My relationship to pain.......
Again this is MY opinion and your mileage may vary.........
This is the comment from Windy that got me started on this series of posts.....
Wait, really? You never think of being bad/naughty, having broken a
rule as the reasons for being spanked? What in the world am I missing?
Would love to hear more of your reasons and views on this
Back in my late teens I discovered erotic Victorian novels that featured spanked young ladies....... OMG !!! Masturbation fodder!! The whole idea of a male taking what they wanted was a HUGE turn on for me... I hadn't separated the feelings yet - just had this overall horny reaction to the books.
Fast forward many years and my first entrance into a BDSM club in Montreal... watching all those semi naked women on crosses, bent over tables, positioned on spanking benches and I was overwhelmed - but wanting me some of that! AND when I want something I go for it.
There was no sex attached to the spankings....... no punishments attached to these spankings.. it was simply spankings/floggings/whippings for pain sake. AND I discovered I loved it!! loved the pain - loved the endorphins. My god! the endorphins were the best! I became hooked on them....... needing them regularly .. wanting them... craving them.. jonesing for them! For me - it honestly was an addiction.
I played with more than a few folks in those first months....... settled on one man - my Dominant..... continued for many months/years attending public play parties having my ass spanked/flogged/whipped regularly........ getting my endorphin fix.
AND then 11 years ago I met Sir Steve and his then wife Kira and became their play toy........ going out to clubs .. parties sometimes twice every weekend........ I have vivid memories of how good it was with them.. with him. Things I had never noticed before... (before the play times were mostly inside my head - MY getting past the pain stage to the pleasure stage.. MY white knuckling it.. MY pulling myself over that edge into the endorphin high.) BUT with Sir Steve there was an order - a rhythm - it was a dance we two performed together. It was US getting me over the pain to pleasure - it was US bringing out the endorphin high...........
I remember so vividly the feel of Sir Steve's strong big hands stroking the growing welts... feeling the cool touch of his leather pants against my thighs... feeling the tightening in my belly .. feeling the wetness between my legs ......... and Sir Steve could - almost every time we played - bring me to an orgasm just from the pain.
BUT there was more than whips and chains and floggers oh my!! I loved (love) knives and anything sharp............
the wartenberg wheel tracing patterns across my well flogged ass and back...
AND there was a period where I became a pin cushion - loving needle play..... even had a corset similar to the one below
Now.......... now things have settled down I guess - I am no longer jonesing for endorphins (well not much) ......... I am not seen out in clubs anymore in my corsets and collar ....... now - now I can be found naked bent over the bottom of the bed with Sir Steve spanking me ... the feelings haven't changed I love the total surrender of play - - of the strong sense of submitting to his will ........ it makes me feel loved and cared for and needed.
Life is good when it all comes together.......
~~~~~~~~~~~
tomorrow in place of my usual Sunday Sentiments - I will be posting erotic pictures from my private collection.......
looking forward to the pics!
ReplyDeleteI can empathise with the need for endorphins. I wish I had more experience of the relationship side of things. That is all foreign territory to me. I'm glad you have reached a place of understanding between Dom and sub.
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Love the pics Morningstar and look forward to seeing your pics.
ReplyDeleteI have a bit of a love/hate relationship with pain. I mostly love it after the fact...the fact that I 'endured' it and any marks and feeling it afterwards.
Hugs
Roz
Okay, as promised I am going to try to elaborate on my relationship with pain. Pain for me is a necessary means to an end. Several years ago I examined my feelings toward pain and delved into the idea that perhaps I was a masochist. I have a male friend who is a very pronounced Sadist ( lol ) and he helped me shed some light on my confusion during this time.
ReplyDeleteIt turns out, it is the exchange of power that has me excited rather than the pain. As I said on Windy's post, I can have a similar sexual reaction to verbal commands, and non physical activities. B on the other hand gets a bigger rush out of inflicting pain. He prefers to choose to apply it as opposed to reacting to my actions and feeling forced ( punishment).
I have a tendency to disassociate from pain, and vacate, which of course does nothing for B. I have to focus on it so he can enjoy himself. This is what engages my submission. I am there for one purpose which is for his enjoyment. That isn't to say AFTER it is done I don't feel many things, pride, relief (lol), owned, and most of all submissive. There are times however that I have felt very ANGRY after. It would appear is it also a default reaction to pain for me, much like stubbing one's toe but on a much grander scale.
B owns a wheel...I find it painfully annoying LOL. Wax, it isn't as bad as somethings. I find it more sensual than painful. Clips and clamps, things I breathe through, but definitely engage my mind. The thing I loathe most I'd say would probably be ice, and not where most people would think- my inner wrists. I hate, HATE, HATE being cold.
B has several implements and before lockdown, he used them in all areas. The backs of my arms, the front of my thighs, the soles of me feet are vanilla areas I'd love to avoid if possible, but for him it is little effort with big results. Of course there are other non vanilla areas he ventures forth to as well.
He has paddles, and canes of all shapes and sizes, though paddles have been collecting dust due to many in the house. He likes to use a long glow stick on my back because he can make perfect X's that last for days. I HATE it. Though I do like being able to see the marks- something to show for my efforts? He has a buggy whip, and a quirt. The crop has long since been rendered useless as it doesn't register as a real pain inducer for me. Then there is the ramming my cervix into my throat through sex maneuver. lol...good times.
Fortunately for me he doesn't feel comfortable with sharp objects, which suits me just fine! He did dabble for a while with peppermint oil and its burning effects in combination with impact- though it wasn't something that he inflicted so he was quickly bored by it.
Anyway, for me none of these things or others do much unless we are exchanging power and they wouldn't if we were not a couple ( and I see in your post your connection to Sir Steve made a huge difference for you as well). I am a Dominance junkie and that gets my juices flowing- most times unless of course I'm pissed off. LOL..
Here is a link to that post I was talking about on your latest blog post. I think toward the end it may explain a bit. We came at this via Domestic Discipline and ended up in a (sometimes) deep D/s marriage with BDSM activities as a tool to deepen our power exchange.
https://barneymarriedwilma.blogspot.com/2016/09/the-beating-beautiful-and-beast.html?zx=c36d3204337c7c80
willie
ReplyDeleteFirst I went to read that post..... and left you a comment... is this going to get confusing -- your place or mine sort of thing??
I am a professed endorphin junkie - how I get there doesn't much matter just so long as I get there...
I have said many times over the years IF the person playing with me isn't really into it I can sense it -- and it dulls the fun. I think it may have something to do with wanting to please him -- not him pleasing me (does that make sense?) I get off on the pain yes -- but get off more on his giving it to me.........
AND............. I have run out of words :)
I'm usually a lurky lurker, and have been for probably close to a decade. Your last post made me sad, so I came to comment. I've tried to label myself so many times throughout my relationships- submissive, switch, little, masochist- but none seem to really stick. My experience with pain is almost the opposite of yours. I do not enjoy most of it at all until I'm aroused, but once I am it enhances it to the point of orgasm. I think it's a bit endorphins and a bit of a taboo kink. Confuses my partner still 12 years later as he's a pretty straightforward sadist ;)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - hang on a sec... I crave pain -- BUT -- trust me -- at the beginning I stamp my feet - call Sir Steve every name in the book -- and curse....... then....... I'm guessing the endorphins kick in and then I LOVE the pain and yes it enhances it for me to the point of orgasm.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you commented :) hopefully you'll be less of a lurky lurker (grinning)
What I think is a worthy observation of pain play is the see-saw interaction between a level of pain and a sense of fear. For me there is a definite correlation between the endorphin rush of pain over time, and the adrenaline rush of fear.
ReplyDeleteOn a personal note I don't do knife play because I just don't make an erotic association to them. I've done some temporary pin play but I was more interested in that in the past. Now? Not so much.
For pain? Beyond traditional impact stimulation, including genital slapping, I am a "fan" of clips on sensitive parts (nipples/penis), and having those clips yanked off, wax is good but messy as you say, burning ointments are an easier option (a swipe of CapsazinHP ointment across one's anus is so quick, simple and EXCRUCIATING. Devilish!). Another easy option we like here that is admittedly on the low end is the use of what we call our spiked pad (just a simple carpet protector turned upside down so the nasty nubs are face up......and then.....you just sit on it for a while. One fun twist on this is when Rosa will wait a bit and then come over to me and sit on my lap while I'm on the pad. ouch! LOL).
But one thing I have experienced a few times is insertion torture with a frozen water bottle. It is so painful I am truly afraid of it. Yet I want to do it on occasion. It is a real dilemma activity. Appealing in terms of excitement, but truly truly agonizing to endure.
Ah pain. So many possibilities, but that fear issue is always a component.
kd
ReplyDeletenodding vigorously here - fear plays a huge part in the fun -- which is why I love knife play -- Sir Steve will run the knife between my legs - twist it into my clit ring... I literally hold my breath for fear of moving.. and Sir Steve's always saying ' DO NOT MOVE ' which just adds to the fear ya know??
sitting here letting my brain wander -- the fear makes my knees go weak and gets me SO wet!! le sigh