Wednesday, April 28, 2010
There are a whole lot of "labels" in the BDSM world - i am sure i don't have to tell you.......... from slave to submissive to Sir to Master to Dominant to bottom to Top to switch and on and on it goes.
There is also ........in my humble opinion......... a certain amount of snobbishness and clique-ness that goes with each of those labels.
In my world the submissive was always lower on the food chain than the slave. The Top lower than the Master/Sir. And the poor switch - well no one could ever quite figure out where to stick them... but boy oh boy they sure did treat them with a considerable amount of disdain.
During this time of transition for me (from collared to free) i have maintained my status of submissive. i have wrestled with the question of "can i be submissive without having a Dominant in my life" and had no problem at all answering YES. You see i am submissive in my heart. i can't be anything else but that. Submissive is my nature.
i have struggled with the thought that i was doomed to a solitary life until such time as i found a new Dominant / Lord and Master to rule my world. If you read yesterday's post of advise that i have been given over these last many weeks, you would have noticed more than one mention of "adventure".
Now yes i am fully aware you can have all sorts of adventures with a Dominant in your life.......... but boy oh boy the adventures that open up to you when you don't have one is boggling my mind.
Last week i started to roll the term "bottom" around in my head. It didn't taste too badly .......... no bolt of lightening came out of the sky and struck me dead. On Saturday evening driving home from the party with my "party buddy" we were discussing my "situation" and he was listing off the advantages to being a "bottom"........ he was teasing me about being a slut - NO NO not that sort of slut!!! - but a pain slut. He was pointing out the advantages of playing with different people and getting my fix for endorphins and discovering the many different styles and methods out there that i have been more or less isolated from. (did you all follow that run on sentence??!!)
The last couple of days i have been thinking long and hard about this "bottom" idea. It was a whisper of a thought.......
Then my "play buddy" contacted me and we talked .. i know he was feeling me out. The Domme that had played with him on the weekend comes complete with a HusbandDom.......... who at this point in time does not seem to have any one bottom to play with publicly
It was suggested we might all go out for dinner on Friday evening and get to know one another better. Seemed like a plan to me.
Well as plans go ....... it got changed. Instead of dinner on Friday (or maybe i should say "as well as dinner on Friday") we went out for coffee yesterday. We four talked and talked and talked - for hours.
The three of them spent a good bit of time explaining to me how this could work.. and i slowly came to the realization that being a "bottom" can have some major advantages.
First - i get to go to play parties with a fairly good chance i am gonna get to play.
Second - i will have a "chaperon" so to speak during these parties.
Third - there are no expectations of anything other than a fun social time - my life is my life.
The term "leather family" keeps rolling around in my head....... but that might not be the right term. (can you guess i LOVE labels and terms??!!)
But for now............... whatever the label or the term........ i think i may have found the answer to my dilemma .......... i am gonna be a " bottom" for the next little while.... taste the forbidden fruits that have always dangled just out of reach....... and enjoy myself.
Hell i am gonna have an adventure !!!
ummmmmmmm - does this mean the title of the blog changes again..
from "Healing Journey" to the Adventurous Journey??