I have been back on Fetlife these past couple of days -- because another sub and I are arranging a lunch date on Monday.
Today when I popped on I saw a post by someone I know (who for the record is a male submissive) ...... about how 'male' submissives should be "paying" the Dominant they play with........
Pay you ask??!! yup P A Y !! with service -- like cutting her lawn or shoveling her snow or fixing a leaky faucet........ AND it should be done before any play ensues because the sub will never actually pay the service once played with.
W T F !!??
I HATE double standards -- and this reeks of double standards.
Not 5 years ago I witnessed the 'black balling' of a male Dominant for demanding 'payment' for play. He was figuratively tarred and feathered and dragged around the community for all to see and go TSK TSK
I went tsk tsk too -- because ya know -- play is play !! It shouldn't require any sort of payment ........ that makes it a Pro Dom situation no???
One of the reasons I have left Fetlife and the public community is because so many poor lil female subs are crying "rape" or "non-consensual" play -- and pointing fingers at Doms and everyone gets bent of shape because some poor helpless female just got taken advantage of............... makes my blood boil!! BUT it is ok for a female Domme to demand service before play??!!!!
When I played with Doms at parties (other than my Dom) I did offer service before and after - service equaled fetching them drinks or snacks ....nothing more nothing less. AND I never played with any Dom who expected payment. After all don't they get enjoyment out of playing?? mutual enjoyment should be reward enough no???
IF I give you a gift -- I do not expect a gift in return -- a 'thank you' is nice -- but a gift? NO..... I gave the gift because of the pleasure it gave me to do something nice..... and to see the pleasure on your face.
This journal entry this morning on Fetlife just proves to me -- once again -- why I have no patience with Fetlife -- or patience with the new mentality of the BDSM players.
(rant over -- putting away my soap box)
I feel the same as you. Unless you are purposefully seeking out a Pro-D situation, play is play. Both parties get something out of it, and no further incentive should be required!
ReplyDeleteMy title is Sir. I am a Dom and alpha male.
ReplyDeleteI have been in the "scene" for over 20 years.
When I play, I DO NOT ever expect to be paid for my time.
I am there to feed my sadistic side and inflick the pain that I need to upon the sub that has agreed to play with me.
For a "sub" to say that they should pay the Dom/Top that they happen to be playing with is ludicrous!!
It is called play for a reason. We are there to feed the side of ourselves that can't/shouldn't be shown out in our vanilla life.
I have never "expected" a sub to pay me ever. To me, if you have to pay for it, find a ProDom. That's what they and expect.
As for those of us that are out in this community to have fun and maybe socialize, we are there just for that.
I am in a committed relationship with Morningstar and have played with her for a long time. Never had the thought of being paid for my time cross my mind.
I believe that if you think you need to pay the Dom, your not in the right place.
Sir Steve
I agree with you also. Payment shouldn't come into this at all. Takes it to a different level if you pay.
ReplyDelete