Simmering

After 10 days of not seeing LLF I was on a slow simmer.... 

Yesterday I left mid afternoon and now I am with LLF -- the slow simmer is settling down...... 

Now I am more like Tigger........ bouncing all over ...

poor LLF.

We are leaving mid morning for Montreal -- to go to a munch that LLF organises and then tonite to a play party.  Our first party together in over 8 years!!  (bouncy bouncy)

AND the best thing -- we get an extra day together -- Monday is a holiday here in Ontario....... 

I should have lots to talk about come Tuesday -- but will leave you all something for tomorrow and Monday

Play nice while I am away ......I'll see you all on Tuesday
 

Yucky

I have noticed that I have been feeling yucky by Friday every week....I started to think 'stupid' thoughts that somehow exercising was bad for me - making me sick...........

Well the feeling sick didn't ease over the weekend - and yesterday I dragged myself to the gym - dragged myself through my exercises and cardio - and dragged myself home... I thought I was gonna die.

Now I may have picked up a bug (cause I do have some physical symptoms that I won't get into that spells BUG) but still this yucky feeling has been getting worse and worse as the weeks go by.

So this morning I googled (google is my friend) "can exercising make you feel sick?" 

And guess what..... it sure can.......... especially if you push it / over work it / and don't allow a rest time between exercise days.

I go to the gym 4 days a week - Monday through Thursday and by Friday I feel like crap...... having read this article I learned that I may be doing myself damage - and worse than that - if you don't allow the body to heal between the exercise days you can actually PUT ON WEIGHT!!!!

Time to rethink schedules................

On another note.... Sir is taking this hobby of model trains to the extreme.  He has been trying to sort out how the tracks will work in front of his station (or some such thing) .  So yesterday he took off and walked the tracks by the Kingston Station.........

Doesn't he look like the cutest lil train guy??? (very cheeky grin)  Hopefully he can now sort out the rails...........

I can hear you all saying "what does one thing have to do with the other?"  Nothing... I just shared is all.......... 

Endings

The picture above caught my eye because it said "endings......... waiting" (well that's what I saw/read when I first glanced at it) and I thought that pretty much describes my life right now.... I am waiting for the endings............ 

But then I read the faint writing and realized it actually said " Endings are just beginnings waiting to happen"........... and it seemed a whole lot less scary and final.......... which I really needed to change my state of mind........... 

You see.......... my lil PreK out on the Island is going to close this June - after 20 years of being there.......... being a rock for the community ........ being my pride and joy... being the thorn in my side ... and of course being my impetus to learn/master accounting/math.

I have tried everything even resorting to begging........... but there is no small corner to rent anywhere.............. AND......... as I really only wanted to keep it open for one more year... 2 at the very most .......... it is time to let go .. to close it down....... to say goodbye.

Then after many years of talking about it........ W's house is going on the market this week.  He is selling and moving away...... 3 hours away ...... he is worried too about this ending.......... He has always lived (60 years of living) in the same town .......... and he is pulling up roots and moving away.  It really is a daunting proposition for everyone who does it - but more so for him ... after so long............ 

Then I am left working out my last 20 months or so alone.......... marking time till I will put my house on the market and follow him........... leaving my home town of 60+ years - my family - my job - my security and all that I know.  

The hardest thing for me is leaving the security of my job.........knowing every two weeks a pay cheque would arrive - and I would be set for the next two weeks.  I have crunched numbers till my brain hurts...... I have seen a financial adviser ........ I have stressed and cried and pulled my hair out - but the facts are the facts......retirement is going to be tight.............. 

On the plus side - cause ya know - if you look hard enough you will always find some pluses........... 
W and I will be together 24/7.......... in a lovely lil house that we will buy together...... 
We are already finding and setting down roots in the BDSM community in our new city.
I won't have to be crawling out of bed every morning before the sun rises 
I will be able to finally start taking my photography classes
I will be able to clean my house during the daylight hours and do laundry and baking and cooking like civilized folk....... and care for my W the way I have always wanted to...
AND (cheeky grin) I won't have to buy clothes cause W says I will finally be naked all the time ...... (of course the heating bill for the house will be bloody high - I don't "do" cold........ )

And so we are starting the "Ending" and preparing for a brand new "beginning"......

YES !! and yes !!!

ok.. so this should throw a few readers - two posts in one day!  

BUT ......... i just had to share.......... 

Remember back in the fall when I was learning how to do the damn accounting program??? Remember my fear that I would be audited and get thrown in jail??? (I should learn to keep my bloody mouth shut and not tempt fate) 

Last week I got a call from the Federal Government.  They wanted / needed to do an audit.  

A U D I T !!  Yikes!!

I made it very clear to the auditor that a) I don't do math/accounting b) my past accountant was an asshole - and I only learned that after he left c) I would probably cry.
He was very calm and told me that I shouldn't stress - that it would be ok.  Right and I am gonna believe him??? 

Well he came this morning at 9:00 a.m sharp.  Took forever to get his laptop and files all set up on my desk.  The first thing he asked me for I couldn't find.. anywhere !!!  I panicked.   He calmly kept setting up.  I settled down and found the paperwork.  

Three hours later he packed everything up.  Yes I got hit with an assessment - BUT - he only charged me the minimum penalty .. and minimum interest.  (it's still a chunk of cash - but it could have been much worse) 

The best news was ......... he checked 2011 which I did with my new bookkeeper and it was perfect... dead on!  So now I know I am on track..... He shook my hand - smiled and told me to stop worrying - and left. 

Now the other bit of news I just have to share....... I am SO excited!!  W and I are heading off on a road trip on Friday!!  We're going to Kingston Ontario to spend the weekend.  We will be attending a munch up there....... going to a train show....... and making good use of our hotel room for some play time.  Two whole days!!!  I so needed this.  

It has been one year since I was admitted to the hospital.  One year - hard to believe.  I want to celebrate life and love and health....... and will get to do that in style this weekend.  


So......... this has been thumbs up day !

Catching up........

Honestly truly I should be downstairs doing housework and yard work........ I have a lot of catching up to do after spending half the week painting and redecorating the bedroom............... 

BUT I have been trying and trying to do a blog........... 
Last week when I posted the video of L'Oubliette I received an email from a friend asking for a more detailed description of the equipment.  I have tried and tried to capture the pictures individually to use them in the explanation blog...... but I can't ........ and I personally don't see any point in trying to explain something without the picture.  I mean - other than the obvious - this is a cage......... it is difficult to explain equipment that is used for various forms of torture.  I mean there was a St. Andrew's cross in the video and a set of stocks and a frame for suspension and a spanking bench...... and I couldn't even find similar pictures of equipment through google to use - as bandit makes 99% of his own equipment so there are bits and pieces that are different....

Anyone got any suggestions???


And then - the bedroom is bugging me.  The wall that was 1/3 a different colour was driving me nuts.  So Wednesday when I got home from the specialist's I repainted the entire wall so it is now all one colour and almost impossible to tell it isn't the same colour as the rest of the room.  THEN I decided the bamboo I had put on the wall would look much better on the cupboard doors ........ so I transferred it.  And it did look much better on the cupboard doors .......... but now the wall looked blank so I went downstairs and took the Japanese lantern/light down and put it up in the bedroom against the bare wall.  Then I breathed a sigh of contentment cause the room was FINISHED!   As I was leaving the room I shut one cupboard tight ............. and.............. the damn door fell off the track.

Do you think I can get it back on track??!!!  No of course not !!!  WHY would anything with this project be simple????   But I keep telling myself the damn door just fell off ........ easily.......... so how difficult can it be to get it back??  DAMN difficult.  It is now resting against one of the walls waiting for W........ hopefully he will be able to get the damn thing back on track.  (for someone who rarely remembers to close the damn doors it surprises me that having the doors open is driving me CRAZY!!)

Yesterday was a crash and burn day........ I woke up at 8:40 (which for me is REALLY sleeping in) and laid down at 2 for a little rest - after only doing groceries - and slept till 4.......... 

Today isn't shaping up to be any better.......... that pile of housework and yard work is still waiting for me........... why can't there be fairies to do the damn chores ........ then I wouldn't feel so damn guilty about doing nothing............. 


On that note........... off I go to tackle something............ anything ......... and feel like I am a productive member of society............

 

Mundane News

I went back to work a week ago........ a week ago today. I went back to work against my doctor's advice......... though she signed the back to work papers she warned me I really wasn't ready. PFFFFFFFFFT What did she know???!! I was feeling fit as a fiddle... right as rain... perfect.

Besides I have this work ethic that says .... If I am well enough to play (and my god I have played!!) I am well enough to return to work.

WRONG !!!!!

As the doc explained to me.. I was fit to play and socialize and do all the little household things that need doing........... because......... I was able to put my feet up .. have a little snooze... recharge the batteries in between all that activity.

I can't do that at school.

All that to say it was a rough few days.

On Monday the head of HR called me over some legal issues that came up last week......... and then told me that THE BOARD (dontcha love that generic word) had decided I shouldn't be working full time yet. THE BOARD decided that I needed someone to come in and relieve me at 3:00 and I was to go home and put my feet up.

Panic hit. Did they think I couldn't do my job??? I couldn't live on part time salary!!! Sometimes I can be so damn dense!!! No THE BOARD knew I could do my job....... and they wanted to make sure I would be doing my job for a long time. And they understood that the money was why I came back early in the first place. They were insisting I take it slow. In fact they insisted so vehemently - they even agreed to pay the salary for the woman who is replacing me!!! AND I would still get full pay!!

Talk about smack me upside the head. Sometimes I really do find it hard to accept that people see me as a valuable commodity (LOL yup.. I am a commodity)

So now I work a couple of hours in the morning.. and a couple of hours in the afternoon and come home and have a nap. I feel like I am 3 years old again... I figure the next thing will be cookies and milk when I wake up.

So .. health wise I am muddling along. I figure by July (cheeky grin) when I board the plane for my visit to The Heron Clan, I will be fit as a fiddle ........ 100%... my old self again.

On the BDSM front..... my dance card is full. What an amazing feeling for this old bird !!!

I am all " a twitter" right now, because on Friday the S couple (remember them SS and S.S ??) they are taking me to a local club where they are putting on a demo on spanking and all the implements that go with it. AND I am to be ....... can you guess?? ........ the spankee !! What fun!!

As a dear friend says "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams....... Live the life you imagined" ...........I am...... and loving every minute of it !

Not much new

Well I kinda think I have filled this blog with all sorts of angst and good news and news and blah blah words rather regularly these past 8 weeks or so.

And I think I am slowing down.

My "dance card" is rather full these days so hopefully I will have lots of chatty news coming up soon.

For now I will bring you up to date on the more mundane things in my life....

The doctor's appointment went well on Wednesday - most of the viral infection of the " I wanna die" sort is gone. I am still suffering from sleepiness - honestly I was starting to think I had mono - but apparently not. I will be home for another week - maybe two - I see the doctor again next week. But she cleared me to socialize and party .. ok she didn't exactly say that.. but she did say I could return to normal activities......... just make sure I nap when I need to ...... (that is not a hard prescription to follow!!) so I will nap.. and I will party and I will get my house cleaned and the laundry done and the groceries bought......... YAY me!

My baby daughter turned 30 yesterday - guess she isn't my "baby" daughter anymore. I have to wonder where those 30 years are gone?? (and try very hard NOT to think how old that makes me!!) The family celebrations are this weekend - and because I have been under the weather - eldest daughter stepped up to the plate and is hosting the celebration. YAY eldest daughter !!

I have been out three times this week for coffee with some BDSM friends. It is really nice to start getting back into the swing of things. Lots of new discussions happening.. lots of challenges to think about .. lots of new ways of thinking/acting/seeing things to mull over in my addled brain......... but a whole new world IS indeed opening up and it is fun and exciting.

There is a HUGE event I am going to this weekend. And the chap who did my clit piercing will be performing - I am looking forward to seeing his show. I am sure it will be something to push the limits of my mind. (He is really into some kinky stuff !!)

Tonight I am going out for dinner with friends. And I really need to get the house spruced up so I can invite them back for coffee. I love entertaining and it looks as though there will be more and more opportunities to do that

The sun is shining ...... the weatherman is promising some nice spring weather...
God's in His heaven and all's right with the world.

Adventure

There are a whole lot of "labels" in the BDSM world - i am sure i don't have to tell you.......... from slave to submissive to Sir to Master to Dominant to bottom to Top to switch and on and on it goes.

There is also ........in my humble opinion......... a certain amount of snobbishness and clique-ness that goes with each of those labels.

In my world the submissive was always lower on the food chain than the slave. The Top lower than the Master/Sir. And the poor switch - well no one could ever quite figure out where to stick them... but boy oh boy they sure did treat them with a considerable amount of disdain.

During this time of transition for me (from collared to free) i have maintained my status of submissive. i have wrestled with the question of "can i be submissive without having a Dominant in my life" and had no problem at all answering YES. You see i am submissive in my heart. i can't be anything else but that. Submissive is my nature.

i have struggled with the thought that i was doomed to a solitary life until such time as i found a new Dominant / Lord and Master to rule my world. If you read yesterday's post of advise that i have been given over these last many weeks, you would have noticed more than one mention of "adventure".

Now yes i am fully aware you can have all sorts of adventures with a Dominant in your life.......... but boy oh boy the adventures that open up to you when you don't have one is boggling my mind.

Last week i started to roll the term "bottom" around in my head. It didn't taste too badly .......... no bolt of lightening came out of the sky and struck me dead. On Saturday evening driving home from the party with my "party buddy" we were discussing my "situation" and he was listing off the advantages to being a "bottom"........ he was teasing me about being a slut - NO NO not that sort of slut!!! - but a pain slut. He was pointing out the advantages of playing with different people and getting my fix for endorphins and discovering the many different styles and methods out there that i have been more or less isolated from. (did you all follow that run on sentence??!!)

The last couple of days i have been thinking long and hard about this "bottom" idea. It was a whisper of a thought.......

Then my "play buddy" contacted me and we talked .. i know he was feeling me out. The Domme that had played with him on the weekend comes complete with a HusbandDom.......... who at this point in time does not seem to have any one bottom to play with publicly

It was suggested we might all go out for dinner on Friday evening and get to know one another better. Seemed like a plan to me.

Well as plans go ....... it got changed. Instead of dinner on Friday (or maybe i should say "as well as dinner on Friday") we went out for coffee yesterday. We four talked and talked and talked - for hours.

The three of them spent a good bit of time explaining to me how this could work.. and i slowly came to the realization that being a "bottom" can have some major advantages.

First - i get to go to play parties with a fairly good chance i am gonna get to play.

Second - i will have a "chaperon" so to speak during these parties.

Third - there are no expectations of anything other than a fun social time - my life is my life.

The term "leather family" keeps rolling around in my head....... but that might not be the right term. (can you guess i LOVE labels and terms??!!)

But for now............... whatever the label or the term........ i think i may have found the answer to my dilemma .......... i am gonna be a " bottom" for the next little while.... taste the forbidden fruits that have always dangled just out of reach....... and enjoy myself.

Hell i am gonna have an adventure !!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

ummmmmmmm - does this mean the title of the blog changes again..
from "Healing Journey" to the Adventurous Journey??

Just a Quickie

Ya know........ sometimes quickies are good... they just tickle the fancy and leave you wanting more...

This morning i received an email from dear swan wondering where i had disappeared to (very nice to know that i am missed when i am absent from writing for more than day or so) and it motivated me (the email that is) to post a quickie...... just so no one thinks i have disappeared completely into the great black void that is the internet........

i have a bug.... yeah another bug... Actually though, the last one (it appears) was not a bug but a gall bladder attack.. (it is amazing what blood tests reveal about you ) ....... and on top of that i had the goodbye party and a night Board meeting... and a Halloween party to plan for 100 kids.. and oh yeah.. a Halloween party tonite that Sir and i are going to... in Vermont.

The party at school involved numerous spooky games ... from "The Great Mummy wrap" ...



to the making of "Monster Hands"



to the eyeball hunt in cold spaghetti.......



And of course "Norm" was there to hand out the prizes to all the children!!




Tonite i am dressing up as O from the Story of O.. in the final scene.. with the owl mask and black cape .... (naked underneath for those of you who didn't see the movie) .... and hopefully i won't catch pneumonia from being naked in the cold...

with any luck i should have a good post to make for my Monday Morning Report :)

until then.....................

HAPPY HAUNTING !!!

Quiet times..

For some reason unknown to me.. i am going through a quiet time...

At work - i am up todate YAY !! and nothing pending.. and the kids seem to be subdued for now (i am not so optimistic to think this is more than just a phase)

At home it is peaceful... the calm before the storm.. i guess i could be spring cleaning.. but i like the peace and the quiet ....... the spring fever hasn't hit me yet - especially when dear Buffalo out west says they are having snow and sleet and freezing rain.. and being the good friend he is.. he is sending it down to us... and i do feel Mother Nature may just be lulling us into a calm quiet place before she lambastes us with one last nasty winter storm..

Things are quiet and calm with Sir and i .. actually i feel we couldn't be in a better place.... mostly i think - cause i have come to the epiphany that we ARE doing 24/7 and i have stopped pushing for some unattainable fantasy life....

i am working on the next submission for Behind the Screen... and though i hate to say it... the images that dance around in my head while i write make me horny as hell.... (that is NOT to say they will do anything for you !!! Just that they are doing it for me.. and i am the one who counts right?? - cheeky grin)

So - lacking anything of substance to write about today..... i thought i would post a few pics over on the Photo Journal - please be advised these are NOT pictures of me.. but pictures Sir has sent me from His many lists He is on.....

Tomorrow - perhaps inspiration will hit.. and i will once again have something of substance to regale you with..............

Veggies anyone??

Before i go very far with this blog...... i want to add an extra advisory .. that this blog.. this entry to this blog is for ADULTS ONLY !!!

ok.. now that all the children have left the room.........

It is amazing what one does when boredom hits. Last Sunday - when i was feeling crappy and Sir was off on a "play date"...... i flipped on the television and started flipping channels. i stumbled across a show .. entitled 1000 Ways to Die.

Have any of you watched this show??? oh my god.. i sat there watching and thinking to myself - this is like watching a train wreck. Not believing half the stuff i saw.. despite the fact they had doctors and other specialists documenting the whys and hows of each individual accident.. i still didn't believe it. i went to "Urban Legends" and couldn't find one nibble on the acts i saw re-enacted. Therefore i have to assume these documentations of death by stupidity have to be real.

BUT there was one that really made me sit up and pay attention. There was a story of a woman who masturbated regularly - a nympho i believed they called her. (rolling eyes) ..
Turns out the woman went grocery shopping and picked up some big carrots....

Now we all know that carrots are the right shape..often the right size.. and more often than not in the fridge. Carrots are a favourite topic between Cloud and Sir....... carrots as dildos - not how to cook them.










Anyway - getting back to the TV show.. turns out this woman used a nice big carrot to masturbate with............. and managed to kill herself doing it !! i couldn't believe it.. turns out .. according to their medical expert .......... the carrot had not been cleaned.. nor had a condom been put on it.. turns out there was a sharp ridge.... and the sharp ridge cut the interior of her vagina........ she was pumping that old carrot in and out.. quite vigorously.. and in the process - pumped into her blood stream an air bubble... that traveled to her heart and killed her.

So be warned you vegetable lovers out there........ clean your carrots.. put condoms on them... protect yourself.. it would seem one needs to practice safe sex with carrots too !!!

A New Day

i guess it was about 50 years ago.......... i was walking down a street in Florida beside my parents....... i remember this street .. this walk... like it was yesterday.. it is an image that has haunted me for 50 years..........

And an elderly black gentleman was walking towards us. Now we were 3 abreast walking along that sidewalk, and as soon as my parents saw someone walking towards us they moved into a single line....... but still this gentleman stepped down into the street to walk past us. and i remember being stunned... i remember asking why?? there was room. And i remember my dad explaining why........

because he was black and we were white.

i was young........ but i got it........ and i didn't like it .. not one little bit.

Yesterday i turned to a woman in the staff room.. and i said.. "i never thought i would live to see this day" and she turned to me and agreed.

From the gutter to the White House.........

i don't know what kind of president Obama will make....... and i know there are a huge number of folks that don't think he will get the job done.............

BUT i don't care........ for me .. that wasn't the point of yesterday......

It was a day for the history books.. a day that reaffirmed my belief that all things are indeed possible.. if we all work for it........ a day that spelled hope in bold letters.......

it was a good day.

anal anyone?

i just thought a wee update might be in order - considering yesterday's post.
First i am fine ! it took a day but i am back to my feisty self... the employee hid at home yesterday (which didn't really surprise me) under the pretext of having tonsillitis, she is due back today. i did contact the union and Mr. M (my principal) Mr. M contacted Human Resources (our Board has this safe school policy that applies to one and all so we will see how affective it is)
And i want to say ........ that i am fully aware that i really did not have anything to do with the melt down......... i was just the catalyst for something else.. (i am always saying i am a tough old bird - but this time.... well not so tough) i believe this person needs major help in a major way...... but that is not up to me to suggest ..........

And so life goes on...............

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now.. because i know there are one or two readers that are very "anal" so to speak (cheeky grin) you know who YOU are !!! i thought you might just enjoy this lil tidbit that was sent to me yesterday.....................




First year students at Texas A & m's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them " In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:

The FIRST is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body"

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing" he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said,

"The SECOND most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

another bit of newsy news........ Sir, Cloud, Agdistis and myself are heading off to our Nation's Capital early tomorrow morning for some shopping and then a visit to our favourite private club tomorrow night......... so i will be AWOL until at least Sunday - maybe Monday........
And as Monday is December 1st.. and as i have every intention of entering the Holidailies again this year........ i am going to start dressing up The Journey for the holiday season. Those of you who are "grinches" ......... well suck it up !!! This is my favourite holiday.. and my blog !!! (can you hear me going nah nah nah !!! ???)

See you all on the flip side............

Lucky lucky sub

Never has there been .. in the history of BDSM .. a submissive as lucky as i am......... no way!! no how !!!

i have a secret love.......... passion........ obsession?? It is football. You can keep hockey.. you can keep baseball.. you can definitely keep golf.......... but when it comes to football.. move over Charlie Brown..... cause i am hooked !!!

i told you all that last weekend Sir took me back to His place on Saturday so that i could watch the Eastern Finals ....... (i don't have sports channels - no point when i only love one sport !!) And our Alouettes won !!!!!!!!!!! Be still my heart !!

i mentioned in passing to Sir.. that it wasn't fair that the Canadiens hockey team has all these supporters with flags flying from their cars.. and the Alouettes who made it to the Grey Cup game don't appear to have even ONE fan flying their flag !! AND i mentioned in passing that i would love to have an Alouettes tshirt......so when it is hockey day at school and everyone else is sporting a Canadien's tshirt.. i could pull on my Alouettes shirt and be a proud fan !!! (wrong sport but ask me if i care??!!)

Now i am betting you have all guessed where i am going with this.......... but you might be wrong !!!

Today i was having one of those....... "why in god's name do i do this job" days........ and i got back to my office with my lunch balanced precariously on a pile of papers.. and noticed i had 4 telephone messages (the answering machine is MY enemy !!) so .. i dutifully hit the play back button and was listening to the messages while i ate lunch...... and there was one message from Sir..... so noisy and garbled that i couldn't make it out.. except it said to call His cell ......... the next message was also from Sir... also garbled .. but i did make it out.. call His cell NOW.........

so ........ being the dutiful slave.. i called His cell NOW.

To find out that He was standing in a store i think........ and that He had bought me an Alouettes tshirt.. AND an Alouettes flag for my car............

BUT................

better than all that..........

He wanted to know if i wanted to go to the Grey Cup Game on Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD !!!!

THE GREY CUP GAME !!!

i am going to the GREY CUP game !!!!

i have the very best Sir in the whole entire world !!!! And AC (Anthony Calvillo) the Quarter Back is my second great love .. and i am gonna get to watch him in person.. IN PERSON.. on Sunday.......... ohhhhhhh be still my heart !!!

Just tell me he isn't the best looking Quarter Back in football !!!!

i really honestly can't believe it........

I AM GOING TO THE GREY CUP GAME !!!

Now if Sir can work some BDSM play time in with the game... this coming weekend is gonna be perfect......... P E R F E C T ...... i say !!!

pssssssst know what?? while i was sleeping Sir snuck into the house and left the tickets, the t-shirt and the flag on the kitchen table.......... my god i am spoiled !!!!

Surprises..

yeah.. it is Saturday.. and there is a post to my blog.. surprise !! surprise !!! surprise !!!

Actually i was thinking on Friday morning.. bright and early.. about the weekend.. and i was kinda bubbling over.. and fidgety.. and excited.. and thought if i didn't share i would bust !!!

Ever since i was a kid.. i wanted a surprise birthday....... and people have tried.. yes sireeee they have tried.. but it is pretty hard to surprise someone - well me- when it comes to birthdays ... cause i am not that senile - i do remember when it is !! i know the ones who love me want to give me my dream.......... and so any suspicious setting of dates for 'dinner' raises my radar... so .. after 50 some odd birthdays not one surprise...... until this year.

i asked for.. yes asked for! ... a weekend away for my birthday. i explained after 2 weddings and a frantic September.... i will be more than ready to have a weekend away.. a weekend to relax and enjoy life....... and what better weekend to do that than my birthday weekend......... and good lord.. it actually falls ON a weekend this year !!!

So Sir and i sat down and we planned out my birthday weekend retreat.. we picked and booked the hotel.. i told my girls i was going away (sad face on youngest daughter who really really wanted to celebrate on THE day this year !!) ... no surprise.. it was a done deal !

Then....... well then the stock markets started doing roller coaster rides.. and the Canadian loonie took a nose dive.. and Sir and i talked about it. It didn't make sense to go down to the states for a weekend - when it would be so damn expensive. Sir and i decided we would stay in Canada.. find somewhere up here to hide out..........

i waited for Him to tell me what He had decided.. and waited.. and waited.. and nothing.

Finally i was told what i needed to know............
1) i must be up early on Saturday and ready to go by 9 am
2) it is a long drive (of course anything over an hour or so is long to me)
3) i was instructed to pack the toys i would like to bring - toys??!!
4) i was told to pack the Story of O collar
5) i was told i may wear normal vanilla clothes
6) i was told to pack my black see through dress thingy
and that is all i was told........

so yes i know it is my birthday.. and yes i know i am getting my weekend away.......

BUT .. that is all i know.. and i am bursting at the seams.. i am excited.. i think Sir may have actually done it.. created a surprise birthday for me !! right under my nose !!!

Just wait for the Monday Morning Report.. i will tell all........... till then .. i will fidget and wiggle and enjoy the excitement of the surprise !!!! And revel in the surprise.. and the planning.. and the sheer joy of being owned and loved !!!

Camping........

We are due to head off to our BDSM summer camp on Friday morning...........

Now don't get me wrong.... i love camping.. i really truly do.. but i am what they call a "fair weather camper" .. i do not DO camping in the rain .. the cold .. the muck.

This is my idea of ideal camping.........



with sunny days.. swimming pools and hot tubs.. and oh yeah.. a whole group of kink related friends to share our time with...............

This is more likely my reality.............


The last time we went to camp (two years ago - because last year i managed to get the flu the day we were leaving.. ) it was so cold .. so damn cold that i wore sweat pants with leggings.. wool socks.. turtleneck sweaters with hooded sweatshirts over the top......and slept in the same clothes i wore all day.. cause it was even colder at night !!!







All the wonderful equipment that just screamed "use me" went to waste - for the most part.. the little play that Sir and i did .. was done with me in my sweat shirt.. sweat pants and leggings down around my knees.. with my teeth chattering......hanging rather unceremoniously from the cross ....... the minute the session was over.. up came the leggings and pants........ and the shivering was not from a fun session - oh it had been fun sort of - but the shivering was from trying desperately to get warm again........

Sir went over the toys with me this past weekend - packing all sorts of fun toys - and images danced around in my head..... and then screeched to a halt when i thought about all the clothing i would pack.. because.......... the long range forecast is for rain and cold.......

Sir says we will make the best of it..... i say .. pack the heaters and the comforters and the sweat pants and the woolen socks !!!

and i know i am sulking and NOT being a graceful serene subbie.......... but i had such high hopes for this summer holiday...... shoot me now.. honestly .. i shouldn't have any sort of hopes... never mind high ones..........

This weekend camping was to be the highlight of the summer... my last time alone with Sir before school starts again....and the next wedding swings into high gear..... the next weekend He is off on a train convention thingy ..soooooo this was it.. the BIG weekend.......so shoot me for wanting to have a little fun.. a whole weekend of fun.. not a bit here a bit there - where we can wiggle in some BDSM time..

i will now take my sulky pouty whiney self off and organise the last of the camping gear...

Everyone say a prayer or two that the summer gods find it in their cold hearts to make the sun shine at least for one day!!!

~~~~~~~~~~
oh yeah and never fear...... i have written a few posts scheduled to come up each day we are away........ just so you don't all forget me (cheeky grin) now how could you forget me??!! and all my profane (oooooops that should read profound) words??!!!

7 years of loving Him

July 29th....... a day that will go down in History.......

On this day in :

1848 - Niagara Falls - Completion of first suspension bridge over the Niagara Gorge

1873 - Quebec - First party of 285 Icelandic settlers bound for 'friendly' Manitoba reach Canada

1907 - London England - Lord Baden Powell forms the Boy Scouts with assistance from Canadian financier Lord Strathcona

1981 - La Prairie, Que, Alex Baumann sets his first world swimming record in the 200 metre Individual Medley

1985 - Montreal - Jacques Lemaire resigns as coach of the Montreal Canadiens

1992 - Canadians hold Sarajevo Airport for Humanitarian Flights


AND

2001 - Sir collared morningstar

7 Years of loving Him !!!

Announcing.........

A lot of movies have claimed to be BDSM orientated... and yeah some of them have lived up to their claims.. (Story of O, The Secretary) But truthfully there was always something a little ....... ummmm... i don't know.. fictional about them??





i was reading the other day.... over on swan's blog...... that there is a new movie - documentary actually - coming out entitled BDSM: It's Not What You Think.

i am including both the movie link........"kinksters confront stigma and stereotypes"

and the blog link

i know i am gonna keep my eyes and ears open for a possible release of the DVD (don't think Sir and i will be making it down to San Francisco for the premier in June........

youuuuuu whooooooooo

Didja think i disappeared into the great black void known as the internet??

No such luck - i am still around and still having fun ....

let's see what fun and interesting stuff have i been up to.......

ummmmmmm.. let me think.. oh yeah i went back to work (half days until i can get in to see my doctor) ....... had to deal with a bloody grievance with the Union...... weirdest thing that.. i belong to the same Union as my employees - see any conflict of interest there??? survived the meeting ......... filed my own grievance about conflict of interest (i can be such a shit disturber when i want to be !!) am still working my way through the mountain of paper work and deadlines......

had great plans to work on my back patio this weekend (if i can just get the damn knee to kneel!) but Mother Nature is thwarting my plans by bringing in rain .......

Sir dropped by unexpectedly and very briefly this afternoon (so brief i didn't even get a swat on the bum ) ............ i was surprised to see Him.... and met Him at the door in this lil clingy undershirt thingy i wore to work (under a jacket WITH a bra .. no sense in shocking the staff too much!) but the bra was off and i was prancing around in the clingy undershirt thing and panties .. not really thinking much of it..... when i noticed that Sir's eyes kept straying to my tits......

After He left i glanced in the mirror and realized the material rubbing across my nipples had made them hard......... (which is putting it mildly) and they were poking through the material...... and i blushed.. standing there looking at myself in the mirror and thinking about Sir looking at them..... i blushed!! i remembered when i first met Sir how i couldn't be naked even alone in the house...... how He worked and worked on me to get me used to being nude.. even having me sit each evening in front of the web cam naked while we chatted.........and so i wonder why it is... today ... i felt the same embarrassment i used to feel at being naked......

And that dear readers is about it for all the fun i am having here in the Great White North ..............

Message in a bottle

A few years ago a gentleman passed through our lives here in the Great White North - a gentleman that set the submissives' hearts a flutter ..... He was a very intelligent gentleman who gave a lot of thought to his beliefs and his philosophies - especially on this life style.

i remember one rather long discussion He and i had about my piercing........ or i should say - my wanting to be pierced. Of all the folks that were involved in the decision He was the one who made the most sense to me........ and to this day - all these years later - His are the words that still ring in my memory.

He passed through our world up here....... made friends.. and moved on. i remember feeling an emptiness of sorts after He had left........ and though, yes we have emails.. we have phones - god we even have planes to take us to visit.... it never really happened.... things just sort of petered out.

Then .. very unexpectedly one day - He left a comment on this blog. i couldn't believe my eyes !!! Considering all the blogs on the internet.. He had stumbled upon mine...... and had left (as usual) a thought provoking challenging comment.

A few private emails passed between us and then again.. quiet....... and i moved on again.

Until yesterday - when what to my surprise - Sir told me this friend had contacted us again - to announce that He had started His very own blog............not fiction - but real life with his muse.............

i would very much like to introduce you all to "R" and his blog - visiting my muse
i have also added his link to the list on the right - under BDSM blogs

~~~~~~~~~~~
now in about 3 hours my day will be filled with 'brides-to-be" and 'grooms-to-be" and grand kids and a birthday luncheon and noise and laughter.......

Tomorrow bright and early Sir will be taking me for (hopefully) my last biopsy.... i am asking once again - and hopefully for the last time - that everyone who believes will clap loudly and longly ........... and that this indeed will be my last biopsy - my last treatment - for a long long time......... (hopefully never again !!)