Play Time

The stars finally aligned this weekend -- and despite my 'sexy' track pants on Friday night we played (hard) on Saturday night.

It started with his hands (dear god I love his hands!) and moved to the crop and the paddle and the quirt -- and knives of course ......

And it hurt !
And I bitched and 'whimpered' and wiggled
I rolled over and Sir Steve simply gave me the 'look' and wiggled a finger and I rolled back over....... 

"Ow" I said.....over and over -- ow ow ow -- fuck ow -- shit ow and there was no pity  
At one point though Sir Steve did lean down and whispered in my ear just after one of my 'ows'  "I do believe you've said that"........ to which the bratty side of me answered "And I'll say it again cause I can! "

Wrong answer !!

O U C H 

A Sadist always gets the last word (grinning)

 

The Exorcism

It has been over a year since Sir Steve's ex moved out -- a YEAR!  And as you know (if you read here semi regularly) I started boxing up some of her stuff.  

But over the weekend I told Sir Steve I couldn't do it anymore..... If he wanted me living with him then he had to (at least) help me clean out her crap.... after all I don't know what is her's and what is his!!  I thought I did but screwed up when I packed the coffee mugs..... thinking all the cat ones were her's..... WRONG!

So yesterday morning Sir Steve wasn't working so he rolled up his sleeves and cleaned out a cupboard in the bedroom for my clothes -- moved to the bathroom and cleaned out the cupboard in there of expired meds, her towels, her bubble bath and soaps etc.  Then he moved into the spare bedroom and worked in there.  The latest count is 9 boxes of her shit.

I have 2 speeds - like my father - fast and fastest.  I left Sir Steve cleaning and purging and ran off to the grocery store to pick up staples.  On my way I decided to stop by my apartment and pick up my winter clothes.  I was on fastest speed..... I was preoccupied and distracted.... I wasn't focused.  There is a small step from the city sidewalk to the pathway to my lil home.  I was at my car loading up the winter clothes and turned to go back for something I had forgotten (I don't even remember what it was I had forgotten) The next thing I knew I saw the cement sidewalk coming up to greet me.  I had caught my toe on the lil step and went splat on my face! 

The one OW that broke through the fog was my left wrist....... I stood up gingerly - checking to make sure everything was still working -- looked down at my wrist - my precious fitbit took the brunt of the fall .................... 

And I cried.  My precious fitbit!! My knee was scraped and bleeding.  My wrist felt like it should have had bones sticking out (it didn't -- and as it turns out is only bruised) my right hand was scraped and bleeding.  I climbed into my car and drove home to Sir Steve.  I sounded like a 4 year old when he came to me at the back door.

"I fell"  (cue tears)

He got me into the bathroom and did a check from head to toe..... he cleaned up and bandaged my hand and knee.   AND he tried lecturing me (talking quietly?!) to me about slowing down.

Then  I got my act together and limped off to the grocery store and picked up the staples and came home.  

By last night my body felt like it had been hit by a truck.  BUT nothing is broken except for my fitbit -- and a replacement has already been ordered.

Today more cleaning and purging ....... and soon - much sooner than I expected - this home will be ready for me to feel at home -- no more living in some woman's shadow.  Just living under the protective arm of my Sir Steve.... and that is a very good thing!

Lesson Learned

I have not been able to go to the gym for a full week -- because of the broken toe and the fact I cannot get a shoe on the foot.

BUT I have to exercise -- otherwise I have trouble eating.. talk about a catch 22 ...... 

So I have been walking every day -- in sandals -- and not even walking - more strolling BUT at least it was something........ 

The only problem was -- because I was walking sorta tilted to the side - to take the weight off the toe -- I developed a blister on the right side of the sole of my foot........ a big blister !!  On Thursday it broke and I couldn't decide what hurt more - the blister or the toe.

Yesterday the swelling in the toe seemed to be down a bit -- so I decided to try putting a sock on -- and then the running shoe.  I loosened the laces completely and managed to get my foot in the shoe.  I didn't lace it / tie it tight -- and set off for my walk.

At first it hurt a lot -- but the blister didn't hurt so I shifted the weight and everything felt good.  I walked for just over 2 miles...... which wasn't very far considering what I normally do...... but I thought I wouldn't push it............ aren't I good?? 

When I got home I could hardly get the shoe off -- the pain was awful.  I sat and watched as the poor lil toe swelled up.  So I was back to icing it and keeping it elevated.

Somehow in my mind -  a broken toe didn't seem as serious as other bones -- but trust me I learned my lesson!!  A broken bone is a broken bone!  I just hope I haven't set my healing time back too much.

OUCH

Last Thursday -- when I wanted to go to the beach -- but was being very responsible and adult and didn't go because I had had too much sun / heat in the two days prior at the beach -- I managed to break my favourite ginger jar.


I was so angry with myself -- and I admit it -- was stamping my feet a little bit while I cleaned it up and walked to the kitchen to throw the broken bits out.  Then I went looking for something to put on the table to replace the ginger jar -- cause the ginger jar hid all sorts of little things that don't really belong in a living room -- and the stamping feet increased cause I couldn't find anything.......... 

Finally found a little wooden carved box -- and I grabbed it -- turned around -- and went to stamp my way out of the bedroom when I managed to slam my foot into the corner of the wall.  

I heard the bone go CRACK in my little toe.  
I felt the pain shoot right up my leg.
I looked down through pain fogged eyes and saw the toe at a funny angle.
I sat down and pushed the toe back into place.
Can I say OUCH??!!
I iced it 
I put witch hazel on it
I put arnica on it when toe started to turn black with bruising 
I took extra strength advil.

No I did not go to the doctor's office - or a clinic - or an emergency room -- it is a baby toe after all!!

Broken toe or not -- I spent 2 days at the Buskers Festival -- on Monday I tried to get my foot into a running shoe so I could go to the gym (can i say obsessed?!)  BUT the toe just wouldn't sqeeze into the running shoe and still allow me to walk -- so no gym.
I did go for a walk with sandals -- did 1/2 of the route and just about crawled home 

'Hands' suggested quietly that I sit and elevate the foot - ice it - and take care of it -- otherwise I might be off it even longer. (I HATE it when the 'Dom' is right!!)

Today is day 7 -- the swelling is down a wee bit -- I am only taking advil twice a day (instead of every 4 hours) -- I can walk barefoot - and hobble with sandals -- but still no running shoes -- and no gym. 

Next time I am not going to "adult" -- next time I am going to the beach.  You can't break your toe in the sand!
 

Finding my bits and pieces Again!

I am remembering why this "dating" thing - this "playing well with others" thing was hard many years ago............. and I guess in some ways I am running backwards while I am moving forwards............ 

The date I had on Friday was a play date - with dinner thrown in - and then more play.  

HARD PLAY 

Long Play

Fun play 

I trust him enough now - to really let go  -- to let my fairies come and coax me out to play......... to let go completely and totally.......... not an easy thing for me to do..... but i trust him that much.

When we went to the munch (dinner) I was quite truthfully as high as a kite.  Mini me said it was like I was a little drunk - I was in good form ........ another friend whispered in my ear "have you been playing this afternoon" .... so yeah I was that high on endorphins.

AND

it wasn't over ........ 

There was more play after we got home from the munch.

HARD PLAY

Long Play

Fun Play.

And in that moment - when the endorphins are coursing through my blood - and my mind is just mush ...... there are no warning bells - no common sense - no judgement - all my inhibitions are down ..............and sometimes I ask for ........... beg for........push my limits - test me - push push push!!

And when it's over - 
when all the hard play is done 
when all the long play comes to an end
when all the fun is over 

He leaves.

And I am left to ground myself........ to piece myself back together.  

It used to be that way - years and years ago........... and then I wasn't alone and it wasn't really a problem.  The day or two after  -- when I questioned myself - called myself names - put myself down ....... W was there to hold me and hug me and soothe me and help me put the pieces back together.....

AND yes I play THAT hard!

It's hard sometimes when you are alone - to find all those tiny pieces that got knocked about and dislodged - to find them and stick 'em back in........... 

hot baths and meditation and soothing music and even chocolate works - until it doesn't.  And the monsters inside are still walking all over my soul............. and I feel lost and confused.

AND I know - this IS what I want - I want to play nicely with others - lots and lots of others.......

AND I know I want to let go - I want to push my limits -- I want to embrace those monsters and defy them  -- I want - NO -- I NEED to play hard and long - I need to feel drained and marked and hurting when it is over.  

I NEED THAT !!


Cause whether I like to say the word or not.......... I am a masochist!
 

Better

I didn't think I was gonna post today.  I have been pretty deep inside my head since the test on Wednesday.  And to make matters worse my belly still hurt and my back hurt.  It felt like she bruised me - which I guess is possible.  But I couldn't get my head out of the blackness..............

Until this morning.  I came downstairs and W decided to whip my ass.  I cried (what else is new these days - le sigh) BUT the whipping brought my head out of the darkness - made me feel real again...... made me feel human again .. made me feel more than a uterus,

AND I called W an "SOB" and before he could punish me for swearing - I said "know what it stands for?? huh?? huh do ya??? It stands for 'sadistic old bugger' " and then we both laughed.  It felt wonderful..............

AND in case you think W might have taken it easy on me.......... proof positive it was a good whooping.............

 

How a Sadist says "Happy Valentine's Day"

the above was posted on Facebook by an Armenian friend.  Honestly I don't know anything about the "real" St Valentine - but this works for the blog I have in mind about Sadists and Valentine's Day................ (follow the bouncing ball here)

W and I had a Valentine's munch on Saturday evening with a play party immediately following said dinner.  I decided to please W and wear a dress - a red one in honour of the occasion.  Under the dress I had black thongs - black bra and black stockings and black knee high boots. 

I had completely and totally forgotten why I do NOT wear dresses in the winter!!  

In the time it took me to walk to the car I was frozen !!  The arctic winds were blowing up my dress and giving me a good case of - shall we say - " chapped lips"  

Dinner was nice - the conversation stimulating............. and then we all headed off to a near by home for the play party.  W had loaded all - and I do mean ALL - the toys for the great Valentine beat down. (or is that beat up??) Not long after arriving at the party W and I headed downstairs - we had been forewarned that there was gonna be a big crowd and if we wanted any quality play time we should get to it pretty damn quick.

I  was soon down to my thongs and bra and stockings on the cross - gritting my teeth - trying to find that happy place in my head - but instead only hearing the little voices saying "you agreed to WHAT??!"  (I wonder some times if we played with any regularity - more than once a month - would the beginnings of a public play be easier to absorb)  

But my Sadist (said lovingly and with great respect) cycled through the 'easy' toys first - the two tongued leather tawse - the canes (2 different ones I think) the circus whip - the dog whip - and then he reached for the NEW whip!  the one that raised welts through my JEANS the first time he tried it.  I literally held my breath!  And it hurt - and I finally had to cave and beg W to stop - well not stop - but change toys.  There were numerous other implements used - and welts raised (which I still sported on Sunday) and then W's voice - soft in my ear - I had to focus to hear/understand him - "Who loves you?" was the question.  "You do" was the answer.  "How do you know?" was the next question and as always the answer was "because you beat me".

I realized then and there - that's how a Sadist says "Happy Valentine's" with whips and floggers and canes and ouchies......... leaving me drained and lost in the fog of endorphins..........

SUPER DOM!!

I now have a glow in the dark SUPER Dom!!!  I do !  I do !!

Let me explain.............

Yesterday W had a heart test that involved injecting him with radioactive material - which of course makes him glow in the dark right?? Right!  

And then, after lunch, He decided to try out his new SUPER Dom skills.. so he sent me to fetch a couple of toys to play with........... being a good subbie (and only because I am a good subbie - nothing to do with eagerness - nope no way.. just good subbie) I ran walked upstairs and pulled out the toy bag and selected a flogger, a whip and a paddle.

Then W went to work on my poor lil ass.  His super skills were put to the test with first the flogger, then the whip.  W tried the paddle once or twice but it didn't appeal to him.  I remember repeatedly saying "fuck a duck" which gave me a fit of the giggles. Finally  Super Dom collapsed on the floor beside me -  and asked if the fairies were playing.  It had been so long since my fairies came to play - I was thrilled to tell him that yes indeed the fairies had arrived and were dancing around the little "fuck a duck" (cheeky grin)

I could most definitely get used to this retirement thing!!

Just a consult

Yesterday I had that appointment with the specialist that had been screwed up last week............. it was a consult - only a consult - the beginning of the process..........

W said he was coming down (again). I said (again) "it is silly for you to drive down I am only taking lunch off work - going in for at most a 15 minute appointment - to schedule tests and more tests.  IF something goes wrong this time I promise you can beat me black and blue - honest - I don't need you here for a consult.  I WILL need you for the biopsy."  So W stayed home and I booked lunch off work.

At 10:45 I presented myself (as ordered) for the 11:15 appointment.  I had all the paperwork that had been missing last week in my grubby lil hand.  Everyone remembered me.  I was ushered into the waiting room.  Where I waited and waited and waited some more.  (thankfully they had Mr. Bean running on the television set which - I admit - did distract me for all of 5 minutes) 

By 11:45 I was getting fidgety.  By 12:00 they called my name.  Now you have to know (in case you missed this 5 years ago) I did not like the doctor - she bloody scared me.  She was cold and didn't talk and HURT me.  When she came in the room my heart stopped and my stomach immediately went into spasms.  BUT this time she smiled at me - actually smiled!  She talked about the spotting I had experienced.  She talked (a little bit) about vaginal atrophy and her disapproval of estrogen treatments.  Then she said "let' s take a look". 

So I wiggled down the bed - till my ass was virtually hanging off the bed - dontcha hate that feeling of totally exposure??!!  The speculum was inserted with some discomfort - and she said soothing things (shock surprise!!) and was telling me what she could see... then something she said made me ask "Are you doing the biopsy NOW???!!"  and she answered "why yes - but it doesn't mean you have cancer - or I think you have cancer" .......... and right about then I felt it............... the most extreme excruciating pain you will ever feel in your whole entire life.............  

It is like some red hot poker is setting your insides on fire............ explosions went off in my head - bright colours with black - deepest darkest black surrounding it....... I was puffing I could hear myself puffing - trying to get air - and I heard the doctor saying we are going to count - it is only going to take till 10 ...... and I heard her counting and telling me to breath - and she got to 5 and I am thinking only 5 more - when she said "it's done.  " and stood up.

The pain didn't stop though - one would hope it would stop - but it doesn't.  It centralizes........... and builds ....... till you feel like you are gonna throw up or pass out.  I asked if I could sit up ........ the doctor said yes if you think you can.  I sat up.... It was better than lying there exposed.  It still hurt......... building and exploding and hurting.

She said "you definitely have vaginal atrophy.  Go and make an appointment with my nurse for a month from now.  I will have the biopsy results by then."  Then she told me no work for the rest of the day and today.  And left.

I made the appointment hanging onto the counter for dear life.  The nurse told me to take 2 extra strength tylenol every four hours..... smiled and gave me the appointment for a month from now.  (Part of me wondered if they were all smiling at me cause I had caused such a 'shit storm' last week when they lost my paper work - but it was probably my imagination spurred on  by the pain.)

Then I managed to find the elevators and make my way to my car.  I sat in the car and wondered how in god's name I was supposed to drive myself home.  You have no idea how much pain I was in......... my head was spinning and I kept thinking I was gonna throw up.  

Half way home the tears came - and I cried.  I felt so damn alone - and knew W was gonna "beat me black and blue" for not letting him come to me.  BUT honestly who knew she was gonna do a damn biopsy??!!  (and without any form of freezing or anesthetic I might add) 

I got home and made my way inside.  I stripped off my clothes...... I wanted to throw them out..... I felt violated in a weird sort of way.  It's really hard to put into words.....but the best way I can find is "violated" ............. I was bleeding and hurting and yeah worried too........... in all the tissue she scraped and vacuumed out of my uterus were there cancer cells??? were there abnormal cells - again???

I spoke with W briefly - mostly crying - snotty nosed and tear stained face - so sexy .......... then I contacted the school and told them I wouldn't be in before Wednesday.... then I took a handful of tyenol and lay down on the sofa - pulling my knees up to my chest - protecting my sore insides - crying softly as I fell into a painful troubled sleep.

Today I am still bleeding (to be expected) and it still hurts a little bit.  I am - I think - glad I didn't know she was gonna do the biopsy right then and there in the middle of "just a consult"...........I do know I am glad she seemed so much more human this time....... 

Now I get to wait till the 18th of January for the results......... vaginal atrophy ........OR............................

Where in the World???

We are off again (yeah yeah I know we are always "off) - but seriously we packed up and headed off yesterday into the great beyond................. 

Where is "waldo"????

  
 Trust me we are having GREAT fun !!

And I'll tell you all about it come Monday................

A good cuppa please

We are home - well truthfully we got home yesterday late afternoon.  It was a busy weekend - lots of running around.  I almost don't know where to start.... 

So I will start in the middle and work my way out to the edges over the next few days.  

Sunday night we were pooped - exhausted - from looking at homes and trying to remember areas / communities and all the assorted things one tries to remember when one is house hunting.

We had curled up in our motel for the evening and I figured we would watch some TV and fall asleep.  

BUT 

W had different ideas.  He had brought the cupping set we have.  He decided it would be fun to do some cupping.  I thought 'easy peasy play time.  I get to just lie here and W will attach cups and then take them off' .  It had been so long since we did it - I honestly had no memory of what it felt like.

Well it took the first placement to remind me.......... can I say WTF??!!!  By the time my ass was covered I was breathing deeply and feeling very light headed and floaty..........

in my addled brain I was trying to remember how they came off... but it seemed to me it was simple - just release the suction and they popped off.  So I settled back down to enjoying the burning pain.  

Oh yeah - I should add that this cupping was done on an ass that had been well beaten the night before - so well beaten that it bled.  

W played with the cups - tugging them - knocking them - pushing them together so they touched........ I remember moaning softly.  

Then W said he wanted to do my nipples. So he started to remove them.  Know what it feels like????  Like having a band-aid ripped ...... RIPPED ... off - only 10 times worse!!!  


Unfortunately my nipples couldn't take the pressure of cupping so W put one on my clit.... 

 Can I say OUCH??!!!!

Here's some pics of my ass once the cups were removed... if you look closely you will see a small pinpoint mark in the middle of each circle.............. 

That's because each cup has a rod with a point.... 

all I can say is - it was a LONG ride home in the car - each bump reminding me of the nice "cuppa" 


 
 

Adults Only please (edited for clarity)

ok this blog has been so vanilla recently I might have to take the "age advisory" off.  

BUT

just in the nick of time - before the vanilla started melting and dripping down the page... I found THIS this morning.........Trust me when I say it is NOT for the faint of heart. It is also NOT something I would recommend.  

BUT hey - if it floats your boat - go for it. 

Though it does leave me wondering what might happen in 5, 10, 15 years from now.  Breast tissue is so damn sensitive - 

oh ......... and you can all thank Kaya for this video...... she likes to make me spew my early morning coffee all over the computer screen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND W.......... just cause I posted that link does NOT mean - I repeat NOT MEAN - I want to try that ..........k??? 

Sign of a good weekend..

We had a fantastic weekend !!!!!!!!!! So much so that I think it will take 2 posts just to bring you all up to date !

BUT 

I have to tell you about Saturday first.  There was a private BDSM conference that just happened to be happening the same weekend - same city - same everything!!  I wrote and got permission from the wonderful folks organizing it for W and I to attend a workshop on caning.  It was something i wanted to learn more about.. cause (cheeky grin) then I could tell W how he was doing it ALL wrong.  ( i am such a good subbie )

I made a mental note of the time of the workshop - 1:00 - so we planned to arrive in the fair city by noon - grab a quick bite to eat - then head on to the workshop.  Plans - and all the things that can go wrong....... 


We got to the restaurant for our quick bite - at 12:10 - told the waitress we were in a massive huge hurry......... and managed to get to the conference with about 2 minutes to spare.


EXCEPT 


The one workshop we had signed up for was ............. at 3:30


Bad subbie........ bad bad subbie.

Fast forward 2 1/2 hours - (cause I will tell you all about that tomorrow) and there we were sitting front and center (so to speak) at the caning workshop.  The Instructor asked for a volunteer he would use later on in the course... and W nudged me (so hard I nearly fell off my chair) so I reluctantly raised my hand ( now if you believe i was reluctant you really DON'T know me very well )  And I got picked (colour me surprised - for real !!)


Fast forward again - about 30 minutes into the workshop........ and it is time for me to make my grand debut as a Demo dummy ......... (my expression !!)


I stripped down as far as I was comfortable - which really boils down to bra and panties.. 2 seconds on the table and I was minus the bra.  And then it started...... we had agreed I would say "stop" if it got too much - despite the fact my safe word is "stopmotherfucker" (not)


I had a nice lil warm up and was getting all relaxed and enjoying the experience tremendously - but wishing he would ramp it up a bit... the body was yelling MORE MORE MORE.  


The instructor leaned into me and whispered in my ear - "are you doing ok?" my answer "yup doing fine... you can ramp it up anytime now"........ his answer " oh yeah?? ok then".


And we were off and running so to speak.  There was some bantering back and forth between myself and the audience - and at one point I uttered a loud SHIT after a particularly hard strike.... and then a couple of times I mouthed "motherfucker" which elicited more than a few laughs........ 


BUT then it got serious........... and i got serious........ and wow........ what a ride!!!  The audience got dead quiet - sensing He and I weren't fooling around anymore - and at one point - after a seriously hard hit - i heard someone gasp.


Then He told me to count off the last 10 strokes....... the first few were easy enough........ "one Sir .. thank you Sir...... two Sir thank you Sir" and somewhere around 6 the words were harder and harder to get out.......... by 10 I am not sure if I said the "thank you Sir"...... and then it was over...... 


I sat up gingerly - a little lightheaded... and W was right there - waiting for the hand off.. i felt warm and fuzzy seeing W's face ............. 


And then I got up and moved off the table - that's when I knew I had some serious marks....... serious marks !!!  W ran off to get his camera (I didn't even think about the protocol of that............ BUT I wanted pictures and I wanted them NOW) 


Wanna see?? huh?? huh?? do you?? ok.. seeing as you asked (cheeky grin)

and that dear friends - is the "sign of a good weekend"

Sexual Turn ons - cautionary note.

A while back - after one of my sex toy reviews for EdenFantasys - the web site that offers every sex toy you can imagine and then some!!! I received an email from one of my readers asking me what I did to turn myself on.  Luckily I don't usually need anything to turn myself on - and no I don't watch porn or sensual videos.  They are just too explicit. 

Let me explain - 

I prefer using my imagination - which fits me just right.  BUT if the imagination is running a little low - then I will read a good sensual book (ok ok sometimes pornographic book) either in book form or on line.  

As  Elise Gower says "I think great erotica is like a fabulous dream.   You should be carried away from all your sensibilities and be open to new experiences."


Well the last time EdenFantasys contacted me - I decided to try something new - something other than another vibrator or dildo (besides I am still enjoying immensely the dildo I received last time).  So I selected one of their erotic books.  Hey - Edenfantasys is more than sex toys!!!


The book I selected is called "can't help the way that I feel" edited by LoriBryant-Woolridge.  It is a selection of erotic writings - with a twist.  A twist that is right up my alley.  There are a selection of stories at the end that are open ended... "please do continue" and they even leave blank pages should you want to jot down your ending.  


So two days ago I got the familiar twitching.... and disappeared upstairs to find sexie sadie and a vibrator.... settled down on the bed .. closed my eyes... and just let my "imagination take me away" ... 

Only it was a low imagination day...... and after a good long while I realized no matter how close I got - I wasn't gonna go over the edge..... The last thing I needed or wanted was to be left feeling frustrated all day.  


That's when I remembered the new book!


I snuggled back down on the bed and opened the book........... Let me share one small section that worked the magic....... 
"People kind of lose their minds when it comes to sex. The body and mind want to do so many creative things, but there are all these rules. 'Do not,' 'Thou shalt not' 'Restricted' 'Prohibited'   The only rule should be consent.  I just want to see what people will do in a space where it's okay to let their imaginations run wild"

I let the book slip from my hands and went back to the vibrator and sexie sadie..... my imagination was on over drive ....... I was just reaching this earth shattering orgasm when I twisted and heard the POP.  The pain drove up the left side of my body into my head and down my left leg to my toes.  I screamed - and it wasn't because of the orgasm!!  I had managed to pop out my knee. (again !! not the first time and probably won't be the last time)

Now I like pain - I especially like pain when I am orgasming ......... BUT that was not consentual pain.  AND it was worse than a cold bucket of water on my orgrasm!!!  UGH!!  

So now I am in a knee brace - swallowing anti-inflammatories every 4 hours  waiting for the swelling to come down.  Hopefully before this weekend - W and i have another play party to attend........ and i am owed at least one earth shattering orgasm!!! (no imagination prompting needed!!)

Saturday play time

After the lesson in needle corsets, and after a really good supper of barbeque steaks and potatoe salad ( I finally made my mother's potatoe salad to good reviews from W !!!  high praise considering he is a bit of a potatoe aficionado) we moved to the outside dungeon to have a little play time.

I had been bitching - yes bitching - about how cool it was up North ( a good 5 degrees lower than in town) and in my skimpy little blouse, bra and thong, I had goose bumps.  W promised I wouldn't be cold for long............... 

And how right he was!!

We used the St Andrew's cross pictured above.  For those of you unclear on how it works - per say - my wrist cuffs were clipped to the upper arms (one on each side) my feet were firmly planted on the 'step' my ankles are rarely fastened to anything because of my knee issues - and I do need - from time to time - to flex the knees even straighten the leg out completely (OH gee.......... innocent look .......... did I kick you??? )

And W started in on whipping my ass.  Lady B was playing with her sub right beside us.  At one point I heard her say to W "wanna try this?" and as I turned to see what "WE" were gonna try on "MY" ass both Lady B and W told me to turn around and not look.  

I kinda held my breath wondering what the hell was gonna hit my ass.  After all these years .......... and all the toys we have......... I figured I had felt just about everything.  WRONG ANSWER!  This one stung like wasps but felt so good!!  I stuck my ass out further - indicating I wasn't in the least bit of distress - in fact quite the opposite - I wanted more of whatever it was W was using.

W started laughing and Lady B who wasn't really watching - called over to me "say I love you Lady B" which I did quite willingly......... to the surprise of Lady B and good natured laughter.

W went at me for a few minutes with this mystery toy........ then I heard the dreaded "oooooops" (not something one wants to hear from the Dom whooping your ass) 

It turned out this neat lil toy had opened the skin on my ass.......... so the toy was returned ........ my ass cleaned up .. and the play continued .......my blood / bleeding has never deterred W before (thank god) and didn't on Saturday night.

After a nice long session of whips and quirts and all manner of stingy toys I was let down off the cross for a little rest.......... 

It turns out the nasty lil toy that opened my ass is called a "metal tipped bootlace flogger" - or simply put a "cat 'o nine tails" with metal tips.

I am thinking it might just show up on my wish list for W for Christmas - or his birthday.......... it was a toy well worth having in one's toy bag - especially if you are into  little more intense play.

And now for something a little bit different............

Ok...... so I am supposed to be working on tax receipts for my lil private school out on the island (if anyone is interested - I have been working on them since 6:00 am yesterday - though - ok ok - admittedly not continuously)

I also have a load of laundry going... and intend to flip the mattress ... vacuum the main level and oil the wood furniture today.  Those are my plans......... let's all have a good laugh now !!!  

The problem with working in my office on tax receipts - when I am on holidays - is that the computer is right here in front of me... and I tend to get distracted easily and land up wandering around the net.  I also tend to think about blogs that I would like to write.  And that lands me in BIG trouble.


You see the other day I saw this picture on Fetlife.  It was - in a perverted sort of way - beautiful.  It involved toothpicks.  And that got me remembering when Sir tried to stick a whole mess of toothpicks sideways in my ass cheeks .. (hard to explain) It was really done as a joke......... and then kaya and her master got caught up in the joke.. and it turned from joke to challenge.  (We discovered later on.. that this joke/challenge landed up going the route of the net and folks in Europe actually thought it was a real challenge and some took up the torch) 

Anyway........... all that to say... the other day on Fetlife I saw this toothpick picture.  And today instead of addressing envelopes for the damn tax receipts I thought what fun it would be to show you all this picture and get your reaction to it.  (also see if anyone is brave enough to try it)

BUT ya know what? I should have kept addressing envelopes.  First off I couldn't find the damn picture again !!  Then after going through hundreds of photos, and finally going through my friend's latest activities I found it !!!  BUT ..   Fetlife has this safety feature that does not allow you to right click on a photo and save it.  WTF??!!  They're that good??!!


But then I remembered how - a while back - folks were up in arms cause other folks were stealing pictures and claiming credit.  So I figured there had to be a way.  And I don't usually back away from a computer challenge.

So I spent an inordinate amount of time trying everything possible to "steal" this photo.  I copied the whole damn page and put it into a word document. Then I cut the picture out of the page and pasted it to another word document.  BUT then the problems really started.  How to transfer a word document to a jpeg??? (I am sure there is probably a much simpler way - but - hey I like to do things MY way) .  I opened my photo program and tried everything I could think of to change the format to jpeg.  All to no avail.  (you'd better not be scrolling to the bottom to see if I actually did it - that's like reading the last page of a mystery novel !!)  


Then I tried something called "capture" ...... I am not sure what I did..... but the whole screen blinked at me once and there it was.......... all jpeged nicely and sitting in my photo file.  


After all that hard work you had better all appreciate this photo.  

To try and protect my ass... the picture is from Fetlife .... from a person in Russia.  So I doubt there will be any problems.  Besides I don't know enough Russian to write and ask permission to use the picture.

Now who's brave enough to try it???  Do let me know if you do.  Who knows we could get another challenge going.......... how many toothpicks can you hold in your pussy???

OUCH

I have always maintained that I suffer from the Peter Pan Complex (I'm never gonna grow up!)

And those that have played with me can attest to the fact that when I am flying on endorphins my mental age ranges somewhere between 4 and 5 years old.

However - yesterday I was not / did not play ........ BUT I landed up feeling more like a 5 year old than any time I am playing.

I went to visit a friend.......... and when I was walking out the front door - I didn't realize her front step (from the front door to the cement - yes I said CEMENT - patio ) was not up to code and just a wee bit higher than it should have been. I put my foot down expecting to touch cement ...instead I went down........ hard....... on all fours. And no I was not demonstrating puppy play or any form of animal play.

She screeched - I tend to fall with flair and dramatics. I slowly and painfully rolled over onto my ass - hoping against hope my new pants had not had the knees torn out of them - especially since I was on my way to a house warming.

Nope the knees to the pants were fine......... BUT... rolling up the legs of the pants revealed my knees .. the ones of skin and bone .. were not so fine. They were skinned and bleeding and black and blue (well one was black and blue - the other one was just skinned)

Being the grown up on the outside... I declared I was fine.. just feeling foolish.... picked myself up with as much dignity as one can muster after falling ass over tea kettle... and climbed into my car.

When I arrived at baby daughter's house warming all I could think was " I want my mommy!!" I was so close to tears.. and my knees were .. OUCH !!!

We rolled up my pant legs again to reveal bloody knees . Fortunately baby daughter has 3 sons so band aides are never in short supply. She even had BIG ones that almost covered the knees.

The knees were bandaged up... advil taken.. ice applied .. drink in hand.. I went out to join in the festivities. Everything was going along swimmingly until I stood up to go and get dinner. It felt as though my right knee was the size of a football and as though someone had jammed a whole mess of cotton batting inside the joint.

I managed to hold out till a semi respectable hour and then begged my leave and came home. More ice - more advil - and bed.

My plan today is to keep the one knee iced at regular intervals - take advil - and pray a lot. School starts tomorrow......... with the kids !! I have my 'first day of school' outfit planned and trust me when I say, it does not involve a cane!!

Here is a picture of my poor swollen bruised skinned knees...........(self portrait - doesn't really do justice to the damage .. trust me!!)





The one thing you can bet on......... this year when a lil one comes in crying with skinned knees - they are gonna get a whole mess of sympathy from me!!!

Breaking News

Today is tattoo day.........

Stay Tuned..............

Film at 11:00


(or when I get back to my computer)

Pussy Torture

Last weekend Sir used the labia lifter on me.. and i got all weak kneed and hot and horny and declared that i must love pussy torture .. cause .. gee.. it felt so damn good. Now i DID have marks - pretty marks to show it was no wimpy exercise in pussy torture.. so i felt safe in declaring my love of pussy torture..

Last evening Sir brought out the wee small clothes pegs.. the really wee tiny ones.. and He proceeded to put 4 on each labia......... from the first to the eighth the pain was almost beyond my tolerance.... ok ok.. i claimed it was beyond my tolerance... those damn lil clothes pegs - despite their pretty colour caused such pain... it was so intense it burned.. it felt like 8 small needles piercing my labia... i moaned (loudly) .. the tears came... i twisted and turned and did my best to test Sir's steadfastness........

i heard Sir say.. "get on top of the pain" .. .and all i could think was .. "yeah right.. YOU get on top of the pain You SOB!!! just let me put two of these lil monsters on Your balls and see how on top of the pain You get!!"

i tried a multitude of breathing techniques (don't let anyone tell you that breathing is not an important part of coping with the pain.. or that there is one right way of doing it .. ) nothing seemed to work...

and then .. i realized that the pain was getting better.. easier to take... different breathing techniques helped.. and then....... then the thought hit me......... they have to come off !!! and the pain came slamming back into my body / mind.

The coming off was as bad as the going on.. no wait.. the coming off was WORSE than the going on.. some of the pegs got stuck to my skin.. and they had to be yanked off... it took hours i am sure to get them all off..(ok ok i am exaggerating) and each time one of them was loosened .. slightly.. to start their removal the pain shot up through my cunt into my stomach.. and then straight up to my head. Once they were all removed, i snuggled up against Sir... with my hand gently rubbing the pinched dimpled labia.... thinking that was awful.. that was the worst ever.. and wondering when can we do it again!!!