This blog is intended for adults only. It may contain BDSM content from time to time.
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Rituals versus Routine
BDSM (old school that is) used to be built on rituals.. and protocols.
The other day I was comparing the rituals I have had in my life since I started in the community right up to the present. I was thinking Sir Steve doesn't put a whole lot of stock in rituals. There's no kneeling at his feet. There's no subbie running around naked. There's no asking for permission to enter a room or to use the bathroom or to speak. I was remembering we had one ritual -- way back 10 years ago -- and that was when we went to a play party -- He would put his cover (hat) on and then buckle my collar around my neck. It was a ritual -- a time of putting us both in the mind set. Now we don't go to play parties and he doesn't wear his cover and my neck never wears his collar..
The other day I wondered if I missed the rituals -- they have always been so much of my BDSM life. It got me thinking about all the routines around here (I love routines!) Which then got me wondering what the difference is between ritual and routine...... so I googled it. (google is my friend)
The difference between a routine and a ritual is not necessarily the action, but the attitude behind the action.
Then I started taking all the routines and seeing them a little differently...
(for example)
Most evenings I sit at Sir Steve's feet and massage his dry feet with moisturizing cream
Every night I go into the bedroom first and turn down the bed covers and plump Sir Steve's pillows
These actions remind me how much pleasure I get out of serving him ...... even in the most mundane daily tasks.......
The biggest difference between these rituals and the old ones....... these rituals fit in to our vanilla/normal life with ease. They feel natural....... not forced. They are not a 'game' but an act of love and submission.
Life is good when the 'fantasy' becomes an easy reality.
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Interesting definition Morningstar. I love your routines, the seemingly small acts aren't really that small. What wonderful acts of service:)
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Roz