This morning I was thinking about my 'thankful for' at the end of my blog each day... and I thought it doesn't fit.. not on me... it's truthfully not my style..and I'm going to drop it.
That got me thinking about all the things I have tried and dropped cause it just didn't fit me. I tried being a 'slave' - OHHHHH how I wanted it ... how I was sure it was a perfect fit for me... after quite a few years I realized it wasn't me - if I was gonna be honest it didn't fit at all !!!
I had more than a few people push me to Dom...... and I tried it -- but oh dear god!! that was a terrible fit!!!
Then I realized I wanted to try poly - it seemed like a perfect fit for me... I thought it would be the best of both worlds -- time to be me and free and time to serve ... I tried it I honestly did.. it helps I guess that I am not the jealous sort... and learned to share a long time ago (OR maybe I just didn't feel the need to commit fully to one person) BUT after awhile I realized it wasn't that good a fit either......
I had requests from folks to write some fiction and I did.... I even had a separate blog for my fiction called "Behind the Screen" ...... but it wasn't a good fit... not really. Oh I wrote a lot of fiction (or maybe fantasies I had) - but more than not I felt embarrassed by what I wrote and It just didn't feel like a good fit..........
There have been more 'fittings' some good some not so good..... I used to feel like I was failing when I would drop something and move on ... but over the years I have come to see it as more of a positive ... after all how boring would it be if we picked one comfortable outfit - and purchased multiple outfits the exact same - same colour same size same fit?? No Life was meant to be lived to the fullest .......
Life is good when you can try on all sorts of different experiences ...
I can relate to one sentiment, but not the other. I certainly do (and encourage others to) try new things. It is the best way to live fully. The thing is with me, I find I like almost everything I try, which sounds good, but really isn't. You end up very scattered, with adequate knowledge of a lot of things, but no real "uber-expertise" in any of them. You also accumulate a lot of 'stuff'.
ReplyDeleteRosa is like you and she can discard things when she's "done with them". I can't seem to discard anything unless I am completely convinced it's not for me.....(the only glaring examples I can think of were golf and saltwater boating/fishing.) Even to this day, there are things I just eliminated due to cost or time, but would easily resume if I could split into more people. ( As a comic book nerd, I have always talked about having my own superpower. Some are very thrilling and attractive, but there is one minor character, 'Jamie Madrox' the "Multiple Man" who can divide into exact duplicates of himself. I often joke I wish I could do that.....or be like Dr. Manhattan in the Watchmen and work on several things at once. Not multi-task but truly be fully focused, but in separate bodies.)
But whether one adopts something tried, or discards it, the "trying" part IS the most crucial part.
I have the same attitude with hobbies as I do with everything else... did quilting made numerous quilts (all by hand I might add) for myself and family and friends... did sculpture ... did ceramics... did scrapbooking and card making..... did them all and moved on.. I have the knowledge to do them all again IF the spirit moved me - but none of the supplies..
ReplyDeleteI just kinda want to try everything once ...
I have to say I don't think I've been drawn to anything else. It took me long enough to feel comfortable in my own skin,but still working on growing in it.
ReplyDeleteAs far as hobbies go, I tend to be injured out of them or life just takes me in a different direction- though I still have all the things required to pick them back up.
Personally I don't think there s anything at all wrong with trying something and then moving on if it doesn't fit. It is not at all failure. It's better to have tried and figure out it isn't a good fit for you than to not try at all. I agree it is and can be a positive. That is one way we figure out hat it is that does fit and what we do need and want.
ReplyDeleteI had experiences over the years with subs, especially in the beginning, that I quickly found out we weren't a good fit for each other. Those experiences helped me see the different aspects of what others may need, while also helping me figure out what kind of Dom I really am and need to be. Even though those situations didn't work out and we moved on, there was good that came from them in that it helped me learn more about myself, who I am, and who I needed to be... and be with. So they weren't failures, but rather more like steps along the way as a process of elimination to finding what sticks.
Thank you for your comment - your first I think? I think my problem has been (re the trying something and moving on ) that I felt like an imposter... I was always so devoted till I wasn't...
DeleteBUT I am learning that that isn't necessarily a bad thing... and if I'm experimenting/exploring I am enjoying life :)
Oh hi DV haven't seen / read you in a while.
DeleteAs for my experience with trying - I agree with KD. the TRYING Is the most important part. Having said that, i'm not particularly adventurous, altho if I am keen / curious about something enough, i will usually try a bit of it out, often in a safe / cautious manner, be it BDSM / sex related or just in vanilla life. Sometimes i chuck it after i decide its not for me, other times I shelve it till I can make up my mind, or if i think i might want to try again as i'm not sure how i feel about it.
Hi Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteSorry I am late to the party. Been a busy weekend so am just checking in with blog friends now.
I think it's great to try new things and new experiences. You never know unless you do right? I'm guilty of not trying new things. Something I should work on maybe.
Hugs
Roz