So ronnie's question is last........ best for last? or last because it's a tough question...
What's your favourite part of TTWD
Do I have a favourite part??? There's really no service in our TTWD - well no service that Sir Steve expects.... I do the cooking cleaning laundry child rearing - which I suppose is a service - but is it TTWD or done from a position of love?
We have no rituals per say......... we have no rules....
WHOA - hang on... rituals -- maybe?? rules -- maybe??
Sir Steve likes me to sleep naked - every single night.
Sir Steve likes me on my right side snuggled into him so he can grab and hold my breast as we fall asleep.
OH and I almost forgot - he likes me clean shaven.......
Definitely rituals and rules....... but ya know I wonder if I just refused to do them would it matter to Sir Steve?? Would he do anything to enforce them? I'm thinking NO... so then are they rituals/rules?? I think maybe it would be reassuring if Sir Steve voiced the importance of these to him...... no consequences if I refuse .. cause ya know I'm an adult and shouldn't need consequences... BUT some sort of affirmation. AND as for the shaving - well it would be kinda nice if he noticed I did it ...... like checking every Friday for example. BUT he isn't big on schedules.... so no checking. Some weeks I wonder why I do it - ya know?!
Ahhhh wellllll...it is what it is.
SO is there anything I do like TTWD wise?
yup - pain...... any pain.. lots of pain... fill me up pain... recharge me pain. Pain makes me feel bonded to him.. makes me feel loved.
AND that's it for questions - if anyone has a last minute question - ask away.... you still have a couple of days.
Hi Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteThat is a great question, but a tough one. For me, I think the best part of ttwd is the greater closeness and intimacy.
I agree with you on the Dom voicing the importance of rules/rituals to them. Otherwise it's easy to get into the mindset of why bother doing these things. I do think any rules have to be around things that matter to the Dom. I know in the early days we had a few that were really just for the sake of having a rule and consequently they didn't work.
Hugs
Roz
I totally agree Roz about rules just for the sake of rules - I lived that too... and it seemed like a game rather than a lifestyle.... the rituals/rules that are in place with Sir Steve DO make sense cause I know they are things that please him. (AND I am thinking 'cause Sir Steve reads here every day - something may evolve from this entry - shrug - who knows)
DeleteInteresting question Roz.
ReplyDeleteWe dont really have anything. Nothing Sheriff demands really. I sleep naked because it makes me feel closer to the Sheriff. Clean shaven because he likes it. I suppose as we go further in the journey, maybe that will change.
Hugs and Good morning!
Boo
Boo -so are you saying you don't consider sleeping naked - or being clean shaven anything? I don't think I agree. IF it is something you do for him then isn't it a rule - if loosely interpreted as such??
DeleteI was thinking more about it this morning. I think I need to have those things and others to help me stay in the submissive mindset. I have taken recently to kneeling (especially in this last week). I discovered for me, I can relax. Especially when the Sheriff has his hand on me. Add in the scolding and if I am naked at the time, and holy God I am CALM. I never knew that. For the Sheriff though, he worries that doing those things....I may feel "less" than him and he doesn't want that. We are partners as he says. And I agree. I also say that I am "gifting" him with my submission and showing a great deal of trust. But I need those things to help me.
DeleteI wonder as this grows if he will come to need them too. I think he will and in that case, there may be more "rules".
That's the beauty of the term, Ttwd. As in this thing *we* do. It doesn't have to be the collective blogland we....it can also we as a couple. No two are alike and for me at least, it is a feeling that happens with Ttwd (brought on by different actions perhaps) that unites most of us.
ReplyDeletewillie
willie - if you were sitting across from me and said the above - I would probably look puzzled and ask you to explain a bit...
DeleteSee the way I read that - I understood 'we' doesn't mean a collective 'we' - it means 'we' as in him and me. BUT then you say the TTWD unites most of us........
Can you elaborate a little bit ?? cause my brain isn't processing what you said :(
Absolutely. The way I view it, sometimes the *we* is just Barney and I. How we do it. Other times it is *we* within the context of the community'. It just depends on the circumstances or what I am processing at the moment.
DeleteDUH! slap me upside the head -- sorry I didn't get it the first time :)
DeleteWhen I came to answer ronnie's question I struggled ...... mainly cause I think - I'm defining our relationship by everyone else's relationship...... GAH! just what I warn folks NOT to do......
I am thinking I really do need to rethink my answer - AND possibly our relationship.......
Oh please! I had my self second guessing how I worded it. Lol.
DeleteI'll be interested to see what you come up with
You know, BIKSS will like something ONE way but if i let it slide or don't do it, he won't hardly say anything till i figure out something's amiss and say something. Then he'll point out that I was supposed to this or that, or whatever it was that i didn't.
ReplyDeleteSee post a few weeks ago about resurrecting my hand-kissing / pic-sending / morning-greeting rituals.
Sometimes I feel the same way... "what's the point". But the point is, we have partners who understand that we're adults and *mostly* we're kind to them, loving, generous, thoughtful and that is kinda what I figure our version of D/s is.
You wrote "but is it TTWD or done from a position of love?"
I answer you with this line from the "definitions" page on my blog - because this is what our D/s is for me -
"I do what I can to make him happy, raise him up, and fill his life with beauty." And therein lies my submission. And i suspect, yours.
For u and me both, I think, love and service are probably one and the same. ❤️
Fondles - nodding at your comment - love and service are one and the same.... it's true I think... for us anyway. AND then I ask myself - that's not so wrong is it??? love=service and service=love.... I'm thinking maybe that equation makes it a little easier??
DeleteI think I may have to flesh this TTWD post out a little bit in the near future.
Interesting post and comments. I love watching older couples - older than any of us. Do they totally ignore one another, is one of them (usually the lady) bitching and griping all the time, do they ever touch? I love TTWD because it forces the couple to share a secret. We look at our men, they watch us, we touch. There was one older couple in our church that I suspected of TTWD because of my years of observing them. They had been married for over 60 years and were still so very aware of one another. I will always believe that they were one of us.
ReplyDeleteI don't know PK - I feel closer to Sir Steve than any other dom before him... in the past the dom wouldn't touch me .. no hand holding.. no hugging.. it wasn't Domly don't you know.
DeleteThankfully Sir Steve is very touchy feely and it has nothing to do with TTWD so I'm really not sure ..........
Windy - bald eagle puss?? LOL OMG LOL I love it !!
ReplyDeleteand trust me - when I am done mulling and ruminating I'll let you know..... (cheeky grin)
I have to agree, pain is the best thing in the world. The only problem with it is that it (expletive deleted) hurts. At least until it becomes something special :)
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
you know me so well Prefectdt :) :) we may be cut from the same cloth LOL
DeleteMy hubby likes all those things as well (left side though, not right) and while he won't come out and say, "This is a rule" he's still managed to make it pretty clear that those things are going to happen. lol If I can't be bothered to shave, something usually gets pulled and it's not usually enjoyable.
ReplyDeletePain... I miss that. Hasn't been a bit of it since last summer. (Privacy issues) If I get a wicked nipple twist I consider myself lucky these days.
ohhhhh Penelope pain has been pretty much hit or miss around here too these past months....... le sigh ... covid has a way of interfering in life in ways not discussed on the news doesn't it?
DeleteI wonder why Sir Steve (and it seems your hubbie) don't want to label it as a rule..... I wonder if he is afraid of being in charge... afraid of what it would mean........ I really do have to do some thinking on this.....
I do have a question if that's ok? and I hope it's not too intrusive, if it is ,my apologies.
ReplyDeleteI would be interested on your thoughts on your masochism and whether you have ever had inner conflicts that you shouldn't like the things you do pain wise?
I ask, because although I don't consider myself a masochist, (it doesn't arouse me) what I do enjoy is having to endure the pain just for his enjoyment, is that an element for you or is it the sexual gratification if indeed it gives you that?
Claire
claire - great question! I would like to answer it as a blog entry if you don't mind waiting a day or two??
Deletenot at all, thankyou for being kind to answer, not knowing people here well enough yet I was wary of asking something that might be considered too personal.
DeleteI look forward to this discussion as I probably fall into Claire's 'camp' pain does nothing for me, bit enduring for him is another ballgame.
Deletewillie - it may take me a while to get around to these discussions - I seem to have a couple of them pending - definitely have 2 of 'em rambling around in my head...
DeleteAND I read your post yesterday and have been sorting out my thoughts on that too...
My poor brain is exhausted from all this thinking LOL
No worries Morningstar- my post is apparently not an easy one to comment on
Deleteclaire - just a little reassurance here.. the only question you could ask that I might find too personal would be my phone number .... how much money I make... my weight and bra size (grinning) always ask any question.... you won't offend me
ReplyDeleteMorningstar, thanks for answering my question. I find it hard to fully explain what the best part of TTWD is for us. Each of us in a relationship that involves what we do is different but a little of the same which I like. I say I don't haves rules but when I sit down and think about it I do. I love how we have grown closer as we've got older.
ReplyDeleteI'll be interested in reading your answer to Claire's question.
Love,
Ronnie
xx