Life's lil realities..

Come sit... let's talk........

i had this blog entry going round and round in my head.. i thought it was a good one... i should have written it down when the inspiration hit me.. cause now it is but a shadow of it's former great entry !!!

It all started with my mind going to the common phrase "no limits" and how slaves have no limits... and how i have always had just a wee bit of trouble with that "no limit" thingy .. cause truthfully folks until you try something how do you know .. for sure !!! it will just be hunky dory fine.. that everyone.. you and your Dom will get "off" on that particular thing??

And what happens if it IS fine for now.. but something odd happens and it no longer works... what happens if suddenly you develop problems with this bdsm act... does it continue?? does your Dom actually ignore the fact there is a problem and keep going????

And yeah.. i am talking about small things like ewwwww factors and big things like my shoulder just dislocated from being hung upside down and backwards from that O ring in the ceiling....

BUT the big thing for me... at this point in my life.. is how Mother Nature changes our limits.. sets new limits.. and sets them in stone. AND not just for subbie / slave.. but for Dominant too. From small lil - almost unnoticeable changes - like stiffer joints that ache and don't bend 180 degrees anymore.. or thinner skin that might slice open easier from a crop or a whip...

i guess i am a little tired of reading about the young 'uns (and don't get me wrong .. if i didn't really like reading i wouldn't.. ) and their magnificent bodies.. and their unlimited bounteous amounts of energy and endurance and sexual prowess - hell even i am guilty most of the time of leaving out the truth .. the whole truth about a session..

And i am thinking maybe - just maybe - it is time that some of us old ones (not necessarily old and wise - just old) came clean about the truth of Mother Nature's limits.. cause they are much more than laugh lines (from a previous post on OH MY GOD i found a wrinkle)

Because like it or not... age comes sneaking in the door... and the changes are more than the obvious - the laugh lines or the grey streaks in the hair.... Changes are thinner skin - stiff (arthritic) joints - cocks that don't go up and stay up - cunts that don't supply copious amounts of fluid or where one orgasm is good.. no GREAT..

Life is always moving forward.. dragging us along kicking and screaming.. and the real - true - challenge of LIFE .. is how we adapt to the changes - how we accept and embrace them and adapt.


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i have posted a new entry to Behind the Screen.. where life is forever young...

Veggies anyone??

Before i go very far with this blog...... i want to add an extra advisory .. that this blog.. this entry to this blog is for ADULTS ONLY !!!

ok.. now that all the children have left the room.........

It is amazing what one does when boredom hits. Last Sunday - when i was feeling crappy and Sir was off on a "play date"...... i flipped on the television and started flipping channels. i stumbled across a show .. entitled 1000 Ways to Die.

Have any of you watched this show??? oh my god.. i sat there watching and thinking to myself - this is like watching a train wreck. Not believing half the stuff i saw.. despite the fact they had doctors and other specialists documenting the whys and hows of each individual accident.. i still didn't believe it. i went to "Urban Legends" and couldn't find one nibble on the acts i saw re-enacted. Therefore i have to assume these documentations of death by stupidity have to be real.

BUT there was one that really made me sit up and pay attention. There was a story of a woman who masturbated regularly - a nympho i believed they called her. (rolling eyes) ..
Turns out the woman went grocery shopping and picked up some big carrots....

Now we all know that carrots are the right shape..often the right size.. and more often than not in the fridge. Carrots are a favourite topic between Cloud and Sir....... carrots as dildos - not how to cook them.










Anyway - getting back to the TV show.. turns out this woman used a nice big carrot to masturbate with............. and managed to kill herself doing it !! i couldn't believe it.. turns out .. according to their medical expert .......... the carrot had not been cleaned.. nor had a condom been put on it.. turns out there was a sharp ridge.... and the sharp ridge cut the interior of her vagina........ she was pumping that old carrot in and out.. quite vigorously.. and in the process - pumped into her blood stream an air bubble... that traveled to her heart and killed her.

So be warned you vegetable lovers out there........ clean your carrots.. put condoms on them... protect yourself.. it would seem one needs to practice safe sex with carrots too !!!

And the award goes to............

Friendship

i have been honoured to be awarded two friendship awards........ the first one came from luna.. and then i received one from
libby......... It kinda makes my head swim...

The wording of the award is :

“These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.”

Somehow .. i just don't feel i earned such high praise......... it is embarrassing. But i will say i humbly accept and will try to live up to the wording of the award.

The rules of the award go on to say........

"The Rules to accepting this award: “Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

so i must now pick 8 blogs to give this award to...... which is difficult.. not because i don't know 8 friendly blogs that speak the truth.. but that some have already been given the award. BUT ya know what?? i don't much care.. this is MY list of people that i think are friendly and worth knowing..

AND - editor's note here - these 'friends' are under NO obligation whatsoever to list 8 blogs.. i just wanted to acknowledge some blogger friends worth a look see

of course there is my
Sir........

and then there is a spanking blog .... way over there in Belgium(i hope i have that right) ..
Spankedhortic

and then there is
drakor.. a dear friend in real life ..

selkie.. who promises next time she is down our way.. she and i are gonna meet.....

dear dear swan.... who is just about the most honest lady i know..

of course this list wouldn't be complete without kaya...

CarrieAnn who writes the best rants i have EVER read.. and the best sex toy reviews too...

last but not least (and this list honestly wasn't done in any order..well except for Sir of course !!) is R a friend who used to live here in the Great White North..and who moved south of the Border......... but who still writes me long emails - keeping me on my toes !!!

And i realized - nowhere in the "disclaimer" does it say these awards can only be given to BDSM blogs........ (duhhhhh !!! blonde or senior moment - take your pick) So i am continuing my list (yeah i know i did 8 already - but hey.. i happen to love breaking rules - just ask Sir !!! AND i always have a very good excellent rationalization for the breaking of rules !! ask Sir)

So if you want to read some great blogs .. for things other than the usual BDSM fair ... and come on be honest.. all BDSM can make Jack a dull boy...... may i introduce 4 more worthy bloggers.......

Scarlet Wytch found me.. and through her finding me i found her.. and have had good fun for many months now reading her blog......

and then there is Buffalo........... crusty (sometimes scary) always amusing and thought provoking - who has an amazing ability to write - for a male that is (cheeky grin)

there is noirkat - Buffalo's every patient loving wife.. who found me my new template for Behind the Screen and the Oxford Dictionary's extinct words.....

Whitesnake....... what can i say about Whitesnake?? ya just have to read him to understand.. and no he doesn't come with a translator (he's Australian) but sometimes you might feel like you need one !!!!

If you haven't read these blogs.. go and read.. play nice .. and make some new "friends".

His way......

swan wrote a post the other day entitled " Trying to get there". As with all her blogs it was a good one !! It made me sit back and think....... especially her line ......
"I replied, "You don't DO warm-ups -- at least not with me. The only people who get warm-ups and aftercare are newbies."

There was something about those words.... something i have said in one form or another to Sir... definitely not quite so to the point... but she nailed it on the head.

When Sir and i were first playing together.. things were very very different from the here and now - for obvious reasons. He didn't know me or my body and i was a little anxious about Him. Our play sessions were combinations of warm ups... slow and easy warm ups - building to intense sessions of pain that had me hanging loosely from the chains.. playing with my fairies... lost to the world of reality. And those times spent with my fairies were long enjoyable holidays... long being the operative word. Not just 10 or 15 minutes - but hours and hours of blissful endorphin rushes.

The after care had to be the best times ever............. they were the times that Sir would hold me close.. letting me snuggle into His body.. feeling His skin against me... inhaling His scent.. feeling it infusing my mind and body with His closeness - with His love.

But days pass... months .. even years pass... we are not so new to each other anymore... He knows my body perhaps better than i know it myself.. There are no tentative slow starts... watching me for acceptance.. watching my body for the nod and the wink to continue.... Now if Sir wishes to use just the quirt - then just the quirt is used... Sir knows my body can handle it... just the whip ?? then it is just the whip........... if i cry and complain and try and wiggle away.. He tells me to hold still.. He tells me i like it (and i do)

He doesn't need hours upon hours now to assuage His need to cause pain... It is done in record time.........

And i don't "need" hours upon hours to reach my fairies either... they are alway there.. just waiting.. hiding behind the stroke of the cane or crop.. waiting to lift me up and away........ if only for a little while

BUT i miss those beginning days.. i do. Back in the beginning.. Sir would ask seriously if i was warmed up enough... and judge by my non-answer that i was indeed ready. Now He taps my ass once or twice... laughing.. and leans in and whispers "are you warmed up enough"... and it doesn't matter what i answer.. He is warmed up enough... and that is all that "matters".

Every so often Sir will say .. "have you had enough" .. and god help me if i answer NO.. for then He will go at my ass like there is no tomorrow... making me cry out.. making me beg Him to stop....... i have come to know .. it is not about me .. really understanding what that phrase means... when asked i don't answer anything now.. or simply say "yes Sir" .... because i have learned - it is NOT about me.

Now i know... KNOW.. if Sir were to play with a newbie (without me around) His style would be very different......... He would have a nice slow and easy warm up.. waiting for the body to be ready... waiting patiently.. then going full on ... taking the submissive to their happy spot... holding them there.. and then caressing them afterwards.. bringing them back slowly to the here and now.

BUT just isn't life ... is it?? Familiarity does that to couples.. be it with pain sessions.. or sex.. or just every day functions... ya get to know exactly what is needed and that is what is given.........

As much as i would like to go back to those beginning days.. (as much as i am sure Sir would like to reclaim the newness of this old subbie) it can't be done. Ohhhhhh every once in awhile Sir will do a nice slow warm up.. but it isn't the same.. it can never be the same......... for the butterfly dance is not a happy excited jig these days.. but more a graceful waltz .........

just plain weird.

Sunday was a weird sort of day....... it was snowing all day... soft gentle flakes ... steady - if the calendar read December it would be called a wonderful Christmasy snow...... but the calendar reads end of February with spring around the corner.. so the snow was not wonderful.. it was bleak.

i decided to make good use of at least part of the day ... and set to to do some beauty work... it used to take at most an hour to do all the necessary things to keep the body unmarked .. clean.. and pleasing. But as the years pass i notice it takes longer.. and i am more likely to fit all the little beautifying projects in between other more ordinary tasks. As i was tweaking and shaving and grooming and polishing i couldn't help but think of a post i read on the infamous Fetlife - written by (obviously) a youngish sub complaining about laugh lines that had suddenly appeared....... and all i could think yesterday was.. what i would give to have just some silly old laugh lines!!! i pushed the nasty evil replies to her post forming in my mind to some dark corner in there.. and finished off the grooming process with a hot steamy soapy shower.


Then ... feeling quite pleased with myself.. i sat down at the computer to read blogs.. but no one was writing .... so i started to surf the net.. reading random blogs.. jumping from one to another.. going here and there..

The first thing i noticed was the names of the blogs i was stumbling upon... i was going to list some .. but.. just in case they might just stop by here to read.. i have thought better of it... black this.. and infidelity that.. dead this.. and on and on...

i was fascinated by the writing styles of many of the blogs i stumbled onto...
from one or two lines only... entry after entry - lines that meant nothing at all to me.. and i was left wondering if the author was trying to be "arty"... to a blog where each entry was numbered.. i read Sunday's entry #141 and i noticed that the numbers were going down not up.. and i wondered what would happen when the author reached 0 - would they stop writing abruptly??

Everything i read seemed sad to me.. lonely.. depressing.. and i didn't realize how i was being pulled in by the underlining emotions... and i literally had to tear myself away.. look up at the still softly falling snow.. turn on some lights... drag myself out of the chair.. away from the computer and into the reality of MY life..

The one bright spot in my surfing.. was a website entitled Male Submission Art .... if you are the least bit interested in Fem Dommes or male submissives... or just good artwork displaying the male body.. check it out... it's worth a look or two....


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pssssssssst if anyone is interested - i heard from King and Country ( the company that is "retiring" my geisha) not in 7 - 10 day working days .. but over night .. (duh!! of course over night it is in Hong Kong after all!!) AND ... drum roll please...... they are shipping my 3 geisha !!!!!!!!! i am doing a lil happy dance all around my office !!

It's all about me !!

i had absolutely nothing to say today....... i have been busy being "geeky" loading the new Microsoft Outlook (cause without it my 2007 word wasn't working right) ......... and i just didn't think anyone would be very interested in the trials and tribulations of new software... or how much i LOVE the new 2007 office... (now that it is up and running)

Then i went to kaya's blog ..and lo and behold she had this question thingy she wanted everyone to answer in her comment section......... welllllllll i stole the questions (like a thief in the night) left her a comment saying i was being a royal bitch and stealing them (now is it really stealing if you tell the person you are stealing something?? ) and brought them over here............

So ..here's the answers to all the questions you wanted to ask me - but didn't dare ! .


1. Can you cook?
oh yeah .. i can cook....... don't do it nearly as much as i used to... but i haven't lost the knack

2. What was your dream growing up?
to be a teacher.......

3. What talent do you wish you had?
god.. more than anything in the world i wish i could carry a tune...... as in sing... i sing.. but i am so bad dogs howl.

4. Favorite place?
by water.. lake ocean river.. under the hot summer sun... snuggled in a big beach chair with a good book.

5. Favorite vegetable?
i HATE vegetables - especially green ones.. (hint .. that fact is important in the next installment of Behind the Screen - ready for publishing on March 1st)

6. What was the last book you read?
Geisha, A Life - by Mineko Iwasaki with Rande Brown

7. What zodiac sign are you ?
Scorpio - and proud of it

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
Yes and yes.... two tattoos (which i have talked about before ... and one hood piercing which i have also talked about - ad nauseum)

9. Worst Habit?
that's easy.. smoking -

10. Do we know each other outside of blogging?
nope - don't know kaya outside of blogging.. but hell i would like to !!!!

11. What is your favorite sport?
football - even played a little bit of it in University

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude?
honestly - it depends on the day / month........ i like to think i am mostly optimistic

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
stuck with kaya?? probably talk and laugh and talk some more.. unless of course kaya is claustrophobic - which might make it less than a fun experience.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
Honestly - and not wanting to sound too much like "lil Miss Mary Sunshine" i honestly believe that everything that has happened to me in my life time has been for a reason / learning experience.. and so i refuse to classify them as something negative.

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
When i am tired i tend to rub my feet together..

16. Do you have any pets?
yup.. two cat kidlets...

17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
oh god yes........ it is taught at school every year.. and i usually jump right in and do it with the kids

18. What time is it where you are now?
Right now.. at this minute .. it is 7:11 (damn and time to take the laundry out of the dryer - hang on a second !!)

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
neither actually - some are funny though

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
my grey hair............ and don't tell me to dye it .. too long a story but it can't be done anymore.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
by nature i have to admit .. i am more a conscience person than a crime partner.

22. What color eyes do you have?
blue

23. Ever been arrested?
nope.. but i have been questioned in the police station in my younger rebellious days

24. Favorite fictional character of all time?
Cat in the Hat

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
put a BIG down payment on my much needed new car

26. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
unending energy

27. What’s your favorite hangout?
my secret garden - i'm too old to "hangout" in the usual sense.

28. Do you believe in ghosts?
yes

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
play on my pc.. be Sir's favourite play thing...... read

30. Do you swear a lot?
i like to think NO.. but i am betting Sir would say YES

31. Biggest pet peeve?
parents who can't follow instructions

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
peaceful

33. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
ummmmmm i guess you already know the answer to this one!!!

And that is probably more than you wanted to know about me........

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ooooooooops i forgot........ if you want to steal the questions from me .. for your blog entry. .. can you leave me a comment so i can come check out the answers and learn a little bit more about you??? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee??

Day After

It's the day after flowers and gift boxes .. and the day of Love... and i was thinking this morning sometimes the best gifts don't come wrapped up in boxes with pretty paper and ribbon.... and yeah i know that is a "duh" statement.........

BUT really - the best things don't...

like yesterday...

i was icing a special "heart felt" cake i had made for Sir (instead of the more traditional card ) and Sir comes in the kitchen.. pushes me down onto the counter (narrowly missing His cake) and fucks me till i am squirting all over the kitchen floor (and in my slippers .. geeeez !!!) Then mid morning He bound my breasts with leather thongs ... and sent me back to play with my blogs (in case you hadn't noticed i changed the template here on The Journey - AND - i got the one for the fictional journey up and running - thanks to kethry for her suggestion) the bound breasts were probably the inspiration i needed to figure out the html code problems....

Then last night.. ass over the ottoman.. and both the dog whip and the circus whip were used.. and god it hurt.. and i was whining... but it didn't take long for me to get into the rhythm... even the heavy leather strap felt wonderful...........

Yeah - sometimes the best gifts don't come wrapped in pretty gift boxes...

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Guess what??!!! Sir did a post on the weekend too !!!! You can see His cake.. and read His version of the day .. HERE......... enjoy!!!

Sentimental

i was standing outside early this morning watching the sun come up over the roofs of the still dark houses... standing there in the quiet of the morning reflecting on my Sir.. on the man He is.. the truly different soul / heart He possesses .......

He had arrived yesterday with an armful of flowers for me..a gorgeous rainbow of reds and oranges and golds and greens... attached to the bouquet was a white fluffy snuggly teddy that holds a heart that says "I love you" much like Cuffs who came into my life i don't even remember how many Valentines ago...

This morning there is a small package sitting on the kitchen table with a card attached - waiting for me to rise .. to stumble down to the kitchen to make that first cup of coffee that kick starts this old body ....... waiting for me to find it... and it waits still for Sir to come downstairs.. for Sir to watch me open it.. for Sir to experience the opening......

BUT these Valentine gifts.. they do not make Sir special to me.. they do not make me love Him more...... it is the fact .. the simple fact.. that He celebrates the day !! Finds a secret joy in the day for lovers....... something i have never found in anyone else that passed through my life.

i love You too Sir.. with all my heart !!!






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editorial note:

in case anyone thinks Sir got all mushy just cause it is Valentine's day... i just opened the card .. it says:

There really is such a thing as enough
Except for peace
And hope.....

(open card .. )

Oh ....... and seeing you naked...

gotta love that Man i call Sir !!! let's not get carried away with all this mushiness !!!!

Lesson in Frustration

This past week.. noirkat sent me a link for a new template she thought i might like... template for my blogs....

she was right... i loved the template... and if i am honest - i loved the fact that i would have a template that did not look like any template that Blogger offers.

So i went to the site.. Falcon Hive.. read the instructions carefully - hell i even printed up the instructions..
After a few false terrifying starts (like i lost the blog totally first time around) i got smart and set up a new blog - test blog - and started again.

Now i can follow instructions.. and i can even get the background up and running.... what i can't seem to do is get the graphics up and running.. i did everything they told me to... i even opened an account on "Photobucket" thinking that if i used the one they recommend it will work easier. WRONG !!!

What i learned this week - is that i can't read. No no .. that's not true i can read. What i can't do is play a version of "where's waldo". One of the instructions says "find the "http://YOUR-LINK-HERE/image.jpg" hidden in all the html code.

i swear that line is NOT there.. i have looked and looked.. nothing. i even tried plunking in the line in various parts of the html code where i thought it might work... again nothing !!!

This morning i am wondering why i like frustrating myself.. especially during a month (at work) that by it's name is frustrating !!! February terrifying tax month. (don't ask) ...... all you really need to know is that i spend at least 8 hours a day staring at spread sheets trying to find mistakes.. my own tax version of "where's waldo"............

So i have decided ... that i am either dumb or blind.. and that if i leave it alone for a while .. like till March...... and the end of February terrifying tax month....... maybe my brain will be able to handle the Falcon Hive version of "where's waldo".

However having said that.......if anyone has used a template from Falcon Hive.. managed to get it up and working.......... any and all help would be appreciated..... just "talk" slow .. cause i am feeling dumb enough right now !!!

DUHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok.. i have been lucky enough to avoid all the tempests in teapots and silliness that goes on around FetLife (the latest kink related message board/dating service going) IF you are one of the very few who haven't stumbled upon it.. heard about it (are you living in a vacuum??) and really want to go see / join it......... click HERE

If you will forgive me.. i will stick to ignoring it.. except when i read about it on other's blogs.. or .. as is the case today.. someone sends me an email with an excerpt of a conversation and asks for my opinion..... the following is the excerpt that is gonna send me off on a rant...... (you have been warned)

If I meet people through fetish events, I sometimes feel like I don't really have that much in common with them in the everyday world. And yet if I meet people through more conventional means, then you always run into that problem of introducing your kinks/fetishes to them

I guess my question is...are you better off being in a relationship where you share the same kinks or share more everyday interests? Because while I certainly have a kinky side to me, it by no means totally defines who I am, and I have lots of other interests too.

On a side note...are you better off "converting" someone who shares your kinks to start liking your other interests, or is it actually easier to convert a vanilla date into liking your kinks? Or, maybe in fact, it's impossible to get anyone to change in the first place :)

i am wondering how this person found partners before he/she discovered they were "kinky" ... how superficial were they then?? did they have a list of things that their partner must have - like blond hair .. blue eyes.. love baseball.. and liver .. and only tried to find someone like that???

Just because they have now discovered they like beating someone's ass / or having their ass beaten.. they don't know how to look for someone. Seems to me they didn't know how to look before !!!

That post is just so wrong in so many ways...... (in my humble opinion) ...

i could no more separate my being submissive from my loving to read.. or loving to garden... why in god's name would i have two separate lists?? one for the vanilla side of my life and one for the BDSM side....all sides .. all interests are ME... don't they get that?? This isn't a game..it isn't a hobby to put away at the end of an evening.. or the end of a play session......... and take out the starched underwear and join the vanilla world (forgive me all my vanilla readers!! i am not saying you all starch your underwear)



What i am trying to say is............. if this person wants to find someone with similiar interests.. he must have missed the BDSM 101 class .. or maybe he should go find the book BDSM for Dummies??

Rule one - is never EVER play with someone you don't know........ if you are looking for someone .. Dom or sub... get to know that person... have coffee.. go to movies.. go to baseball games.. check out their underwear to see if it is starched.... but get to know them first !! Life is about much more than BDSM - much more than beating someone's ass .. or sticking pins in them.. or branding them or piercing them.. or electrifying them... much much more !! So yes .. YES !! .. look for someone who has similar interests as you do.. in both BDSM and life.

Why do they all make it so complicated??? so dramatic?? They find BDSM and all common sense goes flying out the window?? Think with your head .. not your cock .. or your cunt.. think with your head.. not your heart... if you are looking for someone to grow old with .. for god's sake ... look with all of you.... find a good match - for all of you........ and then go off and prosper and grow old together.

Too many times .. both in real life and here in blogville i see Doms and subs alike announcing to the world they have found THE ONE.. only to see that ONE turn to ash and blow away in the slightest breeze when life gets tough. HELL i see that happen in the vanilla world to !!! People don't look with their eyes open... their hearts open... they just want to grab someone up.. quick like.. and not be alone anymore.........

What is wrong with being alone??? Don't you like yourself enough to be alone with yourself??? If that is the case .. do NOT expect to find someone who will like you enough to stick around for any length of time... in BDSM time or vanilla time........


and with those words i will climb down off my soap box.. tuck it away until the next time.. and return you all to your regularly scheduled reading.........

Blateration continued...

Yesterday - February 10, 2009 - was a red letter day.

It was the day i posted my 1000 blog entry (on this blog)

On April 28, 2005 i started this blog. On that day i wrote:

i am a collared submissive who has been writing a private daily journal for just over 3 years now... some have asked to read them... Now i am ready for any and all interested in my life inside the BDSM world and outside it to read my thoughts..........

i do not live a full 24/7 with my Sir.. vanilla life commitments keep us apart from Monday to Thursday. But Sir arrives each Friday and leaves Monday morning. Sometimes i struggle with His leaving.. with taking up my vanilla life again....... It is not always an easy transition.. but it is what we must do for now.

and now this public journey begins...........

And 1000 posts later here we are.

In between there were one helluva lot of words that flew off my fingers on to this medium. Today i wonder how i ever came up with enough blateration to fill 1000 posts. i have taken you all into the intimate side of my relationship with Sir.. into my job and the trials and tribulations of working with needy children.. i have talked about my lil red honda.. and family and family weddings.. i have questioned - god have i questioned !! - my place in this dynamic we call BDSM... i have discussed philosophies and do's and don'ts .. i have bounced from one topic to another and given you all headaches (i am sure) ...


And the bonus - the greatest prize i got from all this writing - was YOU my readers. My faithful ones who come each day to read what i write.. some of you i have come to know and now i read your blogs..some of you leave encouraging comments, send me emails, pat me on the back or slap me upside the head when i need it....you laugh with me and cry with me.. YOU have been with me through it all.. through all 1000 posts (well some of you - the rest of you will just have to catch up!!)

And now - for the next 1000 blogs........... who knows where it will take me - take us - but i am ready for it............ come along with me on my continuing journey............

Blateration

Back at the end of January, noirkat wrote a blog about her love for words. It was a good blog entry especially for anyone who loves words.. loves the feel of them on your tongue .. or the sound of them... or just the way they communicate feelings, thoughts, philosophies.

She pointed out that words are disappearing from our vocabulary....... and that the Oxford dictionary had a campaign going to try and bring some nearly extinct words back into circulation.

i went to take a look........... and i had to admit a goodly number of the words displayed i did not know. (ok ok i knew "10 cent store" - but i'm old ) It made me wonder why these words aren't being used anymore...

like

"scaevity" which means unluckiness - we all suffer from days of unluckiness .. so where did the word go??

we still have counter-espionage so where did "phylactology" go??

did you know that "yelve" means dung fork?? i personally think yelve sounds better than DUNG fork.. why did we stop using it??

what about "aquabib" - it means water drinker - doesn't it sound so much more classy than 'water drinker'??

i had fun checking out some of the words and their meanings........ if you want to take a gander go to ..........Oxford dictionary site and give it a look see.. who knows.. you might just learn something!

i noticed as i wrote this blog entry .. every one of the words i used as examples have been underlined in red ink - (spell check at work dontcha know!!) i am gonna 'add' each word to my dictionary - cause i hate red underlines in a blog entry......... and who knows i might just use a new word or two one of these days......... cause the word Blateration most definitely describes me...

"Blateration"......... it is the word i adopted... yes you can actually adopt words at the Oxford Site......... Blateration means blabber or chatter.. seemed appropriate for me to adopt that specific word......... don't you agree??

Monday Morning Report

If you have been reading here over the weekend you know i had a fun filled.. bruised/marked weekend. But i have a problem.. have had for as long as i can remember.. when i am away.. when it comes time to start thinking about going home.. i want to get cracking and get on the road............ sighhhhh....

Let me give you an example..

Friday and Saturday were wonderful days with Sir.. i felt relaxed and comfy.. like i had "come home" which is a good thing.. it has taken a little while to feel "at home" in Sir's house, but i am there !!! On Sunday Sir had plans to go and visit an old friend of His .. who lost her a husband a little over a year ago (i think) These are nice people.. don't get me wrong.. but they babysit animals.. mostly cats and dogs.. in their little house.. At any time we could drop in and find them with multiple numbers of dogs and more cats than you could count. And always....... always...... the house smelled like a kennel....... and a not very clean one either. So i wasn't looking forward to the visit.. This wonderful woman (because she is !!) is the epitome of the crazy cat lady..........

Sir had told me that she has very few dogs these days as she cut back on her babysitting service.. And Sir was right (as always) she only had 3 dogs .. two of which are her own. BUT .. there were 3 cats flitting around .. and she told us she had cut back on the animals..only had the dogs and .... ready for this one............ 15 cats.. yes i said 15!! The house did smell a tad better - probably due to the fact she has removed all the carpeting.. and repainted the entire place.. but still there was an underlying scent of animal..........

However.. as we drove away - having spent a couple of hours visiting with her.. i felt we had each earned stars in our crowns (as my mother used to say) because she had been so happy to see us. It takes so little to please older people.. just a little visit and conversation - it almost made me feel guilty about my doubts about going over.

Anyway....... getting back to my example... by the time we got back to Sir's house it was mid afternoon.. i was all dressed to be out in public.. and as i looked at the clock i thought to myself.. i will be leaving in a bit anyway......... so i should just leave now.........i couldn't see the point in going into Sir's getting all undressed just to get all dressed in a wee bit to come home.. so i said i would leave. BUT .. i had this huge lump in my chest.. i didn't want to leave.. but if i didn't leave then.. i could conceivably get hung up on the bridges with the returning weekend traffic.... i could land up driving home in the dusk - or worse yet the dark....... and i HATE driving in the dark!! So i left. and felt miserable. and missed Sir something awful. i don't know what the answer is........... i am feeling way too safe and protected with Sir .... and the fact is .. i still have a life over here.. that i have to live by myself... i guess i will get over this lump in my chest.. and get accustomed to a few days with Him over there.. the same as i got accustomed to a few days with Sir over here.......

i originally planned on doing a post entitled "words" .. because i do struggle some days with making myself understood with words.... BUT i have run out of time and space to do that today............ so it will wait in the wings for a day when i have the time and the 'words' to explain it fully..........

have a good Monday ...........

Pussy Torture

Last weekend Sir used the labia lifter on me.. and i got all weak kneed and hot and horny and declared that i must love pussy torture .. cause .. gee.. it felt so damn good. Now i DID have marks - pretty marks to show it was no wimpy exercise in pussy torture.. so i felt safe in declaring my love of pussy torture..

Last evening Sir brought out the wee small clothes pegs.. the really wee tiny ones.. and He proceeded to put 4 on each labia......... from the first to the eighth the pain was almost beyond my tolerance.... ok ok.. i claimed it was beyond my tolerance... those damn lil clothes pegs - despite their pretty colour caused such pain... it was so intense it burned.. it felt like 8 small needles piercing my labia... i moaned (loudly) .. the tears came... i twisted and turned and did my best to test Sir's steadfastness........

i heard Sir say.. "get on top of the pain" .. .and all i could think was .. "yeah right.. YOU get on top of the pain You SOB!!! just let me put two of these lil monsters on Your balls and see how on top of the pain You get!!"

i tried a multitude of breathing techniques (don't let anyone tell you that breathing is not an important part of coping with the pain.. or that there is one right way of doing it .. ) nothing seemed to work...

and then .. i realized that the pain was getting better.. easier to take... different breathing techniques helped.. and then....... then the thought hit me......... they have to come off !!! and the pain came slamming back into my body / mind.

The coming off was as bad as the going on.. no wait.. the coming off was WORSE than the going on.. some of the pegs got stuck to my skin.. and they had to be yanked off... it took hours i am sure to get them all off..(ok ok i am exaggerating) and each time one of them was loosened .. slightly.. to start their removal the pain shot up through my cunt into my stomach.. and then straight up to my head. Once they were all removed, i snuggled up against Sir... with my hand gently rubbing the pinched dimpled labia.... thinking that was awful.. that was the worst ever.. and wondering when can we do it again!!!

Friday again.......

i don't know but it does seem as though the weeks are flying by....... god before i know it - it will be March 1st and i will be on spring break !!!

My bags are packed and ready to go with me to work........ It is a professional day today and i am hoping against hope that i can sneak away after lunch and join Sir on the South Shore .. a day early.

There hasn't been too much going on around here this past week... our stupid politicians have decided that to protect the environment they are going to ban fireplaces and wood burning stoves in new homes and you can't put one in your home if you don't already have one.........

Now see.. that bothers me...In 1998 we had an ice storm.. an ice storm to end all ice storms.. i didn't have a fireplace back then.. and it got damn cold!! and you can only cook so many meals in a fondu pot.

It is a time i won't forget....... and was a big influence when i went looking for my own house.. it had to have a fireplace. i was NOT going to live through the cold and dark ever again.. i wasn't going to have to worry about my animals being safe and warm ever again. And so i found my lil house complete with a fireplace. And know what?? i don't care what any government says....... if i lose power again.. i am gonna live by my fireplace. My ancestors cooked on a wood stove.. heated with a wood stove... and so will i .. to me it is a basic human right !!

ok enough of that rant..

i haven't done a work update in ages.. i have a new special kid this year.. ohhhh i still have Christopher Robin.. but he has been handed off (more or less) to a multitude of professionals.. my new lil guy - i'll call him OJ - decided i was gonna be his "friend" this year. He is engaging.. and charming .. and manipulative .. and some days he actually scares me.. but he's my new project. i have worked hard to find one thing he can do and do well....... and discovered he has a unique gift with small children. So .. against the best advice of all the specialists.. OJ goes to Kindergarten every lunch hour and spends an hour helping get them fed and watered.. dressed and outside to play. He has more patience than i ever expected with them and is a god send when it comes to making hurts all better.. and getting one more bite of that sandwich down. For now it is working.. and that is a good thing.

i read the other day a comment on some blog or another.. where the commenter asked "why don't people give details about what they ate?? they say ' we had dinner' and i am left wondering what they had for dinner" .. Now i am not sure how healthy this obsession is with other people's menus/diets.......... BUT it made me think about a casserole i have made to take to Sir's this weekend........ chicken and bacon wrapped up in pasta smothered in a yummy homemade meat sauce and topped with 3 types of cheese. i hope to get 5 minutes to stop and pick up some fresh bread (don't have time to make any) to go with it before i head off to Sir's. As for the other meals.. whatever i find in Sir's freezer i guess.

February is my busy month........ definitely not my favourite month......... it is income tax time. The time when i have to make out tax receipts for all the families who have used one of the services offered. i hate math !! Always have .. always will... i do tend to pout a little bit in February - cause no one told me when i took this job that i would be doing as much math as i do - from monthly deposits to chasing payments.. to .. the dreaded income tax receipt.... Therefore if i am quieter than normal this month... just think of me as a groundhog.. i popped my head up..saw the income taxes and dove back into my hole until March......... ok??

And that's about it for Friday........ i am taking the lap top with me this weekend.. BUT... i am sorta.. kinda.. hoping Sir keeps me soooooooooo busy.. so tied up... that i won't have time to turn it on.... ok ok...maybe turn it on to pick up emails.. but no time for anything else..

everyone be nice and play safe till i get back............

Best features..

i was wondering the other day if men worry about their bodies the same way a woman does... like do they worry if they have a bad hair day?? do they check their faces for wrinkles??? do men look at their bodies and find their "best feature"??

A few years back.. at the beginning of my relationship with Sir.. we were camping. Sir was walking in front of me in a pair of shorts and i was studying His body... i realized that Sir has really nice legs. In my humble opinion .. most men do not have nice legs. Sir's legs are straight - no knock knees, or bowed legs...... perfectly straight and well shaped. That picture of His legs came back to me when He told me He was going to be wearing a kilt for our formal occasions.... (i will miss the tux - but one has to make sacrifices!!) And i thought to myself, Sir will have the nicest legs in the bunch !!

Then this past weekend.. when my head was going down to suck on His cock, i had another revelation ............ Sir has a really nice cock !! It is a really nice shape. It is well proportioned. The shaft is a nice thickness - just right for my mouth. The head of His cock is round and fits perfectly on top of the shaft (ok ok i know the head is supposed to fit on top of the shaft - that's not what i mean. It looks like the whole thing - shaft and head - were poured from a mold .. complete in one piece) The rim is distinct and i love running my tongue around it. The cock sits nicely against His balls like it was meant to fit there. Some cocks don't lie as nicely against the balls...... and they are crooked or a funny colour.. or have a kink in them. Sir's cock is like His legs.. straight and well shaped.

So i am thinking Sir has it made in the shade. His two best features fit well with His kilt.... legs and cock. (you know what they say a Scots man wears under his kilt !!)

One day i will take a picture and show all you doubters.. yeah i will !!!
and maybe live to tell about it .............

And then there was.........

a whooping this weekend.........



First there was the crop..............



Then there were the sticks (for lack of a better name)



Then there was the spanker i gave Sir for His birthday........



Mix 'em up, add one ass over the ottoman..

And you got one big OUCH !!

Now i have trouble holding still when a whooping begins.... sometimes in the middle too.. and even sometimes i have trouble holding still at the end of the whooping.........

Sir tried placing His hand against my back to hold me down and hold me still... (i rather like that.. like the connection between Sir and i) ......... but it only worked for a little while.....

Now Sir could have (god it has been a long time) tied me down......... but He didn't...

What He did do was get the knife.. the sharp one.. the one with a point that can impale in a blink of an eye...

He ran the point of the knife up my legs.. across my ass... managed to hit the spot on the small of my back (ya know the one?? the wee spot that is directly connected to your pussy/clit??) He ran it up between my legs.. tickled my asshole with it.. tickled my clit with it.. made me hold my breath and hold still.. as still as a mouse....

And then..........

He picked up the crop and started to whoop my ass.. holding the knife against me..

Sir may have discovered a way of making me stay still.. stay in place...

i am pleased to report i was not impaled !!!

Precious moment

There was a moment this past weekend that was very special to me....... a gem..... something precious .. that i will hold close to my heart.........

At one point i was kneeling between Sir's legs looking up at Him.. teasing Him.. being my bratty devilish self.......... when i heard Him unzip His pants.. felt His hands on my head .. even as i continued to joke and fool around.......

i let His hands guide my head downwards... my mouth opening even before i knew it... closing around His penis...... feeling it's warmth... its velvety texture in my mouth....... and my heart soared... a precious gift from my Sir.. i was being allowed to suck His cock.

There was a time i couldn't take His cock in my mouth........ There was a time i couldn't even really look at His cock.......... now.. now it is His gift to me.. saved for special moments.. and i was basking in the knowledge that this was one of those precious gem like times...........

i am out of practice ... my jaw was soon aching... but i wasn't going to stop... i wanted to enjoy every second that Sir allowed me to suck Him..

i realize i find something very erotic about being on my knees between His legs sucking on His cock....... very erotic. And i realize i have this "dance" that happens....... naturally .. unbidden... from deep inside of me comes this need to move... my body sways with the sucking.. my ass goes a wee bit higher.. and my sweater moves up my body a bit.. leaving my bare ass dancing and swaying ... and from my mind's eye i watch the scene displayed before me... and i moan softly.............

This is affirmation that i am truly His... that i am truly woman and truly desirable..........

And all is right with the world.

Monday Morning Report

Well i am here to say things have returned to normal (whatever "normal" is) around here....... after a long vanilla break for the holidays and house renovations. (So long i thought we might never find our way back - even though i did leave bread crumbs!!)

Friday we met up with Cloud for our usual Friday afternoon coffee klutch and had a good time catching up on His news.........

Then after dinner.. Sir told me to go and get the labia lifter i had given Him for Christmas. Now if you read here at all.. you know my doubts about this gift. It was something i really really wanted ............. but questioned and doubted myself after i bought it. If you want to read the "product review" on the labia lifter ....... go HERE

Sir attached the device to my pussy and i floated into the pain ............ god it is an amazing device !! The tighter the clamps are... the higher they are lifted.. the more the Plexiglas cylinder pushes into my pussy.

Afterwards i was reviewing the session for Sir.. holding the device in my hand - looking at it in amazement - when i discovered the height of the clamps. Being me.. i had to question Sir if that was as tight as He had pulled it.......... and He answered in the affirmative. i was distressed because i had made a bit of a nonsense at how much it hurt... and yet....... yet i wanted to know my limits.. and we sure hadn't come close on Friday night.

Saturday Sir told me to go and fetch the labia lifter again. This time i knew He wasn't going to spare me. The device was attached and He started to turn the screw........... and then He tightened the rope that holds the clamps. Then Sir started to flick my clit jewelry and tap on the cylinder.. and basically drive me wild.

After a few minutes of that torture (yeah right torture my foot !!) Sir disappeared upstairs and returned with my hitachi. i had wondered out loud - after the first usage - what it would feel like to have the hitachi vibrating against the cylinder.

He turned on the hitachi and held it against various parts of the device.... watching i am sure for my reactions.......... i am here to report it was AMAZING !! better than i ever imagined.

Once Sir had my body vibrating with the hitachi, He tightened the screw even more.. pulling my pussy lips still further upwards away from my body. i honestly thought i would cry "uncle" .. but once He applied the hitachi again i soon forgot the pain and stretching. That bit amazes me even now....... the sexual teasing that came from the combination of pain and pleasure. In that moment i realized i am really ......... REALLY ... into pussy torture.... god it turned me on.

Sir started to chuckle at one point.. my body was moving up and down.. trying to fuck the cylinder that was resting against my pussy.....and Sir said....... "ooooooops.. you're in trouble now littleone - the batteries are running out!!" God i hate when that happens !!! Sure enough Sir had the poor lil hitachi going full steam ahead and it was barely tickling my fancy. i might have pouted !!

Once the batteries died for good, Sir removed the device.. snapped some pictures - and then picked up a crop i think ( i sure as hell don't know.. i wasn't looking!!) and proceeded to crop my pussy ...... and clit. i was in heaven....... so close to cumming yet not able to.

i spent the next many hours suffering with a twitching pussy and clit - and a need that didn't die.. but burned ever so much hotter as the clock ticked by.............

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure................

You can see in the above picture just how far my pussy lips were stretched........ (i am wondering if they could go farther next time)

And in this one......... you can see the amazing marks left by the clamps !!


i will continue the Monday Report tomorrow.. cause Sir wasn't finished with me yet !!!