Tuesday, February 08, 2022

What Sells.........

 First let me say - this post is my opinion - and your mileage may vary........


                                                         OR / AND




When I started blogging some 17 years ago I was excited.... no more than excited I was in a frenzy of sorts.  I had found an outlet to talk about my kinks without any shame.  I think most of you can identify with that feeling......... being able to finally open up about your kinks and actually talk about them - in detail.  WOW what fun !!  how freeing it felt...... there was somewhere I could talk about the taboo.  Being brought up the way I was where sex was a 4 letter word and was never discussed - in fact nothing personal was EVER discussed with friends or family - never mind publicly - having a place I could open up was the best feeling EVER!

I posted in detail about my kink life - from serving naked to being chained in bed to being spanked till I was black and blue..... I posted about sex ... every gruesome detail.  AND I couldn't believe my numbers on my blog...  especially on Monday when I would post about the play parties from the weekend complete with pictures of the marks on my naked body. They were HIGH........ I was thrilled - people wanted to hear about my kinky life.

I'm not sure at what point I started to feel grungy - but it happened.  I would write the words but then in my mind's eye I would see the wankers reading and (excuse my language) jerking off to what they read.  EWWWWWWWWW that's not who I was!!  I didn't want to write porn! (and when I stopped writing in detail guess what? my numbers fell off)

Then the relationship I was in - long term ... like over 10 years long term... started to fall apart.  It got pretty dark ........ and painful....... and dangerous to my mental health.  The BDSM community I was involved with stepped in (I've written about this before) ... they got me out .. and safely tucked away in a high security apartment building.  BUT the drama with "him" didn't stop...... and I wrote non-stop about it ........ cause I was scared.. and I needed an outlet.... (and guess what happened? my numbers went way back up again! It would seem sex sells and so does drama/ abuse)

AND then I decided for my sanity - for my well being - I had to move yet again.  No one except my dearest friends/family knew where I was moving to... or when.. or anything at all about my move.  And when I wrote I wrote about my life - my everyday life.  Cause truthfully - the kink side of my life was only a few hours a week  - the rest of the time I was teaching ... working with my special kiddies.  I was paying bills and cleaning and cooking and living.  Nothing for the wankers - nothing for those who craved someone else's drama.  It was just me - plain old me.

And my numbers?? they levelled off.  Now there are no massive peaks and no lowest valleys per say... each day my numbers are pretty consistent.  AND I don't really care.  I honestly don't!

The people who drop by - drop by cause they're interested in what I write - doesn't matter what.......... from serious to humorous to kink to dreams to whatever moves me that day.

When I say numbers don't matter to me I guess what I mean is - I'm not writing to draw people in.... I'm not writing / selling sex or drama.  I really am writing for me (99% of the time) and yeah I am sharing with like minded folks - who it turns out - are quite happy to just read about our mundane life.  Yesterday I had a couple of comments about how folks were happy to see "peaks of our new home" ......... and I mentioned how I used to do a "home corners" post every once in awhile and how I was thinking of resurrecting that theme again... 

Maybe what all this is is simply the evolution of a kinky blog... a lot of the original kink blogs /hard core kink blogs have disappeared.  Why?? well maybe cause one just can't keep up the intensity day after day?? I'm not sure.... I just know that what you read here is my life......... nothing more nothing less. I'm not gonna scold anyone who drops by here and doesn't comment..... shrug... it's just not important to me.  I have my faithful readers who leave me comments and share with me ... they make my day to be honest.  If Roz or Prefectdt or Boo or Baker or Pk didn't show up for a few days... I would watch for them - and yes I'll admit it I would fuss cause that's who I am.  


I'm sure this topic will come up again........ 

and again............ 

and again............ 

But for now I'm done talking about it.


  1. We are so much alike in many things. When I told my husband about my kink we went through such an exciting time. Sex went from about a 1 to a 10+ and I had a place to discuss it! I wrote about sex, spank, toys, implements. It was all the excitement of sex for the first time and discussing it like a teenager, but with mature friends who agreed and discussed it all with me. That wild exciting honeymoon period didn't last, how could it? So like you, I mostly just write for me about my day to day life. But sometimes I write on topic and it makes me laugh to see how the numbers spike to just have the word 'spanking' in the title.

    But I do email to check on people I don't hear from in a long time. Just like if I didn't see a neighbor going to work, or not putting out the trash or there were papers in the drive. We're friends out here and we should check on one another. That's what friends do.

  2. you know PK - your comment about checking up on neighbours made me think about standing on our front deck. Folks walk by - some say hi some stop to talk.. and I realized it's a bit like that with the blogs... some people walk by and some stop to chat... it's just life isn't it??

  3. I like that you are writing about you and not just all about the kinky stuff. It is nice to connect with the like-minded, on a worldwide scale. But it is also nice to remind people that we are real life individuals, with jobs and lives and concerns outside of kink. Not just the obsessed perverts, dribbling in front of computers, that some people would like to portray us as.


    1. nodding I do believe you get it Prefectdt :) kinda thought you might

  4. Hi Morningstar, nodding at the comments from PK and Prefectdt. I can so relate. When I first started blogging I was excited to be able to be open about kink and share with like-minded people. I loved receiving feedback, support and advice from others. I have said before that the blog actually proved to be a useful tool for us when we were negotiating our ttwd relationship.

    The friendships made here go beyond the kink. I always enjoy reading about other aspects of blog friend's lives.


  5. I agree with the others. At first it was so exciting to share all the intimate details with everyone. Now it's more mundane, everyday stuff. I've noticed it with so many other bloggers too. But that's fine. I love hearing about your day to day life. Keep it up :)


    1. thanks Hermione - I really think (especially for newbies) that they need to know it's not a 24 hour thing... there's more to kink than whips and chains :)


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