Last week I spent a lot of time trying to describe my life style choices.. what it looks like.. what it feels like it.. what it sounds like. I had hoped to inspire some conversation... some participation. That didn't happen. When the week was over my brain hurt.... I waffled on putting up the pictures on Sunday... do I?? don't I?? I had a pretty good feeling I was gonna shock some folks. Windy put it best in the comment section "when I was brand new to blog land, I landed on your blog and got the poop scared out of me and thought what did I just sign up for?"
I am sure I might have shocked more than a few folks...... cause ya know... most of the days on here I am writing about home schooling an 8 year old - cleaning and cooking and these days covid ........ I think I come across as Suzie Homemaker complete with the mop and the apron.
BUT ya know -- that other side of me .. the kinky side is still part of me.. the Suzie Homemaker me. Some days I get really fed up with the picture people have of me - in real life I mean - they see this prim and proper older lady........... GAH!! There are days I want to scream - 'wanna see my tattoos, my clit piercing?!" Just to shock them. BUT I won't - I was brought up a "lady".
and as I am writing this - I realize I shouldn't have agreed to the planned discussion between Windy and PK - there is no way in hell a 'masochist' should expect to be understood by those that aren't masochistic or Sadistic....tolerated maybe but understood - nope not gonna happen.
So after last week's fiasco (or what I think was a total fiasco) I am going back to Suzie Homemaker entries with a side of implied play.
I am sorry to read your " experiment " didn't go the way you thought/wanted it to.
ReplyDeletePersonally I would have said something bur out of respect for you ( and not wanting to get into trouble not that I do ). This is YOUR blog and YOU have the right to write or place any photos YOU WANT to do and if people are shocked SO BE IT!!! If they don't like it, then they should leave and delete the bookmark.
So, I strongly believe YOU should BE the person YOU want to be/are and be dammed with the rest of the World !!!!
BE YOURSELF morningstar and enjoy !!!!!
Warren
oh trust me Warren - I have no intention of changing who I am... I can't change and you know that... BUT I can be less explicit on my blog.. water it down... it's really not important for the 'world' to know everything that goes on between Sir Steve and myself...
ReplyDeleteI will still enjoy all the things that float my boat (grinning)
I could have said plenty last week concerning being married to a Sadist. Though knife play is not one of his likes.. I refer to my husband as Dexter because often when he is done, 'taking' there is blood splatter on the walls, ceiling, lampshades from impact play. I once wrote a post called The Beast and the Beating ( or something like that) and another blogger who frequents here commented on how it was too much for her ( I really didn't include much to be honest). I was a bit taken aback because I do believe a submissive can learn from a masochist ( I identify as the former not the latter) also that they are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Sharing broadens our horizons. I never would have thought I was *a* submissive years ago, nor would I have ever imagined B was a Sadist in hiding. He still has issues letting loose - perhaps if identified as a masochist it would be easier for him
ReplyDeleteI didn't comment last week because I rarely do on blogs whose authors don't respond to comments- not because I found anything you said or posted shocking in the least.
Willie
willie -- you are right - maybe IF I answered more comments I would get more comments.. and after last week I decided to try answering comments more frequently (it helps that we're locked down again)
ReplyDeleteI nearly jumped for joy when I read the words Sadist and masochist in your comment!! OMG a kindred spirit maybe???
IF I promise to try and answer your comments will you come back and 'play' with me so I don't feel so alone?? (grinning)
Thanks for leaving your comment
Hi there. As someone who you know has recently experienced a similar feeling of "ok just bared my soul to the world......and now?????" >cricket-cricket-cricket< I can definitely relate to your frustration.
ReplyDeleteHowever, to say that anything you wrote shocked me? Far from it. In fact I don't feel I have the capacity to be shocked by open, honest sexual adventures of whatever nature. Even when I read about something I personally don't do, I still find what others DO do to be fascinating.
However I need to reiterate something that has been said, and believe me, I am not doing so to make you feel bad. But I do think it's important for clarity in terms of the frustrations of not getting a real discussion going. Not just a "good post" or "very cool" but a real discussion.
As you know I DO respond to every single comment I get, whether they are positive, negative, or neutral. And despite this I feel I still can't get a good discussion going on too many occasions. Antoher thing I also try to do faithfully is respond to posts from people who respond to mine. I come here even though female-sub adventures are not my main interest.
But you do have to sort of give to get and even then it's no guarantee. I too wrote a two-part soul-baring, double post o my lifelong experience in having my sexuality controlled by others. It got very little reaction, some, but not much. It certainly didn't prompt anything in depth....which is what I had hoped. I don't believe you commented at all.
I also think it is a big mistake to not respond to the comments you do get. You admit this up front as a weakness, and such an admission is at least honest and you are sort of warning your readers that they might not get a response.....but I can't say I think that's a good way to encourage comments from the rare folks willing to do so. If you want interaction, you have to encourage it.
So, I'm not shocked by your stories.....nor do I prefer "suzie homemaker" stories to things more juicy. And I also think that as fellow subs, our relative genders are of less significance than the psychology behond what makes each of submissive to others. And Pain? You've seen my blog LOL! Pain is the best!!!! So, I might well be inclined to interact with your interests in your posts......even if they aren't mine. But let's commit to a mutual understanding that "I will if you will". Let's see where the future takes us?
Amd I wrote this BECAUSE I like you, not because I'm criticizing you. ;-)
kd - no offence taken -- I do realize it's a two way street - the commenting and replying to comments. To be truthful - there were times I did try to respond to comments -- BUT -- I became frustrated by the comments - folks didn't seem to get the point.. BUT - am gonna try again.
ReplyDeleteThat being said.... I did not respond to your entries re sexual denial etc because I have no experience with it.. I believe if you don't know something keep your mouth shut and learn. shrug.. I guess I could have told you re commenting that I didn't know much about it - or that it wasn't my thing... next time :)
I didn't comment much on your post series because it mainly seemed to revolve around long term kinky relationships, s subject that I have very limited experience of. I'm feeling guilty that I did not chip in now.
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Prefectdt - no need to feel guilty - if you don't have anything to add to a discussion I get it - believe me I do!!
ReplyDeleteBUT you did make a comment on Sunday's pictures that made me smile :)
I agree with KD for the most part. In fact it is why I pretty much stopped blogging. When I first started the discussions in my comment section actually were more insightful than the post I wrote or more inspiring, or just MORE. Though I see your point, to a point, over the years comments I read on others blogs became more about 'what a great post' and nothing much else.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm not sure we'll discover we are kindred spirits or not...LOL...but I'd at least hazard a guess we live about 2 hours drive from each other. I will go back and comment on your post about pain later this evening and perhaps we can see if we intersect in some areas.
I wish you well trying to get a conversation going when you desire it.
willie
willie - 2 hours eh?? drawing a 2 hour radius on the map........ (cheeky grin)
ReplyDeleteJust head toward the 416 wink
ReplyDeleteok willie - this is getting a bit crazy -- from never / hardly replying to comments to replying to your ALL your comments on every blog entry here AND on your link you sent.......... LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel this way Morningstar. I have never been shocked by anything I have read or seen here and am sorry if any of my comments gave that impression. In terms of generating discussion, it just doesn't seem to happen nowdays for some reason. Blogland has changed alot over the years. It used to generate many great discussions.
ReplyDeleteI think it's hard to fully understand different relationships and aspects of D/s unless you indulge in them yourself. That is what I love about blogland. We are all unique and our relationship dynamics are all different. I love the fact that we can share and learn from each other about aspects of D/s we are not so familiar with. I would hate to see you withold parts of you on your blog. It is your place, your voice.
Hugs
Roz
Roz - no no!! You have never said anything to lead me to believe you were shocked -- AND even if you did - it wouldn't bother me that much cause we are all different / have different desires and needs ... BUT I'm very aware that my 'kinks' are a bit extreme compared to some folks and I am not here to scare anyone ........ or make them uncomfortable...
ReplyDeleteThere have been times that if it weren't for you dropping by daily leaving me little comments I might have written less.... and I'm betting you don't know how many days I wait for your comments :) :)
I went through a kind of similar cycle that I think MOST of us go thru - that period when we hope our writing something would trigger a flood of discussion. Especially since when I started blogging ages ago there was a different group of bloggers, some of which have left the community, some have just passed on, others, well, could have moved on to other interests. The few that are still here don't comment as much on my blog as they used to... but then I find myself drifting in different directions than the ones they are steering towards so I tend not to write too much on their blogs either. Whatever the case, these days it's a different creature. I was a bit sad when the comments and interaction dwindled, but then after a while I realised that expectations would lead to disappointment and I took many small breaks through the years. Eventually I settled into a zone where I am now comfortable with writing for the sake of writing - and I know if I make the effort to go to other blogger's posts and leave comments there I am likely to get return visits to my blog from them too. So it's very much a two way street. Leaving replies to the comments I get on my post also helps drum up more interaction. But the bottom line is, (sorry about this essay), write whatever you want. I still think this is a safe space and we can all say whatever we feel here that we don't feel comfortable saying in our real lives. So shock away! Keep writing. I'll keep on reading!
ReplyDeleteYou've never shocked me - while I don't share your exact desires I enjoy reading about it. I love how many different desires we all have. As for people not 'talking' I'm puzzled too. I know millennials don't want to read more than a handful of characters and they would never want to write more. But over the years most of my readers have been near my age and we should be old enough read and comment on a few paragraphs. And I'd think now, with so many stuck at home, there would be time to contemplate and comment. But it doesn't happen. I blog for the connections to other like me - I KNOW they're out there, but mostly they stay silent.
ReplyDeleteFondles - sorry I wasn't very clear in my comment about hoping to inspire some discussion -- not from the general public necessarily - but Windy and PK and I had talked about getting a discussion going between the 3 of us on our individual blogs -- which didn't happen - because of timing I'm thinking.
ReplyDeleteI have always worried a little bit about shocking the natives... way back in the day -- wayyyyyyyy back -- I used to post pictures of my bruised ass.. or needles sticking out of my body -- or clamps and other forms of torture attached to my pink lady bits. Back then - maybe? - I was trying to impress folks (real time folks who read here) now - shrug - I don't feel the need to prove anything :)
PK - in a nutshell - I was rather looking forward to the proposed discussion between Windy yourself and me..... that didn't happen - shrug... as the expression goes "shit happens". :)
ReplyDeleteYou're right - the timing was off. Windy was tied up in real life stuff and the book came out demanding more attention that usual. Who know, it might happen spontaneously one of these days.
ReplyDeleteHey Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteI think the scariest thing about blogland is the unbelievable way commenters judge. I am sure I fall into that category in my comments although I do try to learn. When I discovered blogland, yes, I found things that weren't for me. You talking about knife play scares me but I am a weenie. The thing is, that is your kink. You found someone who matches your kink. How AMAZING is that?! I am so happy to see the kinky match-made-in-heaven you have. You are so lucky to have the strength to seek out what makes you happy. And the fact that you are Suzy Homemaker too? WOW! And you are BRAVE enough to put it out there for everyone to see. Can it get any better?
I could not ask for a better person to know and learn from!
Hugs
Boo
OMG Boo - you just made me get all teary :)
ReplyDeleteI am very lucky to find some who's kink matches mine... the following is THE best quote ever (in my opinion)
We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
I have to confess to misunderstanding as well ( in response to your comment to Fondles). I believed you meant having a conversation here on your blog. As far as Windy's blog, I thought it was in the comments that the three of you no longer required an email exchange concerning her subject because it was all open on her blog- which is the way blogging used to be- discussions on the blog in comments before someone decided it was best to take things 'behind the blog'. LOL
ReplyDelete