Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Road accidents

i have been questioning the content that i put in my blog these last couple of days.......... some of that questioning comes from the fact that a lot more people than i ever dreamed stumble across my writings....... and it stems from some of the comments i have received.. i KNOW that some of what i write makes people uncomfortable....... some of what Sir and i do makes people squirm.... and yet some keep coming back......

do my writings have the same appeal as a car wreck?? where folks stop and stare out of disbelief and curiousity??

i know that on a scale of BDSM writings ....... mine is probably gonna be found smack dab in the middle... between the sugar coated fairy stories to the down and dirty in your face blunt writings.... Most of the time my own sensibilities prevent me from being too graphic....... i have tried to explain the lifestyle... that this is all consentual safe and yeah sane (for us anyway)......... yet some days i am still left wondering if it is more like a road accident that draws people here to read........

We have a show up here in Canada - called you talk about your "reality shows" this one IS real......... the producers are working their way across Canada - filming folks in the BDSM lifestyle.. and putting it on TV on Friday nights at 9:30 ........... the first season Sir and i watched with our jaws on the floor.. amazed that so much of this was actually being produced on TV... by the 3rd season when they were in our fair city........... KINK had become our Friday night viewing choice. Sir and i had some discussions - many actually - about how the producers of KINK would never ever film our life....... because it would be boring ... yeah boring !!!! For the most part D/s IS boring.... and doesn't have much shock value.... we enjoyed watching our friends and acquaintances being filmed though........ watching Jules inject himself with saline solution so that he would have breasts and plumper lips.......... watching him suspend himself with large meat hooks through the skin....... now THAT my dear friends is road accident material !!! The consensus after the fact .. when the filming was done and the show was being aired.. that KINK had done some fancy cutting room work..........most of the talk about safe and sane and consentual was gone....... and all that was left was "road accident" shock material........... wow.. and the participants were surprised???!!! i was glad that Sir and i had decided to sit on the side lines and watch the circus perform.. (because for me it felt a little bit like a circus - all smoke and mirrors)..........

Right now i am not too sure where i wanted to go with this blog......... i guess i just wanted to say that i write from the heart.. i write the truth... no sugar coated fairy tales.. Sir and i are two very real people........... and if you saw us in line at the grocery store you wouldn't even guess what it was we did behind closed doors... and if what i write causes You to squirm or feel disgusted .. then i expect you won't be coming back any time soon...........or maybe my writings are a bit like a road accident.. you HAVE to come back.. you HAVE to read the next shocking installment of life as a collared submissive...........OR............ maybe just maybe.... my writings touch something dark inside your soul............. only you know for certain.........................


  1. morningstar,

    I LOVE your blog!!! I see the love you two share and it amazes me. I am not disgusted and I do not feel squimish (okay maybe for a second with the needle play, hehe I do not like needles) but I still think it is wonderful that you two have found each other and share such a deep strong relationship.

    The media loves to show the extremes of the lifestyle much higher ratings than reporting on the love, trust and honor that goes into a D/s commitment... But we all know what a loving deep relationship this lifestyle offers. Heck people think I am nuts because I wake up at 4am with my husband, make his coffee, make his lunch and start his car for him when it is cold out. You should see the reactions I receive and all I say is my husband worked his ass off so I could stay home with my children for 10 years. I feel this is the least I can do!!!! I do not tell them I did this for him from day one of marriage, hehe... But I like doing it for him.

    So never you mind what others think, this is your blog and the only one you need to worry about is your Sir and yourself!

    Enjoy the beautiful relationship you are so fortunate to share with your Sir.

  2. Anonymous9:24 am

    I was once compared to "watching a slow train wreck" in regards to my journal. But at the end of the day, not only is the counter still jumping, I'm satisfied with what I write and Master is more than satisfied so... does anyone elses opinion really matter?

    Besides, car wrecks ARE fascinating right? It would be worse, I think, to have them drive by and not look.

    You are fine, your blog is wonderful. Honest and real. BDSM is more than hooks through flesh.. it's breakdowns over non-functioning christmas lights and foot stomping temper tantrums during a flogging... and I think it's wonderful that you share it all.

  3. Anonymous9:50 am

    I come by to read your blog on a regular basis because it is a wonderful way to keep up with what is happening in your life... Since I often only get to see many of my kink friends at munches, I have found blogs to be a wonderful way to keep in touch with them in some manner and to provide moral support when it is needed.

    See you in a few weeks!

    ~ Mistress Jade

  4. you are a very genuine person and it is reflceted in your blog....that is what first kept me coming back. Now i am just hooked!!!

  5. Hi,

    Not said anything before but feel the need to respond to the question implicit in your last post.

    Sorry, it's probably rude to watch for so long and not talk.

    I've recently, in the last 4 months, got into a new relationship and found my new girl liked the pain.

    Actually, she went from not liking sex at all much to being a big fan of it within a month and then a move to her liking the sharper sensations and then onto spanking.

    It was when, without any warning, she bought and sent to me, a leather paddle with the word "Ouch" cut out of it to leave the impression on the skin, it was then i realised she really liked this stuff. Still, the look on my face when i opened this package must have been priceless, had no warning at all.

    It was her love of this that i decided to find out more, to indulge her likes and see what it was that she would like more of. Shes not totally subbie, but gave me a set of underwear for my brithday that, when she wears it, will do what ever i want without question. Huge responsibility.

    I found you blog and have been reading it since, trying to get a handle to try and promote her enjoyment here.

    I love reading your entries, and it's never a case of car wreck, it's always a new facet of your mind that is shown, something new to understand about you and occasionally about the lifestyle.

    It was your description of rainbows and faries that pushed me to push her and she had this almost fainty, heavy limbed and light headed rush that she loved and i need to learn to get her there and keep her there for a while.

    Honestly, i love your blog, you've helped me so much, even without knowing and i wanted you to know this.

  6. Not quite a car accisent my dear maybe just a choice we all make whether we like Renoir or Picasso it is life we cherish most. As fir hiw grafic you are well all we have to do is talk about carrots and ice and we will truly see how grafic you are. Let us not forget that everything is a matter of taste such as butt plugs do cause some to shiver while others jump on . So pretend you are a journalist for the Journal de Montreal or writing for the Church paper it is all good new when you have written it.

  7. Littleone

    I have been reading your blog for a month or more , came across it as per a comment you left on another blog..
    I blog as well, and i had a previous blog for a year - that one i discontinued.
    Anyway, i find solace in reading about other submissives such as i am one also; albeit without a partner , nevertheless, i have had a M/s relationship only once before.
    I feel a certain commonality wih you as I too live in the "Great White North"
    I find your writing to be open, honest and at times, quite humourous..
    I dont see your blog as a train wreck, i am not living a fantasy life through others- i simply find that there are many submissives who are in this blog world that i can learn from, and maybe even lean on if i ever needed some help/support..


  8. Anonymous10:33 pm


    Participating in Holidailies certainly exposes you to the eyes of a wide variety of folk.
    Some, yes, may read with something like the horrid fascination of viewing a car wreck. Others just need to have that X at the top right of their screen explained to them a bit further.

    Ones like myself are happy and grateful to journalers who let us glimpse the daily reality of such a lifestyle as we explore our own thoughts and desires.

    Reading the journals of other strong, intelligent women who have this side to themselves has meant a lot to me. The first I began reading was Leesa's, 3 or 4 years ago. And I found hers through- Holidailies. :)


  9. I know where this came from and I hate to think you considered yourself judged, for you weren't. I for the most part grew up in a vanilla world where the descriptions you provide us with such ease would have had the "normal" populace up in arms. I have approached this phenomenon with an exceptionally open mind considering that I personally have an extreme aversion to pain or disfigurement. I understand the masochistic mindset much better than the sadistic one, but I know that one does not function well without the other. All that being said, you need to understand if you don't already that those totally alien to these concepts would indeed find your honesty and joy to be rather disturbing. As one with a personal stake in "the lifestyle", I focus mainly on the relationship aspect of our world, knowing that D/s and S/m are two distinct parts of a world that often goes hand in hand, but for many exists independent of the two. If you honestly think that there is a "car wreck" aspect to your lifestyle that attracts people to your blog, and that disturbs you, well, consider the little people. Midgets live with that same sort of mentality, and just accepting that people have a strange way of accepting difference, if at all, just goes with the territory. Tend to thy light, my precious, for though it may blind some, it leads many to the truth.

  10. i want to thank everyone for their comments.... i was going to make this statement as a blog entry.. but decided to make it short and sweet (ugh can i do it?? ) and put here in the comment section.........

    most of yesterday's blog came from - believe it or not - my post on the 3Ps... for me .. for some reason.. it was pretty graphic .. not about the pain issues.. but about the sexual side of my life.. which i tend to keep artsy fartsy and not quite so blunt....

    and it also stemmed from the number of new people who are stumbling onto my blog... from the holidailies list.. wintryangel hit that one on the head !!! and i realized that i still try / need to protect the innocent for some stupid reason........

    and yeah it evolved from a couple of comments from newbies .. one who didn't understand what i was referring to when i wrote "subbie" and then the light came on.......

    BUT i also realized that even thos who find my blog writings make them a bit squeamish...... that IF they keep coming back.. i am touching something dark deep inside of them.........

    and so i write.. and will continue to write.. and will even (after Christmas) make my blog MORE BDSM content .. if it is possible and if i can... i am nothing if not a fighter for the rights of the underdog..... (small smile)

    and so much for keeping it short and sweet........

    morningstar (proud to be owned by Warren)


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