Tuesday, April 06, 2010

comment on a comment.

Ok ........ this is a re-post of yesterday's entry. (without i hope all the comments..... i have no idea where they went - when i took it down.)








Well i did a dumb thing last night........It's not like i don't know better........ but sometimes temptation is just too strong........ and my will power is just too weak...

At 7:00 p.m. i had a steaming hot cup of coffee.... i went to bed at 10 .. went to sleep and woke up refreshed.. bright eyed and bushy tailed at 11:00. Nice nap !!

As i laid there watching the florescent yellow numbers tick off slowly the count down to morning..... my mind wandered back to the last few weeks.. to the blogs i have written and to all the wonderful comments i have received.

But there was one comment specifically that kept niggling at me... i had been asked "why go back to wearing a nightie" and my knee jerk answer "because i can".

and i thought as the clock ticked last night......... how nighties need not be flannel neck to floor virginal chastity devices........ i had/have quite a nice selection of soft "come hither" nighties...... in silks and satins and all the colours of the rainbow.... easy on...... and easy off.

And then the memories took me back to being stung up in the basement naked, being flogged and blindfolded...... feeling W move to me - pull me into his embrace, feeling the nakedness of him against me......... and i remember how sensuous that felt.. his smell wafting over my senses.... his skin warm against my skin..........

Or being naked in bed and snuggling up against his nakedness........ waking to feel him lying pressed against me.. his cock pressing into my naked ass.. sensory over load....... and it was amazing.



But then the time came when there were no more naked interludes while i was strung up being flogged.. no warmth from his body ... no scent wafting around my senses....... there were absolutely no snuggles in bed.. no naked skin against naked skin........

And i understood.. i did !!! Older men and older women - one of god's great jokes........ having us each reach our sexual peak at different ages.... but couldn't there still be some sensual touches, sensual moments ???

As much as i understood.......... negative feelings invaded my brain..........had the time come when he no longer found me sensual or sexy??? So why was i still naked ?? i even asked him..... it bothered me... a lot.

And so........ when it was just me again......... i gave up trying to please .. trying to pretend i was still sexy and sensuous ... after all i AM as old as dirt.......... and because i could ......... i put on a nightie......... and have been wearing one since.

6 comments:

Wendy said...

i know how you feel. When M died, i went without panties for a while, but then, realized, Hey, that was more about what he wanted then me, so on the panties went. Now i am up to bras ALL the time.

BTW, you are not as old as dirt and if wearing a nightie is a way of claiming yourself again....go for it

anna said...

No more coffee after 4pm for you. :)

Buffalo said...

You can get my head shaking without halfway trying.

Orage said...

"I even asked him". And what did he answer?

morningstar said...

Orage - mostly when i asked questions i got the "I am Dom and I want it" reason.

And sorry but i am going to leave it at that for now.

Orage said...

Excuse me, I should have guessed!