Sad

i am feeling a bit blue today...... my Sir wrote about it in His blog last evening..... if you want the details........

i miss my lil house out in the country......... oh i haven't lived there for nearly 10 years.. but it doesn't matter .. i miss the openness of it.. the freedom of it... i had bird feeders in the garden and bird baths..... i had squirrels visiting me at the kitchen window when i washed dishes.. we had birds nesting on the deck.. rabbits nesting against the foundation and raising their families... it was country and i loved it!!!

Now i live in a sweet lil townhouse.... in the city......i tried last summer to put out bird feeders and a bird bath.. to encourage the birds to visit.... BUT in the dead of winter.... the Townhouse Association blames my squirrel problems on my kindness to the animals (besides my squirrel problem i now have a skunk - in the city yet !!! living under my back patio!!!) ........ get rid of the bird feeders i was told......and so last night .. when it was just getting dark and eerie i trudged through the deep snow to my back yard...... and took down the bird feeders in the light of the lamp post ........ it made my skin tingle and the hair on the back of my neck stand up.. i don't like dark! i don't like being out back behind the hedges in that dark.... and i definitely DON'T like having to take down my bird feeders....

i wonder who will serenade me in the summer when i sit in my secret garden? i will miss the bright colours of the birds feathers.. i will miss them lining up in the trees waiting for their turn at the feeders... it will be a sadder lonelier place in my secret garden this summer...........

And i wonder about my poor lil squirrel in the walls........ the exterminator came last night and put out traps with poison food...... my 'rocky' sprang the traps and ate the food and ran back into the walls..... to die
and i sit here this morning thinking .. (stupid as it sounds) that it is all my fault that he has to die... if i hadn't put out bird feeders with an unlimited supply of food.. if i hadn't bought ears of corn for the blue jays and yes the squirrels.. my 'rocky' would have learned to live outside on his own....... instead he came in .. from the cold .. looking for food.. and he found peanut butter.