Well here it is the first day of holidailies.. i worked so hard prior to this to make the blog look Christmasy and upbeat........ like getting the house ready for a party...... and here i am standing with the door open ready to welcome the "guests"........ and what i feel is .. cranky.. ughhhhhhhh.. what a way to start off the Holidailies....... cranky
and i think i know why........ lack of sex and pain....... my two favourite things... On Monday i wrote this is not a pity party...... and it wasn't.. but for some reason as the week is progressing i am feeling more and more sorry for myself.... and yeah yeah i KNOW Sir and i had a busy weekend.. and things happen and sometimes the subbie doesn't get what she needs or wants..... BUT then ( i am sorry !!!) the Sir has to put up with the consequences... which will of course mean *i* have to put up with the consequences... i am almost glad Sir has a VERY busy week this week and is working 3 out of the 4 nights.. i can sulk all by myself.. and not get myself into as much hot water !!!
Now i could ... COULD .. write and ask Sir for permission to masturbate with my favourite toy.. i could ! BUT there is something mechanical about masturbating even with my favourite toy.. even with my vivid imagination producing hot lil videos in my head to watch as i masturbate....... it satisifies the ache but not the need.........
it is a little bit like self flageliation... there is no way i could give myself the pain i crave.. the mind just wouldn't allow it..... i do admire kaya’s ability to follow her Master's directions/orders for self pain.......... and she even manages to give herself that glorious endophin rush i am craving so much....... BUT (sighhh) i am most definitely NOT kaya.. and my Sir has never challenged me to do much more than give myself a few orgasms......and so i sit waiting for the weekend - it looks so damn far away........ 3 more sleeps (as the kids say ) until Sir arrives..... and two more evenings of Sir working............ ughhhhhhh colour me very cranky !!!
What a way to start off the holidailies as a cranky elf