Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Melt Down

 


I feel like that poor polar bear... hanging on to a thread.......... 

Yesterday was a 'no good terrible very bad day'.... the *child* (can you hear the exasperation in my words?) has pushed me to the breaking point.  It has been the month from hell - honestly!  

Despite my best efforts to get through to her.. I am fighting a losing battle.  I have stressed.. I have given consequences for her bad behaviours at 'school'.  I have told her - as has her teacher - that if she has spare time she is NOT to play but she is supposed to read - go to a website her teacher gave her... to finish work ........... did she hear us??? I thought so........ until yesterday.  I looked into her room to see her pulling all her dolls out .... she had dumped her 'food' and 'dishes' out and was in the process of setting up house!!  WTF?!  It was only half way through her day.... granted the kids at school weren't back from recess ......... BUT still!!!!  

I  threw in the towel .......... and I had a melt down.  I am tired of being the disciplinarian... I would like to just have fun with her too ya know... play games - do crafts ...no responsibility!!!!  

So - last night there was no lighting the next Advent candle - no Advent gift........ in fact I didn't even eat supper with them...... my head was throbbing and my stomach was upset. 

I have lived with grinches in the past........ and they didn't bring my spirit down over Christmas............ BUT an 8 year old with major attitude has..........  right now I have no joy over the upcoming holidays..... no desire to finish the baking or wrap the gifts.  I just want to go to bed and wake up in January.  


5 comments:

  1. Have you considered a "public" workplace? A classroom is not a place to hide. You are out in the open, under near-constant scrutiny. Perhaps the "school setting" should be the kitchen table? Or whatever table and room is under you ability to easily monitor.

    Another thing is trickier. What would you say is you and your SO's attitude/demeanor/life approach to learning? Is learning a priority for the whole family? Do NOT assume that "school" and "schoolwork" are the primary sources of a kid's education. Their parents are. School is just one small part of it. Has that been the atmosphere in your home from the very beginning? Do you talk about things learned in school? Do you all watch documentaries as a family during TV time? Does your step-daughter see you both pursuing education yourselves?

    The last thing is just a hunch. From what I've read she sounds like her behavior may be a symptom of something else. Maybe the split of her parents? Maybe the attitude of her mother? Something's up. Have you considered counselling?

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  2. kd - the 'classroom' her bedroom is clearly visible - it opens on the kitchen which is open on the living room (talk about open concept home)
    I am a retired teacher with child psychology and during my teaching years I worked a lot (mostly) with special needs kiddies AND their parents....... and no I don't think/feel I am too close
    Sir Steve is a firm believer in education

    It is possible that the divorce may have affected the child - AND the mother may be a contributing factor to the behaviours - but there is little we can do - believe me we have tried - the courts believe the mother should be involved in the child's life.. no matter what !

    if anything - I may be too bloody old to be doing this anymore..

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  3. Well, given your education background, my advice seems unnecessary. LOL You know what to do.....you just have a difficult situation going on. Good luck with it. I'm not sure what else to suggest.

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  4. kd - I appreciate your effort to find a solution........ thank you :)

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  5. (((Hugs))) Morningstar, I imagine a number of parents are having problems this close to Christmas. Children's focus being more on Christmas and the excitement of it all. This week is the last week of school before summer holidays here.

    Hugs
    Roz

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