some we cannot. Even it money and health was not a problem the vanillas will still scruntinize, hell lifestyles would still, so for me take what you got be happy for the moment then strive for more. Perfection is only a goal that drives the journey.
ReplyDeleteI have a dream, that one day, ALL Bob's children will be judged by the content of their toy chest, and not the flavor of their pudding...........
ReplyDeleteThat was Martin L. Kings first draft before his wife got whif of it........
I think some of us probably do have a Utopia in mind. But I don't think thats a bad thing. Even though sometimes it only seems to show us what we *don't* have, it also gives us something to reach for.
ReplyDeleteAnd everybody's paradise is different. For instance, your weekends would be heaven to me, right now. And my security in knowing that Master *will* be home would be paradise to someone who has no Master at all.
It's really easy to lose the big picture when you narrow your sights in on the tiny details. Lord knows I do it ALL THE DAMN TIME. This is just one more thing that I love about blogging, and reading others blogs; the perspectives. So vast, so informative. So valuable.
I sincerely believe that while we probably frustrate the tar out of our Masters, and ourselves with this cycle of complaining, it's healthy. This is what keeps us from settling for less than what we want. This is what fans the flames of dreams.
Gotta keep reaching for Utopia.