February Blues?

 

So let me ask you - February Blues?? Lockdown/Covid Blues?? Back Pain?? or a combination of all three?

I'm in such a funk...... I haven't put make up on in ages!!  I haven't fussed at all over my appearance in ages.... talk about quarantine casual!!!  I just seem to be going through the motions of daily living ya know?? 

Yesterday all the talk shows were talking about Valentine's Day - and how to celebrate it during the lock down... and I had an EUREKA moment.  I looked in the mirror - like really looked - and was aghast at what looked back at me.  This winter has taken a toll on my skin - it's soooooo dry and I haven't been using any of the lotions/creams ... my hair is long cause no hairdressers ya know and it sticks up all over the place... I look - well not ugly - but pretty damn close.  

So I turned on the shower and scrubbed and washed and scrubbed some more.  I moisturized every inch of my body.  I made an effort to blow dry my hair and try to tame the sticky up bits.  I even put on some mascara and lipstick.  (I mean who the hell wears lipstick now anyway?? You put a mask over your mouth anyway and it doesn't show and it smears all over the face mask) I even sprayed some of my favourite perfume in all the right places and I felt a little bit better.

Then Sir Steve came home....... 

I don't really know what I was expecting...... but I kinda thought he might say something about my appearance .......... or that I smelled good - something ya know? BUT nothing... we just went through the evening routine.... and I felt blue... like why did I even try?? 

I know I am frustrated with being in the house day after day - not seeing anyone - ANYONE - except Sir Steve and the lil one.  I even mentioned to Sir Steve that maybe? when this lock down is lifted we might see if eldest daughter would like to have a sleepover weekend......... I just need - maybe we both need - something to look forward to ya know? And a trip to see eldest daughter and SIL would definitely be a change of scenery.  BUT then eldest daughter messaged me (talk about timing ya know?) and in our conversation she talked about the stress of work... and how SIL's son is coming for dinner every Sunday night....... and I just kinda did a mental shrug.  This is not the time to be visiting them.........I'm not sure how I could handle worrying about the higher risk of covid..

Then there's the back / leg pain........ I have stopped all pain killers and sleeping pills....  and it's doable .... before the pain was definitely 10 - but now - if I'm honest - it's only about 3... manageable......... BUT it wears on my nerves ... I'm sure some of you live with chronic pain and can kinda understand what I am talking about....

I am not eating very well either.... and I'm not sure what it is .. but food just doesn't taste good any more... I eat about half what I normally eat... have no cravings not even for sweets...... on the plus side I am losing some of this quarantine weight I have put on since last March - YAY!  but lack of food may be contributing to my lack of energy? I don't know.. 

I've always had 'February Blues' but this year it just seems worse.......