Be warned - today's blog definitely contains ADULT ONLY material......
Did any of you miss Hermione's Sunday Brunch? I read it yesterday and all the comments. AND it would seem a few of the blogs I read are expounding on the idea. Did you honestly think I wouldn't be one of those blogs expounding on the theme?? (grinning)
The only problem with my 'expounding' is that this blog entry has sat here for over an hour while my brain tried to sort out my thoughts in some logical progression.
I failed.
See if you can follow my 'bouncing ball' and if any of what I spew forth makes any sense to you.........
* BDSM main stream.... once upon a time - when BDSM arrived on our shores - it was a pretty secret society.... it was hidden down back alleys with secret codes and behind locked doors. I cannot say with any surety when it became more 'main stream' (definitely BEFORE 50 Shades!) but when I discovered it was actually REAL (having read 'The Story of O' at 20 and wishing it could be real) it was becoming more main stream - there were some clubs in town that held occasional BDSM parties - complete with whips and chains and floggers (OH MY!)
Then munches became popular - munch = a meal in a restaurant with like minded folk. Our town used to hold one a month - then there were at least 2 a month - and then there was the regularly scheduled munch PLUS dinners before going to a party. Those munches often had 15 - 30 people attending. The parties (one a weekend at the very least) often had upwards of 100 people attending.
I discovered there were 'blogs' (didn't have a clue what the hell a 'blog' was until that point) that actually talked about BDSM - and some even discussed masochism and sadism and some of the more 'on the edge styles of play' I actually made friends with some of those folks writing blogs... real people !! met some of them too.. I assumed everyone who wrote a blog were 'real' and wrote about 'real' things..... (not the first time I discovered the definition of 'assume' - assuming makes an ass......... ") Small side note - a few years ago went to a munch here in my new province and was being introduced around when one girl shrieked "MORNINGSTAR!!??" jumped up ran over to me jumping up and down declaring "YOU'RE REAL!!! I've been reading you for years!"
I even had an actual BDSM wardrobe....... corsets and stockings and garter belts.. and leather... I had toys - whips ... umpteen floggers and paddles - I had needles and clamps and gags and rope. AND knives......... my delicious knives!! I experienced knife play and needle play and electric play. I LOVED ALL OF IT!
I was tattooed - 3 times. I had my clit pierced -
AND to prove my masochism (as though it needed proving!) had an orgasm from the pain... and blogged about it.
*BDSM down hill..........
And then it all started to go downhill........ a lot of folks started to equate BDSM with sex and swingers ...... at parties people started to gawk at the players...... even had one instance where I was up on a St Andrew's cross and glanced sideways to see some creep jerking off while watching me....... EWWWWWWWWWW
Attendance at munches started to go down...... people's egos came into play.... serious cliques and rivalries happened........
I started to feel that my blog was toooooo blunt - too honest...... and in the back of my mind was the feeling that more than a few readers only came to find content they could jerk off to.......double ewwwwwwwwwwww
Play parties seemed to start disappearing......... clubs closed down.
Blogs started to disappear or went private. Real life hit a lot of my blogging friends and changed their lives forever......
And then blogs that I thought were REAL - turned out to be someone's fiction.... other bloggers were using real life blogs (like mine and a few of my friends' blogs) as fodder for their own blogs.. it's weird to see your life on a stranger's blog..........and I came to fully understand why blogs went private.
About 5 years ago when my life changed drastically .. and I was uncollared and single I learned that all those parties I thought had disappeared.... hadn't....... the hosts had simply made them private - by invite only! If the host didn't like you or thought you weren't safe they didn't invite you - so it appeared that there were no longer any parties - when in fact they were now very private - by invite only and usually immediately following a munch.
In my humble opinion BDSM is not gone....... it's still very much there just in a different form.... a whole lot more privacy.
(and all those 'wankers' have made me reticent to write bluntly about my form of BDSM - and because I really don't want to shock/scare any of my readers - grinning)
I think that one thing that you and I have in common is that we both started into TTWD in pre internet days. When the internet came along it opened up a lot of opportunities for us all. But now I think that there is a bit of internet overload and a wariness of keyboard BSers. It is hard but I think we need to find a way to sort out the real people from the less real. And that is hard when the main form of communication does not involve hearing a real voice or seeing a real face.
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Hi Morningstar, I enjoyed reading your perspective. I too think much has changed since the internet, including BDSM. How we interact, communicate etc.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
I think your post was not only coherent, but offered another view.....one not everyone is aware of. For a time I did munches but they didn't do much for me. Same thing for parties. Private activity always meant more for me and I'm glad it never disappeared from my life for long, despite whatever was going on.
ReplyDeleteAs for blog reticence? I find that the occasional "shocker" topic never ruffles to the degree feared. Instead those who appreciate the usual format might take a back seat for that post, but rarely have I had anyone leave over a BDSM practice. And then, the flipside, is that just when you think you'll be left standing alone with this major revelation, someone posts a comment revealing a common interest or experience. Bottom line? I say if the mood strikes.....go for it.
Morningstar:
ReplyDeleteYour comments were truly poignant and thought-provoking. I agree with the other commenters and want to add that my interests began decades before the internet. So, from the "dark ages" came the enlightenment; and I was both thrilled and excited. A deep and dark secret was suddenly lifted from my shoulders and surprise!!, there were many others like myself!! For years, my bliss flourished, first with Yahoo groups, and then blogs. But, in the last few years, activity lessended; first the groups disappeared, and now we are faced with fewer and fewer blogs. I don't know why; my interests, are still intact and, despite my age, still immensely pleasurable. I have no answers to why this is happening; but I thank you for bringing it up.
Rick