swan - over on the Heron Clan - has been writing a series of blog entries on fixing a damaged relationship........ she said (and rightly so ) that there is no conventional help for those of us in a kinky relationship........ hard to find marriage counseling when the husband (partner) is a Dom. Her hope is (and correct me if I am wrong swan) that writing these blog entries will have a twofold purpose......... 1) to help her sort out her thinking and 2) perhaps these entries will be "bread crumbs" for those who come after - looking for some sort of direction .. or just to know that someone else has gone through the same thing.
Her writings have made me stop and think - and that doesn't happen very often. The other thing I realized the other day was that those of us who agree with swan - offer up our advise and comments - are mostly of "an age".
That made me start thinking differently about the whole mess (hers mine and others)
Yesterday's blog about nicknames - and to some extent - attitudes was the soft stirrings of an idea - an opinion. I am beginning to think that when we are young - we all tend to believe (and live) our own hype. Like so much that happens when we are young.. we tend to believe that we are invincible. Submissives are the best ever - kneeling at the feet of their doms.. Doms are the best ever - endless energy and sex drive and strength (and seeming wisdom)
Then something happens.......... between the time we are 30 somethings and the time we are 50/60 somethings...........
Life is what happens.
One day we wake up and discover that old joints don't kneel indefinitely anymore.... the erection we once were able to sport for hours - or have daily - are harder and harder to find - we discover illnesses we never dreamed of .......... we discover we are vulnerable.
And I think with that vulnerability comes a sense of failure... some of us (perhaps) run faster trying to find what we have lost .... others succumb to the seeming failures and withdraw - from the lifestyle and perhaps from the ones who love them most. And some of us try (very hard) to find a new way - an older more mature way of doing what we have done for years.
It's this search for newer ways to do familiar things that we