Monday, April 12, 2010

Sometimes it's lonely



i am on my second week of Vick's therapy.......... except i stopped the Vick's sometime last week cause it really wasn't working/helping.

It is enough now......... and as much as i hate giving in.... calling a doctor... i have to. i kept thinking one more day and i will be feeling better.

On Saturday, selkie, from the now defunct "daughter of the sea" blog, was down here visiting family. She and i had plans to meet for coffee........... (we had had plans back in the fall but between one thing and another it never happened - so i wasn't gonna let a cold keep me home!!) On Saturday morning i thought i felt a little better...... a little stronger....... so i headed out to meet her for coffee. The one thing about being alone now.. and not having anyone to talk to ... i had no idea i had no voice !! Imagine my surprise ....... and selkie's ....... when we met up and i went to say hello and all that came out was a squeak !! Fortunately i wasn't expected to lecture to an audience...... only have a quiet chat with her... and get caught up on each other's news. After an hour i felt the beginnings of the tell tale shakes and sweats that seem to be part and parcel of this mystery bug. i had to say goodbye and head home. We have plans to meet up in May and probably manage to squeeze in a dinner ...........

Once i got home i stripped down and put my pjs back on and laid down...... and promptly slept for over 2 hours !!!

Sunday was more of the same...... no not coffee.. but i never got out of my pjs and napped most of the day away. i have emails to answer - but have nothing witty and brilliant to say....... so they wait. (and no smart assed comments about witty answers - i do have witty answers sometimes !!)

i have emailed the school and told them i will be "missing in action" again.... and now i wait for the doctor's office to open in the hopes that she can squeeze me in early this week. (i do have an appointment on Thursday with her - but god i don't think i can wait till Thursday !!)

And ya know what folks..........

There is nothing more lonely than waking up at 3 am feeling like crap .. and not having anyone around who cares............ and don't you dare say i have family!! yeah i do....... but they are busy with their lives (that's the way i brought them up) so other than a phone call once a day...... i am on my own to fight my way through this....... and fight my way through i will.............

It's just that it is very lonely at 3 am when one feels like crap.........

5 comments:

selkie said...

Squeaky or not, I am so grateful you took the time as I enjoyed our visit so much! But I think you're right to see a doctor.. i wouldn't be surprised if it sometimes like pnemonia or bronchitis!! Keep us posted, sweetie... thinking of you ...and cold or not, you looked beautiful!

morningstar said...

selkie - you make me blush !!!

hey selkie - don't ever cut your hair ok??? One day i might just have the courage and strength to play in it.... (cheeky grin)

Raheretic said...

Goodness I wish we had the opportunity to be with you both, despite how croakie your voice may have been. Getting to be part of a conversation with both of you would be such a treat.

I am wodering if siwne flu could be the diagnosis. Your symptoms and the lingering of them would fit. I hope I am wrong.

Hang in and get well again.

Tom

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined.

anna said...

I'm sorry you aren't feeling better yet, but I'm not surprised. I got sick a little while ago and it seemed to linger forever! Please try to get lots of rest.

Also, if there's anything I can do, please let me know. I'm not so far away, you know.

swan said...

I am finally home, and settled enough to check what's up, and here I find that you are not better, and perhaps that you are worse. I am so sorry that you are facing this all alone, and so wish we were closer. Still, know that we are close by in heart.
I know that you managed to get to the doctor today, so perhaps that will make for a turn, even if things aren't likely to improve very soon...

Very, very gentle hugs,
swan