Fiddling

Every evening from 8 - 9, Sir and i talk on msn .. and there are rules/protocols to go with the chat.. first i must wear my leather collar (the one that makes me feel like i am choking and can't breath - totally a mind thing) and secondly i must always have the cam on. The cam is so important to Sir that after He says "evening" .. before i answer Him .. i must turn the cam on.... This ritual dates back to the time He was training me.. when W/we didn't see each other every Friday till Monday...... i did see Him sometimes on a Friday afternoon for a few hours.. but not always.. so this cam time each evening was our time together.

Now you have to understand.. some evenings there is much to talk about with Sir.. many little happenings to share with Him.. other evenings (especially when i am on holidays) there is very little to talk about or share with Him...the whole rule about this hour with Sir is that i am supposed to devote my whole attention to Him.. even if it means just sitting quietly ........ now i find it rather difficult to just sit quietly (go figure !!!) and often times i will be reading blogs while i chat with Him.. or playing a couple of games on Yahoo...... always keeping one eye on the chat window.. waiting for the flashing orange to signal He has written something...... over the years i have become very good at keeping the conversation going with Sir.. AND doing other things... the really tough part - the part that makes it a bit of a challenge for me is....... Sir does not put His cam on...... so i never know what He is doing... Hell He could be sitting watching TV .. or making a coffee.. or studying me intently... i never know.. But as i said.. i have become quite good at looking attentive while i do other things......

Until last evening.......
Last night i was blogged out.. i didn't feel like playing games.. after all i had spent the better part of the day working on the computer trying to set up a web site for my "other business".... i was feeling bum sore and bleary eyed... from sitting and staring at the screen all day. AND there wasn't much to talk about with Sir.....and Sir was (after the initial bit of chat about His day) relatively quiet... so i started to fiddle with my nails...... (i have decided to stop going to the manicurist and do them myself.. which means i tend to fiddle with my nails a lot ! ) Sir asked - almost immediately - "What are you doing".. i answered in an offhand manner.. "nothing Sir.. just fiddling".. the screen was blank for a few seconds then Sir responded "then masturbate". My eyes popped open.. i haven't masturbated per say in ages and ages.. "masturbate??" i figured He was joking...... and basically ignored it.. Sir cut and paste the message to me again !! ok.. now i knew He wasn't joking.. so i innocently whined.. "masturbate??? sighh.. can i use my favourite toy?" and the answer.. "no".. simple as that.. NO. Now you have to understand.. this evenings chat had not gone as well as usual.... i was in hot water for sending my daily private journal late .. 80 minutes late.. and Sir had just informed me that i can expect 2x80 minutes = 160 punishment swats... and i was feeling sulky about it... and now He expected me to masturbate.. Hell i wasn't even horny!! dry as dust i was.... and He expected me to masturbate !?

One handed typing is NOT my speciality... i typed to Him...." i am so dry Sir" .. no response.. then i typed " will i be allowed to cum Sir?" answer "if I say you can" (duhhhhh ) and then i typed " i am dry Sir " to which He responded "then FOCUS" and the conversation stopped. i sat here playing with myself.. using saliva to moisten said dry areas......mechanically masturbating.. not putting much into it.. i was ticked.. and all my silly subbie brain could think was "160 swats !!?? it's just not fair".. Time passed and i was still not getting into the spirit of things ........ i visualized Sir chatting away to a multitude of other folk while i was left sitting here playing with a dry stubbornly refusing to respond pussy... i visualized Sir turning and watching TV and ignoring me.. i huffed and i puffed on cam.. i made faces.. i did everything i could think of to make Sir say "ok you may stop".. BUT He didn't.. which just fueled my resolve that He wasn't even paying any attention to my plight.. and then i sulked.. and pouted some more (did i ever tell you i do pout very nicely !) Still nothing from Sir.. 9:00 had come and gone...... and still Sir was not responding ......... and i got this image in my head of me sitting here at the computer screen all night long with my hand up my pussy playing and Sir sitting at His end ignoring me.. and here i sat till the sun came up..... ok.. stupid subbie.. smarten up .. concentrate on what you are doing and bloody well cum! or ask for permission to cum......... so i did .. concentrate i mean... and lo and behold my darling body responded... and soon i was dripping and all kinds of embarassing sloshing noises were coming from my private pink bits..... and i was wiggling quite nicely on my chair (i HATE chairs on wheels!!) and finally .. FINALLY .. i typed rather quickly and one handed.. " please sir may i cum" ...... and the answer back "yes" .. and i did!!

i learned something from this lesson........ and this probably won't be earth shattering to anyone else.. but god it did slap me upside the head.,... i belong to Sir.. my body .. my mind .. my whole being !!! and if He wants me to sit quietly and wait for Him..... then sit quietly i shall...... no fiddling ....... if Sir wants me to masturbate to amuse Him.. or just to keep me occupied while He does something else.. then masturbate i shall....
oh yeah.. and the other important lesson i learned from this........ if i am not going to the manicurist anymore.. make damn sure my nails are filed down with no rough edges - cause rough edges hurt......... and it ain't consentual !!!