It's Official

We are nuts !!!  

Saturday night we had been invited to a play party in a city about an hour away from us.  It was a potluck and I had made Bavarian meatballs - and we had agreed to drive a friend.

At one point - I asked W if we were still going to go............... it looked nasty out - but I think we both kept believing the snow would stop.  

Anyway by 4:30 with our friend tucked into the back seat - we decided to see how bad the roads really were...............

They were bad - but once we were on the highway - we just keep pooping along - praying we made it safe and sound.

And we did - god it was good to arrive in one piece.  Poor W was just a tad stressed from the conditions.. 

It was interesting for me - usually when I go somewhere where I don't know 90% of the folks - I get REAL quiet and withdraw - become a wall flower and curl up in a corner somewhere.  That didn't happen on Saturday............ I actually mingled and  talked to folks.

The potluck supper was yummy and my bavarian meatballs were a hit.

After supper W took me downstairs to the dungeon for a long overdue play time.  They had the most amazing spanking bench!!  Usually I am not a big fan of benches - hell usually I won't go anywhere near them!!  But this one looked 'comfy' - or as comfy as any spanking bench can be.  

We had fun - played hard and long and two toys actually fell apart - not because of me per say - but more from over use!  do ya think we have been playing too long??!!  

Ah well the evening ended and though we had the choice to stay over W said we would try the roads - surely by now they would have been plowed............... and it had stopped snowing.

The roads could have been a whole lot better - and twice we got stuck behind snow plows  - which was perfectly ok with me - safest place to be in my humble opinion - but slow............... oh my god it was slow !!!  A forty minute drive took us an hour and a half..... but we were home safe and sound


Now we are getting ready for our Kinky New Year's Day Open House - how I wish you were all close enough to come and raise a glass with us................. 

A Sunday Morning Chuckle.

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians;
during a recent appearance at Ceasers in Windsor :

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada ..

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number, You may live in Canada .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend, You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada .

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
but leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- you're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction, You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

Peek-a-boo

sooooooooooooo - have you been wondering where I have gotten to????

We arrived (as you know) safely on Wednesday.  

Thursday it snowed and snowed and snowed some more.  W kept reminding me that I said "it doesn't snow in Kingston" (le sigh) W and I shoveled and shoveled and shoveled some more.

Yesterday the sun came out (briefly) and we went shopping.  I was lucky enough to get my hair cut and I found 2 winter coats for less than the price of one winter coat!!  One is red - and the other one is black with fur trim.  Best part - I love them !!  Then we went to pick up some groceries and to the dollar store to pick up "stuff" for our New Year's Day open house (Yes we are still having our traditional Open House)  Then I took W out for his birthday dinner.

This morning I made Bavarian meatballs to take to a potluck dinner we are going to tonight.  AND .............

joy oh joy - it's snowing again.  AND..................

joy oh joy !!  I have no voice............... not squeak - not a peep - nothing !!!  W is enjoying a lot of peace and quiet. 

I am hoping some vocal capabilities are back by this evening - otherwise I'll be the quiet subbie tied to the whipping post not making a sound - welllllllllllllll maybe squeaking a bit ................ 

 

Very Special Day

It truly is a very special day today................... 

Today is W's birthday..................



now what wickedness can i get up to to celebrate it???!!!

The BIG Adventure

Sometimes I put lil miss ashes through total torture and humiliation.  This Christmas was no different...............

 not only did she have to endure reindeer antlers - I put a fluffy red and white collar with bells around her neck.  

When the Christmas celebrations were over I spared her any more humiliation and removed the collar.  After a day of ringing bells and kids and loads of people and noise - missy collapsed exhausted.......................

Yesterday morning I started talking up the BIG adventure we were gonna have...... she kept giving me skeptical looks - and would lift her tail and stalk off in the opposite direction............ ya see - my being in Kingston for almost 10 days was just a wee bit too long to leave her alone.  So - W and I figured the best plan was to bring her up to Kingston with me.  

W found a neat very short leash that attaches to a seat belt which would allow her to curl up - safely - on the back seat and travel the 3 hour trip out of the cat carrier (which missy HATES!!) Mind you - she hates the car period.  Now a number of people convinced me she only hated the car because the only time she goes in the car is when she goes to the vet.......... and she usually howls for the entire 10 minute drive there and back.

So yesterday morning once the cars were both loaded up and we were ready to go......... I picked up missy and her favourite blanket and off we went to the car.  I fastened her in to her seat belt contraption and we headed off.  The minute I had closed the car door she started to howl................. and howl .................. and howl.  W had said that once I got going on the highway - the soothing motion of the car would settle her down - just like a baby.  

Oh yeah????? I don't think so.............. 

She howled and hissed the entire way to Kingston.  I kept thinking surely she will run out of steam - OR voice!!  but oh no - 3 full hours of howling.  By the time I pulled into the driveway up here I was ready to kill her - OR - slit my own wrists.

And then - for some stupid reason - I figured once she was in the house she would be happy and content and go exploring.  Wrong again!!  ( I was batting a thousand) she disappeared and didn't reappear for a good hour.  Then it was to ignore me and slink through the house - almost entirely on her belly - growling low in her throat.

By 8:00 p.m. last night she had finally settled down.  Where you ask??? On the foot rest of W's recliner.  W sat with his legs all squeezed to one side so lil miss ashes could be comfy................ (shaking head) She won't have anything to do with me and my wonderful ideas of BIG adventures - but has decided if anyone can be trusted it's W!!!

(Oh joy oh joy - in 10 days I get to do the 3 hour torture ride all over again - I guess missy is getting even for Christmas bells and antlers - pay back IS a bitch)

Christmas goodies

A few days back I posted about my baking spree for Christmas - AND - I promised you all pictures of my baking. 

I didn't forget about the pictures - I just hadn't taken any - everything was packed away - and truthfully I just didn't feel like pulling everything out to photograph it.

So Monday - before the hordes devoured it all I pulled out the camera and took some pics.....

Top center of the plate (pink icing - that should have been red - le sigh) - those are strawberry squares... pastry on the bottom with a layer of strawberry jam then white cake with icing on top.

To the right of them are soft ginger snaps .........

 bottom center - with the white icing - are my mom's butterscotch squares... 

and in between the butterscotch squares and the strawberry squares are "turtle cookies" so named cause they are supposed to be an imitation of the turtle chocolates.  They are chocolate chip cookies with a thumb print center filled with melted caramels and topped with drizzled chocolate.

At the top of this plate is traditional Scottish shortbread - and underneath is toffee cookies - basically brown sugar and butter boiled and poured over soda crackers - popped in the oven for a few minutes then topped with melted chocolate (sounds questionable - but it was a HUGE hit ).


AND the best part  of all this baking...........................................

Next year I won't have to use my small hand mixer  - the poor old thing is down to only 2 speeds and over heats at the drop of a hat.............. nope ...next year I will be using this fancy dancy mixer...................

 AND its red!!!  do you see that ??? it's red !!!  There were apparently a whole mess of emails between daughters and W ....they worked it out and the whole family gave me this beautiful RED mixer !!

Christmas miracles really do happen ...............

Dec 25th

No Norman Rockwell

Today is our day to celebrate Christmas.  In just a few hours youngest daughter, her husband and the 3 grandkids will tumble through the door - eldest will follow (in a dignified way) ex-husband will arrive with his girlfriend. This is the last family Christmas celebration in this house.  The last .......... it feels funny to say the last.......... but I am a realist if nothing else.


In a couple of hours the turkey will go in.......... the veggies will be prepared ... the potatoes peeled - the table set.

I am smart enough - this year - to lower my standards.  No Norman Rockwell type dinner............. no - ours will be more real ........... with laughter and noise and probably some tears......... and a whole lot of love.  Stuff real memories are made of.......... and if I have any say in the matter - we will make some memories today - to last a lifetime.

 

Sunday Sentiments

I kinda figured THIS close to Christmas and some of you might be getting just a little stressed - strung out and over-wrought

Soooooooooooooooooo here's some giggles to help lighten the load..........

 

Count down begins

Two days to go till Christmas Eve - when we celebrate our family Christmas..... two days crunch time.

W arrived safe and sound yesterday

Today I am gonna have a massive HUGE bake-a-thon and get all my Christmas baking done in one day (am I nuts??) I really didn't have the energy or enthusiasm to do it before - well other than all those cinnamon loaves I made.  (AND would you believe I have already given half of them away as gifts!!) I promise to post pictures of MY Christmas cookies - instead of someone else's tomorrow !!

Tomorrow is designated clean the house day - make the stuffing and do the laundry day......cause once Monday is over - W wants to start thinking about heading back to Kingston................ so I do have to have everything organised.  AND because I am still trying to sell this place - AND someone might want to see it over the holidays - I have to leave it neat and tidy and clean................... 

Yup the count down really does begin



 

 

Last day

Well today is the last day of school - then two weeks of Christmas break!!  I have noticed that the closer we get to the holiday - the more stupid people become.  (I like to think I am not included in this statistic - someone has to keep their wits about them right??)

My staff  - well their brains - have all gone on holiday - happened between Monday and Tuesday.  The stupidity I am seeing from them boggles my mind.  Example - one girl had to fill in an absence form - it asked for the number of MINUTES she worked a day.  She put 4 in the space.  I took it back to her and pointed out it said MINUTES and she doesn't work 4 minutes a day - OR if she does - she is being grossly overpaid !!  She giggled and said "oh my" (literally that is all she said) the next day the form was back on my desk.  This time it said 4.4 ........ I took it back to her and she literally said she had no idea how to do the math.  I looked at her like one of us was losing their mind.  I said there are 60 minutes in an hour right??? you work 4 hours a day  ............so 60 x 4 = ??? and she said I just don't understand!!  I sent the form to the Board as is...... let them refuse her time off........ shrug

Then yesterday at the end of the day I was missing a little girl.  Turned out she was on the bus.  She was supposed to be with me.  I stopped the buses and had her removed.  Then I phoned her mother.  The conversation went like this:

ME:  I just took L off the bus
MOM:  Why??!!!  
ME:  because she is supposed to be with me today.
MOM:  NO SHE'S NOT - SHE ALWAYS COMES HOME ON FRIDAY!! (yelling at me)
ME:  It's Thursday today.

Today I am dressing for the occasion - I am going in with as much Christmas spirit as I can dredge up.  I am hoping this way I won't kill anyone.............. 

Well that's not exactly what I am wearing......... yes to the Santa hat... yes to the Santa coat - NO to the corset and stockings and exposed breasts.  I am gonna smile a lot and say a whole lot of "ho ho ho's" and hope and pray the day passes smoothly and quickly.  

Then I am gonna come home and bake and clean and get ready ........... W arrives either today or tomorrow (depends on the storm they are forecasting - a tempest in a teapot I am thinking ) ........  Monday we are gonna celebrate with the family and Tuesday or Wednesday W and I are gonna head off to Kingston - for the rest of the holidays. 

I just need to get through this Last Day.   

A Christmas Chuckle

A Christmas Pin up

W introduced me to Bettie Page many years ago............ So to try and put W in the Christmas spirit - His favourite Pin Up model..............

a little Christmas smile

It's snowing!!!

It snowed all day yesterday.

It is supposed to snow again today.

We won't talk about the rain that is supposed to show up on Thursday (oh how will Santa ever get here if it is a green Christmas??!!)

And because it snowed..... I remembered my "snowflake quiz" from Christmas past......... 

So folks I pose to you this question........... 

Look closely at this snowflake - what does it depict???

 

Sunday Sentiments

This has been going round the net for a while - more so since Friday - thought I would share it with anyone who has missed it..................

Community

I just finished posting a rather long comment on a post on Fetlife.  The original post was "ranting" about the cliques and dramas and politics that is happening in Kingston.  

My original reaction to the post was "so what else is new?!"  Personally I think that this happens in any and all "communities".  

BUT then I thought of the old adage - if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem (or something like that - I tend to use literary license alot - if you haven't noticed) 

So this morning - I set about writing down a list of things / problems that I have seen in Kingston...... I didn't offer any solutions - because dammit - I am a newbie - and am not sure I have earned enough "stripes" to be telling the old timers what they are doing wrong and how to fix it............

I think the first thing that needs to be done in ANY community - is to identify goals the community as a whole want - NOT goals the self proclaimed leader thinks should be goals.  I also think that the communities need to be a whole lot warmer and more welcoming.  I used my first munch as an example - how ostracized I felt - and how when finally someone (at the second or third munch I went to ) actually sat down and talked to me - it changed my opinion of the group as a whole.  (Now it doesn't help that that one person who went out of their way to talk to me - became shunned by the group and went off and started their own munch/group) 

And that seems to be Kingston's (and other cities as well ) answer to disagreements.  "I am going to take my bat and ball and go play elsewhere".  So you land up with splinter groups that have axes to grind against a multitude of other groups. 

THAT IS NOT COMMUNITY 

Nor is it healthy.

As long as the BDSM communities are splintered highly political groups there will never be enough "community" to actually accomplish anything of substance.  and more's the pity.

I finished off my "ranting comment" on Fetlife by saying.......... be careful - cause someone might just come along and start another group ......... BDSM for folks who just want to have fun.............. 

I am so tired of the politics - of the mentality of I am better than you ....... I know more than you ........ I am King of the Hill ......... doesn't anyone want to just have fun anymore???!!!  

 

Positive thoughts

Since Monday I have been trying - really trying - to keep my thoughts positive  - to not look at the calendar and watch Jan 18th creep slowly towards me... 

But at night - at 3 in the morning when the world is asleep - the monsters who live under the bed come out and whisper in my ear........... 

 AND - the positive thoughts disappear in a puff of smoke..................

so if I don't post much in the next few weeks - be patient with me please..........I just need to cope the best I can right now

Just a consult

Yesterday I had that appointment with the specialist that had been screwed up last week............. it was a consult - only a consult - the beginning of the process..........

W said he was coming down (again). I said (again) "it is silly for you to drive down I am only taking lunch off work - going in for at most a 15 minute appointment - to schedule tests and more tests.  IF something goes wrong this time I promise you can beat me black and blue - honest - I don't need you here for a consult.  I WILL need you for the biopsy."  So W stayed home and I booked lunch off work.

At 10:45 I presented myself (as ordered) for the 11:15 appointment.  I had all the paperwork that had been missing last week in my grubby lil hand.  Everyone remembered me.  I was ushered into the waiting room.  Where I waited and waited and waited some more.  (thankfully they had Mr. Bean running on the television set which - I admit - did distract me for all of 5 minutes) 

By 11:45 I was getting fidgety.  By 12:00 they called my name.  Now you have to know (in case you missed this 5 years ago) I did not like the doctor - she bloody scared me.  She was cold and didn't talk and HURT me.  When she came in the room my heart stopped and my stomach immediately went into spasms.  BUT this time she smiled at me - actually smiled!  She talked about the spotting I had experienced.  She talked (a little bit) about vaginal atrophy and her disapproval of estrogen treatments.  Then she said "let' s take a look". 

So I wiggled down the bed - till my ass was virtually hanging off the bed - dontcha hate that feeling of totally exposure??!!  The speculum was inserted with some discomfort - and she said soothing things (shock surprise!!) and was telling me what she could see... then something she said made me ask "Are you doing the biopsy NOW???!!"  and she answered "why yes - but it doesn't mean you have cancer - or I think you have cancer" .......... and right about then I felt it............... the most extreme excruciating pain you will ever feel in your whole entire life.............  

It is like some red hot poker is setting your insides on fire............ explosions went off in my head - bright colours with black - deepest darkest black surrounding it....... I was puffing I could hear myself puffing - trying to get air - and I heard the doctor saying we are going to count - it is only going to take till 10 ...... and I heard her counting and telling me to breath - and she got to 5 and I am thinking only 5 more - when she said "it's done.  " and stood up.

The pain didn't stop though - one would hope it would stop - but it doesn't.  It centralizes........... and builds ....... till you feel like you are gonna throw up or pass out.  I asked if I could sit up ........ the doctor said yes if you think you can.  I sat up.... It was better than lying there exposed.  It still hurt......... building and exploding and hurting.

She said "you definitely have vaginal atrophy.  Go and make an appointment with my nurse for a month from now.  I will have the biopsy results by then."  Then she told me no work for the rest of the day and today.  And left.

I made the appointment hanging onto the counter for dear life.  The nurse told me to take 2 extra strength tylenol every four hours..... smiled and gave me the appointment for a month from now.  (Part of me wondered if they were all smiling at me cause I had caused such a 'shit storm' last week when they lost my paper work - but it was probably my imagination spurred on  by the pain.)

Then I managed to find the elevators and make my way to my car.  I sat in the car and wondered how in god's name I was supposed to drive myself home.  You have no idea how much pain I was in......... my head was spinning and I kept thinking I was gonna throw up.  

Half way home the tears came - and I cried.  I felt so damn alone - and knew W was gonna "beat me black and blue" for not letting him come to me.  BUT honestly who knew she was gonna do a damn biopsy??!!  (and without any form of freezing or anesthetic I might add) 

I got home and made my way inside.  I stripped off my clothes...... I wanted to throw them out..... I felt violated in a weird sort of way.  It's really hard to put into words.....but the best way I can find is "violated" ............. I was bleeding and hurting and yeah worried too........... in all the tissue she scraped and vacuumed out of my uterus were there cancer cells??? were there abnormal cells - again???

I spoke with W briefly - mostly crying - snotty nosed and tear stained face - so sexy .......... then I contacted the school and told them I wouldn't be in before Wednesday.... then I took a handful of tyenol and lay down on the sofa - pulling my knees up to my chest - protecting my sore insides - crying softly as I fell into a painful troubled sleep.

Today I am still bleeding (to be expected) and it still hurts a little bit.  I am - I think - glad I didn't know she was gonna do the biopsy right then and there in the middle of "just a consult"...........I do know I am glad she seemed so much more human this time....... 

Now I get to wait till the 18th of January for the results......... vaginal atrophy ........OR............................

Weekend at home...

Between blowing my nose and coughing up a lung all weekend - 

I managed to finish my Christmas shopping, buy baking supplies, buy Christmas cards, do 3 loads of laundry, make 2 loaves of yummy cheese bread and 3 loaves of yummier cinnamon bread (I ran out of flour or I would have made at least 3 more loaves - they make great gifts!!) wrote 90% of my Christmas cards.........AND best of all................ 

wait - wait !!  I probably have never told you this.......... 

I love the Lethal Weapon movies - yeah yeah I know - but it is my secret vice.  I LOVE them !!!

Well Sunday I watched a Lethal Weapon Marathon - from 10:30 am until 9:00 p.m !!  I thought I had won the lottery !!!

And that was my weekend at home..........

Sunday Sentiments

And now it's Saturday....

First - before I do anything else - I have to thank you all for your comments on yesterday's blog.  They all helped - they really did !!

My staff Christmas party was last evening - and honestly I just didn't feel much like partying........... I woke yesterday morning with a sore throat that slowly - as the day progressed - brought with it a sinus headache and achy bones.  (a hot bath and my pjs looked more welcoming than going out to party ) 

Then when I ran home for a quick lunch - there was a phone message.  The doctor's office that had screwed up on Wednesday had called.  They are going to fit me in on Monday morning !!!  I do NOT have to wait another month.  

I went to the party and managed to sit with the 4 women I thoroughly enjoy working with.......... which went a long way to improving the mood of the party for me.  At one point I was standing up involved in a silly party game my "social committee" planned.  I looked up to see one of the 4 women standing at the head of the table getting everyone's attention.  She presented me with a Christmas card.  When I opened it I thought I was going to cry - inside they had placed money and a note that said "a little something to go towards another safe trip "home".  I was speechless.  (which is rare ) I barely choked out a thank you.  (gonna have to write some thank you notes for sure this weekend!!)  

And so here it is Saturday morning - and I am sniffling and sneezing and feeling like crap - but with a softness inside.  A warm glow that maybe (just maybe) everything will be ok...........

What a difference a day makes !!!

On growing older

Over the last couple of years I have noticed a slowing / drop of interest in sex.  I LOVE sex - have ever since I hit my 40's but suddenly the love ........ interest...... has started waning - until ............. there is none.

I don't know for sure when it happened -  I just know I have it now.  AND when we try .......... it hurts.  And I bleed afterwards.  Now I like (used to like) rough sex.  It used to turn me on - to be grabbed by the hair and bent over the counter - or the table - or whatever and feel W forceably enter me - YUM!!  And when all was said and done - my juices would be running down my legs puddling on the floor.

Somewhere along the way - it stopped........ the puddling........ the wetness.  It just stopped.  WTF???!!

Back in October when I was bleeding after sex I didn't think much of it....... cause ya know it happens sometimes.  BUT the next time W was more gentle - slower and more cautious and still I bled afterwards.

I know bleeding at my age is NOT a good thing.  I called my doctor.  She saw me - she listened to my stumbling blushing description of what was going wrong.  I was scared that the "abnormal cells" that had gathered in my uterus some 5 years ago were back.  I was ............... AM............. scared.

She talked about other problems that could cause the irritation she was seeing (when she peered inside me) and she tested for 3 of those problems.  The tests came back negative.  That quickly whittled the problem down to two causes - the abnormal cells again - or something called vaginal atrophy. 

She gave me a prescription for estrogen - not in pill form - but suppository form.  I balked.  Hell I went through menopause and all the joys it brings - without taking one damn pill for HRT.  and now??!!  Now I have to take estrogen??!! not just take it - but put it right up inside me - against the cervix - melting close to the uterus that had those "abnormal cells".  The more I thought about it the more scared I became.

I called her office back.  Could I please have a referral to go back to the doc that treated the abnormal cells.  Yes I wanted a second opinion.

Wednesday I was scheduled to see that doctor.  I won't go into the massive screw up and incompetency that prevented me from seeing that doctor........... that resulted in my having to wait another month - till Jan 8th !!!  

In my research into "abnormal cells" and vaginal atrophy - the one common theme I am finding is that women do NOT talk about "post menopausal" problems.  What the hell is wrong with us??!!

Men can't get it up - they run to the doctor for the magic blue pills.  We??? we hide in our minds and pretend we can live with this new stage in our lives.  AND each one of us who gets to this point in post menopause - we don't talk about it....... so each and everyone of us feels as though we are the first and only one to suffer from whatever this is........

I always thought once I had paid my dues and survived menopause - life became more care free ........... and sexy .......... and all my dreams/fantasies could come true.  WRONG! so very wrong.  

In frustration on Wednesday night I told W I was gonna fill the damn prescription for the estrogen.  I was gonna use it and see if all my problems disappeared.  On Thursday I came to my senses.  Am I honestly ready to use a drug that is known to cause cancer ........... especially since I was so close to that only 5 years ago???  and you should know once I start using it...... from what I understand...... I don't stop using it..... oh I can cut back on how often I use it - from 3 times a week to maybe once a week..... but unlike the lil blue pill - I don't use it just when I want to have sex..... nope doesn't work like that.   

In the light of day I realized I would rather wait another month and see the doctor ........ and get a second opinion.   I want to be damn sure I have this vaginal atrophy and not "abnormal cells" before I start using chemicals in my body. 

Growing old is like crossing a mine field - you never bloody well know when something will silently go click - and you will be left standing like a deer caught in the headlights wondering what to do next.............   

Truth in advertising...........

 YES Virginia - there is truth in some advertising !!!




Have any of you seen the ad on television for this meatloaf pan??

Well I saw it and lusted after it...... I was told it wasn't very good - not very sturdy - but still I wanted it.  Two weeks ago when I was up in Kingston W found it in a shop we were in and bought it for me.

It was more than sturdy - better then the meatloaf pan I have.  It also came with a cookbook.

So last night I decided to try it out.  The recipe I picked was "bacon cheeseburger meatloaf"

It took me about 5 minutes to throw it together ........... and pop it in the oven.  One hour later it was ready - the whole house smelled so good - my mouth was watering.  AND it popped out of the pan as easy as pie -- and didn't fall apart !!

Now the recipe clearly stated to leave the meatloaf cooling for 15 minutes - because the cheese inside would leak out - I waited maybe 5 minutes - then couldn't wait anymore......... 

Despite the cheese leaking out - it was the best meatloaf I have had in LONG time - it might even be better than my mother's ............... 

For all the Dog lovers

This was just too good not to share !!!

December 1st

About 10 or 11 years ago I started a Christmas tradition.  I gave my youngest daughter a Saturday off to go Christmas shopping with her husband - and I would take my baby grandson for the day.  Back in those days - not much happened except I babysat and they shopped.

As the years have gone by - the one grandson has been joined by his 2 brothers.  We have gone from just babysitting to full fledged decorating granny's house and baking.  My daughter still gets one day to do as she pleases (which has always been Christmas shopping).  It has been a challenge each year to juggle all the responsibilities of decorating / baking / crafting / changing diapers / nap times and by the end of each special Christmas Saturday - granny was left feeling like she had been run over by a freight train.............. and I have to add here - that was with help from W.  

This year I was on my own.  And it went so well !!!!  The kids are older - even the "baby" is grown up (at the ripe old age of 3) ......... and the extra pair of hands wasn't needed as much.  Apparently the nearly 12 year old was lifted out of a blue mood during the week at the prospect of spending Saturday with granny and the 6 year old walked into his Mom's shower at 8 on Saturday and announced it was taking WAY too long to get ready to go to granny's !!!

We spent the day making those hand print ornaments for Mom and Dad...... 

baking cookies........ decorating cookies (more like eating as much of the candy as possible) hanging the ornaments on the tree (memo to self - gotta go and re-align not only the ornaments but the tree !!)  rough housing and watching movies and just having a great time together !!! 

Miss Ashes - who does NOT like children and NOISE at all (she reminds me of the Grinch - saying "the Noise the noise the noise" !!!) - plotted her escape for most of the day....................

  BUT when all was said and done.......... and when the clock struck dinner time and the kids were bundled into the car for the trip back out to the Island - even the mess and chaos left behind did nothing to damper my spirits.  THIS is what makes Christmas special - traditions that last a lifetime.

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though I think Miss Ashes may just disagree with me.......... she curled up under the tree as the door slammed shut - and slept the night away.................... 

Sunday Sentiments

Tradition

 

For those of you who have read here for any length of time - you know that Christmas is a BIG deal for me.  And you know that every year the grandkids come and spend a day with "granny" and we decorate the house - decorate cookies - do crafts.

This year is no different.  The kids are arriving today.............. batten down the hatches.  Most years W is here with me to lend a helping hand (and keep me sane) but not this year.  I wonder what will happen next year (le sigh) no grandkids out on the island - oh well I'll worry about next year - next year !!!

Getting back to this year - do you remember the craft I showcased here - the christmas ball with the kid's hand print on it????   No ?? then click HERE.

I have 3 red balls and paint and markers and we are gonna make them for Mommy and Daddy :)  and decorate gingerbread boys - and of course decorate the house.  Expect lots of pics tomorrow..... 

And over the next few days I will be decorating The Journey for the holidays too.........I do love traditions!!

Mixing together.............

Way back on LOL day - Hermione asked in the comment section: "I'm looking forward to finding out how your life will change once you are living D/s 24/7 with Warren. Maybe you can share more thoughts on that, and how you are preparing for it."

I haven't been ignoring that comment - I have just been waiting for a good time to answer it........... and yes......... time to think over my answer.

W and I aren't kids anymore  - we are both set in our ways  - this coming together will involve more than melding furniture from two homes into OUR home.

I am an OCD neat freak.  W is more laid back - and a "collector" 

I dislike shopping.  W loves it.

I like planning and scheduling.  W is more a "go with the flow" sort of guy.

I hate fights - even fighting for myself.  W loves a good fight (mostly with governments and big business)

I like peace and quiet.  W has to have noise - radio or television going at all times.

I go to bed early.  W is a night owl.

I don't much like frozen food/meals.  W virtually lives on them.

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I think the first step in our coming together is being very aware of our differences.  And believing that we can and will find compromises.  

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One of the first steps we have taken is giving me "my" space.  My quiet room......... upstairs where - when things overwhelm me - I can escape to find my center and my quiet space.

W has the lower level (I refuse!!  to call it the basement cause it is only 6 steps down from the main level and is a beautifully finished area - for his trains  - his computer stuff, car stuff - and his BIG television.  I am hoping we can get two sofas squeezed into this area so that we can watch television together in the "family room", and not always be messing up the living room (which will help my OCD neat freak side)

As for meals - I am so looking forward to having a workable kitchen - where I can cook our meals from scratch and try and get us both on a healthier road........ even making our own bread.

As for D/s 24/7 -  I think after 14 years of chasing the illusive fantasy - we have come full circle and realize that D/s is loving and caring for each other..... that BDSM is a fill in the gap sort of thing. (here's hoping there are lots of gaps to fill in.  There are certainly enough munches/sloshes and events going on to keep BDSM in the forefront of our lives) 

And that's all I have for now Hermione.  I am sure when I move up to Kingston permanently there will be more blog entries on the trials and tribulations of melding two old codgers.