Yours Mine Ours

I hope you read the above - yes I know it's long but my thoughts today are based on it.  (also if you're social distancing yourself and home all day long it gives you something else to do right?? grinning)

First a little background on how I identify -- for those that may not know -- I am a masochist.... I enjoy pain -- I get highly aroused by pain.  Sir Steve is a Sadist -- he enjoys giving pain -- he is aroused by giving pain.  (ok put like that it makes us sound pretty sick right?? )

Anywayyyyyyyyyy

Actual play sessions..... laying out whips and floggers and paddles ... have dwindled down to nothing.  Last summer Sir Steve did whoop my ass a couple of times with his belt and a few times with his hands.  After the fact I was sore and questioning my masochist label......... thinking it wasn't as good as I remembered... 

I do believe during those play times Sir Steve's heart wasn't fully in it....... I think he was doing it for me.  And therefore there was something missing... an energy that has been necessary for me to 'get off' on. 

Being me I have been analyzing our situation off and on for months now.  Maybe Sir Steve had changed and wasn't the Sadist I met years ago.  Maybe the changes in his life - endings... beginnings ... stress... had caused changes inside of him.. a death of sorts.  Had he just simply outgrown the need to play?  (oh I must add - it took me awhile to get to this point - to get past blaming myself for the lack of play)

I realized that - back in the day - we went out every single weekend - sometimes Friday and Saturday night - to clubs or private home parties - to play........ to wear our leathers and bring all our toys - to lay them out at the foot of a piece of equipment (like a St. Andrew's cross or spanking bench) for me to be tied to the equipment and Sir Steve would pick up the toys one by one and use them on me ... usually for a half hour or more........ and usually more than once in an evening.   (And back in those days Sir Steve was married to someone who played with us....... so there was no sex at all involved in our play.  If I can compare it to vanilla events - it was like going to  club and dancing all night.)

Times have changed (even before the pandemic happened).  There are no play parties - no clubs like there used to be. 

And so here we are........... 

We may not be 'playing' anymore........ but there is something replacing that play......not sure what to call it...... kinky sex ??? it doesn't really cover what happens... but is as close as I can explain..........

How to describe this politely (grinning) ......... 

Sir Steve is ..... ummmm... 'blessed' in size shall we say....... he used to be gentle with me ... but even still I would gasp ... and would often be tender the day after.  
Now......... well not so gentle anymore and it is amazing!!  (perhaps feeds into my rough sex fantasies) He will bite (gently but sharply) ... his hand will often go around my neck.... and I am discovering this is satisfying my masochist side...... weird eh? 

BUT

I think what is the most important thing about this is....... We are finding new ways to express our love...... to express our kinky sides.... we're not 'throwing the baby out with the bath water' because love is more than selfish needs.

Life is good when love triumphs